Chapter 203
Startled by the sudden noise, Hyeon-woo heard someone’s urgent footsteps running back and forth. With each step, there was an unidentifiable wet sound, splash, splash.
“…Huff, huff…”
Hyeon-woo’s eyes widened as he instinctively turned around at the desperate sound of someone frantically searching the corridor while gasping for breath.
Tae-geon, dressed in a patient’s gown, was frantically looking around and feeling his way through various parts of the corridor.
His bare right foot was wet with red. He must have cut himself on something that had broken earlier, as red footprints were left on the corridor floor along his path. That must have been the source of the wet splashing sound.
Tae-geon, unable to recognize Hyeon-woo standing not far away, groped in the darkness, waving his outstretched hands in the air. It seemed that his newly transplanted eyes were still unable to distinguish objects in this level of darkness.
Hyeon-woo’s heart ached at each of Tae-geon’s desperate gestures searching for him – his eyes shining desperately even in the darkness like a child who had lost something precious, his head turning frantically, his heaving chest, his urgent footsteps.
Biting his lip hard at the sudden surge of emotion, Hyeon-woo took a step towards Tae-geon.
Tae-geon’s shoulders stiffened at the sudden presence felt in the darkness. Hyeon-woo’s eyes reddened as he watched Tae-geon staring in the wrong direction, unable to notice him even though he was right in front of him.
“…I’m here.”
Tae-geon abruptly lifted his head towards the source of the voice.
In the pitch-black darkness, starting with the familiar toe of a shoe appearing in the small, dim stream of moonlight, soon Hyeon-woo’s entire figure, bathed in moonlight, was revealed before Tae-geon’s eyes.
Hyeon-woo’s wet eyes, looking at Tae-geon’s disheveled hair and the sweat on his forehead, his eyes wide as if surprised, moved downward, scanning his heavily heaving chest and disheveled clothes in order.
Tae-geon’s lips hardened as he unconsciously lowered his head, following Hyeon-woo’s gaze that lingered for a long time at his feet. He had just now noticed the state of his own blood-covered feet.
Tae-geon’s face was filled with deep humiliation and shame as he realized that Hyeon-woo had caught him in such a miserable state, groping in the darkness like a madman.
Despite having searched so desperately, now that Hyeon-woo was actually in front of him, Tae-geon couldn’t look at him straight.
“…Why did you come out without even wearing shoes?”
“……”
“What if you keep getting hurt like this?”
The corners of Tae-geon’s mouth twisted at the scolding voice.
“Why. Do I look pathetic…?”
“……”
Tae-geon gritted his teeth at Hyeon-woo, who remained silent without answering.
“I know, I must look ridiculous. I know, I know!”
“……”
“I can’t stand how pathetic I am. Every day, every new aspect of myself I face is so damn pathetic I feel like I’m going crazy! But…!!”
Tae-geon suddenly clutched his chest and caught his breath as he was pouring out his words. Then, as if spitting out his heart, he painfully uttered each word.
“…It’s more painful not having you by my side. It’s so painful I can hardly breathe.”
“……”
“Don’t go, Hyeon-woo.”
“……”
“Don’t go, please.”
Hyeon-woo looked at Tae-geon in front of him with an unbelieving face.
He could clearly see with his own eyes Tae-geon desperately pleading, his lips pouring out earnest wishes, his desperate eyes hoping his sincerity would reach Hyeon-woo even if he had to reveal his entire self, but he still couldn’t believe it.
On Tae-geon’s face, covered with large and small cracks as if it would shatter into pieces and scatter in all directions if touched, Hyeon-woo felt an unfamiliar strangeness along with a sense of déjà vu.
A weak being becoming infinitely small and foolish in front of the other flashed before his eyes. The twenty-year-old Han Hyeon-woo who loved Tae-geon gradually overlapped more clearly on his precarious face. It was the face of a person helplessly in love.
“…I was wrong…”
“……”
“Don’t go, don’t go anywhere and stay by my side. Okay?”
Tae-geon’s voice, unable to hide his anxiety and impatience, was trembling faintly.
It felt as if his voice, seeping into his chest, was painfully wringing his heart. His heart was pounding madly and his head was dizzy as if it would burst at the plea uttered while looking at him with such earnest eyes.
Hyeon-woo bit his lip. He was confused, not knowing what to do with Tae-geon or how to answer him.
“……”
“……”
Eventually, a chilly silence settled over the corridor. Dense resentment began to frost over Tae-geon’s eyes as he looked desperately at Hyeon-woo, who had closed his mouth and wasn’t saying a word.
