This was Sophia’s third year working at the Cavi Beach Restaurant. Tall and articulate, she was promoted to front desk manager earlier this year. On an ordinary Friday afternoon in early June, a regular customer, Noah, brought a young man she hadn’t seen before.
That evening, Noah hadn’t made a reservation and arrived during the busiest time, when tables were scarce. Still, as one of Sophia’s favorite customers, she managed to secure a spacious window-side sofa seat for him.
Noah had a look somewhere between boyish and youthful, lean and fair, with a face so pretty it could win awards at an Asian doll expo (if such a thing existed).
He was a unique customer, most notably because he never ate at the restaurant due to numerous allergies. He frequented the beach restaurant solely because his friend Mary loved the food—the chef was her compatriot.
Since getting his driver’s license in March, Noah drove Mary to the restaurant every Sunday evening, sat across from her, watched her enjoy a hearty meal, chatted cheerfully with everyone, and left an extremely generous tip. Every employee at Cavi Beach Restaurant adored this customer, so years later, when they saw Noah in political and financial news, heavily criticized by ethics experts, they felt dazed, unable to believe he was that kind of person.
This time, the man Noah brought was half a head taller, dressed casually, with a refined appearance that instantly inspired goodwill. Noah stayed close to him, their demeanor intimate, like relatives or perhaps lovers, piquing Sophia’s curiosity.
As she led them into the restaurant, she glanced back and noticed Noah talking nonstop to the man, who occasionally raised his hand slightly, hovering behind Noah’s shoulder to prevent him from being bumped by passersby. Noah, caught up in his animated chatter, didn’t notice.
Sophia had never seen Noah so lively, and she thought this man must be someone very important to him.
After they were seated, a server who clearly knew Li Shanqing approached and asked, “Noah, is tonight a special occasion?”
“It’s the anniversary of my first meeting with this gentleman in a year,” Li Shanqing said, immediately looking at Zhuang Xu.
Zhuang Xu didn’t bother to clarify or deny, so Li Shanqing beamed smugly and asked, “Can you prepare a celebratory cake for us?”
The server said of course, and Li Shanqing expertly ordered a few dishes he said Mary claimed were the best.
It was clear this person was thriving in Fancheng.
The local environment had given Li Shanqing rosy cheeks and longer breaths, his speech faster than before, as if showcasing that everything was fine since leaving Bingang and would only get better.
Outwardly, he’d grown significantly, now wearing a university hoodie, black sneakers, and short hair, brimming with energy. If not for his overly pale skin, slender wrists, and still weak and slow steps compared to most, first-time observers might struggle to notice how frail his body once was.
But Li Shanqing still couldn’t eat the restaurant’s food—as Zhuang Xu noticed after an afternoon together—and was far from living a normal life. Fancheng might be good for his health, but it wasn’t paradise.
For instance, that afternoon at the beach, Li Shanqing insisted on getting out of the car with Zhuang Xu to point out directions, not paying attention, and stood near a patch of flowers. Within moments, he had an asthma attack.
“Look, it’s your fault for walking here, making me flare up,” he said nonsensically, blaming Zhuang Xu while rummaging through his crossbody bag for his inhaler.
After using the asthma inhaler, within five minutes, Li Shanqing reverted to the familiar sight Zhuang Xu knew from the hospital—lonely, frail, melancholic, and reluctant.
“Zhuang Xu, my mask is in my pocket,” he said hoarsely, sounding like a command but feeling like a plea.
Originally, Zhuang Xu thought the person putting a mask on Li Shanqing or caring for him wouldn’t be him anymore. He wouldn’t be swayed excessively by Li Shanqing, as he’d changed a lot this year.
His confidence in success came from being resolute most of the time.
Over the past year, from the successful completion of clinical trials to increasingly adept negotiations with various people, Zhuang Xu swiftly secured new partnerships his father had long struggled to achieve. He was no longer a novice parachuted in due to his father’s tragedy.
Whether it was group executives or seniors and peers at banquets, no one doubted him for his youth anymore, nor did anyone dare speak of his father disrespectfully. So, before the plane landed, Zhuang Xu held this confidence.
He told himself his purpose for coming was to scout the city. He knew this excuse was flimsy but resolved to frame it that way. Li Shanqing lacked boundaries; he didn’t. And he certainly wouldn’t let Li Shanqing lean on him to rest, but reality proved otherwise.
Earlier, Zhuang Xu had been certain he’d never come to Fancheng or meet Li Shanqing again. The night of Li Shanqing’s birthday, when they didn’t meet, was a warning and revelation from God: no need to get close, no need to meet. He’d exhausted his misguided impulses.
This time, before boarding at Licheng airport, Zhuang Xu, handing his ticket to the staff, had a firm realization that if he chose, he could abandon the ticket and walk away.
Yet his steps led him to his seat, off the plane, to helping an elderly person in a wheelchair, and to the exit, where a pale, frail Li Shanqing stood holding his phone, wearing a mask.
Li Shanqing was, as ever, someone who’d cling to others without hesitation, throwing himself into Zhuang Xu’s arms. Zhuang Xu’s complex emotions were diluted by the undeniable, boundless feelings of the moment, like rain falling into a river.
