# Chapter 6
Around lunch, Mugyeong left school before Haeseung and headed to the shooting range. Upon arrival, he performed core training to build isometric strength and practiced his posture before stepping onto the firing platform, where he concentrated on pulling the trigger for about two hours. After training, he received modest birthday congratulations from his coach and fellow athletes. A sweet slice of cream cake somewhat relieved the fatigue of his rigorous training. Mugyeong barely managed to decline invitations to dinner and hurriedly made his way home.
After eating the birthday dinner his mother had prepared, Mugyeong went up to his second-floor room and immediately reached for his smartphone. There was a message from Haeseung saying to come over if nothing special was happening. Just as he was about to leave after replying that he’d come right over, his gaze stopped on the black scarf. The childish provocation he’d attempted with Haeseung at school that morning—which had been more heartbreaking for its failure—naturally came to mind, and he felt bitter.
On his way up to the rooftop room, he ran into Haeseung’s sister on the stairs. Based on her tip that Haeseung seemed to have sold off the standee, Mugyeong laughed out loud and informed her that fortunately, the attempt had been thwarted.
When Mugyeong opened the door and entered the rooftop room, Haeseung was lying motionless on the bed. Unsure whether he was asleep or just lying still, Mugyeong approached closer and heard soft snoring. Perhaps because the tension from the college entrance exam had finally eased, Haeseung slept whenever he had the chance. Mugyeong tried hard not to look at Haeseung’s sleeping face, but his eyes kept being drawn in that direction, giving him trouble. He took out a comic book from the bookshelf and sat on the floor with his back against the bed. His posture thoroughly turned his back to the sleeping Haeseung.
How much time had passed? A thin moan escaping from Haeseung’s lips along with the sound of him tossing and turning touched Mugyeong’s sensitized hearing. When he turned to look, Haeseung was frowning as if in pain. Was he having a nightmare? Mugyeong withdrew the hand he had extended to wake Haeseung. A subtle pain concentrated in his groin pushed Mugyeong to the limits of his patience like a seizure. He sprang up from his seat and walked toward the door as if escaping.
“Where are you going?”
Haeseung’s voice, still heavy with sleep, held Mugyeong back. Turning around, he saw Haeseung looking at him with a puzzled expression.
“You’re awake?”
“When did you get here?”
“A little while ago. You were sleeping, so I was just going to leave…”
Haeseung cut off Mugyeong’s explanation with a long yawn, then stretched and sat up. Perhaps from the yawn, tears welled up at the corners of his eyes. The pain in Mugyeong’s groin, which he thought had receded, returned, forcing him to stand awkwardly with a flushed face.
“I fell asleep waiting for you. I bought a cake. Want some?”
“You bought it for me?”
Haeseung took out a cake box from the refrigerator, and Mugyeong, who had been standing in a daze, quickly set up a table. One long candle and nine short ones were stuck in the cake. The candles were lit, and the birthday song flowed awkwardly from Haeseung’s lips.
“Now, make a wish and blow out the candles.”
“I wish for Lee Haeseung to get accepted to university. And I wish he would grow up a bit. And…”
“…”
“And?”
“The last wish is a secret.”
The candles were extinguished in one breath. Mugyeong felt somewhat sorry to mention that he was full from having eaten a lot for dinner, and partly to show his appreciation for the gesture, he eagerly ate the cake.
“Just now, while sleeping, I had a dream.”
“A scary dream?”
Mugyeong asked, recalling how Haeseung had frowned and moaned softly in his sleep.
“I don’t know if ‘scary’ is the right word. It felt like I was in a movie.”
“What was it like?”
“I was on the phone with you when suddenly there was a tremendous noise and the house shook. I went outside in shock, and the whole world was…”
Haeseung stopped mid-sentence. When Mugyeong looked at him with a questioning gaze, he slowly continued.
“In ruins. Nothing and no one was left. I went downstairs and found that my family had disappeared too. But you were there.”
“So only you and I survived?”
“It seems so.”
“That’s strange. Why me of all people?”
