43.
If there were clear answers and standard methods for human relationships, Ryu Ho-yeon wished someone would just plainly explain them to him. Having grown up without ever experiencing childish quarrels like fighting over snacks with peers, this awkward waste of energy was too great a challenge and stress for him.
The awkwardness made it tiring, being tired made him want to avoid seeing her, and seeing her less made things even more awkward… For the past two years, the relationship between the Lab Director and Ryu Ho-yeon had been an endless cycle of negative reinforcement. It was only because the Lab Director, with her extensive social experience, didn’t show her own hurt feelings that they barely maintained this precarious atmosphere, like paper on the verge of tearing.
“Hmm…”
“…”
Watching her son awkwardly rolling his eyes, having grown up so much, the Lab Director still didn’t regret her choices, but vaguely thought there might have been better options.
“Hyung! I’ve returned everything. Let’s go now.”
The anxious tension filling Ryu Ho-yeon’s face instantly transformed at the sound of Choi Jae-won’s voice from behind. Though he wasn’t consciously aware of it, it was glaringly obvious that he felt more comfortable with his Guide, who had been by his side all this time, than with his own mother who had painfully given birth to him.
While Ryu Ho-yeon was giving his verbal report, Choi Jae-won had been returning various books and file bundles to the archives on his behalf. He naturally approached where the Lab Director and Ryu Ho-yeon were standing and casually greeted her, saying, “Oh, the Director is here too.”
“I thought you were busy, what brings you here?”
Do people who live together pick up each other’s speech patterns? Or were they both just naturally impertinent? The Lab Director found it a difficult question to answer as she calmly nodded. Hiding her true feelings and displaying a benevolent smile was always her specialty.
“Yes. It’s been a while, Jae-won. I have a long business trip coming up, so I came to have at least one meal with my son before leaving. And I heard you just cleared the dungeon.”
“Ah, I see. But you’ve always gone on long business trips. Is this one different? Where are you going?”
“They’re in absolute chaos trying to find someone to send.”
“No way.”
The lamentable thing was that even she felt more at ease when the three of them were together, including Choi Jae-won, who somehow seemed gratuitously annoying (though rationally speaking, he was clearly the greatest benefactor she could ever find in this world), rather than being alone with her son.
“I’ve agreed to do some work with the Agency for Defense Development, so I’ll need to go down to the provinces for about two months. But since it’s a security-related issue, they say I need to maintain confidentiality throughout the trip. I won’t be able to make or receive calls, apparently.”
“Come on. Two months is nothing. So you came to have a meal with Hoyveon-hyung?”
“Yes.”
The Lab Director answered nonchalantly while glancing sideways to check her son’s expression. Since Choi Jae-won’s arrival, her son’s complexion had improved, though he was unconsciously fidgeting with his Guide’s clothes, endlessly crumpling the fabric.
Seeing that sight, her eyes suddenly became hot with emotion.
In his young childhood days, he would hover around her busy schedule, always reading her mood. When she had to leave for work, unable to hold her back, Ryu Ho-yeon would fidget with her skirt just like this, over and over.
After being firmly rejected several times, he had forgotten how to plead, asking if she could stay with him, just for a little while, just one more day—these were his silent protests. How could she not have noticed? Still, the Lab Director often hurriedly left for her lab, pretending not to see her son’s behavior.
Even now, she didn’t think it was a major problem for a busy caregiver to be unable to thoroughly attend to a young child. However, that only applied to children who could grow up in typical, average environments.
For the young Ryu Ho-yeon who had only her to emotionally connect with, living practically caged… her once adorable son… she should have paid more attention to him back then.
“Ahem, hmm. If you’re both tired from just getting back, I understand.”
The Lab Director cleared her choked-up throat with forced coughs and hastily made excuses. Looking at Ryu Ho-yeon’s reaction, she understood clearly. He didn’t want to be alone with his awkward parent, separated from Choi Jae-won.
She didn’t want to push the situation in a direction her son didn’t want just to satisfy her own desires. Though Ryu Ho-yeon might not realize it, the Lab Director had already done that plenty.
