#Side Story 15
The second meeting between mother and son took place in an awkward atmosphere. Since neither wanted to see each other again, this accidental face-to-face encounter seemed like a prank of chance.
“I’ll pay the hospital bills, so don’t worry.”
“……”
“I didn’t know this accident would happen either.”
“I haven’t said anything yet.”
Caught between Hwi-kyung and Ji-ae, Gyo-ha was having a miserable time stuck between a mother and son who couldn’t have a normal conversation. They say similar people have difficulty getting close to each other. True to their relationship, both had similar avoidant tendencies.
A conversation could only be established if at least one person actively opened their mouth, but neither was ever the first to speak. Gyo-ha was overwhelmed with the urge to jump between them and have the conversation on their behalf.
“I’ll pay the hospital bills. I have money saved up, and no matter how estranged we are, I don’t want to be cold to someone who’s had an accident.”
“I can pay my own hospital bills. It’s not something you need to worry about.”
“Why do you always talk like that? I know you came back to Korea because you’re short on money.”
“…Who told you that?”
“I heard that last time you came asking Grandmother for help too.”
A woman who fled overseas fearing she might kill her son had few options without connections. Ji-ae had moved from country to country before finding work as a factory worker in a Vietnamese textile plant. It was a job that required perseverance and diligence rather than specialized skills.
Fortunately, factory work suited Ji-ae well. Life abroad wasn’t easy, as always, but with a small but steady income, she didn’t go hungry. Though she couldn’t help Hwi-kyung when she heard Ok-ja was sick—as she could barely take care of herself—Ji-ae hadn’t lived on handouts from others during that time.
Then the factory where she worked shut down. It was a sudden closure. Finding a new job wasn’t easy, and she didn’t have enough money to keep wandering. Without work, staying overseas became difficult. If she couldn’t renew her visa due to her different nationality, she would become an illegal resident.
So Ji-ae returned to Korea. She went to Ok-ja to borrow money, despite her shame, but met her son whom she least wanted to see, then fled again only to repeatedly return due to money and visa issues.
The accident happened in an instant. Who could have known she would be hit by a car that suddenly appeared from an alley? As if receiving all at once the calamity she had fled from Korea to avoid, Ji-ae found herself in an unexpected accident.
Hwi-kyung, who inadvertently became Ji-ae’s guardian, also learned of her history that he hadn’t known before. This was because Ok-ja confessed with an embarrassed face that she had provided financial help several times. At this point, he felt more bewildered than angry.
Hwi-kyung, knowing nothing, couldn’t understand why Ji-ae had wandered abroad. No matter how much she disliked Korea, how could it make sense to suddenly go overseas without any preparation and wander for such a long time?
Only then did Hwi-kyung feel like having a proper conversation with Ji-ae. He wanted to hear her explanation, whatever it might be, for why she had lived that way.
“Gyo-ha.”
“Yes?”
“I think we need to talk alone for a moment. Could you leave us briefly?”
Gyo-ha, awkwardly stuck between mother and son like a borrowed sack of barley, quickly took many steps back at Hwi-kyung’s dismissal. If Hwi-kyung had decided to talk to Ji-ae first, it was a good development for Gyo-ha.
When the hospital room door closed, leaving just the two of them, Hwi-kyung pulled up a chair and sat in front of Ji-ae. It had been a very long time since he had faced Ji-ae like this. Hwi-kyung’s life timeline had expanded several times due to regression, and his childhood memories were blurry unless he made an effort to recall them.
“Mom.”
To put this title in his mouth again. His mouth felt rough, as if the word was covered in thorns.
“I’m getting married soon.”
“Yes. I know.”
“I’m not going to invite you. And you probably don’t want to come either.”
“Right.”
“But given the situation, I felt I should say something. Even now I want to just get up and run away, but I can’t. If I run away like you did…”
“……”
“Then it feels like it would be over forever. So I’ll just ask one thing.”
What exactly is family? Throughout this brief conversation, Hwi-kyung wanted to jump up and flee countless times. He couldn’t comfortably face his mother who had once been his everything.
“Did I ruin your life?”
That was the essence of the trauma that had gripped Hwi-kyung’s entire life. That always tired-looking face even in those blurry memories. Thinking of Ji-ae struggling through all sorts of jobs to survive each day, Hwi-kyung felt his very existence was an element that destroyed others’ lives.
