81
* * *
Doun stared at Samin in silence for quite a long time. Then he said he was cold and wanted to go home, with a face that looked like he might burst into tears at any moment.
“Do you feel a bit more at ease now?”
Instead of pressing him about why he had cried, Samin asked this. Though he might seem like someone who lived carelessly without much thought, he was actually quite perceptive. Especially when it came to Doun—his intuition reached an almost supernatural level.
If Samin had asked what had happened just now, Doun would have told him the reason. But he would have inevitably drawn another strange line, saying he was sorry for talking about depressing things and that he was fine now so Samin shouldn’t worry.
Samin didn’t want to see Doun watching his reactions and speaking that way. He simply wanted Doun to be happy. When Doun nodded at the question about whether his heart felt more at ease, Samin smiled gently.
“Let’s go home, then.”
And so the two who had impulsively sought out the sea in the late dawn were now sitting in the car, heading back home.
Doun felt breathless from Samin’s tenderness, but rather than finding it unpleasant, it was closer to willingness. It was proof that there was someone who thought of him this much, worried about him, and comforted him.
Once he decided to fully accept Samin’s affection that he had always been busy pushing away, his heart—which had been tangled up and tormenting him—became as peaceful as if he had left it behind on that wave-lapped seashore. So much so that he belatedly began to worry about Samin, who must have been busy moving around all day.
“Samin.”
“Yes.”
“Won’t you be tired if you drop me off at home and then drive back to your place? Today you had the conquest, your grandmother’s birthday, and all this driving… You were incredibly busy.”
“If I got tired from just this much, I’d have to quit being a hunter. I’m an S-class hunter, after all. I’m fine.”
Not knowing that Doun was worrying about him, Samin laughed, saying he was perfectly fine. In his own way, he was trying to preempt any guilt Doun might feel.
“Well, that’s a relief then. I was going to tell you to sleep over at my place if you were tired.”
The moment Doun said “that’s a relief,” Samin gripped the steering wheel tightly.
‘You crazy idiot.’
He had just kicked away with his foot the good fortune that had rolled right up to him, all because his tongue had wagged carelessly. The old saying about those who rise by their mouth also falling by their mouth suddenly came to mind. Still, his good fortune couldn’t have rolled too far away, so he decided to somehow pick it up.
“Actually, I just lied! I’m tired right now. I only have enough energy to drive to hyung’s place. Oh man, I’m so tired… My whole body aches…”
The guy who had been perfectly fine just seconds ago suddenly changed his tune. Even if someone wasn’t particularly bright, how many people would take this at face value? Even Doun, who trusted people easily, knew this was a lie.
However, instead of finding Samin despicable or picking a fight with him, Doun just laughed once. He had long since entered a stage where none of Samin’s actions were annoying or hateful. Far from being hateful, he only liked him more as time passed, to a confusing degree.
‘Where did this guy suddenly pop out from?’
When he thought about it, everything about their meeting was miraculous. If Samin’s persistence had been even slightly lacking, or if he had blocked Samin’s phone number in a fit of anger, they never would have met—that’s the kind of relationship they had.
“Then sleep over.”
Doun decided to willingly accept Samin, who had come to him like a miracle. He still didn’t have the courage to tell Samin he liked him or suggest they date.
He had never dated another man before. Moreover, though he couldn’t define it exactly, he was also afraid of major changes coming to this ambiguous relationship they had now.
‘Doun. Sorry, but now that we’re actually dating, how should I put it… my affection, or should I call it interest… it’s kind of cooled off. I thought I liked obedient guys, but I guess that wasn’t it.’
When he was twenty, Doun had briefly dated an older woman he met while working part-time after getting his own small studio apartment and becoming independent from his relatives’ house. She was someone with whom the inexperienced Doun had worked up the courage to share his first kiss, but she suddenly announced their breakup just one month into their relationship.
‘Sorry. Let’s stop seeing each other.’
Doun was scared. He was afraid that Samin, like his ex-girlfriend, would abandon him after they became a couple, saying his feelings had cooled.
If he broke up with Samin, it seemed like he wouldn’t be able to feel again the happiness he had experienced from conquering towers with trustworthy colleagues, exchanging trivial conversations, and gradually returning to routine daily life.
He knew it was cowardly to think about after a breakup without even trying to date. But he couldn’t help it. Samin’s presence had grown that large at some point.
What Doun could do now was give Samin a little more of his daily life. For now, this was his best.
“Hyung, you keep telling me to sleep over like this—at this rate, isn’t it basically like I’m living with you? How about we just try living together properly?”
Samin said this while watching Doun’s reaction. When Doun continued to look at him as if telling him to continue, Samin began to chatter enthusiastically.
“If I had my way, I’d want to insist on sleeping in the same bed as hyung, but honestly, if I did that I’d probably get insomnia from being too excited, hmm… If you just give me one empty room, I’ll lay out my own bedding and sleep there. Of course I’ll pay rent and share the housework too.”
“I regularly call a cleaning service, so that’s fine.”
“But there are still small household chores to do, right? I’m actually quite neat, you know. If you’re curious, check for yourself.”
For someone claiming to be neat, there had been laundry scattered all over his house. Doun briefly objected internally before asking Samin, who was gripping the steering wheel:
“Do you still want to be my roommate?”
