Chapter 121
*
After receiving the news of his acceptance, Joo Kwon-oh became incredibly busy. Although the school handled most of the documents that needed to be submitted abroad for the linked program, there were still some documents he had to obtain personally.
It seemed Joo Kwon-oh had been completely idle until just before the acceptance news, as he was now frantically preparing all the necessary items.
He didn’t have time to meet me separately as he was going back and forth between the school and public offices.
—I stopped by the community center, now I need to go to the Dutch embassy to pick up some documents.
Joo Kwon-oh’s voice sounded slightly tired when he called, saying he had a moment to catch his breath.
“Isn’t the time too tight? What if you can’t arrive on time?”
—Then I’m screwed. I’ll just attend next semester with you, Peach.
“Kwon-oh.”
—I’m kidding, just kidding. I’m flying there in a taxi now.
“Let me know when you arrive and get everything sorted out.”
—Yeah. Don’t worry and rest. Let’s have dinner together after I finish all this. I want to see your face.
“Okay.”
It seems he’ll have some free time in the evening at least. I was worried we might not be able to see each other before his departure, which was just around the corner, so this was a relief.
After that, I carried my phone even to the bathroom, afraid I might miss Joo Kwon-oh’s call. I kept glancing at my phone out of habit while doing other things at home.
But that evening, we couldn’t have dinner together because Joo Kwon-oh’s family came to visit his apartment.
Joo Kwon-oh said we could still have dinner together regardless of his family’s visit, but I couldn’t ask him to leave his father and brother who came from Yongin. His family was probably as worried about Joo Kwon-oh as I was.
In the end, we met secretly in the early hours of the morning at the playground near his apartment, which had become our hideout, after everyone else had gone to sleep.
Since his family was going to see him off at the airport on the day of departure, there was no more time left for Joo Kwon-oh and me.
What did I say at the playground that time?
It felt ironic that I had firmly pushed Joo Kwon-oh to go, but now that the moment of separation was approaching, I was at a loss for words and my mind went blank.
“I’ll be back soon.”
Among the confusing memories, only this one sentence from Joo Kwon-oh remained clear in my mind.
Hearing those words, the uncomfortable feelings of regret and worry that had been floating around in my nerves all day settled down.
And as I had resolved, I sent Joo Kwon-oh off with composure.
*
The first week of the new semester was nothing special.
“The vacation already feels like a past life…”
“Ah, I wish the semester would end quickly.”
“As if that’s possible.”
Tired voices could be heard from here and there.
The painting department’s studio, which I returned to after a long time, was the same as before.
The familiar faces made it easy to adjust without any need for adaptation. The stuffy smell of paint, the heavy feel of the work clothes. Nothing deviated from what I remembered.
“No way. How can they just start classes without any orientation? Is this even a school?”
“The theme is free, isn’t it?”
“What freedom is there in having to mix at least three materials? This is oppression.”
Complaints could be heard continuously from all corners of the studio. Although it had been almost a week since the semester started, most students were still in denial about the reality.
It was understandable, as the professors in charge of the mandatory painting major courses mercilessly threw semester assignments at us from the very first day of classes.
There was one piece of good news, though. Fortunately, I managed to register for the same general education course with Kim Jae-hyun and Bae Yu-rim this time, so at least I wouldn’t have to sit alone in the general education classroom.
But that was it. There was nothing else good about the new semester.
Sitting in front of the canvas in the studio, I checked my phone out of habit. Joo Kwon-oh was still asleep, so our KakaoTalk conversation from last night was the last contact.
It was disappointing that there was almost no Instagram activity, perhaps because he was busy just a few days after leaving the country.
I still can’t believe he actually left for the Netherlands. Despite my insistence that he should definitely go, I found myself often regretting it.
It was too cruel to not be able to meet Joo Kwon-oh whether I woke up in the morning, finished classes, or stayed up late at night.
I resented my past self for underestimating the three months, thinking it would be easy.
…But Joo Kwon-oh would probably adapt well anywhere, right? In fact, I don’t think he won’t be able to manage. I’m more worried about someone there making advances on him.
Sitting in the studio, thinking about Joo Kwon-oh and stalking his Instagram, I was reminded of the time I stalked Joo Kwon-oh at the beginning of the first semester this year. I’m not sure what’s different between then and now.
The only consolation is that we can at least have a short phone call every night before bed.
I checked the photo uploaded on Joo Kwon-oh’s Instagram feed the day before yesterday once again. I find myself looking at it whenever I have a chance. If it were a physical photo, the corners would be worn out by now.
A photo taken with colleagues at the office he’s working at. The smiling Joo Kwon-oh was wearing the watch strap I gave him as a gift.
And the Instagram profile picture he changed the day before his departure was a group photo taken at his apartment on his birthday. The frame captured Joo Kwon-oh with a stern expression, covered in whipped cream, and my brightly smiling face.
The feeling of regret disappears, melting away when I see that photo.
In the past, I might have felt burdened by such subtle displays, but now I don’t mind. Rather, I’m glad. It feels like Joo Kwon-oh has officially become mine.
…Am I becoming a pervert like Joo Kwon-oh?
“Ryu Jeong-ha, why are you grinning while looking at your phone first thing in the morning?”