But he could never ask Ji-ae such a question. Ji-ae already looked exhausted even without Hwi-kyung pestering her. So the young Hwi-kyung never asked her anything.
But now Hwi-kyung was no longer the child who had died and come back to life countless times. He had lived well without Ji-ae until now. He had other family who supported him unchanged, and once he got married, he would have a new family.
During his stormy adolescence, he had resented Ji-ae, but as an adult, Hwi-kyung was fine without her. He even wished that Ji-ae would live her own life without ever getting entangled with him again.
“No.”
Ji-ae answered with a gaunt face. Wanting Hwi-kyung to revive was entirely Ji-ae’s selfish desire. Ji-ae, who had been meaninglessly rubbing her dry face, soon opened her mouth as if she had made a decision.
“The first time you died was when you were five.”
A long confession began.
Ji-ae still didn’t have the courage to reveal everything. But Hwi-kyung also had the right to know why Ji-ae had to leave him.
“I don’t know how my wish came true, but I prayed for anything that would save you because I hoped you wouldn’t die. And then you came back to life.”
Hwi-kyung already knew what entity had granted that wish. But this was the first time he learned that the system window had been attached to Ji-ae before him. The cause of the immortality Hwi-kyung had never wanted lay there.
Ji-ae had made it so Hwi-kyung couldn’t die. The “You can’t die” that Ji-ae had said in his sporadic nightmares had been truly effective.
“When you die, time goes back, and you come back to life. So sometimes I thought about killing you and turning back time. Then I became frightened of having such thoughts.”
It wasn’t a fear that others could understand. Time goes back when my son dies. Who on earth would understand this fact? It was a miracle that she wasn’t dragged to a mental hospital.
“I ran away because I was afraid that someday I would kill you with my own hands.”
“……”
“You think it’s unbelievable, right? Sometimes I wondered if I was just crazy.”
But paradoxically, Hwi-kyung could understand Ji-ae the best. Hwi-kyung had also experienced repetitive regressions due to his own ‘wish.’
If time inevitably goes back to a certain point no matter what you do, a person becomes half-crazed. Just as Hwi-kyung had to helplessly watch Ok-ja’s death, Ji-ae also had no choice but to watch her son die.
Then at some point, losing touch with reality, she might have thought it would be better for him to die by her hands before dying for another reason, since time would go back anyway. Hwi-kyung understood what problem Ji-ae had fled from. Perhaps Hwi-kyung was the only one in this world who could understand Ji-ae. Mother and son resembled each other in unnecessary ways, even having similar regression experiences.
“No, I believe you.”
“You believe me?”
“I don’t think you’re lying.”
Hwi-kyung said this and stood up. This was enough conversation. Ji-ae looked relieved after sharing the secret she had harbored, and Hwi-kyung, even if he couldn’t accept it emotionally, acknowledged Ji-ae’s tragedy intellectually.
“Thank you for telling me today.”
“No, I…”
“I’ll come again next time.”
However, the gap that had already formed between family members couldn’t be completely sewn up with just one suture. Hwi-kyung moved out of the hospital room as if escaping, saying he would come again.
* * *
After hearing Ji-ae’s confession, Hwi-kyung was sick for three straight days. It was because stress symptoms manifested directly in his body.
When Hwi-kyung started getting sick, the wedding preparations actually proceeded smoothly. As if their spear and shield life of differences of opinion had never happened, Gyo-ha immediately yielded, saying they should do whatever Hwi-kyung wanted.
Don’t they say the one who loves more gives in? He didn’t want to add more work over something as trivial as dowry issues when his partner was sick.
“Can I really come?”
“Yes.”
“But…”
“I’m not asking you to sit in the parents’ seat. But since you’re in Korea anyway.”
Above all, Hwi-kyung reversed his statement that he would absolutely not invite his mother to the wedding. After much contemplation, he handed an invitation to Ji-ae.
Ji-ae refused once, but when Hwi-kyung offered the invitation again, she finally accepted it.
If his mother-in-law was indeed coming to the wedding, it was right to match Hwi-kyung’s taste. At least that’s what Gyo-ha thought. Since the two resembled each other in too many ways, tailoring the wedding to Hwi-kyung’s taste would likely please Ji-ae’s heart as well.
And so the wedding preparation battle of spear and shield came to an end.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
