Chapter 95
With a click, Seo-jung got out of the car. As he lifted his head, he saw a large two-story house behind high walls under the sunset-tinted sky.
The X House, which he was returning to after two days, felt somehow unfamiliar. Can I feel this way after such a short time? Seo-jung blinked slowly and then shook his head. It wasn’t the X House that had changed. It was his heart.
With this realization, their last conversation from that morning at home echoed in his ears like an auditory hallucination.
“I’ll be going now.”
Those were Cha Yoon’s first words after making what was essentially a declaration of war. Contrary to Seo-jung’s expectation that he might insist on staying, Cha Yoon stood up even before Seo-jung could ask him to leave.
Seo-jung reflexively looked up at Cha Yoon’s eye level as he stood tall. Despite his words, his face was full of regret.
“I’d like to go back together, but I know you need time to sort out your thoughts, so I won’t push it.”
Cha Yoon’s voice, which had been speaking rather calmly in an uncharacteristic manner, soon became firm.
“But don’t avoid me like before.”
“……”
“Let’s play fair, shall we?”
“I have no intention of giving you a chance…”
Seo-jung let out a light sigh at the sight of Cha Yoon unilaterally starting a fight without the other party’s consent. He opened his mouth as if to protest, but Cha Yoon quickly cut him off, as if anticipating what he was going to say.
“Then I’ll go ahead and wait for you.”
Come quickly, I think I’ll miss you. As if he had lost all inhibitions after revealing his feelings, Cha Yoon easily said such things and headed for the entrance. Seo-jung once again took in the sight of Cha Yoon’s back as he walked towards the door.
That back view was no longer sad, nor did it remind him of their farewell. It was a completely different impression from when he saw Cha Yoon leaving this place for the first time. As he was blinking at the feeling that everything had completely changed in less than an hour, it happened.
“Ah, right.” Cha Yoon suddenly stopped and turned around.
“You said earlier that it was all because it was my first time with a man.”
“……”
“But it’s not just my first time with a man.”
Wondering what he meant, Seo-jung found himself listening intently to Cha Yoon’s words. Seeing Seo-jung focused on him, Cha Yoon raised the corners of his mouth.
“You took my first time, period.”
Just in case you misunderstood something. Well, I’m really going now.
As if that was really all he had to say, Cha Yoon left the house without lingering. Soon, the front door opened and closed. With a bang, Seo-jung woke from his thoughts.
“…What are you doing, Ki Seo-jung.”
Regardless of his will, Cha Yoon’s last words kept echoing in his ears. Why on earth did Cha Yoon say such unnecessary things that weren’t even asked… Seo-jung sighed deeply once again.
“And if you think about it, it wasn’t really the first time either.”
Seo-jung muttered quietly. Of course, it was true that he was surprised by what Cha Yoon had said a few hours ago. Thanks to the past Cha Yoon revealing a story he had kept hidden for 7 years, he learned that they had been each other’s first.
But apart from that, there was a clear error in Cha Yoon’s words. Although his mind had returned to when he was twenty-two, his body was still twenty-nine. After mixing bodies countless times with that body over seven years, it didn’t make sense to talk about it being the first time now.
Why am I dwelling on this? Seo-jung, who had been mentally rebutting Cha Yoon’s words, shook his head slightly as if to shake off the distracting thoughts.
He took in the sight of the X House once more. It was where he should have returned in the first place. After all, he still had things to finish here. So his coming to the X House had nothing to do with what Cha Yoon had said, he thought of this excuse that no one had asked for, and then frowned.
Cutting off his thoughts, Seo-jung took a deep breath. Today marked the second week of his participation in this program. It meant they were already halfway through. So for the remaining two weeks, no matter what Cha Yoon did, he just had to do well on his part, he told himself. Just run straight ahead without wavering. With this resolve, Seo-jung pushed open the main gate and stepped inside.
As he passed through the garden and opened the front door, the voices of bustling people flowed through the hallway. From now on, he needed to manage his expression. Seo-jung put on his usual smile and walked down the hallway.
“I’m back.”
“Oh, Seo-jung oppa!”
“Hyung!”
Sae-young was the first to react to Seo-jung’s pleasant voice. She, who had been playing a board game with Soo-ho in the living room, stood up immediately. As a result, the precariously balanced Jenga tower collapsed, but neither of them showed any regret.
“Seo-jung hyung, why are you so late? I’ve missed you so much.”
“Oppa, have you been working all this time until now?”
“Not all the time, my schedule changed a bit and there was a company dinner yesterday, so that’s how it turned out.”
“I thought your face looked worn out, so it was because you couldn’t sleep.”
“Really? Sae-young told me to take good care of my face.”
“This is a problem.” When Seo-jung responded with a light joke, Sae-young shook her head, saying she couldn’t believe he actually took those words seriously. At the somewhat noisy conversation of the three, the cast members who were in their rooms and the kitchen began to gather in the living room one by one.
“Seo-jung hyung is back?”
“I almost forgot your face, Seo-jung.”
“What, when did Seo-jung oppa arrive!”
“I just came in now.”
