#71
I could feel Yaksi’s gaze fixed on me even though my face was hidden by the robe. I tried my best to appear unruffled while waiting for her answer.
“I came to see you.”
“Pardon?”
“It’s a joke. Can’t a person make jokes?”
When Yaksi makes them, jokes don’t sound like jokes. I tried to read her intentions, but the thick robe concealed all her motives. In the end, I had no choice but to silently wait for what she would say next.
“I just had some business around here.”
“Is your business finished, ma’am?”
“Yes. It’s done. In a more interesting direction than I expected.”
The amusement in Yaksi’s voice made my nerves razor-sharp. She walked past me slowly, as if she had said everything she needed to say.
“I’ll see you later in class.”
“Yes. I’ll see you then.”
Even after responding to her, I stared at Yaksi’s retreating figure for a long while. I felt my breath gradually becoming shallow. I needed to go to my room right now and check on the sword inside.
Even after Yaksi disappeared, I pretended to remain composed as I walked to my room, opened the door, and went inside. The dark room welcomed me. It was the same as usual, but unlike last time, I couldn’t hear the sword’s voice calling me.
I quickly turned on the light and saw the sword standing beside the bed. Thank goodness. It seemed Yaksi hadn’t entered the room. I slowly approached the sword and touched its handle.
“I’m back.”
Usually, a brief greeting would promptly be met with the sword’s voice resonating in my mind. But even after a considerable time passed, the sword didn’t speak to me. Perhaps it was sleeping like before? I shook the sword a few times as if waking someone from sleep.
“Are you sleeping?”
The sword didn’t budge at my words. It would speak to me again like before. It would say, “What’s wrong? Were you worried?” while watching me panic. So I just needed to wait a little. I shouldn’t disturb the sword while it was enjoying a deep sleep. I had no right to interfere with the sword just because I was feeling anxious. I decided to let it sleep soundly today.
Contrary to my thoughts, my hand remained on the sword’s handle, and my gaze wouldn’t leave the blade stained in darkness.
How long did I stay like that? I didn’t think about washing up or going to bed. I remained motionless like someone nailed to the spot until the dark night passed, all sounds diminished, and the sun began to rise slowly.
The sword didn’t wake from its sleep all night. That could only mean one thing. I picked up the sword.
In truth, I had been thinking lately that something was off about the sword. Perhaps it was because I had been asking questions I shouldn’t have. Whatever the reason, the sword had been showing slightly different behavior from usual. Sometimes it would respond a beat slower, and last time it didn’t react to my words for quite a while. The sword said it had been sleeping then.
That’s why I had asked. Since this might happen again, I had asked who I should turn to for help in case of an emergency.
I gripped the sword tightly and slipped out of the room. Though I wanted to run, that might attract attention. The corridor was already filled with students getting ready to leave. Normally, I too would be preparing to eat breakfast and attend class, but today was different.
“Young Master Andelion.”
I heard a voice calling me from behind. Before I could turn around, Yutis had already approached my side.
“Is something wrong?”
In a way, this was fortunate. I had been about to call for a carriage abruptly, but with Yutis here, things would be much easier.
“I need to go to the Duke’s residence, so please call a carriage.”
“What? Right now?”
“Yes.”
Normally, I might have considered whether to make a request or explain the situation to him. But not now. This was nothing short of an order. I had wanted to treat Yutis simply as Yutis, but in this situation, I was using my position.
Yutis looked at me silently for a moment before nodding.
“Yes, understood. I’ll call a carriage right away. Please wait inside the main gate. Don’t stay outside.”
Watching Yutis walk away after saying this made me feel sick to my stomach. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was using him for my own purposes.
I clutched the sword tightly in my arms. The sword in my embrace felt colder than usual today. The sword had never been warm, but today it felt strangely unfamiliar. It will be fine. The sword had told me to find Kara if I was in danger. I was certain everything would return to normal once I showed the sword to Kara.