“When, when did I?”
Kim Jae-hyun, passing by my seat, picked a fight. Hit right on the mark, I put my phone in my work clothes pocket.
“Are you dating?”
“……”
“You look like you’ve lost your mind.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Come on. It’s obvious you are.”
I picked up a pencil and started sketching, pretending I hadn’t heard anything. But Kim Jae-hyun’s interrogation continued.
“Be honest. You got a girlfriend, right?”
“……”
“There’s no other reason for you to smile like a pervert while looking at your phone.”
“…Is that not allowed?”
Kim Jae-hyun, who had been teasing me, paused at my words that came out without me realizing.
“Huh? Really? Who are you dating? Someone from our department?”
“N-no, not from our department.”
As I admitted it readily, Kim Jae-hyun’s mouth slowly opened. After adjusting his glasses that had slipped down, he shook his head.
“Bae Yu-rim too, everyone’s going crazy with dating. How are singles supposed to live?”
After that, Kim Jae-hyun, who had been sticking close and prying about who it was, soon lost interest and focused on his phone game when I repeatedly refused to tell him.
I was about to regret admitting that I was dating, but I felt deeply relieved when I saw Kim Jae-hyun’s reaction, which quieted down in less than thirty minutes.
Later, Bae Yu-rim also heard the news and just said a word of congratulations. Bae Yu-rim was quick-witted and knew I didn’t like mentioning this topic, so she didn’t ask for details.
A few hours passed, and I stretched and looked around. Students listening to music, looking at their phones, drawing while eating bread, dozing off while sitting. The scene of everyone focusing on their own tasks, indifferent to external stimuli, looked very peaceful.
Just a day after confessing the fact that I was dating, we had returned to our usual daily routine of working in the studio.
Thanks to this, I too was able to focus entirely on my sketch at some point.
People were less interested in me than I thought. To them, I was just one of many ordinary students in a relationship.
It felt strange yet good to be included in that range of normalcy.
*
[Choi Kyung-won: Jeong-ha, what have you been up to these days?]
I received a KakaoTalk message from Choi Kyung-won while I was buried in assignments in the studio. It was the first contact since the birthday party. And it was a private message, no less.
I was particularly puzzled by his contact since we didn’t have any overlapping general education classes this semester. I wondered if something was up.
[Me: Diligently attending school T_T]
[Choi Kyung-won: hahahaha]
[Choi Kyung-won: It’s already been almost a month since the semester started OMG]
[Me: I know. Time flies haha]
[Choi Kyung-won: Are you at school now??]
[Me: Yeah]
Wondering what he was going to say, I put down my brush and focused on the chat window.
[Choi Kyung-won: In the team I’m participating in for a competition]
[Choi Kyung-won: We have a design we made but it feels a bit lacking]
[Choi Kyung-won: I was wondering if you could review it haha]
[Choi Kyung-won: Ah, if you’re busy you can pass]
By design review, does he mean PowerPoint design? Or portfolio design for a proposal?
Actually, even in the painting department, we have assignments that include updating portfolios from time to time, so I knew how to handle basic tools to some extent.
Although I wasn’t skilled enough to boast about it.
[Me: The visual design department would be better for that.. The painting department is a bit different from media design T_T]
[Choi Kyung-won: You’re the only art student I know who’s at school right now]
[Choi Kyung-won: Since I asked suddenly]
[Choi Kyung-won: It’s okay if you refuse haha]
[Me: I’m not that good at Photoshop, but is that okay?]
[Choi Kyung-won: Yeah!! It doesn’t matter. Just need to look and give your opinion haha]
I was happy to hear from Choi Kyung-won, and if possible, I wanted to be of help, so I said okay for now.
[Choi Kyung-won: Come to the bench at the entrance of the central library when you have time]
[Choi Kyung-won: We’re going to eat at 1, so just come before then]
Right away like this?
It was surprising that he was asking to meet in real-time without any prior appointment, but I decided to go along with it since it was Choi Kyung-won.
[Me: Okay]
As soon as I finished KakaoTalk, I took off my work clothes and left the studio, partly to get some fresh air.
When I reached the central library, I could see the competition team gathered on the entrance bench as Choi Kyung-won had said.
As I was checking the faces of the people talking about various things with a laptop on the bench table, I froze in place.
For a very brief moment, I seriously considered running back to the studio.
Because, of all people, Lee Sung-rok sunbae was part of that competition team.
I had forgotten about his existence as I had been attending school normally for a while.
Come to think of it, Lee Sung-rok and Choi Kyung-won were in the same business department, and they were close enough to hang out together often despite being in different years.
It was my mistake to have forgotten that and come here without thinking. I should have asked who would be there before coming…!
“Oh? Jeong-ha! Over here! You came early?”
Just as I was timing my retreat, Choi Kyung-won, who had spotted me again with an uncanny ability, waved his hand and greeted me cheerfully.
As always, being a beat slower than Choi Kyung-won, I found myself in a situation where I had no choice but to face Lee Sung-rok sunbae.
I could feel Lee Sung-rok sunbae’s head turning towards me.
I clenched my fists, took a deep breath, and approached the bench.
“You came early? Thanks for making time, Jeong-ha.”
“Y-yeah.”
