113
Independence, Happiness, and Disloyalty
After some persuasion attempts, I finally retired.
Sebastian ostentatiously threw a retirement party for me. He was born to attract attention. The party guests even included the Director and Department Head. Wow, this guy really did manage to bring down Canaris.
“How have you been!”
Sebastian’s father, Michael, embraced me. Wait, Chairman. When we last parted, wasn’t the atmosphere a bit uncomfortable?
“Ah, my son-in-law. So handsome! Ha, the Riegel family has always had good looks! Look over there, there’s the proof!”
Michael was clearly already drunk. When he mentioned “proof of the Riegel family’s good looks,” I instinctively looked at Sebastian, and Michael put me in a headlock. Honestly, breaking free from this headlock would be simple, but he’s my father-in-law. How dare I break free?
Gack, gack…
As I made choking sounds for show, Michael whispered:
“Are you not thinking straight? ‘Proof of the Riegel family’s good looks’ obviously means your mother-in-law, not Sebastian.”
Ah, I’ll get it together!
Though Sebastian is the most beautiful to my eyes, people need social skills. I quickly shifted my gaze toward Mrs. Riegel. Mrs. Riegel, who was close enough to hear our conversation, gracefully walked over and smiled at me.
“I am the root. Understand?”
Ah, yes…
As I was bobbing like a sycophant, Director Andrea Dill was approaching. Well, it feels odd to call her Director. I’m no longer part of the Security Bureau anyway.
The Riegel family members made way when they saw the Director approaching me. I could see Saskia in the distance, moving away with an annoyed “What’s this?” expression. She probably wanted to talk to me but didn’t like Dill intervening. Well, which member of the Riegel family would have good feelings toward the Security Bureau?
Andrea Dill stopped in the space everyone had cleared. She looked impressive today as well. Her sparkling dress blended with her gleaming skin as if they were one.
Dill looked at me and sighed briefly. She started to speak, stopped, started again, stopped, and finally said:
“Honestly, I don’t understand you.”
Director Dill’s eyes looking at me were clear as always. She had finally won the war against Canaris and would soon be promoted. She’ll advance without obstacles. Someday when she enters politics, this incident will become a significant part of her career.
“Congratulations.”
“You could have received congratulations too, Mr. Schnieke.”
Catching Canaris, receiving congratulations, and getting promoted…
“If I hadn’t met Sebastian, I probably would have accepted congratulations. I needed money.”
Come to think of it, I haven’t thought about money for a while. I didn’t intend to depend on Sebastian, but looking back, I was leaning on him as if it were natural. He never offered to help me or asked me to repay him. His attitude was generally like “I’m taking measures because I need you.”
In other words, he’s not an outsider. All my affairs are his affairs. Just as all his pain is mine.
That has always made me happy.
“You’re still young—do you plan to live off your wealthy boyfriend?”
Dill seemed to think I was pathetic. Fair enough. I shifted my gaze to Nina Volkari behind Dill. She was talking with someone and was flawless from head to toe as usual. I didn’t notice at first, but from the moment I learned she was dating Dill, I could clearly see who Volkari lived for. To Volkari, Dill isn’t an ordinary lover. She’s almost a religion. Volkari imitates Dill’s tastes, appearance, and even gestures. Is such love healthy? I’m not sure. I don’t consider myself important enough to judge others’ relationships.
But I don’t think that love is flawless. So what I mean is:
“Yes, I plan to live off him. Well, it’s reassuring to see that when people are in relationships, they’re all not completely independent and live depending on each other.”
Dill followed my gaze, turned around, looked at Volkari once, and then looked back at me. Her face showed she’d taken a hit. Seeing that face, I realized: Dill found Volkari’s behavior somewhat troublesome or thought that direction wasn’t particularly good.
Either way, it’s not my business. I have no intention of getting involved with Security Bureau people anymore.
Dill suddenly raised her champagne glass and proposed a toast.
“To an independent life.”
Would Volkari want independence? From my perspective, Volkari wasn’t even thinking about the first letter of independence.
