Chapter 36
In the driver’s seat sat his mother, just like the day they had arrived at the group lodging.
After Juha loaded his luggage into the trunk and got into the back seat, the car slid out of the vehicle cluster.
The outside world was peaceful, as if there had never been such a terrible thing as losing comrades who had been heading toward the same dream after a fierce war.
“So?”
As they entered the main road, his younger sister Yunha suddenly asked.
“So what?”
Juha pushed aside his joy and asked back in his familiar tone.
“How did it go?”
Their mother, who was concentrating on driving, also pretended not to care while listening intently to the back seat.
“How did what go? It just ended well.”
“Did you make it?”
When Juha answered casually, Yunha, who was sitting in the passenger seat, was startled and turned around. Their driving mother’s shoulders also flinched in response.
“Ah, you scared me. Why do you keep asking? I can’t answer because I have to maintain secrecy.”
Juha didn’t answer any more and turned his head toward the window.
“Well, yeah. After suffering for 6 years, you’d be an idiot to fail in the first round.”
Yunha smiled mysteriously and sat back properly, facing forward. Juha suppressed a chuckle.
Since they were siblings with similar personalities who liked to speak sharply, even though they bickered every day, today he felt like he could handle it.
He had cried and wailed, but it ended with laughter, so it was okay. He couldn’t deny feeling somewhat played by the broadcasting station “bastards,” but after passing together with Taeri, he had become generous about everything.
The streetlight illumination shining on Seoul late at night, the building lights created by overtime work, the warm late spring breeze seeping through the open window – everything was good.
* * *
Though it was a much smaller and older room than the penthouse, after returning from war, washing up, and changing into pajamas, Juha felt like he owned the world.
“Ahhh…”
Juha rolled around on his bed, enjoying his freedom. Today especially, even the scent from his blankets was nice and the bed was unusually soft.
*This is what living is like.*
Today he felt like he could sleep without even dreaming.
While enjoying himself alone, Juha suddenly remembered Taeri, who had become suddenly dark when he mentioned telling his family about his injury.
*Did he get home safely with that leg?*
Since he had told him to contact him if he was curious, Juha decided to do just that. After all, he was his person now – no more measuring or running away.
His person. Choi Taeri was Lee Juha’s person. Thinking of those embarrassing words and Choi Taeri made him feel even better.
Just as Juha was getting up from his bed to grab his phone, a text notification rang.
[Choi Taeri: Did you get home safely?]
As soon as Juha saw the name “Choi Taeri,” the corners of his mouth automatically lifted. It was amazing how just three characters could make a person this happy. Without thinking any further, Juha immediately sent a reply.
[Lee Juha: Yeah. You?]
[Choi Taeri: I’m in pain.]
As soon as Juha saw the word “pain,” his hand automatically pressed the “call” button. The signal didn’t last long before Taeri answered the phone.
“Where does it hurt?”
-My heart.
Even though the crutches might have been for show, the ankle injury was real, so he had been genuinely worried, but the response was ridiculous.
“Ha, are you really going to joke around? I’m already worried about your ankle.”
-Just take one photo of Lee Juha and send it to me. Then I think I won’t hurt anymore.
“Wait.”
Juha hung up the phone and immediately turned on his phone camera.
Looking at himself reflected in the front camera, he was suddenly amazed at what he was doing. Even while grumbling about being teased, he was promptly doing what Taeri asked – he was exactly like an obedient child.
Moreover, Juha was a self-acknowledged selfie disaster. Still, since he had already said he’d send one, he had no choice but to take it.
“Ah, this isn’t right…”
He tried several times, but nothing satisfied him. All the trainees and idols seemed to take selfies well, but Juha just couldn’t get used to it.
*I don’t know.*
After several attempts, Juha just sent the last photo he had taken.
[Choi Taeri: Pretty. I wish you were mine]
Anyway, he was an expert at making people’s hearts flutter. Juha smiled and sent a reply.
[Lee Juha: Not yet?]
[Choi Taeri: Don’t seduce me unless you’re going to come over.]
Juha read the text he had just received several times, fidgeting with his phone.
