#47
For a long time, Saheon hyung had to hold me tightly and soothe me without even making eye contact. It was only after I cried so much that my head started to hurt that my tears gradually stopped.
Only after surpassing the threshold of shame was I able to take in my surroundings. The sheets between my legs and around me were still damp. No matter how much I tried to turn away from reality, it was an undeniable fact that this had come from my body.
I couldn’t even understand myself. I was old enough not to wet myself, so why had I made such a mistake? Upon closer inspection, it didn’t look or smell exactly like urine, but it was still embarrassing, so I kept my mouth tightly shut.
I lowered my eyes, and even though I had a sulky expression refusing to engage in conversation, Saheon hyung kept smiling and kissing my cheek. I didn’t want to see him for the first time, especially since he seemed so attached and unwilling to let go when I was already feeling ashamed.
“Go away.”
I muttered in a hoarse voice. I had shouted too much, and my throat was sore. I was completely drained, lacking even the strength to push him away. Saheon hyung, lightly ignoring my resistance, pressed his lips against my cheek and spoke soothingly.
“You’re pretty, pretty.”
“…Go. I’m going to sleep.”
“You have to eat. Let’s go eat eel. Eel.”
I glared at him, raising the corners of my eyes sharply. He hadn’t even acknowledged my complaints about being hungry, but it seemed he had finally realized how difficult it was for me to soil the blanket.
“I’m not eating.”
It was a childish response, even to myself, but I felt wronged if I didn’t express it somehow. Hearing Saheon hyung chuckle softly, I turned my head away to show my refusal.
But no matter how stubbornly I refused to engage, he picked me up like a child and headed toward the bathroom. He washed my dirty body, changed me into fresh clothes, and took care of my red, swollen eyes and cheeks. After sitting me on the sofa and tidying up the sheets, he finally finished all the cleanup.
In the end, Saheon hyung and I left the house late at night. He approached me, still sulking, and intertwined our fingers. The firmness of the bones touching between our knuckles was a bit painful, but our clasped hands were warm.
“Are you still mad?”
He asked, sounding worried, but his tone was laced with a chuckle. I glared at him, but my eyes were so swollen that I couldn’t glare effectively. Throughout the wait for the elevator, he held my hand as if to lead me inside.
Perhaps fearing I would run away, Saheon hyung didn’t let go of my hand until the elevator doors closed. After pressing the button for the parking lot and confirming that the elevator was moving, he slowly released my hand.
Thanks to Saheon hyung moving a bit closer to me, our arms brushed against each other. His large hand naturally moved toward my cheek.
“Your face is really swollen.”
His hand, which enveloped my entire face, was warm. When I turned my head away, he brought his other hand over. As he slowly rubbed my eyes with his thumb, he muttered.
“Your eyes are really swollen too.”
“Stop it.”
“Cheeks.”
Suddenly, he said something strange and stretched my cheek. The soft flesh being pinched made my split lip hurt.
“Are you holding an acorn?”
Saheon hyung whispered with a small laugh. Who was it that made me swell up like this? When I frowned, his hand, which had been touching my cheeks, moved toward the corners of my mouth.
“You should have put some ointment on this before coming out.”
Just then, the elevator arrived with a ding. I looked at him with a face full of dissatisfaction, but he didn’t stop touching my cheeks.
Before the doors opened, Saheon hyung, still holding my cheek, pressed down hard to puff my lips out and then quickly kissed me on top of them. My heart dropped at the risky act.
I was shocked that we were doing this outside, not inside the house, and I suddenly shivered, my eyes wide open. My heart began to race with worry about what would happen if someone saw us. As I subtly turned my eyes to check for CCTV, I had no choice but to be led by Saheon hyung.
While I was still in shock, he quickly put me in the passenger seat and buckled my seatbelt before speeding off. By the time I regained my senses, we were already leaving the parking lot. I felt like it had been intentional.
As we turned onto the main road, Saheon hyung pressed a few buttons while waiting for the traffic light. Before long, my butt and back felt warm. Gripping the seatbelt tightly and staring straight ahead, I slowly turned my head toward him.
Noticing my gaze, Saheon hyung, who was focused on driving, smiled with the corners of his mouth raised. Even while I was angry with him, I couldn’t help but think that his profile looked handsome. I turned my head completely toward the window. The neighborhood I was used to seeing every day on my way to school came into view.
While waiting at a traffic light, Saheon hyung turned the steering wheel. I saw a row of officetel buildings. The building where Choi Hyun-oh lived caught my eye.
“This is where Hyun-oh lives.”
I muttered quietly, and suddenly, I was startled by the loud honking of a horn and looked at Saheon hyung. He muttered fiercely.
“Driving like shit.”
Even though he spoke as if mumbling, the emphasis on certain sounds made it sound like “shit.” There didn’t seem to be any cars cutting in, but I might have missed something, so I kept my mouth shut.
Was his invitation to eat eel genuine? Saheon hyung parked in the parking space behind the restaurant. I awkwardly stared straight ahead while gripping my seatbelt, and when I noticed his questioning gaze, I hesitated, realizing I was still sulking.
Just as I was about to put on a fierce expression again, Saheon hyung linked his arm with mine and led me into the restaurant.
It was past dinner time, so the restaurant was quiet. We took a seat by the window, and Saheon hyung ordered two servings of salt-grilled eel and one serving of marinated eel, along with a cushion.