As she was about to turn and leave, this time Choi Jae-won stopped her. Despite being the one who called out to her, he wore a somewhat dissatisfied expression.
“Um, Director… if it’s alright, could I join you two for your cozy mother-son meal?”
That’s when it happened. Without the Director noticing, Ryu Ho-yeon jabbed Choi Jae-won in the side once more. Then, with a voice stretching like a malfunctioning tape recorder, Choi Jae-won added:
“Of course, I’ll pay…”
“Oh my, that would be wonderful!”
Overcome with emotion, the Lab Director didn’t notice anything. Ryu Ho-yeon secretly let out a sigh of relief, while Choi Jae-won, who had been excited about the prospect of guiding the moment they crossed the threshold of their quarters, couldn’t hide his disappointment.
* * *
“Thanks for earlier.”
Sprawled lazily on the sofa, Ryu Ho-yeon mumbled in a small, passing voice.
“It’s nothing. As long as you’re satisfied, that’s all that matters.”
Choi Jae-won sat roughly in front of the sofa where Ryu Ho-yeon was stretched out, examining the state of the ornamental plants that had dried up during their mission. He answered calmly without deliberately averting his gaze.
For Choi Jae-won, it wasn’t entirely a losing deal. He was able to faithfully accomplish what he had originally planned as soon as they returned from receiving a neat dinner at the high-class traditional restaurant the Lab Director had reserved in advance. Plus, Ryu Ho-yeon’s cooperation, feeling grateful, was much more active than usual.
Ryu Ho-yeon, who didn’t hesitate to be bold during intense contact guiding to the point of surprising Choi Jae-won, unexpectedly acted surprisingly vulnerable in these situations. Small acts of sincerity or consideration that gently tickled the heart.
Just as the Lab Director knew her son well, her son also knew his mother too well after observing her his entire life. Although she tried to hide it, the Lab Director earlier looked like she might burst into tears at any moment.
Startled by this, Ryu Ho-yeon had repeatedly jabbed Choi Jae-won in the side as if pressing a chance button. No, perhaps “genie in a lamp” would be more appropriate. In any case, whenever Ryu Ho-yeon felt troubled and jabbed Choi Jae-won in the side, somehow most situations were resolved.
It was just awkwardness, and he simply hadn’t yet acquired the methods or courage to overcome that awkwardness—it wasn’t that he resented or avoided her.
Today, with Choi Jae-won serving as a buffer zone, the atmosphere hadn’t frozen over throughout the meal. As if Choi Jae-won were just a convenient tool, Ryu Ho-yeon made an ambitious plan to continue meeting as a trio like this until the awkwardness completely disappeared. He didn’t ask for Choi Jae-won’s opinion, but it didn’t matter. He was a foolish man who seemed desperate to throw himself into pain even when begged not to, so no matter what Ryu Ho-yeon suggested, he would nod with a beaming smile.
‘I guess he really does have… some unusual preferences.’
Ryu Ho-yeon thought, watching Choi Jae-won’s back as he busily examined each of those plants whose names Ryu Ho-yeon didn’t even know. For some reason, Choi Jae-won seemed happier the more carelessly Ryu Ho-yeon treated him.
Choi Jae-won’s tendencies were mostly influenced by Ryu Ho-yeon’s excessively personal and extremely exclusive lifestyle during his early admission, but Ryu Ho-yeon never realized this. Who wouldn’t be happy when someone who used to ask why they needed to eat together while living in the same house, claiming it was uncomfortable and they should eat separately, now comes with a straight face saying “I made ramen” after a few years? (That’s what only Choi Jae-won thought. Indeed, excessive one-sided love certainly causes some mental and physical harm.)
“Yaaaawwwn…”
“Tired?”
“Yeah…”
“Sleep comfortably. I’ll move you properly.”
“Yeah…”
The only disappointing thing was that he still hadn’t overcome all the high hurdles Ryu Ho-yeon had set up.
“Move me, then go sleep in your own room. I don’t like being crowded…”
“…”
“Hmm?”
“Yes, hyung…”
Choi Jae-won was still, even now, unable to escape having separate rooms.