It was currently 11 PM. If he took a taxi, it wasn’t impossible to go. Certainly, a night without Choi Taeri felt as empty as lying on a bed without blankets.
[Lee Juha: I’ll come.]
Just as he sent the text after deliberating and was taking off his pajama shirt, a reply came.
[Choi Taeri: Rest today. I’ll contact you tomorrow.]
*Just when I had made up my mind.*
Juha sat on his bed in disappointment. His bare upper body felt even more chilly for no reason, so he awkwardly put his pajamas back on.
*Right. It would be a bit difficult to meet right away today.*
The disappointment was brief as Juha recognized reality. Both Juha and Taeri needed to rest today no matter what.
Especially Taeri, who had injured his ankle.
[Lee Juha: For sure.]
[Choi Taeri: For sure.]
After receiving the promise to contact him, his heart felt much more at ease. After ending the conversation, Juha stared at his phone’s chat window for a long time.
He saw his own foolish face in the awkward selfie. An awkward expression that couldn’t even be called smiling. Thinking that even trivial things like this were one of the factors people called “lacking charisma” made him feel bitter for no reason.
Seeing him call even this pretty, Choi Taeri must definitely be wearing rose-colored glasses.
*Should I have asked for a photo too?*
If he searched for Choi Taeri photos on the internet right now, tons would pop up. But thinking about it, he didn’t have a single photo taken solely for him.
While vaguely looking at their conversation history, a new notification rang.
“Huh?”
It was a selfie of Taeri leaning against his bed. His sly smile looked exactly like a seductive cat craving its owner’s love. Choi Taeri didn’t disappoint expectations and even took selfies well.
[Lee Juha: I wish you were mine.]
Juha sent back exactly what Taeri had said, with a smile spreading across his face. A reply came instantly.
[Choi Taeri: I’m dying to be Lee Juha’s >_<♡]
“Ahhh…”
Juha screamed out loud and rolled around on his bed.
He was immediately smitten by Choi Taeri, who was flirting like a fox. How could anyone not fall for Choi Taeri?
* * *
When the production crew mentioned that they had informed his family about his injury, Taeri secretly hoped. Maybe his mother would come pick him up herself. But seeing Driver Kim waiting at the back gate, he realized it was an absurd expectation.
*There’s no way mother would come herself.*
People said it must be nice to enjoy so much because his parents were busy and his family was great, but Taeri couldn’t understand what exactly he had enjoyed.
His mother Ji Inhui couldn’t take care of Taeri at all when she gave birth to him during her medical internship. The one who raised Taeri was an aunt known as a “childcare expert.” Even after that, when Taeri needed an adult by his side, it was only the driver, tutors, and ladies who helped with housework.
Due to guilt about not being able to raise her son with her own hands, she agreed with what Taeri wanted to do, but ultimately what his mother Ji Inhui wanted was for Taeri to become a doctor like his parents.
To be precise, Ji Inhui believed and expected that Taeri would soon tire of being a dancer or idol and become a doctor.
Since all he had seen and learned at home was that, he thought something like being an idol would be trivial. Even she, who appeared to be on Taeri’s side, had deep elitist consciousness.
Yesterday too, instead of coming to pick up her injured son herself, Taeri’s mother Ji Inhui scolded him over the phone.
What was the point of sending him if he came back injured, it wasn’t too late to quit now, this was the last chance to reconcile with his father, and so on.
It was all nonsense not worth listening to.
When his father kicked Taeri out of the house, Ji Inhui had given him an apartment in her name, and she had readily signed anything that required parental consent.
But that was as far as it went. Taeri, who chased his dreams, was always alone.
“Professor Jeong, you’re sure there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the bone, right?”
Ji Inhui asked her orthopedic colleague several times. In front of him, Taeri sat with a black cap pulled down and his black mask slightly lowered.
Ji Inhui, who kept asking repeatedly, sounded as if she hoped there was something wrong with Taeri’s ankle bone so he would quit everything.
Yesterday, the production crew had handed Taeri over to his family and repeatedly asked them not to let people find out he had gone to the hospital.
