110.
#Match and Mismatch
Two envelopes were placed in front of Dawoon. Choi Seon-gyeom only then realized that Dawoon had also requested a test with Hayun, but he didn’t say anything. He seemed to understand the feeling of not being able to believe just the result of whether he was the biological father.
Dawoon took a deep breath while staring at the envelopes. He hesitated about which one to open first. Whichever he looked at, the result of the other would be obvious. Choi Seon-gyeom stood beside him, waiting, not rushing him to open them quickly. He seemed to know that Dawoon needed time to prepare mentally.
Slowly, Dawoon reached out and picked up the paternity test result between himself and Choi Seon-gyeom. He took the document out of the envelope, checked it, and took a short breath. It was the same content that Choi Seon-gyeom had shown him yesterday.
Dawoon lowered his gaze and quietly caught his breath. He deliberately avoided eye contact, not knowing how to face Choi Seon-gyeom yet. Having heard the result once before, there wasn’t much shock. He just couldn’t doubt anymore that it might not be true or that it might be fabricated.
The result in the other envelope was predictable. But he had to confirm it with his own eyes. Even though he could guess the content, his fingertips trembled slightly as he opened the envelope. He had to take several deep breaths, his chest heaving, as he felt suffocated even before opening it.
As he unfolded the result sheet, he first saw his and Hayun’s names written at the top. He slowly moved his eyes to check the content.
[As 3 or more out of 16 genotypes on the Y chromosome do not match, paternal lineage is not established.]
The moment he read the sentence at the very bottom, a sigh escaped him. Even though he had anticipated it, he felt an emptiness as if a huge hole had been punched in his chest.
It was truly ironic. The fact that Jeong Hayun was not related to him by blood was more shocking than Choi Seon-gyeom being his biological father. It felt like the ground was crumbling beneath his feet, realizing that the family and life he had believed in until now were all an illusion. But when he thought of Hayun, his feelings were indescribably complex.
He must have known. Hayun must have known all along that Dawoon was not his father’s biological child, that they weren’t even half-brothers. The paternal lineage test he had presented to their grandfather was proof of that. Whether he had presented a fabricated result after actually testing with Dawoon and seeing the results, or whether he had known from the beginning and had done the paternal lineage test with Haram instead, was unclear. Either way, it was shocking that Hayun had known everything all along.
“Are you okay? You look pale.”
Choi Seon-gyeom asked in a voice full of concern. Dawoon turned to look at him but couldn’t say he was fine. He wasn’t fine. He swallowed hard but still didn’t know what to say. His face reflected in the window was so devoid of color that anyone would be worried.
“Later…”
As he took a step, his body swayed. He felt dizzy the moment he moved.
“Dawoon!”
Choi Seon-gyeom exclaimed in surprise and tried to support him. But Dawoon pushed his hand away. Even though it had been revealed that he was his biological father, he still felt unfamiliar. Having lived as a stranger all his life, the word that he was genetically his father didn’t create any intimacy.
Choi Seon-gyeom didn’t try to forcefully approach him either. When Dawoon pushed him away, he easily withdrew his hand and took a step back. He seemed to understand why Dawoon wanted to maintain distance.
Dawoon took a deep breath loud enough to be audible.
“I’ll contact you later.”
He managed to utter those words along with his exhale.
“Right now… honestly, I’m confused and don’t know what to do. I’ll contact you… I’ll definitely contact you first, so please wait.”
It wasn’t that he had any plan of what to do. Honestly, he couldn’t think of anything. His mind just felt completely blank, as if in a blackout. For now, he only desperately wanted to leave this place.
Without waiting for Choi Seon-gyeom’s response, he turned around. As he took a step, the ground seemed to sway with him. Dizziness and nausea rose together, but it felt different from when he had retched after being embraced by Hayun. Even if he went to the bathroom, he didn’t feel like anything would come out. His stomach just kept churning.
“Let me take you home.”
Choi Seon-gyeom followed and stood beside him as he spoke.
“No.”
Dawoon shook his head again.
“I’ll take a taxi.”
If Hayun saw Choi Seon-gyeom dropping him off, who knows what might happen. He didn’t want to cause more trouble, as he was already interfering with Choi’s work. Above all, he didn’t want to be with Choi Seon-gyeom right now either.
