108.
Lee Han-seo unconsciously reached out his hand. It was an instinctive action he wasn’t even aware of. Just as to Ryu Ho-yeon, Lee Han-seo was a Guide before being a friend, to Lee Han-seo, Ryu Ho-yeon was an Esper before being a friend.
“Is it… really you? Ho-yeon, it’s you, right? It has to be.”
As if he’d lost his mind, Lee Han-seo seemed unaware of what he was saying. He just kept mumbling in a dazed voice, “It’s you, it has to be Ho-yeon.” Ryu Ho-yeon felt a pain in his chest seeing his friend like this.
Now he felt sorry too. Having saved the world and deciding to live with his identity hidden like a dead man, he finally realized he hadn’t considered the feelings of those left behind, other than Choi Jae-won.
The trembling hand was still warm, just as Ryu Ho-yeon remembered. Though it saddened him to see traces of fierce battles dotting what had once been soft, unblemished skin that knew no hardship. Still, compared to Ryu Ho-yeon’s hand covered in thick scars, it looked consistently beautiful and clean.
Lee Han-seo’s gaze, sometimes misunderstood as self-righteous, was exactly as Ryu Ho-yeon remembered. That direct look that seemed to see through people pierced through the current Ryu Ho-yeon, his bare soul stripped of all glory. Ryu Ho-yeon wanted to flee from that gaze but held himself back, partly because Lee Han-seo’s grip on his hands and wrists was growing tighter.
“Why…?”
“……”
All he felt from Lee Han-seo’s hand desperately gripping his own was just a bit of warmth. How warm that hand had once been. Ryu Ho-yeon almost forgot he was pretending to have lost his memories and nearly burst into tears.
“Why can’t I guide you? Why?”
Lee Han-seo mumbled desolately.
“It’s definitely you, no mistake. It’s Ho-yeon. You’re definitely my friend Ryu Ho-yeon.”
His mumbling voice gradually became tearful. But nothing changed. Ryu Ho-yeon, no longer an Esper, could not receive guiding from anyone.
Nine full years since Ryu Ho-yeon disappeared. Lee Han-seo and Park Woo-jun, once twenty-nine, were now thirty-eight. Despite their age, Lee Han-seo’s whining voice sounded almost like an eight or nine-year-old child. Just like when he first met Ryu Ho-yeon.
Ryu Ho-yeon was the first Esper that Lee Han-seo, identified as a Guide at age seven, had ever guided. Bound as provisional pairs, they had stuck together like one body from age eight to twenty. Except for Park Woo-jun, he was still the Esper Lee Han-seo had guided the most.
So he should be able to match Ryu Ho-yeon’s unique wavelength even with his eyes closed. But something was strange. No matter how much guiding he poured out, it just bounced back, reflecting without being absorbed at all. It felt distinctly different from when an Esper was in a full guiding state.
Finally, unable to watch any longer, Park Woo-jun quietly stepped forward. Embracing the sobbing Lee Han-seo’s shoulders, he said soothingly, “Han-seo.”
Over the years, similar incidents had happened a few times. Even though he seemed fine and to have forgotten everything, whenever Lee Han-seo accidentally encountered someone resembling Ryu Ho-yeon, he would freeze as if broken.
The difference was that among all those futile searches, never had there been someone who looked less like Ryu Ho-yeon than this person. And it was also the first time Lee Han-seo had immediately grabbed someone’s hand and tried to guide them.
But perhaps, Park Woo-jun subtly guessed, this person who least resembled Ryu Ho-yeon was actually Ryu Ho-yeon himself. The basis for this guess was quite simple: if it wasn’t Ryu Ho-yeon, Choi Jae-won would have no reason to hide him.
“……”
A dim light flickered in Lee Han-seo’s eyes, which had skillfully excavated traces of his hidden friend. The color was still faint. Just as Ryu Ho-yeon vividly remembered the touch of Lee Han-seo’s hand, Lee Han-seo too remembered all too well how those cloudy eyes sparkled and what color they shone.
He wanted nothing more than to say, “Han-seo, it’s me,” and embrace him, creating an unsuitable melodrama. But Ryu Ho-yeon still couldn’t speak. As long as he was pretending not to have recovered his memories, he couldn’t act like he knew Lee Han-seo.
