#75
Sniffling, I stared blankly at hyung with a bewildered face. I couldn’t understand what Saheon hyung was saying at first.
Dating? Who? Us?
“…Dating? Who…?” I mumbled in a still muffled voice. My vocal cords were still wet. It felt like a million question marks were floating in my head.
The idea that I was dating hyung didn’t make sense to me. As I stared at him blankly with tears hanging in my eyes, Saheon hyung frowned and raised one eyebrow.
“Who else? You and me.”
My reddened eyes widened gradually. His large hand that had been wandering in the air carelessly brushed through his hair. The space between hyung’s eyebrows was wrinkled with complexity.
I opened my eyes wide in shock at the very surprising news that I was dating hyung. Since when? Saheon hyung’s expression wasn’t much different from mine.
“Don’t tell me you… didn’t know until now…?”
“…No, but…”
“Really?”
Saheon hyung’s voice rose. I flinched as if I had done something wrong. My hands naturally came together politely. Saheon hyung had completely raised his back that had been leaning against the bed headboard. His shocked voice asked again.
“Really?”
At the sound that somehow seemed desperate, I couldn’t lift my head. In my mind, I was trying to pinpoint exactly when Saheon hyung and I had started dating.
But no matter how much I went through the memories I had with hyung, there was nothing that could be called that. As I continued to remain silent, Saheon hyung muttered in bewilderment.
“I’ve been counting the days because these days young kids celebrate anniversaries… No, Lee Cheongmyeong, you!”
Saheon hyung, who had raised his voice at the end, let out a deep sigh. With each sigh from hyung, I felt like my face was being scraped away. I quietly glanced at hyung. Saheon hyung, unable to gather his messy emotions, sighed once again when our eyes met. My heart pounded with anxiety.
“Starting from wanting to break up, I wondered what was going on. Adultery, girlfriend…”
Saheon hyung’s voice, which had been continuing as if it was ridiculous, gradually became quieter and eventually turned into a sigh. Somehow, I felt like I should apologize, but I had something to say too.
“You never asked me to date you, hyung.”
“You confessed!”
As his voice rose, I flinched my shoulders once again. Saheon hyung gritted his teeth and continued in a deliberately lowered voice, almost whispering.
“You confessed several times. And I said yes.”
My lips parted blankly. The phrase “confessed several times” filled my head with even more confusion. Apart from the confession in the cold winter between sixteen and seventeen, I had no memory of it.
“…When?”
Saheon hyung looked dazed for a moment as if he had been hit on the back of the head, opening and closing his mouth a few times, then seemed to realize the situation he was in and despaired. With a groan, he buried his head completely in the blanket, and I had to watch him anxiously.
“Really? You really don’t remember? At my age, thinking I was dating alone…”
“No, no, no…”
“Wow… So you’ve been having sex with someone you’re not even dating? How… how have you been thinking of me all this time, huh? You rascal, you mutt!”
Despite my flustered attempts to explain, Saheon hyung showed no signs of calming down. Once his thoughts were ignited, they seemed to spread like a fuse setting off fireworks.
“You confessed when you were a baby, and when you became an adult, you got drunk and tried to seduce me to eat you up, which I barely resisted, and the third time you completely shattered my reason, and even after I said yes, you kept saying you like me, love me, and I said I like you and love you too, and now you’re saying you didn’t know we were dating?”
“That…”
“No, no. Let’s say you didn’t know we were dating. All this time I’ve been telling you I like you, that you’re pretty. Didn’t you even notice that I like you?”
“I…”
“Wait. If you didn’t know that, are there a lot of people around you saying they like you? Choi Hyun-dol? Does Choi Hyun-gu tell you you’re pretty?”
Saheon hyung suddenly started making assumptions. I shook my head quickly, so much that it made me dizzy. Hyung had a tendency to keep trying to involve my friend Choi Hyun-oh. I hurriedly explained in a small voice.
“No. No. And Hyun-oh… I mean, sorry, but… I really don’t remember…”
This time, Saheon hyung seemed to be at a loss for words. Suddenly, everything went quiet. Taking advantage of this silence, I continued my explanation in a mumbling voice.
“What happened in high school… I was rejected then, and after that, it just… happened naturally. There was no talk of dating, no ‘today is day one’, just continuing to have sex…”
As I spoke about the frustrating points, I started to feel more and more wronged. I had no memory of confessing to hyung, but if I had really confessed to him, couldn’t he have given me some kind of hint afterwards?
As I looked at hyung with a sullen face, Saheon hyung’s large hands firmly gripped both of my cheeks. My lips puckered forward. After playing with my cheeks for a while with a mischievous look on his face, Saheon hyung wiped the playful expression off his fish-like face.
“Cheongmyeong.”
With the playful look gone, hyung’s face was full of sincerity. Lowering his head slightly to meet my eyes, Saheon hyung spoke earnestly, but with intensity.
“Do you think I wouldn’t have seriously thought about developing this kind of relationship with the baby I’ve been carrying on my back since you were little? How have you been seeing me all this time?”
I had seen him as unprocessable nuclear waste. But I knew enough not to tell the truth in this situation. I threw a sharp glance at hyung with my lips still pouting rebelliously. Saheon hyung, who was holding my cheeks, gently applied pressure and shook my head from side to side.
“How did you see me, as trash?”
Because he spoke while still shaking my head left and right, it somehow ended up looking like a denial. Without knowing the depths of my heart, one corner of Saheon hyung’s mouth lifted.
After making me shake my head until he was satisfied, this time he asked subtly,
“Or, did you see me as your boyfriend?”
