“I know.”
Sophia answered.
“I know you didn’t mean to do that. Still, you must’ve been disappointed. The bird died too late.”
“Of course, Anita said that, but… I don’t really believe it had nothing to do with me. Isn’t it strange to say my nose just broke because of poison and now smells things that don’t exist? Oh, of course, I don’t mean you’re strange, Sophia.”
At the word “strange,” Ronald seemed to remember what Solid had said about Sophia and quickly tried to explain himself. Sophia sat next to Ronald and said,
“Someone like me is definitely strange. Even I think so. So Ronald, you don’t need to prove it’s not your fault.”
“Why do you think you’re strange?”
Ronald frowned. Sophia replied, flustered.
“Well… the fact that I woke up after five months is strange… and even after that, I’m still not normal.”
“What does ‘normal’ mean?”
“Uh…”
The suddenly philosophical question made Sophia go silent. She thought to herself that Ronald had been much easier to deal with as a child. Back then, giving him something tasty and patting his shoulder while listening to him would usually calm him down. Ronald spoke again.
“I think being normal means having some kind of principle. One-sided, maybe, but a principle that makes sense. Like eating when you’re hungry, or sleeping when you’re tired.”
“If you put it that way, then smelling something weird because of poison is also a principle, right?”
“No. Smells come from something real. If your brain goes weird and smells something that doesn’t exist, that’s not logical.”
“Well, to me, it kind of makes sense.”
Sophia answered like she didn’t care. When she crushed the green grass with her shoe, the tip turned green with plant juice.
“You don’t think much, do you, Sophia?”
Ronald said suddenly. Sophia looked at him in disbelief and let out a breath like a dry laugh. But his eyes didn’t seem to be mocking her. He looked like he was just saying what he felt.
“Being passive isn’t good, Soph. That’s what my mentor said. Nobles live that way because it’s easier for them, but thinking ‘maybe that’s just how it is’ is like a worm that eats away at your brain. You have to think seriously, Sophia. You have to figure out what’s happening to you and why.”
It felt really strange to get this kind of advice from a younger sibling. But she wasn’t offended. Actually, it made her wonder if she had been too indifferent all this time.
“Thinking ‘maybe that’s just how it is’ is like a worm that eats away at your brain.”
Sophia mumbled the phrase again for no reason. Suddenly, a very strange thought passed through her mind.
“I said I ended up like this because of poison.”
Sophia muttered to herself. Ronald frowned like he was frustrated.
“The poison doesn’t matter. Sophia, what matters is your mindset—”
“No! That’s not it. The weird thing is, I don’t remember ever hearing exactly what kind of poison it was.”
“What? You don’t know?”
“Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“See?”
Sophia lifted her chin once. Ronald looked at her, dumbfounded.
“Well, I’m not the one who was poisoned. Ask the Count or the Countess.”
“Yeah, I will.”
Sophia quickly stood up and ran off.
But the Count was away, and the Countess acted like she wasn’t interested, reading her newspaper.
“Why does that even matter, Sophia? The Duke is handling everything.”
“You don’t know either, Mother?”
“I probably heard it but forgot. You know, while you were unconscious, we were so worried, and after you woke up, we were busy cleaning up after your messes. And the name of the poison was probably really hard to remember anyway.”
The Countess gestured to a maid like she had a headache and asked for a handkerchief. The maid quickly soaked a handkerchief in ice water, wrung it tightly, and handed it over. The Countess placed it on her forehead and took Sophia’s hand, starting to speak.
“Anyway, I never thought Solid and Ronald would be so immature. Don’t forgive them just because of some silly idea of friendship. I think Solid was jealous of you. Since you’re with the Duke, it makes his pathetic Samuel look even worse in comparison. Do you remember how obsessed he was with the letters Samuel sent him?”
Sophia regretted coming to the Countess. The Countess went on and on about Solid. She even said maybe Solid had done it all to dig up dirt on Sophia.
“Who knows? Maybe Solid was so blinded by that boy that he had Ronald do that to find your flaws. Of course, even if the Duke heard something like that, he wouldn’t bat an eye. You know what kind of man he is. He waited five months for you to wake up!”
Sophia knew from experience that getting angry and interrupting her mother in moments like this was useless.
She didn’t really believe Solid had done any of that. Still, she couldn’t argue with the Countess. That last moment in the parlor—the cold look Solid gave her, and the words “Sophia is not normal”—kept echoing in her mind.
“Anyway, making a fuss won’t help us, so we’ll just let it go. But don’t get too attached to Solid like before. Remember, the one you should rely on is the Duke. He waited for you, and it seems he’s not really interested in anyone else. But don’t make the mistake of thinking a man’s heart is forever. So when are you and the Duke finally going to have a proper engagement ceremony?”
The Countess just wouldn’t stop talking. Sophia, who had been zoning out while listening, finally couldn’t take it anymore and suddenly stood up.
“What… are you doing?”
The Countess looked confused as her daughter stood up before she finished speaking. Sophia calmly replied,
“I forgot to contact the Duke. I’ll be sure to tell him everything you said while I’m at it.”
Then she kissed the Countess on the cheek and turned to run away. The Countess sighed and handed the now lukewarm handkerchief back to the maid. The maid dipped it in ice water again with a deep sigh.
“Going to see Mother was a mistake.”
This time, Sophia said it to Felix. He was looking over school documents in the study when Sophia suddenly barged in, sighed, and slid into a chair. His eyes widened in surprise.
“Why? What happened?”
He asked, even though he already knew it was a mistake. It was too late to take it back now. Sophia, who had inherited her mother’s temper, was now saying the same things to Felix.
“Sometimes I just can’t trust Mother. Before the engagement, she really liked Solid. But now, all of a sudden… well, maybe not suddenly, but still, I didn’t think she’d start saying such nonsense.”
“What did she say?”
“She said maybe Solid had Ronald bring him to my room on purpose. So that the Duke would hear about it and think badly of me. Isn’t that crazy?”
“Mother tends to say whatever comes to mind when she’s angry. I don’t think she meant it seriously. Lately, she’s been more emotional. She even keeps an ice bucket by her side. I wonder if she’s okay.”
“She does overheat easily.”
“So are we going to Pluie again this summer?”
Sophia shrugged. Because of the Countess’s condition, the Hilden family always spent their summer vacation in the northern resort town of Pluie. To be honest, Pluie was kind of outdated. Even the imperial family had been going to a more southern and beautiful place called Viette for years now.
At least since Sophia debuted in high society, that had been the case. She often felt lonely hearing people assume she’d be in Viette too. When someone occasionally asked, “Doesn’t the Hilden family usually go to Pluie in the summer?” she would even blush in embarrassment.
But maybe this summer will be different.
Sophia thought. Since the Countess never stops praising the Duke, if he wanted to go to Viette instead of Pluie this year, things might actually change.
As she thought about that, Sophia suddenly remembered the promise she had made with Felix.
“So, Sophia, what do you want to do about your engagement?”