Over Lee Han-seo and Park Woo-jun’s shoulders, he could see Choi Jae-won’s desperate eyes, still suspended in mid-air. Ryu Ho-yeon’s heart stirred more at Choi Jae-won’s expression than at Lee Han-seo’s tears.
Originally, when Lee Han-seo and Choi Jae-won were together, Ryu Ho-yeon invariably took Lee Han-seo’s side. Consciously or unconsciously, he did so. Until then, a lifelong friend had been more precious than a newly met unfamiliar Guide, and even after learning how long Choi Jae-won had loved him, he thought it didn’t matter to act selfishly since they would be together anyway.
Even so, Ryu Ho-yeon had been an excessively unfaithful lover. It was hard to believe that Choi Jae-won was still searching for Ryu Ho-yeon in a vast ocean without a single buoy.
So Ryu Ho-yeon decided to prioritize Choi Jae-won above all else from now on. It might be a belated consideration, but still.
“Han-seo, don’t cry, okay? Calm down first.”
“This is strange, Park Woo-jun. It’s definitely Ho-yeon, definitely him. Why isn’t he an Esper? It’s definitely Ho-yeon. I’m not mistaken.”
Lee Han-seo seemed almost terrified that he might be mistaken again, that perhaps there really were no traces of Ryu Ho-yeon left.
Ryu Ho-yeon took in the sight of the sniffling Lee Han-seo catching his breath and the mature Park Woo-jun comforting him.
As he remembered, it was always Park Woo-jun who would whimper irritatingly, with Lee Han-seo comforting him. It was an unfamiliar yet natural scene.
“Um…”
“…!!”
Finally, Ryu Ho-yeon opened his mouth. It was barely more than a sigh, but even that made Lee Han-seo’s shoulders tremble greatly.
Throughout all this, Ryu Ho-yeon’s attention was entirely focused on Choi Jae-won behind him. Firmly restrained by Park Woo-jun’s wind, Choi Jae-won seemed to have his mouth blocked too, his eyes wide with shock.
Ryu Ho-yeon walked past Lee Han-seo, who was frozen like a still life, and Park Woo-jun, who steadfastly supported him.
He stopped, of course, in front of Choi Jae-won.
“I’m sorry, but could you please let Jae-won hyung down first? There seems to be a misunderstanding, but he really wasn’t trying to harm me…”
Choi Jae-won, who had been in despair with his head hung low, wore an expression of disbelief when Ryu Ho-yeon, standing before Lee Han-seo, prioritized him. If Ryu Ho-yeon truly had no memories, this would be natural, but perhaps because he had never dared to think it could become reality—Ryu Ho-yeon secretly gritted his teeth. Even that felt like Choi Jae-won’s fault.
Since Choi Jae-won had so little confidence, since he didn’t believe how important he was to Ryu Ho-yeon as a lover… That must be why he made up nonsensical lies about being his brother and kept Ryu Ho-yeon confined like this.
Even with Lee Han-seo standing before him, blankly dropping tears, Ryu Ho-yeon felt endlessly sorry for Choi Jae-won behind him. Countless images flashed through his mind—of the twenty, twenty-two, and twenty-three-year-old Choi Jae-won who had always stood behind him without confidence, busy attending to him, hesitant even to honestly express his love.
“……”
“……”
Park Woo-jun, who had been carefully observing Lee Han-seo and Ryu Ho-yeon as they lost their words for different reasons and emotions, released the force binding Choi Jae-won. Choi Jae-won fell from mid-air with a loud coughing sound.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine. I’m sorry, you must have been very surprised.”
“…No.”
As soon as Choi Jae-won caught his breath, he apologized. Ryu Ho-yeon firmly shook his head, but Choi Jae-won didn’t seem to believe him.
“What’s going on here? Explain this so I can understand.”
“Hyung.”
“Choi Jae-won!”
Lee Han-seo, having lost his patience, shouted as if screaming. Choi Jae-won, hiding Ryu Ho-yeon firmly behind his back, raised his eyes fiercely. It seemed he had already figured it out, so there was no point in lying anymore… But separate from that.
“You’re right. Just as you thought, this person… is Ryu Ho-yeon.”
No one could take Ryu Ho-yeon away from Choi Jae-won.
That was his thought and determination.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
