71
Taein’s eyes turned downward to the written statement that had settled on top of his worn sneakers. The manager had already gotten up and was tapping on the office glass. Aren’t you leaving? Had enough of the show? Hey, Song Gyeongtae, did you do it with that bitch yesterday? While driving away the unnecessarily gathered employees, he was giving a sinister smile to the employee who had partied hard and eaten well all night. Taein picked up the written statement and looked toward the manager. He wanted to say something more, but his mouth just wouldn’t open.
“Fucking bastard can’t even take what’s given to him.”
Saying that, the manager turned around and their eyes met.
Taein reluctantly averted his gaze and picked up a pen.
There was one empty confirmation box at the bottom of the written statement.
If he signed here, even if it was later revealed that he had been unreasonably pressured to resign, there would be nothing he could do about it. Taein glanced up at the manager once, saw him glaring, and weakly lowered his head.
“Ah, there’s not a single thing I like about you until the very end. Are you going to do it tomorrow?”
“…No…”
“Then hurry up. You bastard.”
Right now the manager was pouring out even the resentment he had been harboring alone. This wasn’t sudden. The manager had always viewed Taein unfavorably. While other guys would say “yes, yes” and comply with taking more commission, Kang Taein was greedy for money and absolutely refused to give up anything beyond the commission specified in the contract. Just because his face was decent enough to look at, whenever he saw him landing contracts with female bosses or perverted bastards, how his anger would boil. He wouldn’t mention it all one by one, but everything that had accumulated was clearly showing on the manager’s face.
“Aren’t you going to hurry up, you bastard.”
“……”
Saying “I was wrong” or “I’m sorry” – those were things you said depending on who you were dealing with. Asking for forgiveness out of the blue and begging for forgiveness indiscriminately seemed too much for the current situation. When he had sat down for a private meeting with the manager, words had poured out recklessly due to his urgent state of mind, but now he was capable of that level of judgment. Taein signed the confirmation box with his tensed-up hand.
Kang Taein.
The three characters of his name, without any embellishment or style, went up on the paper pathetically.
* * *
After leaving the warehouse, Taein’s hair was soaked with sweat despite the chilly spring weather. The temperature was on the low side, separate from the good sunshine. However, he had run at full speed to get to the warehouse, and in the office too, he only faced difficult situations, so cold sweat kept breaking out.
His hair was stuck all over his forehead, but this wasn’t the time to worry about that. Taein kept walking while only looking ahead.
He didn’t have a clear destination. One district of Juhang that stretched to the outskirts along the sea. If you walked some distance from the warehouse, you’d come to a trucker restaurant and a seafood market – he was moving his steps in that direction for now. Since the source of money was blocked starting from tonight, he had to find something like a daily part-time job.
Near the trucker restaurant he quickly arrived at, there were depressingly few people. The seafood market side also had only a few merchants keeping their posts. Most of the stalls were covered with tarps. The refreshing sound of crashing waves – such things weren’t reaching Taein’s ears right now. Still, he had to try. Taein entered the trucker restaurant that had no customers and made eye contact with the male owner who was coming out of the kitchen.
“Welcome.”
“Um, hello… I’m sorry for asking suddenly… but are you looking for anyone by chance?”
“What kind of person. You mean someone to work?”
“Yes.”
“With the restaurant in this state, what kind of person would we be looking for. I can barely pay the kitchen ajumma’s wages.”
“Ah… Yes. I’m sorry. Take care.”
If he didn’t hurry up and get out of the way, it seemed like he’d get cursed at by the man. Taein breathlessly spat out the words “sorry” and “take care” and quickly opened the door and went out. A cool breeze blew on his face for a moment, but his insides were stuffy and hot, so the sensation on his skin was dull. Taein slightly frowned and looked ahead, then carefully examined the area below the seafood market too.
What kind of work could he do there – he was having such thoughts when it happened.
A short vibration rang from his phone.
When he took it out to check, there was one ridiculous text message.
[Life’s fucking fun, isn’t it???ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ] [Hope Loans Jang Ihwan]
Taein usually saved only concise information in his phone contacts. Instead of Jang Ihwan, he had wanted to input curses like “fucking bastard” or “shithead,” but there were so many such bastards around that it would get confusing. So he had just saved it as <Hope Loans Jang Ihwan>, but if it was going to be like this, he should have saved it with all kinds of curses. He didn’t know where he had heard rumors to send such a text.
Taein muttered “fuck” quietly and put his phone in his pocket.
It vibrated again, so he had to take it out right away.
This time it wasn’t even a message. The vibration was coming in continuously. The caller was Jang Ihwan again. Not satisfied with provoking him with a text, he seemed to want to spout something with his mouth too. Taein knew well Jang Ihwan’s temperament – if you ignored him too much, he would come to your house and cause a scene. He had to answer the phone once.
“Hello.”
– Hey, hahaha, how’s my, puha, masterpiece, huh?
He laughed loudly right off the bat, making his ears a bit numb. Taein, who barely heard what he said, just frowned.
– Hyung-nim, how was my masterpiece. Puh, haha.
“…What?”