Haeseung looked serious, but Mugyeong felt good, as if he had received special treatment.
“I don’t know. Anyway, we were worried about food, so we set off aimlessly together. The journey was truly tear-jerking, but fortunately, we found what looked like a department store. You know how in disaster movies, people always take refuge in shopping malls where there’s food? I guess the dream was influenced by that. We both wolfed down food together, but no matter how much I ate, I kept feeling hungry. It was so strange. Still feeling hungry even while eating. That’s when I woke up.”
“What? That’s just a meaningless dream. Haven’t you had dinner?”
“I just ate, didn’t I?”
Haeseung gestured toward the nearly finished cake.
“Why didn’t you go downstairs for a proper meal?”
“Too bothersome. And I didn’t have much of an appetite.”
For someone claiming to have no appetite, Haeseung ate the cake quite aggressively—to the point where Mugyeong judged he didn’t need to pretend to eat out of courtesy. Putting down his fork, Mugyeong began:
“I sometimes have strange dreams too.”
“What kind of dreams?”
“In the dream, I’m the crown prince of a vast empire with tremendous power. Everyone except the emperor and empress prostrate themselves at my feet, bowing their heads, and to me, this situation feels completely natural. I am, after all, the one and only crown prince of the empire. One day, a prince from a neighboring country is captured as a prisoner of war and…”
Mugyeong broke off and furrowed his brow.
“…and?”
“I can’t quite remember the rest.”
“What?”
After clearing the table, the two lay side by side on the floor. Glow-in-the-dark stars that the previous college student tenant had stuck on were sparsely attached to the ceiling. Among them was even the Big Dipper, which looked quite impressive when viewed with the lights off.
“Do you remember that college student sister who used to live here before?”
Haeseung also seemed to be thinking about the glow-in-the-dark stars as he brought up the story of that college student.
“Yeah, I remember.”
“She was interested in you, did you know?”
“Well, sort of.”
“Actually, I kind of liked her. That’s why I knew she was interested in you.”
Mugyeong’s chest tightened. This was something he never wanted to hear directly from Haeseung’s lips. Mugyeong had known that Haeseung liked that college student. How could he not know such a simple fact when his eyes had always followed only Haeseung? When she moved out last spring, Mugyeong wanted to shout with joy. It had been a brief recovery period for him until Haeseung got a new girlfriend a month later. Unaware of everything, Haeseung had cruelly suggested they all have a meal together with his girlfriend. Mugyeong had created various excuses to thwart that gathering several times.
“Do you perhaps remember the girl I liked in kindergarten? Her name was Mina.”
As Haeseung’s romantic history poured out one after another, Mugyeong’s expression gradually hardened. Mugyeong’s memories, which revolved mainly around Haeseung, easily retrieved the girl who had been buried under the sediment of time. She was a tall girl who spoke more maturely than her peers. But Mugyeong pretended not to know and shook his head.
“I don’t know. I barely remember even attending kindergarten.”
“That’s too much. Mina even gave you a scarf as a birthday present.”
“Did she?”
While Mugyeong remembered “Mina,” whom Haeseung had liked, he genuinely couldn’t recall receiving a scarf from her. It was so long ago that not remembering wasn’t a big deal. Especially if the incident of receiving a scarf from that girl wasn’t connected to Haeseung, it wasn’t even something he needed to remember.
“Back then, I also prepared a scarf as your gift.”
Mugyeong was surprised. He prided himself on remembering almost everything about Haeseung, but he swore he had never received a scarf from him.
“But I never received it.”
“Because I didn’t give it to you.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to.”
“But why? Did I bully you that day or something?”
Haeseung shook his head with a smile. The two had fought a lot, especially in kindergarten. They both had temperaments where if they received one hit, they’d return it tenfold.
Haeseung sat up. Mugyeong’s gaze naturally followed Haeseung. Haeseung rummaged around in his bag, pulled something out, and handed it to Mugyeong without saying “take it.” Mugyeong sat up and received it with a bewildered expression.
