“…I like you.”
“I want to have you.”
Cha Jae-woo’s voice refused to leave his mind. Although those words must have been uttered merely to deceive him, they only succeeded in shaking him to his core. It wasn’t because he believed Cha Jae-woo’s words—rather, it was because the sheer horror of Cha Jae-woo trying to use him in the end left him feeling sick.
Surely, Cha Jae-woo must have known it was pointless to ask him for Guiding. If he refused, that would be the end of it. Instead, rattling his heart by pretending to like him was a far better tactic for Cha Jae-woo.
He must have hoped that the more he stirred him up, the more confused he would become—and that eventually, he would believe those words were sincere. That way, everything would become simple. Cha Jae-woo would once again have a Guide who was blindly devoted to him.
“Haa…”
He had no desire to be swayed by such a cunning trick again. To avoid that, it would be better to get a clear answer.
The Guide Center, which he hadn’t visited in a long time, felt strangely unfamiliar. People glanced at him briefly but pretended not to notice. Already suffocated by the mere thought of whether he really needed to come all the way here, being the target of curious stares only made him more exhausted.
‘Just check and leave.’
He moved through the center with familiar ease. Cha Jae-woo’s intentions were obvious. When thinking a bit further ahead, he must have decided it was better to keep him firmly tied down.
But was it certain? Doubt made him hesitate. It wasn’t because he fell for Cha Jae-woo’s words, expressions, or attitude—it was the fluctuation of waves he sensed near Cha Jae-woo that left him unsettled.
At some point, he began to sense emotions from Cha Jae-woo’s energy waves. At first, he believed it was something fabricated to deceive him. The same went for hearing Cha Jae-woo’s inner thoughts—it seemed plausible, considering that Cha Jae-woo was a Mental Esper.
The problem was the persistent, nagging doubts. Was it truly possible for Cha Jae-woo to manipulate his energy waves in such a way? Could he really speak to him with his inner thoughts?
That’s why he came here, seeking certainty. He knew it, too—deep down, he understood this could be a product of a feeble hope, a sliver of optimism that perhaps Cha Jae-woo’s feelings were real, even if he could never say them out loud.
He wanted to crush that hope completely. Even if it hurt, at least he would find peace of mind. There would be no need to agonize anymore about whether to believe or not.
“……”
There was a library inside the center. When he used to frequent the Guide Center, he would often stop by to borrow books, driven by his ignorance about Espers and Guides and his desperate need to learn more.
He was thankful now that he had spent time here before. Thanks to that, he could at least attempt something like this. No matter how much he searched online, it was hard to find proper information about Espers. It was inevitable, given how overwhelmingly more ordinary people there were compared to Espers.
Entering the modestly sized library, he slowly scanned the books.
‘I think I saw something about research on energy waves…’
He moved, trying to recall vague memories from when he was desperately studying how to improve his Guiding skills. While the faint sound of pages turning echoed intermittently around him, his eyes darted busily. Maybe because he didn’t plan on lingering, his footsteps seemed to grow faster.
‘Maybe it’s here.’
There wasn’t a dedicated section for energy wave research. Standing before the shelves lined with books on Esper abilities, he carefully examined the titles.
“Haeyul?”
Because he had been so focused, he failed to notice someone nearby—a mistake. Startled by the voice calling his name, he quickly turned his head. It was Kim Sol.
“Uh…”
“It’s been a while.”
Kim Sol was seated on the floor, reading a book as if he had made himself comfortable there. The unexpected encounter made Lim Haeyul stiffen. When he was staying at Cha Jae-woo’s house, Kim Sol’s presence had certainly been a comfort. But now, it wasn’t.
Now, it was uncomfortable. After all, Kim Sol had used him, too.
And surely, Kim Sol must know that. Yet the smile he wore as he looked at Haeyul remained disturbingly unaffected.
“What are you looking for?”
“…Nothing, really.”
Since they weren’t close enough anymore to share every little thing, Lim Haeyul gave a vague answer. Kim Sol simply nodded at the brush-off. Haeyul stared at him a moment longer, then turned his head back to scanning the book titles. Even if Kim Sol made him uncomfortable, now that he was here, he wanted to accomplish what he had come for.
“……”
With nothing else to say, Haeyul focused on the shelves. He had to look over the titles one by one since he had no idea if the book he was looking for would even be here.
“Hey.”
In that sense, Kim Sol was proving to be more of a hindrance than a help.
Haeyul had thought he would leave him alone, but Kim Sol struck up a conversation, making him feel even more burdened.
“Want to take a look at this?”
Kim Sol, oblivious to his discomfort, stood up and held out a book he had been reading. When Haeyul just stared at him blankly, unsure of what was going on, Kim Sol went so far as to grab his hand and place the book in it.
“Feels like this might be what you’re looking for.”