– Ah fuck, it’s so funny. Hyung-nim, how long are you going to just fucking carry around alcohol. I was getting so annoyed I couldn’t stand collecting interest from hyung-nim anymore. So I poked a hole in the alcohol, how about that. Are you pretty fucked now? Puhaha!
“You… fuck… you bastard…”
– So fucking irritating. But what can you do. That’s your life. You fucking bastard. How are you going to pay for that kid’s kindergarten fees. You send him to a pretty expensive one, don’t you? You have to pay on the 15th, right? But it’s the 11th now, do you have money?
Deliberately changing to a gentle tone was even more disgusting. Angry, Taein’s face turned red right there and he was breathing heavily. It felt like stones were pouring down from his chest. Could his chest, having taken all of that, be fine? His breathing was painfully constricted and hot heat spread out. Tears didn’t come, but his shoulders trembled because of his emotions. Even while Taein was barely maintaining his breathing, Jang Ihwan didn’t stop talking.
– Hey… stop doing shitty things and… crawl to JAM. Got it. I’ll give you an opening for now. Fuck, it’s funny that I’m giving an opening to someone who even had a kid. Anyway, hyung-nim. Sell the good stuff. Huh? Don’t sell alcohol, you have good stuff so why are you going around in circles and acting crazy…
Having heard up to “acting crazy,” Taein dropped his phone from his hand. He was trembling while taking the call, so his hand slipped for a moment. How long had he been standing like that? Taein picked up the turned-off phone and left the restaurant area. Because of Jang Ihwan, anger had spread to the top of his head, making rational judgment impossible. The only thought he had now was the simple and ignorant desire to go to Hope Loans and punch him.
Taein wiped his face the entire time he walked. Separate from his greatly distorted expression, tears kept flowing. Because it was miserable and fucking awful. Because he wondered if this life of only being mocked was really life. By the time he reached right in front of Dog Alley, his eyes, nose, and even chin had all turned red.
Taein wiped his face with both hands as if washing it, then walked through the middle of Dog Alley.
Dog Alley was quiet at night too except for a few big guys, but during the day it was like an abandoned alley with only buildings maintained decently. It was eerily quiet. Meanwhile, Taein sniffled once and wiped around his eyes even harder. He didn’t want to show any sign that he had cried to that bastard Jang Ihwan. Taein, who had been obsessively rubbing his face, quickened his pace in Dog Alley where the end was now visible. In his head were only thoughts of passing through Dog Alley, the intersection, and one shabby alley.
Because Hope Loans was there.
Even if it meant going to prison, he was thinking of beating that bastard Jang Ihwan to death.
Taein, who wiped away the tears flowing down again with the back of his hand, even made an “ugh” sound.
It was because emotions kept surging up even though he was trying to endure.
Heat was boiling inside, making it hard to breathe.
Finally, Taein put his hand against the wall and first caught his breath that had been stuck up to his throat. When that time exceeded 1 minute, then 2 minutes, someone’s face intruded in front of his simple anger.
If he did something stupid and went to prison. If he gave up everything.
Eundo’s face, who would be left alone, flickered before him. He doesn’t cry these days, but up until last year, Eundo’s face when he used to cry hanging on the window railing kept floating up before his eyes.
If I act according to my temper right now, I won’t even be able to return to that house.
Hah, breathing and turning around, Taein tilted his head upward.
Why should Eundo bear the sin of having an uneducated and ignorant father?
In the end, it was Eundo who brought down everything. Even if he wanted to live like shit, Eundo would grab his collar and not let go. The little one, who barely knew how to talk, seemed to be looking at him saying “hyung, no.” Seemed to be telling him to live like a human. Taein had experienced this many times. Similarly again, thinking of Eundo made his steps stop. His hands that had been clenched into fists with tendons bulging, and his forearms, quickly returned to their original shape.
Taein just looked upward with a hollow laugh.
After being like that for about 10 minutes, Taein headed toward the outer road of Dog Alley as if he had made up his mind.
If you go straight on the outer road, you’ll come to a small vacant lot. Originally it was a big vacant lot and the surroundings were full of construction sites, but as time passed, the vacant lot area decreased and the construction sites transformed into buildings. Workers had been coming and going since 2 years ago. But regardless, Taein had never particularly sought out that vacant lot. He had no business putting alcohol in the buildings over there, and 5 years ago, that vacant lot was also the place where he had fallen out with the motel hyung. He had even encountered Jang Heungcheol that day.
But today he wasn’t in a position to consider this and that. He had to erase some anger and sadness and such things and look for work first. Anyway, he couldn’t kill that fucking bastard Jang Ihwan. Even if he went and beat him up, he would just not be able to see Eundo’s face when he came home at 6 after attending half-day classes. There was nothing to gain. Such thoughts were also occurring to him as his rationality gradually returned.
While thinking this, Taein approached one building.
The 3rd and 4th floors seemed to be regular offices with no separate signs, the 2nd floor was a loan company, and the 1st floor was a Chinese restaurant.
Naturally, Taein’s steps toward the Chinese restaurant stopped in front of the building stairs.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