I raised my glass with hers and said:
“To each person’s happiness.”
I won’t be independent, and Sebastian would certainly be annoyed if I became independent, so why this unsolicited concern for others? Dill laughed seeing my expression.
“As the Security Bureau Director, I find you valuable, but as a friend, I like how you are now. I hope you’ll always be happy, Mr. Schnieke.”
It was a completely different smile from earlier.
I suddenly realized. Andrea Dill is the Security Bureau Director, and she had an appropriate attitude she needed to take with me. If someone asks about our meeting later, she’ll say, “I repeatedly advised Armin Schnieke to be independent from Riegel.” Only after having a conversation that allowed her to say that did she give me her blessing.
I could tell which was her true feeling just by looking at her face now. She was smiling brightly. She placed her champagne glass on a passing waiter’s tray and whispered to me, “Watch this.” With the tone of a queen declaring war, she crossed the floor without hesitation. She elegantly extracted Nina Volkari from a conversation.
As a new song began, she started dancing with Nina. With an attitude that seemed to say “to hell with outing.” Volkari, her passionate lover, looked surprised for a moment but soon danced looking only at Dill, as if forgetting everyone else present.
To happiness.
I felt as if Dill had toasted to my words. She’s an impressive woman. Though I wouldn’t want to work with her. As I was giggling, someone took the glass from my hand.
“We can’t lose either. Let’s go.”
Sebastian pulled me along. I don’t mind losing? Before I could say those words, I was dragged to the dance floor. Sebastian danced extremely well, and of course, I didn’t. Sebastian didn’t even blink when his feet were stepped on. But no matter how composed he remained, my terrible dancing skills couldn’t be covered, so eventually, he had to lead me off the floor.
As soon as we stepped down, we looked at each other and burst out laughing. Sebastian touched my cheek and whispered:
“We can’t win.”
His playful tone made it even funnier. The slight hint of frustration mixed in his tone made it funnier still.
“They’re a tank couple racing at full speed through the fire pit of ambition. Relaxed people like us can’t win.”
Sebastian burst into laughter at my words.
That night, I had a dream.
I was looking at a man’s back. Black, long hair. The long robe was definitely clothes Sebastian had worn before. The kind of clothing worn in some ancient Eastern country. The man had his back to me and was bathed in moonlight.
Ah, was moonlight ever this bright? The moon was so bright that the man’s hair and clothes sparkled. The man seemed to be saying something, but I couldn’t understand his words. His voice was low and elegant. When I couldn’t answer because I didn’t know what he was saying, the man turned to me and smiled.
Tears were flowing from his eyes.
Suddenly I thought:
I’m dying.
The dream gave me certainty about the situation without any explanation. I am dying. And I felt sorry for this man. What should I do? I had never considered the possibility of dying before this man. I thought perhaps, as he had said before, he might kill me before he died. Or even if he couldn’t kill me, he might order me to die. That would make me happy. There was no reason to live in a world without him.
I had always thought that since all my love and loyalty belonged to him, I couldn’t exist in a world without him. But now I’m dying first. That… shouldn’t happen. I had to stay by his side until the end. And heaven should naturally have given me such a fate.
But heaven never considers human circumstances, and now I am dying.
If he dies, I can die too, but if I die, what should he do?
“I have been… disloyal…”
I thought I should apologize. Words weren’t coming to my mind easily. It was impossible to pay for my sin. Because I would die soon. Just words of apology. That’s all I could offer.
But he was staring at me with wide eyes. He asked with disbelieving eyes:
“Disloyal?”
Tears fell from his eyes. They scattered like rain, falling on my face.
“Yeon-ah, disloyalty, between us… ‘Disloyalty’…”
He seemed hurt. I should make some excuse, but I had nothing to say. It was true that I had been disloyal. I felt dizzy and my eyes closed. No matter how hard I tried to open them, it was useless. I should say something other than disloyalty. But I don’t know any other words.
I couldn’t say it because I didn’t know.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
