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My Stalking Diary – Chapter 64

Chapter 64

Complaining here about why he doesn’t understand my feelings would only add to Joo Kwon-oh’s burden.

I couldn’t do anything about the person who drank and drove the forklift at the factory, or about Joo Kwon-oh’s cracked bone. Crucially, he didn’t seem to need me either…

“Excuse me… how long does it take to get to the bus terminal from here?”

I took a deep breath and asked a passerby for directions. The man, wearing work clothes covered in dust and sand, looked me up and down and said:

“The terminal? It doesn’t take long by car.”

The man who gave such a half-hearted answer passed by and disappeared before I could ask how many minutes it would take by car, or if it was possible to walk there.

With no other choice, I went to the roadside and opened the taxi app. As I was setting the destination from my current location to the bus terminal, I saw a taxi approaching from a distance.

“Over here!”

I waved my hand and hailed the taxi. Fortunately, the taxi stopped in front of me.

“Please take me to the bus terminal.”

Of course, I could have taken the taxi straight to Seoul, but that was too expensive an option, so I was determined to use the bus.

I stared blankly out the window in the taxi. Was it because of Joo Kwon-oh’s expression and attitude I saw today? Suddenly, the time I had spent with Joo Kwon-oh felt small and insignificant.

I had believed without doubt that we were incredibly close, but why did he seem so distant today?

When I first liked Joo Kwon-oh and we confirmed our feelings for each other, I had fully expected that someday a situation like this would come where I would feel small. So I was always mentally prepared to be less sad and less miserable.

But it seems I failed in my preparation. Judging by how much my heart aches…

‘That brat Joo Kwon-oh particularly hates showing when he’s in pain. If he said anything strange, I hope you’ll understand and let it slide.’

‘He tends to act tougher in front of people he’s close to, so many misunderstand him. He’s my brother, but I don’t know why he acts like that.’

His brother’s words kept echoing in my ears. It might have been just polite conversation, but… even though I felt hurt and upset, I was still worried about Joo Kwon-oh. Maybe he was pretending to be okay in front of me.

“We’ve arrived.”

“…Ah, yes.”

Even as I mechanically finished paying and got out of the taxi, I couldn’t stop thinking.

Right. Come to think of it, last time when he got hurt playing basketball, he also insisted he was fine. In the end, I had to be more stubborn to disinfect and apply medicine to his injury.

What if he’s not really okay? What if he needs surgery? Do they need to put in metal pins? Wouldn’t that take too long to recover…?

If I go back to Seoul like this, all I can do is wait.

Am I really doing the right thing by going to Seoul?

My thoughts had led me to this point.

“Where are you going?”

I stood in front of the express bus terminal ticket office, deep in thought.

“Customer. I asked where you’re going.”

The employee urged, seemingly frustrated by my silence.

“Seoul… The earliest departure…”

I hesitated, unable to finish my sentence.

“The fastest bus to Seoul?”

“……”

“Customer.”

A few seconds passed. And finally, I completely changed my mind.

“I’m, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, but where should I go to catch a taxi from here?”

The ticket office employee shot me a look that said, ‘What is this?’

“…Where do you want to go?”

“Correct Orthopedics Hospital.”

I don’t want to go to Seoul right now after all. I need to go back to the hospital.

“Where is that? How am I supposed to know if you just say that? If it’s nearby, you should go out the back to catch a taxi easily. If you’re going to a different area, you should tell them in advance or it’s better to call a taxi.”

“Yes, yes. Thank you.”

I ran in the direction the employee pointed without hesitation. If I went to Seoul like this, I would surely regret it for days.

Right. I just need to avoid hovering around Joo Kwon-oh. I couldn’t believe Joo Kwon-oh’s words that he was fine, and I didn’t want to just wait quietly when I couldn’t even contact him properly.

“Driver, please take me to Correct Orthopedics Hospital.”

I caught another taxi and returned to the hospital where Joo Kwon-oh was admitted.

I planned to wait near the hospital, properly confirm that the results after the doctor’s examination tomorrow were okay, and then return to Seoul.

It’s true that Joo Kwon-oh’s attitude of drawing a line hurt my feelings, but people can act that way when they’re sick and overwhelmed by the situation. Just like I did when I had a bad cold.

At that time, Joo Kwon-oh didn’t go home and stayed by my side in the room until my fever went down. Why can’t I do the same?

If my presence in the hospital room is bothersome and annoying… I can just stay somewhere else and come to check on his condition briefly. If he needs anything, I can take care of it…

I just wanted to take the time to see with my own eyes that Joo Kwon-oh was okay. If he really considers me his boyfriend, he should allow this level of boundary crossing. Even if he doesn’t want it.

“You can drop me off here.”

I got off the car not right in front of the hospital, but nearby.

Fortunately, there was a café next to the hospital. Although it looked shabby, it was a sufficient place to kill time and organize my thoughts.

