Chapter 26
Seeing Taeri respond absurdly to such a ridiculous question, Juha burst into laughter again.
Though Juha was serious about everything, in this moment with their bodies intertwined, he was completely relaxed. This was something the usual Lee Juha could never have imagined.
Without doing much of anything, just making sucking sounds and having nonsensical conversations, he forgot about time and space. Everything Juha felt and thought remained only in the ‘now.’
“Ha, let’s sleep now.”
After a long while, when Juha’s lips parted and those words came out, Taeri’s eyes immediately lost their light.
“How can we just sleep?”
Taeri lifted his head slightly and gave Juha a peck on the lips.
“We have to film tomorrow.”
“Mmm… I don’t want to…”
Taeri pouted and kept giving Juha little kisses. If left alone, there was no telling how far it would go. It wasn’t easy for Juha to restrain himself with Choi Taeri acting like this either.
A man with a refreshingly handsome face who shamelessly spat out dirty words while acting cute, yet had a body so perfect it belonged in an art museum.
It required tremendous patience to just look at this Choi Taeri like eye candy.
“What if there are cameras left here?”
At Juha’s words meant to soothe, Taeri chuckled.
“We already fought plenty while shouting about hit-and-run and even kissed like this?”
“Still. We need to be careful.”
Juha patted Taeri’s chest soothingly and climbed down from his body.
“I don’t want to…”
“I need to turn off the lights.”
Taeri reluctantly got up and pressed the lighting switch beside the bed. Meanwhile, Juha curled up at his original spot at the end of the bed. The lights went out and darkness instantly arrived.
Taeri discovered Juha curled up far away and let out a quiet laugh. Why did he try so hard to run away when he knew perfectly well he’d get caught? Muttering to himself, Taeri approached him.
“Lee Juha is really difficult.”
Taeri knelt in front of the bed and lay on his side, matching eye level with Juha who was lying sideways. Just as startled Juha was about to pull the blanket over himself, Taeri pulled the blanket down.
“Running away again, again.”
“No, we need to sleep now.”
Juha avoided his gaze and mumbled his words.
“You told me to turn off the lights so you could run away to the end of this bed by yourself again?”
“Let’s sleep, Taeri. Okay?”
“You think I’ll just fall asleep if you do that?”
Taeri smiled and gave Juha a peck.
Even when coaxed with gentle words, Taeri wouldn’t listen at all. While Juha was wondering ‘what should I do,’ Taeri climbed onto the bed and pulled Juha over. Juha’s thin body was tightly wrapped in Taeri’s long, muscular arms and dragged all the way to the middle of the bed.
Having no choice but to lie side by side in the middle of the bed, Juha could feel the curves of Taeri’s body behind his back.
Thump.
The air was too thick to dismiss it as just a brief moment.
Juha slowly turned around to face Taeri.
In those sparkling eyes of Taeri’s in the darkness, Juha’s face was completely reflected. It was packed full as if unwilling to allow any gap other than Lee Juha.
Juha raised his hand and caressed Taeri’s cheek. Taeri seemed to like the feeling and rubbed his cheek against his palm.
Watching that cute behavior, Juha suddenly remembered the reality he had been avoiding.
“Taeri…”
“Yeah?”
Taeri answered with expectant eyes.
“Aren’t you scared of the death match?”
At the word “death match” that broke the sweet atmosphere, Taeri’s expression hardened. The gaze that had been meeting his with excitement also fell downward.
“Stupidly, so why did you come rushing to me…”
“Because you were avoiding me…”
Taeri couldn’t meet his eyes like a puppy that had caused big trouble.
“What will happen to us?”
Juha’s gaze also fell downward. This sweet situation now was reality, and the death match that would come was also reality.
“Lee Juha.”
Breaking the silence, Taeri called his name.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to be with me?”
“…Yeah.”
Juha’s answer fell weakly.
Even if he wanted to be together, he knew well that it wasn’t a situation where that was possible. Everyone would expect Lee Juha to be the one eliminated in the death match. Even Juha himself wasn’t confident he could beat Choi Taeri.
If he got eliminated after just the first competition and went home, could he really continue his relationship with Taeri afterward? Anyone could see that Choi Taeri was someone who would take center position in the debut group.
When Taeri performed in front of tens of thousands, Juha might have to be studying for college entrance exams at a prep academy.
Continuing their relationship like now while overcoming that extreme status difference was something Juha couldn’t bear. He didn’t have the confidence to watch closely as someone achieved what he had dreamed of for six years.
“Lee Juha, look at me.”
At Taeri’s words, Juha slowly raised his gaze. Even in this darkness, his eyes sparkled, and the fact that he got excited seeing that was probably only possible because it was Choi Taeri.
Even while thinking of an uncertain future, facing Taeri’s face made Juha feel much better.
Thinking this must be the power that beauty creates, he smiled for no reason. This time Taeri gently stroked Juha’s face.
“I’ll be satisfied just performing on stage with you for now. I won’t half-ass it to help you advance, and I won’t overdo it just to advance myself. So I hope you’ll do the same.”
“…”
“It’s our first stage together. We don’t know how many stages just you and I will be able to do in the future. I’ll find meaning in that.”
“Can you do that?”
“Yeah.”
With Taeri speaking so prettily, Juha didn’t want to feel anxious. As much confidence as he gave, Juha shouldn’t become weak either.
Getting discouraged and giving up thinking the results were already decided didn’t suit Juha’s personality. He hadn’t come here opposing his parents just to become weak or give up before even trying the first competition.