“Of course!”
It was a confident answer without a trace of hesitation. Samin always knew his feelings clearly and had no reservations about expressing them. Doun fiddled with the seatbelt across his body.
If they lived in the same house, the time he spent with Samin would increase. He might naturally be able to figure out exactly what his wavering heart wanted.
If they broke up, they would never be able to live like this again. Even taking on that risk, he had to decide whether he wanted to date Samin. For Samin’s sake too, who was expressing and craving his affection with his whole body.
“Do you really want to try living with me then?”
“…Huh?”
When Doun asked in a slightly trembling voice, Samin let out a dumbfounded response. Living together—it was what he had wanted, but somehow he couldn’t help feeling like he was taking advantage of Doun’s moment of emotional vulnerability for his own benefit. He didn’t welcome this ambivalent feeling.
“Hyung. You’re not making this decision impulsively because you’re caught up in some emotion right now, are you?”
Doun was flustered by Samin’s unexpected question. Since this was the guy who usually sang the “roommate, roommate” song, he had naturally expected him to eagerly agree. However, Samin was instead worried about his mental state.
Though he was grateful for his concern, he strangely felt rejected and his lips automatically jutted out.
“I can’t say it’s absolutely not that, but I’m more levelheaded than you’d think right now.”
“Well, that’s a relief then.”
Just then, the traffic light turned red. Samin glanced at Doun, who couldn’t hide his sulky mood, as he brought the car to a stop. While waiting for the light, he tapped the steering wheel with his index finger, lost in thought.
‘Living together would be good for me. But should I just gobble this up, or not…’
Samin’s dilemma didn’t last long.
“Doun hyung. Can I really live with you?”
“…If you don’t want to, forget it.”
His attitude suggested he might withdraw the offer at any moment, claiming it was just something he said casually.
“No, no! It’s absolutely not that I don’t want to.”
“…”
“Ahem, so does this mean I got promoted? To hyung’s roommate and sole boyfriend candidate?”
“Yeah. Consider yourself promoted.”
At Doun’s answer mixed with laughter, Samin couldn’t contain his overwhelming feelings and poured out words rapid-fire.
“Doun hyung, you know what? I told you before, right? That I’m a prepared roommate? Living with hyung from now on, I’ll make it super fun for you. Look forward to it! I’m confident I can make sure you never regret asking me to be your roommate.”
He could make it even more fun than now? Doun was a bit surprised, but also became anxious that Samin might exhaust himself and give up.
“No. You don’t have to deliberately do special things like that. Just try living together, and if it doesn’t work out, just tell me in advance. I won’t try to hold onto you. Honestly, there’s no real reason for you to leave your perfectly good home to live at mine.”
Though he had suggested living together, Doun still didn’t know exactly why Samin wanted to live with him. Honestly, Samin’s behavior was completely unpredictable, so he couldn’t find any reason for why he acted that way.
“Come on, there’s no way you’d kick me out for being bothersome and noisy. Anyway, I’ll sleep at hyung’s place tonight, and tomorrow I’ll stop by my house briefly to grab what I need.”
“Alright, then.”
Even though their cohabitation had been impulsively and haphazardly arranged, Samin hummed happily as he steered the wheel, simply pleased about it.
“Wow, isn’t the sky especially beautiful today? I think it’s because it’s the historic first day I get to live with hyung. I should write it on my calendar as an anniversary. When it’s our one-year anniversary, let’s have a cohabitation celebration party!”
Watching Samin’s happiness, the corners of Doun’s mouth were slowly lifting.
If the formula his father had told him about in childhood was true, then Samin definitely liked him. Leaving his perfectly good home to live in a small room in someone else’s house was clearly a loss. Yet Samin was delighted. And laughing until his cheeks might burst.
‘What an idiot. I saw earlier that his place looked really nice too.’
Samin’s place was even on the top floor. The guy who lived on the penthouse floor of an apartment where the elevator wouldn’t even move without the resident’s exclusive card key was now going to freeload in one room of a much smaller house, yet he was humming with joy.
“Hyung. I’m bored—want to play word chain with me until we get home?”
Doun readily nodded. If he didn’t focus on meaningless joke exchanges, he felt like he might start babbling depressing things again.
“Sure. You start.”
When he yielded the first turn, Samin muttered without even a moment’s consideration.
“Iridium.”
“…”
“Now it’s hyung’s turn.”
“…”
“5, 4, 3…”
He couldn’t slap those smug lips with his palm. Doun frowned and let out a deep sigh.
“Annoying. Really.”
“Hmm. Did I start with something too difficult? Then I’ll start over.”
“…Uh.”
“Sunset.”
“No… Hey, do you really want to die?”
“If I’m dying by hyung’s hands, I welcome it anytime!”
“Ah, I’m not playing!”
In the end, Doun rolled down the window and breathed in the cool night air repeatedly.
‘Did I make a mistake suggesting we live together? Should I take it back even now?’
After agonizing intensely for a while, he realized he had forgotten about his family’s death anniversary, and Doun’s mind—which had been packed with gloom and self-loathing—was now completely filled with Kyung Samin.
He felt like there was a large brown poodle running around frantically in his head, calling “Hyung! Hyung!”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