Tae-geon’s eyes, blacker than night and murkier than a swamp, were engulfed in terrible despair and then began to violently fluctuate as if overwhelmed by great anger.
Tae-geon’s Adam’s apple moved up and down greatly as if forcibly swallowing the rising emotion. His hotly wavering eyes glared at Hyeon-woo as if they would burn him.
“…Why did you appear in front of me if you’re going to be like this?”
Tae-geon’s eyes, directed at Hyeon-woo, flashed white in the moonlight. But Hyeon-woo still had no answer.
Unable to contain something boiling up towards Hyeon-woo from deep inside any longer, Tae-geon finally exploded.
“I said I’d let you go! I said I’d be satisfied just knowing you’re alive! Why did you appear in front of me again?! Why are you messing with people, driving them crazy! Why?!”
Tae-geon’s face was stained with pain as he shouted.
Impatience, anxiety, frustration, despair… These emotions that didn’t suit him at all, that he had never felt in his life nor needed to feel, his outcry as he became so soft and weak because of Hyeon-woo, were so stinging that it felt like tears would come.
“I can’t be satisfied with just that anymore. Whether you live or die, do it in front of my eyes!”
“……”
“It’s no use if you refuse. I won’t let you run away, I won’t let you go anywhere, I’ll hold onto you and never let you go!!”
Tae-geon’s long-suppressed true feelings burst out explosively.
However, despite the high-handed and violent shouting, Hyeon-woo still showed no particular reaction. Tae-geon’s eyes wavered with anxiety.
Tae-geon felt like he was going crazy because of Hyeon-woo, who was just staring at him blankly. Tae-geon’s palms were soaked with cold sweat as he clenched his fists tightly, gnashing his teeth.
It was miserable. The corners of Tae-geon’s twisted mouth trembled as he barely swallowed the rising nausea.
He no longer cared how pathetic Hyeon-woo might think he was. Even if Hyeon-woo wanted to run away, horrified by his exposed true self, it was too late now. Because he meant it when he said he wouldn’t let him go.
A self-deprecating smile formed at the corners of Tae-geon’s mouth as he made no effort to hide his miserably crumbling face.
“…What can I do about being born as such a bastard in the first place.”
“……”
“Blame yourself for finding me.”
Hyeon-woo could no longer fail to recognize that this was Tae-geon’s love confession, as desperate and terribly painful as a scream.
Does Tae-geon know? What kind of face he’s making right now? What kind of eyes he’s looking at himself with?
What should I do with you, with you so twisted like this?
He had no idea where to start untangling this thread of fate that had become so tangled in front of this mischievous destiny.
However, unlike his throbbing head that was in a jumble, his heart was whispering something else towards Tae-geon.
Yes, I found you. You who were hiding in the mansion, when we were young, and when we met again. It was always me who found you first.
He had been drawn back like a magnetic force to Tae-geon’s side, who had tried to let him go several times. Like the waxing and waning moon, like the repeating seasons, he had come around and around to be by Tae-geon’s side again.
He had voluntarily returned to Tae-geon’s side – Tae-geon who had let him go knowing full well that he would go blind in order to save him when he had thrown himself into the fires of hell to take revenge on him, and Tae-geon who had tried to coldly send him away from the mansion after they met again.
Did you know that we would become this painful?
Is that why you tried to let me go?
Nevertheless, Tae-geon couldn’t push him away in the end when he said he would stay by his side. Hyeon-woo’s heart ached at Tae-geon’s desperation as he shouted that he wouldn’t let go now.
Tae-geon’s face, swept by the outpouring of emotion, had crumbled miserably like a devastated ruin. Hyeon-woo, who had been looking at him for a long time with moist eyes as he stood with his head down and teeth clenched, finally opened his mouth.
“…I asked for some time to think, didn’t I?”
“So, what thoughts?”
“……”
“…Thoughts of leaving me?”
Tae-geon muttered, gritting his teeth.
“I said it clearly. That I absolutely won’t let you go. That no matter where you run away to, I’ll definitely find you and keep you by my side.”
His voice, uttering threats, was desperate. Hyeon-woo suddenly lowered his gaze to his right wrist, which had been grabbed. A “Ugh” sound finally escaped from Hyeon-woo’s throat at the grip that was tightening more and more as if to cut off blood flow.
Only then realizing that he was gripping Hyeon-woo’s wrist as if to crush it, Tae-geon let go in shock. But it was already after red marks had been left.
Rubbing his throbbing wrist, Hyeon-woo’s lips moved as if he had something to say. Tae-geon, looking at him with an anxious face, couldn’t stand it and spoke first.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