He didn’t want to come to Semun Hospital, his paternal family’s hospital, but because the production crew had already informed his mother, Taeri was practically dragged here.
“I told you there’s nothing. Anyway, worrying about your son. All the dancers who come to me always have injuries like this. If you don’t rest, it’ll get worse, so don’t walk much for at least 2 weeks and absolutely no practice. Got it, Taeri?”
“Yes.”
After finishing their conversation, Taeri and Ji Inhui left the examination room.
When he attended arts high school, he got injured more often than this, but he didn’t tell them because he was afraid of this. He was afraid his mother would make a fuss and say “That’s why you should quit and study.”
No matter how much she pretended to take his side, Taeri, as her son, couldn’t help but know she was hypocritical about his dreams. To his parents, Taeri was nothing more than a tool to carry on the family medical profession.
“Don’t go anywhere and rest at home. Should mom bring you something to eat?”
Ji Inhui stuck close to Taeri’s side and kept trying to make conversation.
“You can’t cook.”
Taeri answered with a chuckle.
“I could ask the lady to…”
Ji Inhui couldn’t bring herself to deny it either. Since he had never eaten what could be called “mom’s cooking,” he didn’t particularly miss it. This kind of neglected son’s life had now become sickeningly familiar.
“It’s okay.”
“Your father doesn’t know you’re injured yet, so don’t worry too much.”
“He wouldn’t care anyway.”
“I don’t know. Mom is on her son’s side, but I don’t know if it’s okay to keep leaving things like this.”
“I’m doing this because I like it. Mom just needs to stay as you are now.”
“You really don’t give me any joy in raising a son.”
Ji Inhui pouted and complained. Maybe because they hadn’t been close since he was a baby, her son Taeri was always like this.
He seemed to have clear convictions about his dreams, and it felt like he was fighting not to let her hold back his future when she hadn’t given him love like other parents when he needed it.
Since Taeri was practically raised by others, Ji Inhui had no particular excuse either.
“I’m leaving.”
“Be careful going. Don’t let people catch you.”
“Yes. Go ahead.”
Taeri gave a light greeting and left through the hospital’s main entrance.
“Phew…”
Covering his nose and mouth with a mask to avoid people’s gazes made breathing stuffy. His right ankle with the half-cast was also uncomfortable. Every time he got injured, he had hidden it and survived with bandages, but this time it would be exposed to the entire nation, so he had no choice but to rest.
It was fortunate that he could rest for 2 weeks since the last filming had been organized into the second episode.
It was still late May, but the heat was already intense. Taeri took off the checkered shirt he had worn over his clothes and tied it around his waist. When his nice muscles were revealed outside the black short-sleeved t-shirt he wore underneath, people started glancing at him.
Just as the staring eyes were becoming rapidly uncomfortable, his phone conveniently rang. Taeri quickly wove through people’s gazes and answered the phone.
-Are you really not going to contact me?
It was Lee Juha. As soon as he heard the sulking voice, the discomfort surrounding him evaporated. Taeri’s lips curved up in a grin that seemed ready to break through his mask.
“I was waiting to see when you’d contact me. I always feel like I’m the only one being anxious.”
After having a cringey conversation until late last night, Taeri had completely cut off contact since this morning.
He had gone underwater for a bit, afraid Juha would worry again if he said he was going to the hospital, but Juha couldn’t stand it and called first.
-Are you satisfied now?
“No. Just hearing your voice makes me unable to stand it.”
-Do you miss me?
“Yeah. I miss you so much.”
-Got it. I’ll wash up and come right over.
As Juha’s answer spread through his ears, hot wind brushed past Taeri.
A person who, when told “I miss you,” didn’t say “I miss you too” or “Should I come?” but said “I’ll come.”
At some point, Taeri had stopped telling his mother he missed her. Because even when he said he missed her, his mother had almost never come to see Taeri. His father went without saying.
To Taeri, who was used to the response “Mom’s late, so listen to your aunt” when he said “I miss you,” it was an overwhelmingly generous answer that was almost awkward.
With such a person by his side, even a life like a lonely struggle seemed quite livable.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
