#99
Even after speaking, he kept an eye on me while tightly clasping his hands together. Sunlight streaming in from the window created long shadows, partially hiding the tightly hunched face of Tus. I turned to Tus and answered his question.
“Yes. What is it?”
Although we were both first-years, I had never directly spoken with Tus before. Even when I helped Tus during the main event, I only made eye contact with him without addressing him. I only stepped in because Iria didn’t appear at that time; otherwise, I would have had no chance to encounter him at all.
Even in the game’s story, Tus was merely a nameless extra who briefly appeared in that event.
“Well, um.”
Tus stammered and hung his head low. Since there was still time before class, I decided to wait a little until he calmed down.
I could tell how nervous he was from the moment he asked if I was Andelion. From the beginning, there was no one at this school who didn’t know that I was Andelion Crusay. The only son of the Crusay family. Even if I was the son who had fallen out of favor, I was still the heir to Duke Crusay.
“Could, could you, perhaps, help me?”
I stood silently, blinking my eyes slowly.
“It’s, well. Young Master Karn keeps, keeps not stopping. In class, in the dormitory. Constantly, constantly, constantly!!”
As if unable to bear it any longer, Tus shouted loudly. When he suddenly raised his head, the shadow hiding his face was lifted. The boy standing in the bright light was very small and looked desperate.
Was I the only one who had helped him? I could tell this boy was backed into a corner if he was desperate enough to ask someone he’d never spoken with before.
I looked at Tus, who was trembling and unable to say anything. The faces of Mujin who would be waiting in the room, Rikin who had not pursued me to the end, Persis who cared for me even in complicated situations, and finally Iria who was still continuing the main story, all flashed through my mind.
I didn’t know what was right for me to do here. I just stood there, rooted to the spot, looking back at Tus without being able to do anything.
The desperate gaze with which he looked at me slowly began to waver. His eyes, which had been moving rapidly from side to side, eventually turned downward again. Though I was just standing there without saying anything, Tus resigned himself as if he had already heard my answer.
“Ah, no. It’s nothing. Yeah.”
Tus struggled to push out his deeply subdued voice, then hung his head and slowly walked to the end of the corridor.
“…”
I had no luxury to help others. How could I help anyone when I could barely take care of myself? I needed to avoid drawing attention at school as much as possible, and helping Tus could bring unnecessary attention. Moreover, my identity was connected to many people.
Additionally, if my involvement with Tus further disrupted Iria’s already misaligned story, it would be disastrous. With various events unfolding and things changing, if I got entangled with Tus as well…
As I continued these thoughts while taking one step after another, I stopped in my tracks.
In truth, I knew all of this was just an excuse. There were various ways I could have helped Tus without directly getting involved.
I could have listened to his concerns and comforted him, or I could have stopped Tus as he walked away and suggested asking a teacher or someone else for help.
But I didn’t stop the resigned Tus. The fact that I ignored someone who had summoned the courage to ask me for help weighed on me like a heavy stone.
* * *
“Your face looks dark.”
Startled by Yutis’s words as he walked beside me, I looked at him. Tus, whom I had seen this morning, was stuck in my mind. My stomach felt unsettled from the mana fluctuating in response to my turbulent emotions. Naturally, my feelings must have shown on my face.
When I couldn’t say anything, shadows began to gradually fall on Yutis’s face as well. If this continued, Yutis would worry again, so I tried to change the subject somehow. However, Yutis, sensing the situation, spoke before I could.
“You can speak honestly. That’s better than hiding it.”
I recalled past instances where I had hidden things and misunderstood on my own, failing to properly see Yutis’s sincerity. I couldn’t say anything, just moved my lips slightly before letting out a small sigh. Where should I start? From my current situation to the conversation I had with Rikin this morning. And then Tus. There were overflowing matters weighing on my heart.
As I remained silent and worried, Yutis moved a little closer to me. His expression was unreadable, but I could feel the concern permeating in his eyes. I slowly smiled and parted my dried lips.
“I feel like there are too many things I can’t do anything about, so I’m feeling a bit heavy-hearted.”
I couldn’t explain the detailed situation to Yutis, but this was my honest feeling right now. Yutis, who had been staring at me, straightened his posture.
In the distance, I could see students hurrying to enter the classroom for the class that was about to begin. I knew we should move quickly too, but I didn’t feel rushed.
It was Yutis, who had been gazing into the distance, who spoke first.
“I also know that I’m in a position where I want to help Andelion, but cannot.”
Surprised that Yutis would say such a thing, I turned to him with a shocked face, about to refute him. But again, Yutis spoke first.
“Nevertheless.”
Yutis stopped in his tracks and captured me in his deep eyes.
“If there’s anything I can do, even something very small, please tell me.”
I looked up at him with my mouth half-open.
“Even something truly small is fine. It’s enough for me just to be of some small help to you, Andelion.”
The boy I thought disliked me had somehow become my strongest ally. I felt ashamed that I hadn’t properly recognized his sincerity until now. He had been a person who protected me at my side no matter what I said. I felt apologetic above all.
The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was sinking into a quagmire. Even Yutis’s offer to help made me blame my inadequate self, continuing like a Möbius strip. This wasn’t right to do to Yutis, who had sincerely offered to help me. Wasn’t I using his words as a means to attack myself again?
I took a deep breath.
Yutis had told me I could ask him for anything. He meant that anything that could lighten my burden, even a little, would be fine. In that case, might it be okay to ask someone for a small favor?
The face of Tus, who had stood before me with courage just now, came to mind. So this is how difficult it was. Only by being in a similar position did I deeply feel how difficult it must have been for Tus.
“I have a favor to ask.”
This was a first. Me sincerely asking someone, especially Yutis, for a favor. Even Yutis seemed surprised, probably not expecting me to speak up so quickly.
His appearance looking like someone his age made me smile unconsciously.
“There’s someone I’d like you to look after on my behalf.”
Though I couldn’t help directly, perhaps there was another way. With a small hope, I recalled the small boy who had shouted at me while trembling. Hoping to be of some help to him, I explained to Yutis what had just happened, one by one.
* * *
In the original game, there were several major events. The exam was arguably the biggest event among them. As an event that could confirm how one had spent the semester, it was also linked to the affection levels of various characters.
Especially important was who you prepared for the exam with, and since I liked Iria and Persis, I always chose Persis as my event partner.
I knew well that this reality I was in was different from the game, but in this case, I really hoped that Persis and Iria would proceed together.
Although I couldn’t tell who Iria was attracted to yet, I expected she might study with Persis for this exam since she had frequently encountered him and experienced a major event with him. Especially since this exam was also a competition item with Karn, Iria was preparing more sincerely than anyone else.
My role was to cheer for the two of them from a distance. I had been concerned lately that Iria and Persis were spending less time together. I thought seeing them together through this might somewhat calm my confused heart.
But why did it turn out like this?
“Andelion, do you know this?”
Iria said with a slightly dejected face as she held out a textbook to me. I calmly looked at the textbook Iria presented. It was definitely something explained in class, but if you looked at it calmly again, it could be a bit confusing.
“Ah, that’s…”
“If you don’t even know that much, wouldn’t it be better to just do it alone again? Is there any need to do it together?”
Just as I was about to answer, Persis spoke first while resting his chin on his hand. I couldn’t completely agree with Persis’s words, but some parts were correct. Though it was difficult, a student of Iria’s caliber wouldn’t be unfamiliar with this problem. Unable to say anything, I glanced at Iria.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
