Chapter 116
“Want to see something really funny?”
Yoo Siwoon asked meaningfully. Eunseong stared at him intently with eyes shining in anticipation, wondering what really funny thing he would show. As Eunseong watched quietly, Siwoon’s left chest, which had been half-submerged in water, suddenly rose and fell. Eunseong’s eyes widened in surprise before he burst into loud laughter.
“What is that? Do it again! Please do it again!”
Eunseong urged him excitedly. Siwoon’s lips curved into a satisfied smile at the better-than-expected reaction.
“Again, show me again! Please? Do it again!”
Siwoon, who had been still as if he wouldn’t do it again, now flexed his right pectoral muscle. The chest muscle rose and fell abruptly. When Eunseong laughed loudly, both sides of Siwoon’s chest moved up and down with a time delay, like a living creature.
“How do you do that? I want to try too!”
Eunseong frowned and grunted, trying to move his own chest, but his pectoral muscles showed no sign of twitching at all.
“That’s amazing. I want to try too. How do you do it?”
Despite putting all his strength into his face and straining, Eunseong’s chest muscles didn’t budge.
“I can’t just give away my only special talent.”
Eunseong’s laughing face, his broad smile, brightened the surroundings like a lamp.
Siwoon realized in that moment that he had wished for such laughter and smiles to spread across the face of that ten-year-old child who had once looked so empty, as if there was a hole punched through him. Eunseong’s smiling face was that pleasant to see. Siwoon felt an illusion of light seeping into his own chest.
Siwoon held Eunseong’s smiling cheek.
“Let’s hurry and finish washing. I brought tteokbokki.”
“Just one more time. Just once more.”
Siwoon’s pectoral muscles twitched again, and Eunseong’s boisterous laughter filled the bathroom.
∞ ∞ ∞
“I’ve organized the items you mentioned last time. It seems the whole process will take time, with about 30% processed so far. Regarding the bonds, you’ll need to be cautious as Chairman Yoo might find out if you settle them now.”
Director Nam placed a report on the island table—a list compiled from organizing some of Siwoon’s assets.
“Please proceed with the rest slowly.”
Siwoon was busy making something, having placed a large pot on the induction cooktop in the kitchen. Judging from the roughly cut apples, oranges, pears, and other ingredients being boiled in wine, he appeared to be making mulled wine.
“When are you planning the departure date?”
“What’s unusual today is that you’re not nagging me. Asking if I’m being a proper head of the family.”
Siwoon remarked dryly as he stirred and mixed the ingredients emitting a rich, sweet aroma.
“I was presumptuous then. But I believe you won’t just leave like this.”
“You believe? What do you believe? Don’t believe in me. I can’t even believe in myself, so why do you believe in me?”
His tone was quite cold. Director Nam knew better than anyone that Siwoon had been dedicating himself at the risk of his life, fighting for values he considered principles. It was a painful moment to witness his betrayal. Director Nam’s eyes hardened. It felt as if not only his face but also his hands and feet were stiffening.
“I didn’t know you were this kind of person.”
“Are you certain you know me well?”
“CEO.”
“You should disappear too, Director. Go wherever you want.”
“…”
“This is as far as I can go for you.”
Siwoon strained the fully boiled ingredients through a mesh. He poured the richly steeped mulled wine into a glass and handed it to Director Nam, who stood stiffly with a rigid face.
“Have a glass. It’s good for preventing colds.”
“…”
“I haven’t made it in a while, so I’m not sure if it tastes good. During my student days abroad, I used to make this whenever I felt chilly. Eunseong seems to be catching a cold.”
After giving a glance to Director Nam, who was just looking at the mulled wine without drinking it, Siwoon poured the rest into another glass. He seemed to be taking it to Eunseong.
“I thought those times when I was away from my family were when I lived most like a human, and I sometimes missed them.”
“…”
“But compared to now, it seems I wasn’t really living then. Strictly speaking, I wasn’t alive. Breathing and being alive are different matters.”
The man who had considered his time studying abroad—away from Seongha, the Yongse Pacheon Church, and the absurd prophecies and human sacrifices that occurred in this land—to be his most human period was now saying that time wasn’t living, wasn’t being alive.
Living but not life.
“You won’t understand how I feel.”
“…I’m trying to understand. It’s not that I don’t understand at all.”
Director Nam did understand his feelings. It wasn’t entirely incomprehensible.