As if knowing Juha’s troubled heart, Taeri threw out his final words.
“Let’s think about the results later.”
Taeri embraced Juha fully with his long arms.
Seeing Taeri’s heart beating fast in his embrace, he didn’t seem as comfortable as his words suggested either. Not wanting to be eliminated and not wanting to eliminate the other would be the same for both.
But if Taeri said so, Juha wanted to pretend not to know and accept his feelings.
“Right. Having a stage with just you and me isn’t a common opportunity either.”
Juha answered reluctantly.
“Let’s sleep now.”
Taeri gave a light final kiss and patted Juha’s back.
As if they had never been excited, both their bodies calmed down. Juha obediently entrusted his body to Taeri’s embrace. They had spent over an hour sucking and kissing while confirming each other’s feelings, but it still felt insufficient.
Whether it was because he liked Taeri that much, the things to come felt even more frightening.
“I just need Lee Juha…”
As if comforting Juha’s heart, Taeri muttered like sleep talking.
It was a warm and deep night.
* * *
Even though they were in the same room with the same roommate, the atmosphere was completely different between the first and second group lodging. Compared to the first lodging that was difficult and uncomfortable due to emotions he couldn’t face, this time his heart was at ease no matter what he did. Following Choi Taeri’s words about being a “face fool,” Lee Juha gained strength just by looking at Taeri’s face.
Actually, that point was the problem of this lodging, if it was a problem. He liked clinging and being affectionate so much that Juha’s job every night was using his strength to peel off that big body.
It wasn’t entirely unpleasant or bothersome. Every night, secretly kissing and then stopping progress and calming down wasn’t easy, but the secretly shared feelings were incredibly sweet.
Even though cameras and audio safely turned off after 10 o’clock thanks to guardians strongly advocating for youth protection laws, intense skinship was bound to be uncomfortable.
What Juha found hard to endure was during the day, that is, when filming.
The song “Mine” that Taeri and Juha chose was characterized by lyrics about two men fighting over one woman. Especially the power struggle where the two men wouldn’t back down was the most important choreography point, but no matter what, it was impossible for Juha to beat Taeri in strength.
Moreover, befitting a dance major, Taeri’s movements were so flexible that Juha couldn’t even imitate them. Even doing the same moves, Taeri whose body was perfectly built for dancing and Juha who was trained mainly in K-pop dance were bound to be compared.
Facing the skill gap every day during practice was painful, and the fact that the target was someone he liked also tormented Juha.
“Wait a minute.”
Dance Master Niki, who was doing a mid-practice check, stopped the music.
“Ha, ha.”
Taeri and Juha simultaneously burst out with rough breathing.
After wiping his sweat, Juha placed his hands on his bent knees. He was breathing hard as if he had been running at full speed.
Niki, who had turned off the audio, crossed his arms and approached Juha. From the look in his eyes, he seemed quite dissatisfied with Juha’s dancing.
“Choi Taeri, step out for a moment.”
Niki gestured to Taeri with his chin.
“Yes? Ha, ha, why?”
Taeri was equally exhausted. The choreography was so intense that even Taeri with his good stamina would be breathless after just two or three repetitions.
“I have something to discuss with Juha. Go out.”
Niki said firmly. Even as he reluctantly went outside, Taeri’s worried gaze couldn’t let go of Juha.
Left alone together, Juha straightened up and stood properly in front of Niki. When he stopped moving, sweat poured down his entire body.
“Don’t try to follow Taeri’s character. I don’t mean your skills are lacking, but if two people with the same character stand on stage, it becomes less interesting. I think you need to change your character a bit.”
Juha silently accepted Niki’s words. Though he didn’t want to admit it, Niki’s advice was reasonable.
Juha was shorter than Taeri, smaller in build, and had fair skin so he looked fragile. If he forced power moves, it might look somewhat ridiculous.
Knowing this, Juha had done his best to the point of getting sick trying not to lose to Taeri.
Since cameras were rolling in the small practice room, Niki could have said more provocative things for the broadcast. Some masters enjoyed making trainees cry as their character.
But Niki couldn’t bring himself to say harsh words to Juha.
Juha was so earnest that anyone would feel sorry for him, so it would be mean to pour cold water while digging at his wounds.
That consideration strangely bothered Juha. It felt like it meant there was no need to say harsh words to a young lamb desperately fighting a battle it would lose anyway.
“What kind of… character?”
“Think about senior groups. No group is composed of members with all the same character. There’s definitely a character that suits you too. You seem quite impatient, so think about it carefully.”
“Yes.”
Juha nodded and answered.
As his labored breathing stopped, his body began to tremble slightly. Though there were still three days until the competition, it wasn’t a long time to change character and practice again.
But pushing forward like this was like knowingly writing the wrong answer on a test.
“Right. Think about it a bit more. Oh right, you know today is the day the second episode airs, right? There’s going to be group viewing in the main hall later, so don’t forget.”
“Yes.”
“Good work.”
Niki patted Juha’s shoulder and left the practice room.
“Whew…”
Juha let out a big sigh and sat down. Throughout his six years as a trainee, Lee Juha had always been like this.
Even doing his best, the result was about 70 percent. So to see 100 percent results, he had to put in 130 percent or more effort.
Even after struggling and working so hard, he was dropped from the debut group, and now from the first competition it was this state.
While Juha smiled bitterly in self-reproach, the practice room door opened carefully.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