At Kim Sol’s unruffled voice, Haeyul lowered his gaze to the book. The title Research on Imprinting immediately made his brows knit together.
Imprinting? Why would Kim Sol give him this?
“Just read it. Especially this part.”
Before Haeyul could even ask, Kim Sol opened the book to a specific page.
“You know what I’m looking for?”
Haeyul asked, fixing Kim Sol with a direct stare, without even glancing at the book. Kim Sol answered with a lifted corner of his mouth.
“I don’t.”
It was a baffling response.
“I just thought… maybe the reason you showed up at this exact time is because you’re curious about the same thing I was.”
“……”
“Even if I’m wrong, handing you a book doesn’t cause any harm, right?”
Kim Sol rubbed his ear. His normally rational tone wavered strangely toward the end. His gaze, which had been meeting Haeyul’s, faltered and dropped away.
Haeyul said nothing, still holding the book. After a long pause, it was Kim Sol who spoke first.
“Sorry… Umm, did I already apologize before? I don’t remember. Anyway, for a lot of things… I’m sorry.”
Once again, Haeyul couldn’t find anything to say. He hadn’t thought he needed an apology, but hearing it now, he couldn’t bring himself to say it was okay.
“I never meant to use you. I wasn’t trying to deceive you, either. I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but…”
Kim Sol opened his mouth as if to say more, but ultimately clamped it shut. Haeyul didn’t push him. Whether it was because he thought it would sound like an excuse, or because his pride wouldn’t allow it, Haeyul had no intention of prodding someone who chose not to speak further.
“Well, I’ll head out first.”
Patting Haeyul lightly on the shoulder, Kim Sol passed by him and left. Haeyul never said a word in response. He was just left with a bitter taste in his mouth.
It wasn’t until quite a while after Kim Sol had gone that Haeyul finally looked at the book he had been handed. He had liked Kim Sol—because they were both Guides, because Kim Sol had helped him, and even beyond that, simply as a person. Because of that, it took him a long time to calm the discomfort churning in his chest.
“……”
Leaning against the bookshelf, he opened the book. There was no reason he had to listen to Kim Sol, but there must have been a reason he went out of his way to hand it over. Starting from the page Kim Sol indicated, Haeyul skimmed slowly. Part of it was also genuine curiosity about the book itself.
Imprinting.
It was a word he had never heard before. The book, which seemed to have been published quite a long time ago, bore little sign of having been handled often.
Until he noticed that, Haeyul didn’t think much of it. He was reading absentmindedly—until his eyes caught a particular line that made him freeze.
“…When an Esper imprints on a Guide, a common symptom observed is that the Guide can perceive the Esper’s emotions…”
Suddenly, he was completely absorbed in the book. Right there, it addressed the exact mystery that had brought him to the center today.
“…Luca claimed he could feel Agnes’s emotions entirely through her energy waves. So acutely that he often mistook them for his own, emphasizing that it wasn’t just a matter of distinguishing simple feelings like joy, anger, sorrow, or pleasure…”
“What the hell does this mean…”
Haeyul flipped back to the previous pages. He could sense Cha Jae-woo’s emotions through his waves, too. Not just basic emotions like happiness, sadness, or anger—but subtle feelings like melancholy, longing, the faint joy blossoming from small hopes, and the disappointment that followed. He could understand them all.
Because he had felt them so vividly, he had believed it was all an elaborate act. But this book was suggesting something different. What was this imprinting they were talking about?
He hurriedly flipped back to the beginning, assuming there must be a general explanation of imprinting there. His fingers moved in a rush, flipping page after page.
“Ah!”
Was it because he was too hasty? A sharp pain pricked his thumb—he had gotten a paper cut while turning the pages.
With an irritated scowl, Haeyul clenched his fist. It was just his finger that was cut, but somehow a chill ran down the back of his neck, making him uneasy.
“Imprinting among Espers is an unfamiliar concept. I fully expect my research to be dismissed as nonsense even among the Ability Association. However, Espers do imprint on Guides. Through imprinting, they express their love for their chosen Guide. They define a single Guide as the only one necessary to them.”
Haeyul tucked his bleeding finger into his palm and bit his lower lip hard. His heart was pounding uncontrollably, as if he might blurt something out at any moment.
“The life of an Esper is dynamic from birth to death. So is their love. For an Esper, love is a ticking time bomb that could explode at any moment.”
“When an Esper falls in love with a Guide, they unconsciously expose everything about themselves. I have chosen to call this phenomenon ‘imprinting’—because, in that moment, one Guide is forever engraved onto the Esper’s soul. From the moment of imprinting, the Guide can perceive everything about that Esper.”
“An Esper who loves only one Guide… Does it sound romantic? Even now, knowing that imprinting has no effect on the Guide themselves, do you still think it’s beautiful? Even knowing that if the Guide leaves, the Esper will die an agonizing death—far worse than any ordinary berserk outburst?”