Willpower lost its effect, failing to manifest smoothly.
In Fancheng for eight hours, Zhuang Xu said little; Li Shanqing said a lot.
Their usual contact wasn’t sparse, and Zhuang Xu had heard nearly everything Li Shanqing said. Zhuang Xu cut the lobster Mary loved and drank the cocktail Mary said was the best.
Only when Li Shanqing turned the conversation to Zhuang Xu did he respond with a sentence or two.
“How’s your deal with that P-starting company?” Li Shanqing asked. “If you expand the market here, will volunteer standards loosen?”
Zhuang Xu said, “No,” and Li Shanqing rolled his eyes, propping his chin. “Why so little effort? Mr. Li’s going to surpass you.”
“Has Mr. Li found investors?” Zhuang Xu sometimes wanted to call him out, speaking without thinking, often regretting it later.
“Mr. Li doesn’t need them yet,” Li Shanqing said confidently. “When I do, investors will line up. Got it?”
Zhuang Xu gave a cold smirk, tugging his lips. Li Shanqing said, “Wow, it’s been ages since I saw you smile. I thought you’d never smile at me again! Zhuang Xu, you look good when you smile!”
When Li Shanqing spoke, his own smile wasn’t big, like a mischievous teen pulling a prank, mocking Zhuang Xu’s coldness, yet acting like genuine praise.
“Zhuang Xu,” he said, eyes wide, his cold hand resting on Zhuang Xu’s wrist as he cut asparagus, touching Zhuang Xu’s watch. “Smile again.”
“Don’t bother me eating when you’re not eating,” Zhuang Xu heard himself say.
Li Shanqing said smugly, “You smiled again.”
Zhuang Xu didn’t believe him, pulling his hand away. Li Shanqing hummed a tune as the server brought the cake, a large white plate with “Anniversary” written in chocolate sauce.
The Li Shanqing in morning and midnight texts felt like a program, almost fake. The Li Shanqing on calls was distant, sometimes yawning, his whereabouts unclear. Only the Li Shanqing sitting across the restaurant table at dusk, in deep blue air, drinking only water yet willing to dine with Zhuang Xu, was real. Every minute was spent with Zhuang Xu, not shared with others.
—If Li Shanqing were still in Bingang.
Zhuang Xu looked at him, this thought surfacing, immediately scribbled out with black ink.
Useless daydreams prolonged memories or shortened time. Zhuang Xu checked his watch, paid the bill, feeling a day that started at dawn with nothing done was about to end.
Night enveloped the restaurant, all lights on. Zhuang Xu’s flight was two hours away. “I have to go.”
“Alright, do I really need to drive you to the airport? Why not stay a night? I have a spare room,” Li Shanqing invited warmly, tugging his arm as they left the restaurant.
A surprisingly gentle breeze blew over them, and Zhuang Xu had a mistaken sense that he, too, lived here, feeling an affinity for the wind.
Zhuang Xu didn’t answer. Li Shanqing muttered a bit, unlocked the car, and got into the driver’s seat.
Li Shanqing pressed the start button but didn’t drive immediately. He suddenly looked at Zhuang Xu and said inexplicably, “Why’s there a cake smell? Did you not wipe your mouth clean?”
“No way,” Zhuang Xu dismissed the absurd claim.
Li Shanqing frowned. “It’s really strong, so fragrant,” and leaned over to inspect Zhuang Xu’s face. Zhuang Xu blocked his shoulder, keeping him at bay. “Li Shanqing.”
“Don’t stop me. If it’s not on your face, where is it? Did it get somewhere else?” Li Shanqing stared earnestly, leaning forward, closing his eyes.
Zhuang Xu lowered his gaze, seeing Li Shanqing’s lashes, paler than most. In a year of traveling and meeting others, Zhuang Xu hadn’t seen such a color. Li Shanqing couldn’t be near flowers, yet his body temperature was like summer petals. Hearing his heartbeat, Zhuang Xu, in that instant, seemed certain of what Li Shanqing intended, slightly surprised but not resistant.
Li Shanqing had said on the drive that he was “eighteen now” and asked if Zhuang Xu “went to adult shows, can you take me next time?” When Zhuang Xu denied it, he’d asked, “Was it good?” Zhuang Xu nearly closed his eyes like him.
But Li Shanqing suddenly wrinkled his nose like a puppy, sniffing around Zhuang Xu, pausing at his sleeve, then opening his eyes and exclaiming happily, “Zhuang Xu, I found it!”
“You got cake on yourself!” He seemed to have caught Zhuang Xu’s flaw, grinning as he wiped Zhuang Xu’s sleeve with a tissue. “Good thing I found it, or people would laugh at you.”
He put the tissue in the cupholder, drove forward happily, and said, “I’m this important, so come back next month, okay?”
In that moment, Zhuang Xu vowed never to return to Fancheng, regretting the trip to see Li Shanqing the entire flight. In Licheng, Zhou Kaiqi was waiting. Due to the time difference, he held two late-night meetings and signed urgent documents.
He didn’t sleep well that night and soon broke his vow again.