This time, Saheon hyung’s hand movement changed course. He made me move up and down as if nodding, and I rebelled slightly.
“No way.”
“Don’t wanna.”
Saheon hyung mischievously imitated my muffled pronunciation caused by him pressing my lips. When I glared at him, the corners of his mouth curved playfully.
Suddenly, my body swayed backward. It was because Saheon hyung had suddenly pulled me into a tight hug. The bed mattress rippled, and I ended up pinned under hyung. My heart beat rapidly, startled by the sudden attack.
Saheon hyung supported me stably. His eyes looking down at me were clearly visible in the backlight. I felt my skin flushing red.
“So, you didn’t know you were dating hyung. Did you think hyung had a girlfriend? That you were committing adultery?”
I rebelled with my expression. However, what could be read from my expression was also affirmation. Saheon hyung laughed softly. He briefly kissed my eyes, which were red and swollen from tears.
“Hm? Baby.”
“…When you picked me up at the airport today… you said you had a girlfriend nine years younger.”
I grumbled in a still grumpy voice. Saheon hyung let out another laugh as if he found it ridiculous. He shook his head and whispered languidly.
“Oh my, I thought I couldn’t say I was dating a kid eleven years younger, so I reduced it a bit, and this is how it turns out.”
The skin where we touched was hot. Saheon hyung kissed my forehead once more, briefly, where my bangs had become disheveled. I picked at his words with a sullen face.
“Why didn’t you tell the truth?”
“I’m sorry. From now on, I’ll go around saying I’m dating a baby who just turned twenty that I’ve been carrying on my back. And I’ll probably get a mouthful of curses.”
My nose was lightly pinched. I slightly furrowed my brow. Saheon hyung, looking down at me, smiled, curling the corners of his mouth slightly. I still frowned and asked suspiciously in a nasal voice.
“…You really don’t have a girlfriend?”
“I don’t. I don’t. I only have you.”
The firm confirmation made my chest flutter strangely. It was ticklish, and it also felt like being caressed with a feather. Thinking I shouldn’t show how much I liked it, I deliberately pressed my lips, which somehow made me look prim.
“You’re not two-timing?”
“I’m not, I told you. You keep doubting hyung. You need to be punished.”
Saheon hyung scolded in a deliberately stern voice. My nose, which had been pinched painlessly, was released. Saheon hyung’s hand naturally cupped my cheek.
“I’m going to kiss you, so close your eyes quickly.”
With this obvious warning, a slow kiss descended. After firmly pressing against my lips as if stamping a seal, hyung slowly pulled away with a playful smacking sound. Seeing that I had kept my eyes wide open from start to finish, Saheon hyung chuckled softly.
“Tsk, not listening.”
“…Hyung needs to be punished too.”
“Hm? Hyung too?”
“You didn’t tell me we were dating, didn’t say ‘today is day one’. You lied about having a girlfriend nine years younger. Seeing how we’ve been meeting promiscuously until now, of course I thought that way.”
I chattered grumpily. It suddenly seemed ridiculous that Saheon hyung, who had been through the same situation, thought it was obvious we were dating, while I had been looking for evidence that it was okay to confess this time. Saheon hyung touched our noses together, then smiled slightly and answered.
“You’re right. Hyung was wrong.”
“Right?”
“Then Cheongmyeong should kiss hyung as punishment too.”
I’m not sure why all conclusions flow in hyung’s favor, but I also liked kissing hyung, so I obediently complied. There was a faint sound of thin membranes colliding.
The kiss that separated with a light smacking sound led to a deep kiss after a few nuzzles. I had to suppress a pitiful moan, closing my eyes at the sensation of softly and sweetly exploring my mouth.
As our slippery tongues naturally intertwined, creating a familiar but always erotic pleasure, I watched with somewhat regretful eyes as our lips parted.
“Our baby.”
It was a nickname that made me tingle just hearing it. I tried to hide my embarrassment with a sullen expression.
“I…”
The lowered voice made the back of my neck tingle. Unrefined rough breaths touched my skin. Saheon hyung slightly curled the corners of his mouth and continued speaking.
“I was always anxious because I thought you were acting like that because of that message.”
“Message?”
“Looks like you don’t know. It’s fine if you don’t.”
Hyung pressed his lips firmly on mine once more, as if to block my response. However, I didn’t give up and chattered in the brief moment when our lips parted.
“What kind of message?”
“A message I hope you never know about for the rest of your life. Now let’s just kiss. Open your mouth.”
Perhaps because I had always done everything hyung instructed me to do for my entire life, I found myself opening my mouth without realizing it. While I was taken aback by my own action, Saheon hyung smiled, showing his teeth.
“Should I… suck your tongue too?”
However, before I could carry out hyung’s instruction, he pressed our lips together once again. The air around us heated up. Hyung, who had been continuing the kiss gently to the degree I liked, swallowed a gloomy moan and sucked my tongue a bit more strongly before pulling away.
“Ha…”
Suddenly, Saheon hyung let out a deep sigh. I looked down with slightly sullen eyes, then looked up at hyung again.
“…Then let’s make today day one again. It’s hyung’s fault for always forgetting that Cheongmyeong is still a baby. If hyung is dating a baby… Ah, shit.”
Saheon hyung, who had been rambling quickly, finally cursed at my reddened face staring blankly at him.
Uncharacteristically flustered, Saheon hyung’s face was a bit flushed. Knowing why hyung was hesitating, I drew out a long “um” in embarrassment, but finally couldn’t hold back and mumbled softly.
“Um… but hyung, you’re… hard…?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
