“What did you mean by what you said earlier?”
“What did I say?”
“When you said that if something happened inside the Gate, you’d act like that woman’s husband.”
He’d hoped it would get brushed over, but of course not. It was only because that person had been there that Yu-won held it in for this long. Buckling his seatbelt, Rion replied.
“I meant exactly what I said. You know life insurance is included in the salaries of Espers and Guides, right?”
“I know that. But even in a crisis, shouldn’t survival come first? You talked like you were ready to stick your neck out and die right then and there.”
Of course, Rion preferred living to dying. He had to stay alive to find meaning in things, to help others, and without him, the Center would be in trouble too. That’s why he always entered a Gate with the goal of coming back alive.
“So I’m saying that if it comes to that, I’ll do what needs to be done. You think I enter a Gate planning to die? Come on, you always overreact.”
“Overreact?”
“Yeah. Think about it. Who’s the safest person inside a Gate? Me. Even if it sounds arrogant, it’s the truth. There’s no one stronger than me.”
It was true—Rion stood out even among other S-rank Espers for his exceptional ability.
Wasn’t it only natural for the strong to protect the weak? That’s how Rion had been raised, and he’d never once questioned it.
“Since I’m the strongest, obviously I should be the one protecting people. What, should I shove someone like you—who’s all looks and no real power—forward to take down a boss instead?”
Ah, damn it. He’d planned to end things on a good note today. But without even realizing it, Rion’s usual temper flared, and he spat out whatever came to mind.
Still, he didn’t think he was wrong. Like the Center Director always said—every paycheck, every bit of fulfillment he felt walking out of a Gate, all came with a price.
“Don’t talk like it’s some kind of child’s game. I’m not saying I want to die, just that if it comes down to me having to sacrifice myself, I will. No need for you to blow a fuse over it.”
“I don’t understand how someone who doesn’t even think about protecting himself thinks he’s going to save the world.”
“What?”
He was ready to end the conversation there. But Yu-won’s retort made Rion snap.
“You think what I do is some kind of joke? No, it’s not just me. That woman’s husband, me, every Esper in the Center—we all do our work while preparing for the worst-case scenario.”
“Yeah, but bracing for death and rushing toward it like you’re ready to die any second—that’s not the same thing, is it? You always act like you’ve got a death wish.”
Rion took pride in his work. Sure, people always told him to take better care of himself, but no one ever said he should stop.
But Yu-won—his own matching Guide—acted like he actually wanted Rion to quit.
Not that Rion got hurt because he wanted to.
He knew if he didn’t act, someone else might end up even more seriously injured. Watching someone get hurt when he could’ve stopped it—that was harder than taking the hit himself.
That’s why his body always moved before his brain. And while others just told him to “please take better care of yourself,” Yu-won had to make it into this long, aggravating lecture.
“You’re always trying to piss me off, aren’t you?”
“If it pisses you off, then please—for the love of god—before your body moves again, just once remember this nagging you claim to hate so much.”
The car was still cruising smoothly down the road, but the air inside was icy cold. One more word and Rion might just reach over and rip out Yu-won’s hair while he was driving.
“Do you think like that every time you enter a Gate?”
“Yeah. So what? Is that a problem?”
“It is. That sense of duty… Do you want to get trapped inside a Gate forever, just to finally escape that damned sense of responsibility?”
Thud. Rion slammed his foot on the car floor in frustration, unable to hold back his anger.
“Pull over.”
“We’re about to get on the highway.”
“We’re heading for the sky anyway. Who gives a shit about a highway?”
Yu-won sighed and pulled the car over to the shoulder. As soon as it stopped, Rion unbuckled his seatbelt, turned, and glared at him.
“I must be a goddamn idiot to think we could get along. Are you a psychopath? Is that the only thing you took away from hearing about that woman’s husband?”
“You think I’m reacting this way because I didn’t feel grateful? I just don’t get how hearing that story made you decide you should die in a Gate too.”
“Forget it. I was insane for even trying to talk to you.”
“Wait.”
Yu-won grabbed Rion’s hand just as he reached for the door. Was this… an apology? Maybe he realized he went too far. If he’s going to apologize, maybe I’ll just accept it with a sigh.
With a sliver of hope, Rion waited with his hand still on the door handle.
But what came out of Yu-won’s mouth was the last thing he expected.
“If you really don’t want to die, then at least keep getting guided regularly.”
You’re insane, Kang Rion. After all this, you still don’t get what Lee Yu-won’s like?
Rion cursed himself inwardly, yanked the car door open.
“Twice a week. I’ll show up exactly as we agreed. Don’t worry. I hope those two sessions are the only times I ever have to see your face.”
Shoving aside the last lingering shred of attachment, Rion slammed the door and got out.
He didn’t particularly like flying for non-work reasons, but if he stayed in that car one second longer, he was going to lose it and smash the whole thing.
“I swear, I am done—done expecting anything from that psycho. I’d be better off begging a monster in a Gate to show some damn empathy.”
Is that guy even human? He doesn’t seem like he’d bleed even if you stabbed him.
That day, Rion swore to never again entertain the stupid idea of getting along with Yu-won.
And from that point on, until summer fully rolled in, the two of them stuck strictly to the business of guiding.
Aside from the occasional argument, they didn’t share a single personal word.
Though, Yu-won’s insane nagging did have some effect. When Rion instinctively tried to throw himself in front of a monster, the thought of hearing that damn psycho nag him again made him hesitate.
Some people said that was a good thing—being reminded to take care of himself.
But all Rion wanted was to walk into a Gate, get hurt a little if needed, and not have to deal with Yu-won’s goddamn lectures.
Of course, that didn’t mean the nagging stopped. Every time Rion got even slightly injured, Yu-won would leap at the chance to cloak passive aggression in “concern,” and they’d fight all over again.
“It’s not like I enjoy nagging. But if I don’t say anything, you’ll just go and get yourself hurt again.”
“Are you my fucking parent now? Unbelievable. Just leave me the hell alone.”
Anytime they talked, it ended in a fight. Once, Rion got so furious that he used his ability to throw something, and Yu-won ended up getting hurt.
Rion had been shocked and sincerely apologized. After all, Guides were basically civilians, and he’d injured someone with his ability.
But then Yu-won said if that helped him feel better, he should go ahead and do it again. That set Rion off all over again, and he even found himself wondering if breaking that bastard’s leg and putting him on sick leave would be the only way to get a break from the endless nagging.
How the hell is this guy my match? There was no way the matching rate factored in mutual affection. If it did, there was no way in hell their score would be 99%.
It would’ve been better if the matching device had just malfunctioned. But no—unfortunately, the damn thing was working perfectly. And the proof? Even when he couldn’t stand the sight of Yu-won, the guiding he received from him was… too good.
“I’d rather die than ever press my lips to that guy’s again.”
Rion declared it publicly, firmly.
On the day he almost lost control from chronic guiding deficiency, he wanted to erase every memory, every sensation he’d experienced in Yu-won’s arms.
Even the 24-hour sliver of hope he’d allowed himself after that day—he didn’t want to remember that, either.
That psycho wouldn’t be able to understand anyone, not just him. The whole thing just made Rion feel like a fool.
So he committed himself to receiving guiding as dutifully as possible. Even if he couldn’t stand the sight of the guy, he showed up twice a week, sat through an hour—even if they fought the whole time—and got guided.
“Give me your hand.”
And so, their relationship plummeted to rock bottom.
“……”
Rion didn’t respond. In a Gate where snowstorms howled around them, he pulled off his glove and held out his hand to Yu-won—with a coldness that matched the icy wind.