The cast members welcomed Seo-jung with happy faces. As Seo-jung was naturally nodding and responding to each of their greetings, it happened.
“You’re back, hyung.”
At that moment, a low, familiar voice pierced his ears. Seo-jung hesitated and looked towards the source of the sound. Sure enough, Cha Yoon was standing there.
“I’ve been waiting.”
“……”
At the same time, Cha Yoon’s last words from home brushed his ears again. Seo-jung clenched his fist. He wanted to say something nonchalantly, just as he had to the others. He wanted to show that Cha Yoon’s words didn’t cause any emotional response in him.
But for some reason, his voice wouldn’t come out, as if his throat was blocked. Even though he knew he should respond to Cha Yoon’s words, his mouth wouldn’t open.
The time their gazes met grew longer and longer. Just as he was starting to feel nervousness creeping up his spine, it happened.
“So did you sleep at the company all this time?”
“Ah, no. I went home and slept yesterday.”
At that moment, Min-ha’s voice came like a savior. Quickly shifting his gaze, Seo-jung saw Min-ha with a worried expression. Seo-jung quickly erased the stiff expression he had been wearing until just now and produced a gentle smile. He could feel Cha Yoon’s gaze on the side of his face, but Seo-jung’s eyes stubbornly focused only on Min-ha.
With so many people, the conversation had become quite long even though they had only exchanged a word or two. Cha Yoon, who had been quietly watching Seo-jung stuck in the midst of people without even having changed his clothes, moved. He naturally stood in front of Seo-jung. It was as if he was protecting Seo-jung from the people.
“This isn’t a reunion of separated families, how long are you going to keep greeting? Stop overdoing it and making the person tired, everyone disperse now.”
Cha Yoon’s words mentioning separated families were the most exaggerated, but the kind cast members gave the reaction he wanted without complaint.
“Oh, is that so? I was so happy to see Seo-jung oppa that I didn’t think he might be tired.”
“Then let’s leave Seo-jung to change his clothes.”
“Yes, yes.”
As the nodding cast members made way for Seo-jung to go upstairs, space finally opened up for him to pass.
“Soo-ho, want to play another round?”
“Sure! Min-wook hyung, do you want to join us?”
“What are you playing? Oh, there was Jenga in the house? Nice. How about a team game with Joo-ah too?”
“Me too? Alright, it’s been a while since I’ve shown my skills, why not.”
As the greetings with the returned Seo-jung came to an end, the cast members began to disperse in small groups. The last to remain was, of course, Cha Yoon.
Cha Yoon stood there as if he still had business to attend to. As Seo-jung was about to head towards the stairs, pretending not to see him, Cha Yoon stepped forward.
“You haven’t had dinner yet, right?”
“I ate.”
The lie came out of his mouth without even time to think. Cha Yoon stared at Seo-jung as if trying to determine whether his words were true or false. And soon, his suspicious gaze turned to certainty.
“It’s obvious you haven’t eaten, what are you talking about.”
“……”
“Stop lying. Why do it when you’ll get caught anyway?”
“Then why did you ask if you weren’t going to believe me anyway?”
When Seo-jung threw back the words he had heard, Cha Yoon started with “Well,” and then said:
“I just wanted to talk with you.”
“……”
“We’ve been apart for hours before seeing each other again.”
It was a statement that was difficult to respond to. As Seo-jung stood silently with his mouth closed, Cha Yoon shrugged as if he had expected this.
“Dinner is almost ready.”
“……”
“Let’s eat together now, since you couldn’t eat at home.”
The eyes he met seemed to say ‘You understand, right?’ Although he knew Cha Yoon was waiting for an answer, Seo-jung turned around without a word.
He could feel Cha Yoon’s gaze on his back, but Seo-jung disappeared upstairs without looking back even once. Cha Yoon followed Seo-jung’s retreating figure with his eyes, and only after he had completely disappeared from view did he move towards the kitchen.
With a click, the door closed. Seo-jung, who had entered the room, leaned his back against the closed door.
It was true that he had been tense at Cha Yoon’s request for a chance. The memory-lost Cha Yoon was always reckless and acted according to his own feelings as if it were natural.
That was also why he had steeled himself in front of the main gate, thinking that he just needed to do well. He thought Cha Yoon would be eager to express his feelings without considering the position of the person on the receiving end. So he believed that not reacting to whatever Cha Yoon said was the best course of action. It meant not giving any unnecessary excuses to Cha Yoon, who might do anything.
But Cha Yoon’s behavior when they met again at the X House was quite different from what he had expected.
Seo-jung had imagined worst-case scenarios like Cha Yoon kissing him in front of all the cast members or revealing that they were ex-lovers. While others might have been shocked, these actions wouldn’t have been out of character for the Cha Yoon he had experienced in the X House.
But perhaps thanks to imagining the worst of the worst, Cha Yoon’s actual behavior was very sensible compared to his imagination. However, he couldn’t let his guard down. There was no telling when or what might cause him to suddenly change.
Don’t let your guard down. With this resolve, Seo-jung entered the dressing room.
