# Chapter 15
“Should I call the doctor?”
“No, there’s no need.”
Haeseung finally realized how frustrating it is to watch someone who refuses to act like a proper patient. He felt sorry for his noona who had suffered a lot these past few days because of Haeseung’s stubborn insistence on acting as if he weren’t a patient.
“Are you really okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Then can I make my wish?”
Haeseung asked while looking at Mugyeong, whose face appeared much more comfortable as if the pain had subsided. It wasn’t exactly a victory earned through fair means, but a promise was still a promise. A flicker of amazement crossed Mugyeong’s eyes, apparently surprised by Haeseung’s audacity. But he quickly regained his composure, as if Haeseung’s shamelessness was nothing new.
“Say it as long as it’s within reasonable boundaries.”
“And I should maintain some basic manners too?”
“You know it well.”
Haeseung mindlessly munched on snacks. They were salty. The flavor was mysteriously complex, not immediately appealing. Above all, it seemed far too salty for a patient to be eating.
“By the way, who bought these snacks?”
“While you were sleeping earlier, the guys came by.”
“Why didn’t they wait to see me?”
“They did see you. While you were sleeping.”
Perhaps due to the chaotic dreams he’d had, Haeseung felt like he’d been dozing lightly, but apparently he’d fallen into a deep sleep. Haeseung put down the snacks and brushed the crumbs from his hands. It was time to properly state his wish. In Haeseung’s opinion, Mugyeong absolutely needed to prioritize rest.
“You want to recover quickly and get discharged, right?”
Haeseung started with a question.
“No, I actually like being hospitalized with you like this.”
“I’ll be discharged much earlier than you.”
“I’m going to get discharged when you do.”
“You’ve got big dreams. Then just do what the hospital tells you. Absolutely don’t do what they forbid, and make sure to do what they say. That’s my wish.”
“That’s a strange wish.”
Mugyeong tilted his head.
“There’s nothing strange about it. Simply put, I’m telling you not to fool around, and this is all for your own good. Right now you’re lying down quietly because you can’t move well, but once you start feeling better, it’s obvious what kind of trouble you’ll cause. Remember my words. What’s my wish again?”
“Do what the hospital says…”
“Good. Let’s get some sleep first? Sleeping a lot helps recovery.”
Haeseung adjusted Mugyeong’s backrest using the bed remote. Mugyeong, now lying completely flat, looked up at Haeseung with a face that clearly showed the frustration of losing his freedom.
“I’ve been sleeping all week so I can’t fall asleep.”
“You might think so, but it’s not actually like that. If you close your eyes, sleep will come. I’ve fallen asleep countless times just intending to close my eyes for a moment. That’s how hospitals are. I think they must spray something like sleeping gas in the air to control patients like you.”
Haeseung spoke as if he were an expert with years of hospital experience, and Mugyeong, poor soul, listened attentively to this nonsense with eyes that looked up to a life mentor. But perhaps it wasn’t complete nonsense, as Mugyeong’s breathing soon grew steady.
Haeseung closed the book he had been reading and quietly gazed at Mugyeong’s sleeping face. Without anyone’s interference, he freely appreciated Mugyeong’s face and became lost in thought.
Haeseung recalled Mugyeong’s confession. Since receiving it, Haeseung had often thought about it. No, in truth, there hadn’t been a single day he wasn’t troubled by its weight. Occasionally, the confession seemed like such a trivial matter, and at those times, suspicions that Mugyeong’s feelings might be shallow and temporary would arise, making Haeseung feel somewhat relieved. But after some time, his worries would always return to square one.
Just as Haeseung was about to look away, Mugyeong opened his eyes, and their gazes met. The strange thing was that there was none of that typical slow blinking of someone who had just woken up. Mugyeong stared at Haeseung with clear and intense eyes, as if he had been awake the entire time. Haeseung felt overwhelmed, unable to avoid his gaze or speak up easily.
“…What are you looking at?”
That was all Haeseung could finally manage to say.
“Why did you run away earlier?”
A serious question without any hint of humor flew at Haeseung. He suddenly realized that his silent exit from the room must have looked like “running away” to Mugyeong. If he denied running away, Mugyeong would probably become even more convinced that Haeseung had indeed fled.
“I urgently needed the bathroom.”
“You’re lying.”
“It’s true.”
“Then why didn’t you answer my calls?”
“…”
“Why did you ignore my messages?”
When Haeseung had “run away,” he was certain Mugyeong would call him. Nevertheless, he deliberately tried not to pay attention to his smartphone. He allowed Mugyeong’s interest and obsession to pile up like evidence in the form of numerous missed calls and messages. Although it wasn’t done with clear intent, the result was that it completely confirmed these things—namely, Mugyeong’s interest and obsession.
Was Haeseung’s purpose, then, to test the extent of Mugyeong’s obsession? No. Haeseung just wanted to escape. The situation of having to push Mugyeong away with calculations that this won’t work for this reason, and that won’t work for that reason, was indescribably sad and burdensome.
Haeseung noticed the nearly empty IV bag.
“Your IV needs to be changed. I’ll call the nurse.”
Mugyeong continued to stare only at Haeseung.
“Lee Haeseung.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t run away from me. If you run, I have no choice but to chase after you.”
A hunter doesn’t care about prey he has already captured. If Haeseung was simply stimulating Mugyeong’s hunting instinct, perhaps staying quietly by his side would be the best course of action.
“And what will you do after catching me?”
Haeseung finally couldn’t contain his pitifully pure curiosity. For an instant, he had the illusion that Mugyeong’s eyes gleamed.
“I’ll tie you up tightly by my side so you can never run away again.”
