Though I was the one who started the conversation, I’d worried it might be awkward—but it turned out to be a surprisingly pleasant time. We strolled through the garden, talking nonstop.
“Your face when you found out Gold was actually a dog—priceless.”
“Right? I even called him sunbae at first. I should have realized something was off when I saw your expression. I was so embarrassed I thought I might die.”
“Same here. I nearly died trying not to laugh.”
We chatted about old memories—
“Even if you’re close, isn’t having her sit on your lap a bit much?”
“What’s the big deal? It’s not like I’m the one sitting on your lap.”
“She’s a grown girl. That’s why I brought it up.”
“Twelve is not grown. She’s a baby. And Mari gave full permission, by the way.”
“Mari? You call her Mari?”
“Yeah. What? Wait—don’t tell me… are you jealous?”
“That’s not it—”
“Pfft, you are. You’re jealous.”
“…Let’s not talk.”
We tossed around playful jokes like that.
Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was the magic of the night air. Whatever the reason, I felt giddy. Everything we said made me laugh. We walked for what felt like hours, until we eventually arrived at the rose conservatory in the back garden.
“Oh, the glass greenhouse! It feels so different at night. It’s so pretty, all sparkly.”
“Yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it like this too.”
Bathed in moonlight, the glass dome glowed with a soft blue shimmer. It had a completely different vibe than it did during the day. On a whim, I tugged at his arm.
“Let’s go inside.”
“Do we really need to?”
“Don’t you think the sky will look even better from there? It’s our stargazing night, after all. We should do everything we can. Who knows when we’ll get another night like this?”
“Fair enough.”
The conservatory ceiling was still as low as ever. To reach the center, we had to walk hunched over the whole way. Still, I had it easier than Kalz, who had to waddle like a duck. I couldn’t help laughing at the sight, and he shot me a look.
“Is this why you dragged me in here?”
That only made it funnier.
When we finally reached the center, I looked up, filled with anticipation, at the round glass ceiling.
“Wow… Do you see that?”
“I see it.”
Huh. We’d had a conversation like this before, hadn’t we? The strange sense of déjà vu tickled at the back of my mind, but there wasn’t time to dwell on it. The scene in front of me was too stunning to look away.
Starlight shattered against the glass, scattering right before my eyes like a shower of tiny diamonds. The stars felt so close, I half-believed I was standing in the middle of a spaceship. The quiet chirping of insects and the soft scent of roses made everything feel like a dream.
And when I caught a glimpse of the wonder on his face, I realized I wasn’t alone in this feeling. My heart swelled to the point I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Humming a tune, I spun in place. I thought he’d make fun of my goofy steps, but instead, Kalz walked up to me and held out his hand.
“May I have this dance?”
“Wait, you’re serious?”
“Of course. I’ll show you what real dancing looks like.”
“And where does all this endless confidence come from?”
“Take my hand and you’ll find out.”
Feigning curiosity, I placed my hand in his. The next thing I knew, my body lifted into the air.
“Whoa! That’s a bit much!”
“Don’t worry. I won’t drop you. Just enjoy it.”
“Pfft. This is your idea of real dancing?”
“What if it is?”
“Ahaha! I don’t know if it’s real or not, but it’s way more fun than dancing alone.”
As he spun me in the air, it felt like I was on a ride. I burst out laughing. He seemed pleased by my reaction, spinning me around a few more times before gently setting me down—like laying an egg on a cushion of feathers.
“That’s it? We’re done already?”
“Hardly. Put your left hand on my shoulder.”
From there, our bodies moved naturally. I simply stepped forward and back in rhythm with him, and somehow we pulled off moves that actually looked like dancing. His lead was so smooth, even someone like me—with zero experience—could follow without trouble. So that confidence was earned.
Before I realized it, the crickets had become our orchestra, the starlight our spotlight. It felt like we were the only ones left in the world—and that feeling wasn’t bad at all. It was warm, sweet. I found myself wishing it could last forever. Eyes closed, I thought:
I guess I have to admit it now.
Maybe this was always inevitable. Maybe it was decided the moment I found a full-grown lion cute. Or when I resolved to break the magic—for him. Or maybe it was when he got drunk, confessed his pain, and all I wanted was to hold him.
I kept telling myself this wasn’t love. That it was something like love, but not quite. I scribbled checklist after checklist trying to prove it. But it was pointless.
That nameless feeling I tried to run from—calling it that, as if refusing to name it could make it go away—had been chasing me this whole time, screaming at the top of its lungs.
I like him.
Yeah… I like Kalz.
He’s not a woman, not even conventionally handsome, and he’s not fully human either—but I’m completely, hopelessly in love with him.
The moment I admitted it, all the feelings I’d been keeping at bay came crashing in like a tidal wave. The place where our fingers met didn’t just tingle—it buzzed. And the spot on my waist where his hand had rested? It thudded like my heart had moved there.
It was overwhelming, unfamiliar… but not unwelcome.
“Haah… I’m in trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“You don’t need to know. Or maybe… maybe you do. Just—not yet.”
“What are you talking about? If something’s wrong, you need to tell me right now.”
Instead of answering, I leaned forward and rested my head against his chest. Kalz flinched slightly from the sudden touch, startled—but he didn’t pull away.
I could hear his heartbeat, loud and fast. Just like mine. I looked up at him and smiled.
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
“…Honestly.”
His gaze lowered to meet mine, warm and steady—like the stars overhead.
“You’re impossible to figure out.”
“That’s part of my charm.”
“You’re always like this.”
I don’t remember exactly what we talked about on the way back to the mansion. I just know I laughed more than usual, and he was gentler than usual. He even walked me all the way to my room. But then—
“Oh, right. I’m going out tomorrow.”
“Again? Isn’t that getting a bit frequent? What is it this time?”
“I have to return a book I borrowed from Leon.”
“Again? You might as well start clocking in over there.”
“Excuse me, my contract’s with this house. What would happen if the one paying me forgets that?”
“Right… the contract. Wasn’t it agreed that you’d only go out twice a month?”
“It was. But I also recall a very generous employer promising full cooperation for my investigations. Of course, if that generous man with the broad chest turns out to have a stingy little heart, then I suppose the situation changes.”
“…I’ve got nothing to say to that. Fine. Just go rest.”
“You too. Sleep well, Kalz.”
“…Good night, Bell.”
Not much had changed between us—at least, not on the surface. I glanced over at the notebook lying on my desk.
[Checklist: Are my feelings really THAT?]
□ Do I want to be with him 24/7?
■ Do I get curious when he’s out of sight?
□ Does being with him make me happy?
■ Does he look attractive or adorable to me?
■ Do I feel jealous if he’s close with others?
■ Do nice things remind me of him?
■ Do I rely on him in difficult moments?
■ Do I feel an urge to touch or pet him?
*Reserve judgment until all criteria are met!
I ticked the third box, then quietly closed the notebook and tucked it deep into my drawer.
Not every box was checked—but it didn’t matter anymore.
Because I’d stopped holding back.
