As soon as he spotted the library, set slightly apart from the main building, a dry laugh slipped out. The Center Library—second only to the Gwangseong Library in size—was known for its pristine white pillars that shimmered like something sacred under the sun.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to look at all.
The building glowed so red it looked like it was on fire, the entire structure visibly flushed even from a distance. How was it that no one had noticed? Energy this intense would be suffocating even to those who couldn’t perceive it directly—like drowning in invisible pressure. How had it been left to fester this long?
He took a deep breath. Just like before, Delroz would be in there, likely on the verge of losing control. Whether Banteon could do anything about it was uncertain. Every time he saw him, Delroz’s condition had changed. There was no telling how much their matching rate had shifted during the two weeks apart, nor could he be sure Delroz was even lucid.
It was more serious than when he’d found Delroz collapsed in the bushes—chances were high that he wasn’t in his right mind. Signs of an impending rampage from the very center of the Center—this was on a whole new level of disastrous. Banteon popped three suppressant pills into his dry mouth and began to chew slowly, without water.
Though this reduced the efficiency of his Guiding, it would at least keep him from getting swept up and losing consciousness in Delroz’s explosive aura. He didn’t like the idea of needing to Guide for longer, but if he lost control now, it could cost him his life.
As he approached the library, he scanned his surroundings, but no one else was around. A stark contrast to the unaffected main building. Even if the staff inside couldn’t feel it, anyone who got near Delroz’s presence would instinctively keep their distance. The Center wasn’t just home to Espers; there were also Guides and unawakened civilian employees—people who might as well have been ordinary. And even they were avoiding this place.
Stepping over the crimson marble floor and past red-tinted windows, Banteon walked toward the deeper, darker red that pulsed ahead. He must’ve gotten pretty close by now. In the center of a space that shimmered purple like a molten mass, jet-black hair and gleaming, feral golden eyes came into view.
At least he was still conscious.
“Delroz.”
The eyes that had been staring blankly ahead began to stir at the sound of his name. Like the sluggish movement of air, they wandered slowly until they settled on Banteon.
“This one’s pretty convincing.”
Delroz’s voice dismissed the scene as an illusion. Banteon shook his head. Though his eyes were open, he was already seeing things that weren’t there. If his vision fully drowned in the hallucination, he’d spiral into a rampage. Right now, he was holding on with sheer willpower.
“Can you hear me? I’m coming closer, but you need to stay still.”
He’d already taken the suppressant, so it shouldn’t be too dangerous, but just in case, it was best for him to maintain control of the situation. Delroz blinked slowly, as if he didn’t understand.
“You’re coming closer? You to me?”
“Yeah.”
“…Why?”
The question wasn’t particularly complicated, but Delroz frowned and looked at Banteon like he was a stranger. When Banteon didn’t move, Delroz’s expression crumpled.
“Of course you’re not really coming. You hate me.”
He was clearly out of it. Banteon had seen Delroz drained of energy more than once, but never with that heartbreakingly fragile expression. Even when he’d approached him recklessly without a shred of pride, he hadn’t looked like this.
“I don’t hate you.”
“Then why did you disappear without a word?”
“I didn’t run away.”
“You’ve no idea what went through my head when I saw your empty bed.”
Delroz muttered to himself, ignoring Banteon’s reply. Banteon let out a sigh, finally understanding the situation. That volatile mind was spiraling downward fast.
“You’re probably regretting sleeping with me under the influence. Can’t even stand to see me again.”
From Delroz’s perspective, the person he’d spent the night with had vanished without a trace. Banteon had assumed the Center Director handled it all neatly, but clearly, that wasn’t what Delroz believed.
“So that’s why you didn’t call? You just let it get to this point?”
“What was I supposed to say? Beg you to save me? If pleading like that would’ve kept you by my side, I’d have done it hundreds of times by now.”
“But I wouldn’t just let you lose control.”
“Of course not. You’re kind, after all.”
Funny. Before, he’d been called heartless. Now, suddenly, he was the kind one. The contradiction made him sigh. Trying to have a proper conversation with someone who wasn’t in their right mind—what a fool’s errand.
Even while exchanging fragmented words with Delroz, Banteon continued moving forward slowly. He didn’t intend to make contact too soon. Ever since Delroz became aware of Banteon’s presence, the red energy that had been radiating outward had started converging on him instead.
Quietly, he neutralized it, taking his time. Just like the first time they met, he avoided direct contact and gently disrupted the flow of energy to dissipate it. The efficiency was so poor it was practically wasted effort—but still better than touching him.