“You, take it easy.”
A nurse entered with a new IV. She replaced the IV bag and asked Mugyeong how he was feeling. Mugyeong answered that he was fine in a voice that genuinely sounded fine. At this moment, if someone asked Haeseung the same question, he probably wouldn’t be able to say he was fine. He felt as if something was crushing a part of his body.
***
Haeseung had changed.
The vague suspicion that had made Mugyeong anxious on the first day after waking from his coma had solidified into certainty after three days. Mugyeong spent his days observing Haeseung, and the more he watched, the clearer the cause of the change became, making it pointless to consider any other possibilities.
Simply put, Haeseung was being shy around Mugyeong. Without going far back in time, just until the end of last year, Haeseung had changed clothes in front of Mugyeong without any hesitation. When Mugyeong first saw Haeseung heading to the bathroom with fresh patient clothes, he casually assumed Haeseung was going to shower. But Haeseung really just came out after changing clothes.
That wasn’t all. When their eyes met, Haeseung would either smile awkwardly or awkwardly avert his gaze—one of the two. Of course, there were also times when he’d smile awkwardly and then subtly look away.
One day, they both reached for the TV remote at the same time, and when their hands touched, Haeseung reacted as if he’d touched a cockroach. His reaction at that time was definitely one of shock.
But it’s not just these things that make Mugyeong fuss about Haeseung having changed.
“Um…”
“Huh? What?”
When Mugyeong spoke to him, Haeseung startled excessively. It seemed like either he hadn’t expected Mugyeong to speak to him at all, or, quite the opposite, he had been waiting for Mugyeong to say something. This was the biggest change Mugyeong felt: Haeseung seemed reluctant to converse with Mugyeong.
“I finished all three volumes… volume four?”
“Oh, wait a second.”
Haeseung handed Mugyeong not just volume four but two books at once, including volume five. With this, Mugyeong lost any excuse to speak to Haeseung again. Mugyeong accepted the books with a bitter expression.
“Thank you.”
Haeseung barely nodded in response and immediately turned his attention back to his book. Except for eating and sleeping, Haeseung spent almost all day reading martial arts novels. Thanks to that, Mugyeong also borrowed and read the books Haeseung was reading.
At first, Mugyeong started reading pretending to be engrossed in the book, thinking Haeseung found his very existence burdensome. While his attention was still focused on Haeseung, outwardly he appeared to be reading, so it was a kind of disguise. But as he casually turned the pages, he eventually became completely immersed in the book. The adventures unfolding in the novel were thrilling, but the joy of connecting with Haeseung by reading the same book satisfied Mugyeong even more.
The two spent their days making only the sounds of breathing and turning pages. The hospital staff openly appreciated having such well-behaved patients for the first time.
Mugyeong, who had lived a life far removed from books, often fell asleep while reading as if he had fainted. Even now, he was on the verge of passing out. Just as Mugyeong’s head, which had been resisting with all its might, dropped with a nod, a sound like someone trying hard not to laugh tickled his ear.
Mugyeong’s eyes flew open as if he had heard a gunshot. Haeseung, who had been watching Mugyeong, jumped in surprise, hurriedly erased his smile, and turned his head away. Just when Mugyeong thought he had gotten somewhat used to it, Haeseung’s behavior continued to perplex him each time, making him wish for a bottle of soju to gulp down if one were available.
“If you’re sleepy, just crash and sleep.”
This time it was Mugyeong who jumped in surprise. He had thought Haeseung would ignore him, but unexpectedly, Haeseung had spoken to him. Trying not to show his delight, Mugyeong straightened his posture. Even during his momentary doze, the book had remained gripped in his fingertips.
“The martial arts techniques are so complicated… I dozed off for a moment.”
“Volume four is a bit boring. It gets interesting again in volume five.”
Since it was a ten-volume series, Mugyeong figured they would finish reading it around the time Haeseung was discharged. Haeseung had already finished volume six and was taking out volume seven. Mugyeong was determined to somehow prevent Haeseung from immersing himself in the book before it was too late.
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“Not really.”
“What’s a ‘small dragon bun’? The people in the book are always eating those.”
“It’s a kind of dumpling.”
“Should we order Chinese food?”
“Kang Mugyeong. What was my wish again?”
Mugyeong recalled Haeseung’s words to do exactly what the hospital instructed and closed his mouth. At first, he had thought it was just a trivial wish, but that was a grave miscalculation. Compared to Mugyeong, Haeseung had relatively more freedom of movement and seemed to sneak out to secretly indulge in snacks, but Mugyeong was confined to eating only hospital food. Consequently, Mugyeong was always hungry. An hour ago, Haeseung had returned from somewhere with the smell of tteokbokki and fried food clinging to his clothes. Haeseung pretended not to know he was giving off these scents, acting completely innocent.
Despite the joy of being with Haeseung, which occasionally made him overlook other feelings, the hospital was boring, and his restricted body felt frustrating, as if he were under restraint. Mugyeong lived under the domination of only his appetite, need for sleep, and sexual desire. In the morning when he woke up, his center would also rise vigorously, and at night just before falling asleep, his center would invariably become large and hard. The evidence of sexual energy that used to be released through masturbation almost daily was now trapped inside, fermenting into highly concentrated protein.
The stress accumulated from not being able to exercise could never be relieved by sitting quietly and reading books. Haeseung probably didn’t know that Mugyeong was looking at the novel’s protagonist, who flew around freely shooting air blasts in the martial arts world, with envy and jealousy.
As these various thoughts prolonged, a complex sigh involuntarily escaped from Mugyeong’s lips.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