If we needed a cushion, we could have just sat at a low table instead of a regular one, but after briefly lifting me up, he placed a soft cushion on the hard chair. I felt like I understood the meaning behind this, and my eyes naturally narrowed.
It was a kind gesture, but somehow it felt embarrassing. Even more embarrassing was that sitting on the cushion relieved the strain on my waist. My face flushed, and I gulped down cold water for no reason.
“If you drink too much, you’ll wet yourself.”
“…Hyung!”
I almost choked on the water and shouted. My cheeks were burning. Even though I was angrily expressing my feelings for the first time in my life, Saheon hyung didn’t seem affected at all. As he looked at me, flustered and huffing, he playfully smiled and handed me a wet towel.
“Sorry, I misspoke. It’s because you’re full. Our Cheongmyeong.”
Both phrases were ordinary, but they felt strange to me. I felt like I had become some kind of pervert, so I pushed the cup of water far away.
Words like promiscuous, lewd, perverted, and messy floated around in my head. It seemed my mind had gone haywire. Even though I thought I shouldn’t be like this with him, the responsibility naturally shifted toward Saheon hyung.
As I absentmindedly gripped the edge of the cushion, staring at the hot grill, the pre-cooked eel was brought out. The lady wearing an apron with a liquor company logo placed the eels on the grill. As she arranged the salt-grilled eel on the left and the marinated eel on the right, she cheerfully struck up a conversation.
“Oh my, are you newlyweds?”
I widened my eyes even more than before. I hadn’t been this surprised even when I was ambushed with a kiss in the elevator. My heart raced, and the tension made my fingertips and toes tingle.
Two men together, and she called us newlyweds. Did others see me and Saheon hyung as being very close? I felt like I should get a drug test because of the sweet words that made my heart ache. Yet, somehow, I felt good.
Saheon hyung brushed off the question with a noncommittal smile. My throat moved up and down significantly. Just when I wondered when Korea had become so open, the lady spoke again.
“Did you come with your younger brother at this hour?”
Her question, accompanied by a somewhat lewd laugh, made me stare blankly at her, and I realized that Saheon hyung was also smiling similarly, which surprised me a bit.
“Of course, I should come with my younger brother. Who else would I come with?”
As I stared blankly at the two of them, I finally realized that the “newlywed” the lady mentioned referred not to me and Saheon hyung, but to Saheon hyung and a hypothetical wife.
The feeling of floating on a cloud quickly sank into the muck. My previously excited brows furrowed. The lady continued to laugh heartily and added,
“Is he your real younger brother?”
“No, he’s my neighbor’s younger brother.”
I confirmed with Saheon hyung’s words that the “newlywed couple” the lady mentioned referred to a hypothetical wife. I absentmindedly pressed my lips with my chopsticks, feeling a sharp pain from my split lip, and frowned.
The lady, dressed casually, was clearly enchanted by Saheon hyung’s tall and handsome appearance. It was a natural result, given that he was good-looking and had a charming personality, but I didn’t like it. While I looked at them with jealous eyes, their conversation continued.
“Most customers who come at this time are like that. Why did you bring your younger brother?”
“He’s too weak, so I’m trying to help him regain his strength.”
“And the customer?”
“Oh, that’s me.”
As Saheon hyung answered cheerfully, the lady laughed and placed all the remaining eels on the grill. The delicious smell wafted up, but I was still burning with jealousy. I wished she would leave quickly now that the food was all served. The lady showed no signs of leaving.
“You both are so handsome that I gave you a bit more than the usual amount. With that much, you’ll have plenty of energy tonight, right?”
The lady asked teasingly. While chewing on my chopsticks, I glared at Saheon hyung with fiery eyes. Our gazes met, and his lips curved into a refreshing smile. Saheon hyung met my gaze and chuckled.
“Actually, we’re planning to make our first child tonight.”
The lady burst into laughter, clapping her hands as if she found it hilarious. I could feel my cheeks turning bright red. Just a few hours ago, I had thought it was nonsense, but for some reason, it felt embarrassing now.
“Is she pretty?”
The lady, still laughing, asked curiously. Saheon hyung, who had been lightly smiling, momentarily closed his mouth. With a smile that only raised the corners of his lips, he continued to look at me. Just as I felt a slight tickle deep in my chest from his gaze, he finally spoke.
“Of course. She’s very pretty.”
Now my ears were burning. It was clear he was saying that to appease the lady, but somehow it felt like he was saying it to me. I absentmindedly chewed on my tongue.
“It’s newlywed. It’s newlywed. Yes, hang in there. Enjoy your meal. Should I order a bottle of bokbunja wine?”
The lady threw one last joke before leaving. In a strange and peculiar mood, I fixed my gaze on the eel that was sizzling and turning a beautiful brown. Saheon hyung, holding the tongs, quickly placed a well-cooked piece of eel on my plate.
“Eat a lot, honey.”
At his joking words, my face turned bright red, and I hurriedly put the eel he handed me into my mouth, only to burn my tongue. Tears welled up from the heat, but I awkwardly lowered my gaze and kept chewing.
After eating about three pieces of eel in a row, I glanced up at Saheon hyung. He was pushing the eel toward the edge of the grill with the tongs. While I was chewing the eel, a thought suddenly popped into my head.
Wait, are we dating?