Thankfully, he wasn’t feeling any dizziness or fatigue yet. He needed to keep this up slowly, draw it out. The suppressant kept him conscious amidst the raging aura, but it came at a cost—he couldn’t guide effectively. In the end, he’d have to make contact, but until Delroz regained some sense of self, all he could do was buy time from a distance.
Talking to him was the only way to keep him anchored. If Delroz’s rate of rampage outpaced the guiding process, then it’d all be for nothing. So Banteon had to keep talking.
“You think I’m kind?”
“Yeah. Just not to me. You’re only heartless when it comes to me, but to everyone else, you’re always kind.”
That smile was just for appearances. There was no need for Banteon to put on a front with Delroz, so he simply treated him as he was. In truth, Banteon’s nature was far removed from kindness, warmth, or compassion. His courteous demeanor was nothing more than a learned behavior, adopted solely to gain others’ favor.
“Do you want me to be kind to you, too?”
“…No.”
The reply came after a pause. After accusing him of being cold only to him, Delroz now said he didn’t want it. His golden eyes quivered, then settled.
“I like you just the way you are… otherwise, I might not be able to handle it.”
“What exactly are you trying to endure? You want to lock me away again? So other Espers won’t see me?”
The deep, red energy that had resembled a pulsating mass of purple began to dissolve, as if diluted in water. It wasn’t safe to go any closer. Banteon pulled over a nearby chair and sat down. The density of the aura was beginning to make him lightheaded.
“…Yeah. That was part of it. But it’s okay. I can endure that.”
“What’s the one thing you really can’t endure?”
Delroz raised his head. The murky gold in his eyes shimmered suddenly, catching the light. His gaze pierced through the red energy with startling clarity, locking onto Banteon. He pressed his lips together before slowly parting them.
“You’re real.”
“…”
He was grateful Delroz had come back to his senses, but at the same time, there was a frustrating sense that they’d missed the crucial moment. Why now, of all times?
“The fake you never asks me stuff like this. In the illusions, you always act like you know exactly what I want… you come so close, almost touch me, and then disappear. Even in my dreams, you drive me insane.”
“Sorry about that.”
It wasn’t something he’d done himself, but since it had clearly hurt, apologizing didn’t cost him anything. He shrugged as he spoke with detached indifference, and Delroz rotated his stiff neck, loosening it up.
“What’s with your condition? Your matching rate with that new Guide wasn’t bad.”
“Right. That Guide of yours…”
His expression turned grim as the memory finally surfaced. Delroz bared his teeth with a low snarl. He pushed himself up from where he’d been slouched against the wall, legs unsteady but quickening into sharp steps. His briefly clear golden eyes turned cloudy again. The energy rippled violently, losing control once more.
“You stuck me with that kind of Guide and ran off?!”
“Wait—don’t come any closer.”
“And why the hell should I listen to that? So you can disappear again?”
“Stop!”
The distance between them shrank rapidly. Before Banteon could fully stop him, Delroz grabbed him by the arm and yanked him forward. His head spun. The surge in energy density threw his balance off, and he stumbled into Delroz’s broad chest.
“Don’t run away.”
“You can’t touch me right now. Calm down.”
“Just a little… just let me touch you a little. That much should be okay…”
Just for a second. Just for a moment. Delroz whispered the words as he lowered his head, brushing his cheek against Banteon’s hair. His face slipped down from the strands and pressed against skin. Cupping Banteon’s pale cheeks in both hands, he dove in, forcing his way into his mouth.
“You… mm—”
His lips were rough, scraping insistently against the delicate inner lining as they ground into him. He clung tightly to Banteon’s torso to keep him from escaping, biting down with suffocating pressure.
“Why isn’t the Guiding working…”
The low murmur was filled with frustration. A Guide who had taken suppressants could still Guide, but it trickled out in minuscule drops—like a faucet barely dripping. Unaware of this, Delroz grew more desperate to quench his thirst, digging deeper in search of release.
While kissing him hard enough to take his breath away, Delroz’s hand moved over Banteon’s back. It was a primal act of desperation, trying to increase contact by any means necessary. His fingers slipped under the jacket, tugging at the shirt tucked into his pants. A bare palm skimmed the exposed back. The heat of his hand against his spine sent a shudder down Banteon’s entire body.
The unmistakable sexual intent behind the touch made his shoulders tremble.
“Even if I told you to stop, you wouldn’t listen, would you… ha…”
The suppressant hadn’t made him lose consciousness, but the real problem was that he remained fully aware and had to endure Delroz’s actions in that state. If he’d known it would turn out like this, maybe he should’ve just skipped the suppressant, even if it meant collapsing—and finished the Guiding quickly instead. The thought was absurd, but still, it surfaced. With a sigh of irrational regret, he shut his eyes.