According to the prophecy, Siwoon and Eunseong being drawn to each other was something like fate, and because they actually liked each other beyond just the response, the amplitude of those emotions was bound to be greater. Perhaps Siwoon losing his mind was an entirely natural outcome.
Siwoon was still the same person Director Nam had known. Only one thing had changed from the Siwoon he had known before: he had developed an emotion for one person that transcended concepts of desire and preciousness, approaching something like faith. Only that one thing had changed, yet everything he had built up until now was changing.
“You don’t understand, Director. That’s why you keep holding onto me. If you truly understood, you couldn’t say such things.”
He meant he neither wanted to make Director Nam understand why he had overturned his own vows like flipping his palm and become a betrayer, nor did he want understanding.
“I need to take care of Eunseong today. Handle the company matters and email me anything important.”
“…Yes, understood.”
Leaving Director Nam responding gloomily behind, Siwoon left the kitchen with the warm mulled wine.
Eunseong was sitting in bed wrapped in thick bedding, coughing slightly. Though he only had a mild fever, Siwoon wouldn’t let him take a single step out of bed. Already unable to leave Siwoon’s residence, and now not even allowed into the garden, he felt stifled and trapped, making him restless even while sick.
With a knock, the door opened and Siwoon entered. He was holding a steaming cup in his hand.
“Try drinking this. It’s the best for when you’re catching a cold.”
“What is it?”
“It’s like Europe’s ssanghwatang.”
“…I don’t like ssanghwatang.”
“Try it even if you don’t like it. It’s sweet and delicious.”
“Ssanghwatang isn’t sweet or delicious.”
“Think of it as jujube ginger tea.”
He insisted on giving the cup to the reluctant Eunseong. Eunseong took the cup and smelled its contents. It had a nice aroma. Sweet, fragrant, rich, and wine-red in color.
Still thinking of it as medicine, he frowned and carefully swallowed a sip, then immediately opened his eyes wide.
“Oh, it’s delicious. It’s like fruit juice.”
He smacked his lips as if he had eaten a sweetly dissolved candy.
“I told you it’s delicious.”
Smiling with relief, Siwoon sat by the bed and placed the back of his hand on Eunseong’s forehead, then his cheek and neck. There was a slight fever. He waited until Eunseong had finished sipping all the mulled wine, then took the empty cup and placed it on the side table.
“It’s nice and warm. European ssanghwatang.”
“Don’t you feel refreshed?”
“Is that what feeling refreshed is?”
“Something like that. Like sweat pouring out.”
Just then, Eunseong coughed intermittently with a dry cough. Siwoon’s brow furrowed seriously. Though he had already checked Eunseong’s temperature, he placed his hand on his cheek again, then his forehead, and his neck.
“I had European ssanghwatang, so I’m fine now.”
“Do you really hate calling a doctor? Even colds can be dangerous. I think it would be good to have an examination.”
Eunseong shook his head, saying he didn’t want that.
“The doctor I know won’t ask to see you with your pants down.”
“It’s not because of that, I’m really fine. It’s just a cold—I’ll be better after some sleep.”
Eunseong spoke bravely, as if to say this was hardly being sick and not to worry.
“Shall I take your cold away?”
“What?”
“I’ll take it away, then. So you can get better quickly without medicine.”
With that, he suddenly leaned forward and kissed Eunseong’s lips. Eunseong’s fine hair seeped between Siwoon’s fingers as he gently gripped the nape of his neck. Siwoon long savored Eunseong’s mouth, which still retained the sweet richness of the mulled wine, licking it satisfactorily and rubbing the flesh of his lips before slowly pulling away.
“…You’ll get better soon now.”
He whispered in a low voice. It was a prescription that would rather raise the fever. Eunseong felt a slight dizziness. After wiping his wet lips with the back of his hand and avoiding Siwoon’s gaze awkwardly, he said:
“I want to lie down. You made me dizzier.”
Squirming into the bedding and lying down, Eunseong turned his head toward Siwoon, who was looking down at him. Siwoon’s face had become even more serious. He looked ready to call a doctor right away.
“Are you feeling very unwell?”
“It’s just a cold… I’m a little low on energy, with a mild fever.”
“Have I been tormenting you too much every night?”
Eunseong’s face turned red. Because Siwoon’s words were true. Eunseong had hit his physical limit and ended up weakening his body. In bed, Siwoon was not the man who had said he was conservative and that they shouldn’t cross the line.