Perhaps the Duke would take action. The sword was essential for the Duke’s objectives. He wouldn’t stay idle when the sword was behaving differently than usual.
Before I knew it, I had reached the main gate. The carriage hadn’t arrived yet, as there was no sign of Yutis. I collapsed into a chair inside the gate like someone whose strength had drained away.
The sword is different from usual. Perhaps this was the situation I had been wishing for all along. Without the sword, the Duke would lose his means to control the power of demons. If that happened, Iria wouldn’t face dangerous situations and could end up with Persis. That was the future I wanted.
When I was first born into this world, all I had was Iria. I constantly wondered what I should do for her happiness and her future. The reason I asked the Duke for the sword was because it seemed like the only way to protect her.
Surprisingly, the Duke placed the sword in my hands. As if he was confident the outcome wouldn’t change anyway. Could it be that the Duke knew I would become this attached to the sword? He might have anticipated that I would lose my mind just because the sword was temporarily malfunctioning.
What if the sword never returns to normal? The changes to the original storyline might have affected the sword as well. Everything is uncertain. I truly know nothing. They say ignorance is a sin. I am a sinner. Nothing but a fool who knows only how to run around searching for answers.
How can I protect anyone or change the future when I’m this inadequate? I should have known my place. I thought I was aware of my limitations, but that wasn’t true. I had overestimated myself. “Arrogance,” a word I considered furthest from me, was actually close at hand, growing deep within me.
What a foolish human I am.
“Ana.”
I raised my head at the voice calling me. I saw Persis standing in front of me with wide eyes. In that moment, something I had been holding back burst.
“Ana, are you oka—”
Persis’s voice, just starting to speak, broke off. The face of the startled Persis gradually became blurry.
I was crying.
I understood intellectually that I shouldn’t suddenly act like this, but my body wouldn’t listen. Once the tears began, I couldn’t control them. Persis, taken aback by my sudden reaction, sat down beside me, at a loss for what to do.
As I felt Persis’s warmth next to me, my tears flowed even more violently than before. I didn’t know how to calm myself down. The sorrow that had erupted couldn’t be subdued no matter how hard I tried.
“What’s wrong?”
I tightly shut my eyes at Persis’s question. There was no way I could answer him. Normally, I wouldn’t have acted like this. I might have said I was fine and left, or I might have reflected on why I suddenly burst into tears. No, I probably wouldn’t have cried in the first place. That’s how unstable I was right now.
I tried my best to organize my emotions by taking small, deep breaths. But my emotions, already in disarray, were difficult to control.
Nothing was certain yet. If I lost my mind here like someone who had given up everything, I would be the one to suffer later. So it was right to quickly wipe away my tears and face Persis properly. If possible, I decided to say I was fine or offer a plausible excuse.
With that resolve, I opened my eyes, only to meet Iria’s gaze as she spotted me from a distance and quickly walked over.
“Andelion! What’s wrong?”
Why did Iria have to come here now? The emotions I had just managed to compose burst forth again. Feeling that this situation was becoming untenable, I covered my face with both hands. The situation wasn’t getting better—it was only getting worse—and it was truly maddening.
“Andelion? Lift your face and look at me.”
“Don’t touch him.”
“Hey, what did you do to him?”
Through my darkened vision, I could hear the conversation between Iria and Persis. It seemed Iria thought I was crying because of something Persis had done.
I shook my head and lowered my hands that had been covering my face.
“No, it’s… I’m just… feeling strange right now…”
Tears that continued to flow like water from a broken pot—it was truly strange beyond measure. The pressure to perform well since entering school must have been greater than I realized.
When I was at the Duke’s residence, I could easily rely on the people around me, but school was completely different. I thought that if I didn’t do well here, Iria and Persis would be in danger. Then I realized that everything I did was useless, and that realization made me a little sad.
On top of that, I was cradling a stone-like sword in my arms. It was a situation where I felt my powerlessness to the bone.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