I had a lot to think about, like where to stay tonight to wait for tomorrow’s examination results, when to contact the irritable Joo Kwon-oh, and so on.

“Welcome.”

As I entered the café, the employee greeted me in a sleepy voice.

The café was almost empty of customers and barely any sunlight came in, making the interior feel desolate. But I could see the hospital through the window, and there was internet connection, so it was good enough.

“Um… One hot Americano and a chocolate muffin, please.”

“That’ll be 7,900 won.”

After paying, I took the quickly prepared drink and muffin to a corner seat.

Actually, I hadn’t eaten a single meal since morning when I met Choi Kyung-won at Joo Kwon-oh’s place and rushed here. When I saw the muffin at the counter just now, I finally realized I was hungry.

No wonder I felt weak.

I took a sip of coffee and quietly ate the muffin in my seat. I was so hungry my stomach hurt, but once the muffin was in my mouth, I couldn’t taste anything.

“……”

Suddenly, tears that I had been holding back so well welled up. And then the tears started to fall bit by bit.

I counted one by one the things that had hurt me today.

First, I’m hurt because Joo Kwon-oh is injured. And I’m upset that he didn’t tell me. I’m hurt that he asked Choi Kyung-won to bring his belongings instead of me. It was really bad that he told me to go back to Seoul as soon as he saw me. No matter how busy and stressed he was… that was clearly pushing me away.

It was heartbreaking to be of no help to the person I like.

But the reason I couldn’t get angry was because I knew too well that I wasn’t a very reliable or dependable person. So Joo Kwon-oh’s attitude of drawing a line made sense, which made me even more depressed.

As I was immersed in these dark thoughts, shedding small tears, I heard the café door burst open.

“Ryu Jeong-ha!”

Then, unexpectedly, Joo Kwon-oh’s voice calling my name pierced my eardrums.

“Sniff… Huh?”

I was so surprised that I stopped eating the muffin and jerked my head up.

“Haa, haa. Ryu Jeong-ha, you…”

Joo Kwon-oh ran up to me and glared at me fiercely while panting. His face, with the cast on, was covered in sweat.

“Kw-Kwon-oh. How did you…”

“No. I told you to wait, didn’t I? How could you just leave?”

“……”

“I asked people, and… haa, they said you went to the terminal… When I went there, they said you went back to the hospital. I barely found you after asking around. Phew.”

Joo Kwon-oh’s hot, rough breaths poured over the top of my head. I blinked in confusion before finally opening my mouth.

“Are you… allowed to come out like this?”

“Of course not. Looking for you, I… Ha. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

“Ah. I didn’t see it.”

“Did you want to see me go crazy with worry?”

I felt intimidated by his suddenly accusatory tone.

“N-no. I thought you told me to go…”

“I told you to wait so I could get you a taxi. And why did you come back here?”

I couldn’t meet his eyes and lowered my gaze.

“…To wait and see you again tomorrow.”

“……”

“I’m not trying to bother you, really… I’m worried. It’s natural to be concerned when you say you hurt your arm while working.”

As I spoke, my voice trembled without me realizing it. Tears that had suddenly welled up in my eyes dropped onto the muffin.

“Why, why are you crying?”

Joo Kwon-oh knelt in front of me, flustered. I shook my head and turned it the other way. Then I quickly wiped my tears with my arm.

“I’m crying because I’m worried. Why. Are you going to scold me for crying here too?”

“No…”

I glared at Joo Kwon-oh’s face, which had frozen in surprise. And before he could tell me to go home quickly, I beat him to it.

“I’m not going to Seoul. I’m just going to stay here without bothering you… I, I won’t say anything to you, so don’t you say anything to me either!”

Hyacinthus B
Author: Hyacinthus B

Hyacinthus

My Stalking Diary

My Stalking Diary

스토킹 다이어리
Status: Completed Author: Released: 2024 Native Language: Korean
“Why. Damn, do you have something to say?” My first impression of Joo Kwon-oh was that he was a total punk. He was the kind of guy who would casually spit out vulgarities while smoking a cigarette. The way he twisted his neck from side to side, glaring at others, was intimidating. Joo Kwon-oh knew exactly how to assert dominance among the group of guys. Without a doubt, his first impression was the worst. “Hey. Can you lend me a pen?” “…Here.” “Oh, thanks.” But coincidentally, I started to run into Joo Kwon-oh more frequently. Maybe, Joo Kwon-oh isn’t as reckless as I thought. I became increasingly curious about him. Before I knew it, my eyes were always following him, and my hands were sketching him. * The moment Joo Kwon-oh caught me secretly stalking him, I thought he would find me disgusting… [Joo Kwon-oh: Have you ever kissed a guy?]   [Me: Why?]   [Joo Kwon-oh: Because I want to try it.]   At some point, Joo Kwon-oh began to ask me strange questions. Wasn’t he supposed to like girls? Why is he being so nice to me all of a sudden?

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