“What’s this? Is it for me?”
Haeseung nodded as if to say “why ask such an obvious question,” and Mugyeong immediately unwrapped it. It was a black scarf. Haeseung smiled awkwardly, looking somewhat shy. Mugyeong looked at Haeseung with surprised eyes.
“Is this possibly the one from kindergarten, the one you didn’t give me then? How has it survived until now…?”
“I bought it yesterday.”
“Ah…”
“The one I was going to give you in kindergarten was pink.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you bought me a black one this time.”
Haeseung nodded slightly, hesitated for a moment, then spoke.
“I never understood why I didn’t want to give it to you back then, but I finally realized it today.”
“…”
“I think I was jealous. I wanted my gift to be, at least for you, a one-of-a-kind special present, but it became a common gift instead, which probably made me sulky. Even in kindergarten, you received a scarf from Mina and liked it, just like you did today. Just like today, you wrapped the scarf around yourself right there and asked me if it looked good on you.”
The word “jealousy” that flowed from Haeseung’s lips sounded unfamiliar. Despite it being an emotion Mugyeong had harbored toward Haeseung for almost his entire life, it felt remarkably alien. He began to doubt whether “jealousy” was indeed the emotion he knew so well. It was confusing that this word, pronounced by Haeseung in a casual tone, was the emotion that had been tormenting Mugyeong for so long, even until now. Mugyeong felt his heart pounding fiercely.
Did you get jealous because you liked me? Swallowing the question that was about to burst out, Mugyeong tried to see things from Haeseung’s perspective. Though he had almost lost his composure, he could still correctly judge that Haeseung’s words were not a confession of love. Fortunately, he hadn’t gone mad yet. Mugyeong was proud of himself for not hastily misunderstanding. On the other hand, he also felt a bit resentful toward Haeseung for articulating words that could invite such misunderstandings so nicely and eloquently.
“How does it look? Does it suit me?”
Mugyeong wrapped the scarf around his neck and asked.
“It suits you well, but maybe pink would have been better.”
“Did you really get jealous over something like that? How cute.”
“It wasn’t jealousy.”
“You just said it was.”
“You must have heard wrong.”
Mugyeong moved closer to Haeseung, very close. Perhaps due to Mugyeong’s sudden movement or the proximity that left almost no space between them, Haeseung’s gaze wavered precariously. The sweet scent of cake wafted from Haeseung.
“No, I heard correctly.”
Even Mugyeong hadn’t expected the deep resonance in his voice, which made even the air feel like it was sinking endlessly. Haeseung, with frightened eyes, kept emanating the scent of cake. Mugyeong wanted to lick Haeseung with the tip of his tongue, as if licking cream.
“Alright, I get it, now move aside.”
Haeseung grumbled as he became conscious of the almost-touching distance and backed away slightly. Mugyeong looked at him and asked playfully:
“Did you succeed?”
“With what?”
Instead of speaking, Mugyeong made a meaningful gesture towards Haeseung’s central region. Haeseung’s earlobes turned bright red.
“I don’t know, I haven’t tried since then. Why are you suddenly asking?”
“Just curious.”
“Mind your own business. Don’t be curious. Forget about it.”
Haeseung almost whimpered. Mugyeong retreated with a smirk.
“Let’s play a round of Go-Stop.”
“Sure.”
The board was quickly set, and the cards were precisely dealt. For the first five rounds or so, the stakes moved back and forth in small amounts. Then, in the sixth round, Haeseung completely cleaned out Mugyeong’s pockets with a “three go,” a full set of “pi” cards, a full set of “gwang” cards, and a fancy “shake.” Haeseung wore an apologetic expression as he took the money, but his eyes were sparkling more brightly than ever before. Mugyeong declined the consolation prize and watched with content as Haeseung hastily gathered up the money. He resolved to lose enough money to make Haeseung forget about getting a part-time job. While he couldn’t interfere with Haeseung’s personal life, he comforted himself that undertaking covert operations to change his financial situation wouldn’t be wrong.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