Leaving Choi Seon-gyeom behind, he went out to the road and hailed a passing taxi.
“Where to?”
The taxi driver asked, but no answer came. He couldn’t… go home.
***
Although it had been hot enough to make one’s head burn during the day, a cool breeze blew as the sun set. Perhaps because of this, there were quite a few people out for a stroll along the Han River. Dawoon had been sitting in one spot for several hours, blankly staring at the Han River.
During that time, the couple sitting next to him had left at some point, groups of students in uniforms had come and gone noisily, and now it was a family with young children. He hadn’t checked how much time had passed. The sky that had been blue was now tinged with red on one side, and had completely darkened, with only the lights of the night view shimmering on the water’s surface.
His phone had rung several times, but he neither checked who the caller was nor answered. He thought about turning it off completely but decided against it, thinking Hayun or Haram might cause a fuss if he did. Then he let out a bitter laugh. Even in this situation, he found himself ridiculous for not being able to turn off his phone, worrying that Hayun might turn the place upside down thinking he had disappeared, or that Haram might cry and make a scene.
The beer can in his hand had become warm at some point. After collapsing like he had fainted while drinking with Ui-hyeon in his freshman year, he hadn’t touched alcohol since. But today, he really wanted to drink. He had bought three cans of beer from the convenience store, but had only opened this one. He couldn’t drink to his heart’s content, worried about what might happen if he collapsed after drinking.
At times like this, he found his own personality frustrating. The thought that he shouldn’t cause even the slightest inconvenience to others was deeply ingrained in him.
What’s wrong with being a little messed up, what’s wrong with being a little troublesome, what’s wrong with being a bit selfish…
There were times when feelings of rebellion would suddenly surge, but they rarely led to action. The name ‘Haedo Group’ really felt like shackles constraining Jeong Dawoon.
Even if it was just mischief that a student his age might get into, if Jeong Dawoon did it, it could become big enough news to make headlines. Even for trivial things, Jeong Dawoon shouldn’t do them. Thinking back, it was his mother who had repeated those words to him. His father, on the contrary, had always been generous, telling him to do as he pleased.
His mother must have been afraid. Afraid that he, who didn’t have a drop of Jeong Seo-hoo’s blood, might cause trouble and bring shame to Haedo Group, or that it might be revealed that he wasn’t Jeong Seo-hoo’s son and she would be driven out too.
Ha, haha…
He laughed at the futility of it all. His mother must have never had a day of peace until the moment she died. If there was any consolation, it was that Haram was born. With Haram’s birth, his mother finally found her place within Haedo Group.
But to think that his father had been unfaithful since she was pregnant with Haram… What an ironic life.
Was that why? Why his mother had been so angry and frustrated that she didn’t care if she died along with his father.
As he recalled the past, his eyes grew hot. It was truly the worst. To think that a single word from him, who wasn’t even his father’s biological child, had led to the accident.
He could understand now why Hayun had never once denied that it wasn’t his fault when he blamed himself.
Jeong Hayun must be a saint.
He, who wasn’t even Hayun’s real brother, was the cause of Hayun’s mother’s loneliness. And he had caused Hayun’s father’s death. Yet Hayun had always taken his side, and now even says he loves him.
Either a saint or a madman.
A bitter smile escaped at his own thoughts. Either way, it wasn’t normal.
‘I love you, Dawoon.’
Hayun’s voice echoed in his ear. He had thought Hayun was crazy for saying he loved him on top of having a physical relationship with his supposed brother… But if he had known from the beginning that Dawoon wasn’t his brother, his emotions made sense. Even so, Dawoon should be like an enemy to him, yet he manages to say he loves him.
The more he thought about it, the more he felt like he was floundering in a cesspool. He lifted the can he was holding to his lips. The liquid, which had lost its function as beer, having become lukewarm and flat, slid down his throat. Over the course of several hours, he had finally emptied one can.
Thump, thump. Footsteps were heard beside him, but he didn’t look up. He just reached out to take another beer from the bag when someone grabbed his wrist. Only then did he raise his head to see who it was.
“What are you doing here?”
It was Hayun. Dawoon wasn’t at all surprised to see him there. Rather, it was as if he had expected it, and a bitter laugh escaped him.
“You really came. I thought you might.”
Despite Dawoon’s seemingly sarcastic words, Hayun’s expressionless face showed no change at all.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
