“Lo-love…?”
Iberis frowned in disbelief at what he had heard, narrowing his eyes as if trying to decipher Lucas’s intentions. He thought he might be teased, but the other person was very serious. He opened his mouth with a half-doubting expression.
“…Are you serious?”
“Did it sound like a joke to you?”
Lucas asked back, slightly furrowing his brow. He had tried to keep it as light as possible so that Iberis wouldn’t feel burdened, but seeing him doubt his words made him anxious.
After becoming aware of his feelings for Iberis, Lucas pondered how to act while caring for him as he suffered from aftereffects. The conclusion he reached in the process was that it would be impossible to hide his feelings from Iberis.
If it were someone he could distance himself from or avoid, it might have been different, but he couldn’t do that with Iberis. He was his guide and primary physician, and they were currently living together under the pretext of increasing the guiding effect.
Although it was necessary for guide duties, who in the world wouldn’t be affected by intimate skinship with someone they liked?
Even if he could hide it for now, it would eventually be discovered. And since he had no intention of letting another human guide or take care of Iberis, it was better to confess his feelings.
“You’re saying it’s not a joke?”
“What’s the point of joking about something like this?”
For a moment, Iberis was speechless, silently mouthing words. He wondered if he might be hallucinating due to fever. It was that unbelievable. He tried to stay calm and confirmed Lucas’s intentions once more.
“So, um, you mean you want to date me?”
“Yes.”
“But why…”
Iberis’s expression became complex at the answer that came without any hesitation. He stumbled over his words, looking like he didn’t know how to react.
“Because I think I’ll have a lot of personal feelings every time I perform second-stage guiding on you, Major.”
“Personal feelings…”
Iberis trailed off, flustered. When Lucas put it that way, it was as if… His slightly drooping eyes trembled at the sudden assumption that crossed his mind.
“I think what you’re guessing is correct, Major.”
Lucas affirmed what Iberis couldn’t bring himself to say out loud. It was as if he could see right through his innermost thoughts.
“How do you know what I was thinking…”
“You were suspecting that I might like you, weren’t you?”
Iberis’s mouth clamped shut like a clam, hit right on the mark. Lucas met Iberis’s gaze, which still looked at him with disbelief, and expressed his feelings.
“I like you.”
At the honest confession without any embellishment, Iberis sharply inhaled. His silvery-gray eyes, tinged with shock and bewilderment, wavered like leaves in the wind.
“What did you say?”
“Didn’t you hear me? I like you, Maj-”
“W-wait! *cough*!”
Startled by Lucas trying to express his feelings again, Iberis raised his hand to cover his mouth. Then he coughed as if he had choked.
“Are you alright? Let’s have you take some medicine and water first.”
“No…”
Iberis’s lips quivered with a bewildered expression as Lucas offered him an easy-to-swallow liquid medicine and a cup of lukewarm water. It was strange that the one who confessed was so calm, while he, who received the confession, was at a loss.
“Why…”
Why me? Iberis mumbled, half in a daze, after reflexively taking the medicine and water.
It wasn’t the first time someone had shown interest in him. As an S-class esper, Iberis possessed striking looks. Combined with his outstanding skills and gentle personality, there were many who showed interest.
However, no one had ever confessed or expressed a desire to develop a romantic relationship like this. It was impossible to maintain a deep relationship with Iberis in a situation where proper contact was impossible due to the mana leaking from his body and his body temperature being significantly lower than that of ordinary people.
Gossips called Iberis an untouchable being, a pie in the sky. He was someone who couldn’t fulfill the natural desire of a person who wants to touch the one they love.
But Lucas was different. He was the only human who didn’t suffer pain when touching Iberis. So there was no need to worry about the same problems as others.
Still, it didn’t make sense. Apart from the possibility of skinship, Iberis considered himself inadequate to be someone’s lover.
“Well, I’m not sure either.”
Lucas smiled bitterly as he watched Iberis, confused by his confession.
“Falling for you was unexpected for me too. I’ve guided many espers until now, but I’ve never been attracted like this before.”
“…”
“I kept wondering why it was you, Major. But I couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why I’m drawn to you.”
If I had to say, I guess I was attracted from the start. Lucas murmured softly, recalling the first day he met Iberis. Yes, looking back, it was from that moment.
The gloomy expression on his impassive face and the listlessness in his eyes, beautiful as frost flowers, bothered him so much that he insisted on guiding him as soon as they arrived at the unit.
Despite waiting for death like a wilted flower, the sight of him crumbling helplessly at the slightest warmth was striking.
Seeing his face light up just from the brief respite from the cold that tormented his body, Lucas felt the urge to make him even warmer, pushing forward to an extent that even he thought might be excessive.
And the kind-hearted Iberis, though troubled by his almost forceful actions, ultimately accepted them all. So Lucas became increasingly greedy.
Like life curled up in frozen ground under cold winter winds stretching and sprouting in the warm spring sun, Lucas found himself unconsciously absorbed in watching Iberis’s complexion improve and expression brighten day by day. So much so that he momentarily forgot about avenging his parents.
“By the time I came to my senses, things had already become like this… I couldn’t do anything but acknowledge my feelings.”
Lucas finished speaking and raised his hand to cup his slightly pink cheek. Then he smiled, his eyes crinkling. It was a smile that seemed somewhat relieved.
The Iberis that Lucas saw had a gentle and mild inner nature, contrary to his somewhat stiff and cold exterior appearance.
A young man who was more competent and professional than anyone else when working, but childishly clumsy in other matters.
A superior who silently carried out his duties without showing signs of pain or struggle, often at his own expense due to his extraordinary sense of responsibility.
A being who, while carrying a wound that would never heal in his heart and suffering from past trauma, moved forward steadfastly without crumbling, sometimes dazzlingly so.
And perhaps… someone who might leave him forever, just like his parents.
Objectively speaking, Iberis couldn’t be a good lover for Lucas. Yet, he fell in love with someone destined for parting. So much so that he wanted to be together even if it meant twisting the predetermined future somehow.
“Um, well… First, uh, thank you. I haven’t done much for you, and I’ve only been a burden, but for you to think of me so kindly…”
Iberis, momentarily captivated by the smile full of affection directed at him, stammered nervously. He lowered his eyes as if unable to look directly at Lucas. His heart pounded erratically, and his voice trembled terribly.
“But, I…”
Iberis, about to say something, hesitated at the sensation of his throat tightening. He should refuse. He should draw a clear line, saying he had never imagined such a relationship. While his mind thought this way, strangely, his voice wouldn’t come out.
“I don’t want to burden you, Major. Originally, I had no intention of confessing my feelings. I’m telling you this because I think you’d find out anyway during guiding. And there are aspects of myself I’m not proud of, so I can’t just thoughtlessly ask you to accept my confession.”
“…Not proud of yourself to me? What do you mean by that?”
“Well, I enlisted in the Defense Force for a specific purpose. Because of that, I’m inevitably deceiving those around me. That’s all I can say about it for now. I’m sorry.”
Whether it was okay to approach someone he liked while keeping secrets was also one of Lucas’s concerns. But he couldn’t back down now that he’d come this far. The hand that had been caressing the clear cheek slid down gently to grasp the slender chin.
“If you find my actions burdensome or dislike them, you can reject me. Then I’ll somehow find a way other than second-stage guiding. However…”
Lucas, trailing off, slowly leaned his upper body towards Iberis. As their faces grew close enough to feel each other’s breath, the silver-gray eyes rippled like waves. Desperately suppressing the urge to devour the lips that were barely touching, he asked for permission.
“If you’re even slightly swayed by me, please don’t reject me.”
