Chapter 200
At that moment, Hyeon-woo felt as if time had stopped and he was floating in a vacuum in space. It felt like only Tae-geon and he were left in the world. It was as if only the two of them were drifting like dust in the vast, dark universe.
Just like on that night when he was seven years old, with the full moon overhead. Like that night when he swore eternity to the Milky Way in Tae-geon’s eyes, they silently gazed at each other for a long time.
Although no words were exchanged, Hyeon-woo could instinctively feel it. That Tae-geon hadn’t forgotten him, that he had preserved every single memory of him intact.
Layers upon layers of memories were engraved in his gaze towards Hyeon-woo without the slightest misalignment. His eyes, burning with heat like a sandstorm in a sun-scorched desert or the birth of lava that melts rock and iron, continued to flicker unchangingly towards him.
Tears began to flow again from Hyeon-woo’s eyes that had stopped crying.
Tae-geon’s lips moved as if he had something to say. Hyeon-woo put his ear close to Tae-geon’s mouth. It seemed like he was trying to say something forcefully, but nothing could be heard from Tae-geon’s throat except for a harsh exhalation and a metallic sound.
Hyeon-woo lifted his head and carefully observed Tae-geon’s lip movements. Tae-geon mouthed each syllable clearly without sound, just like before.
‘…I told you… not to cry….’
However, those words acted as a catalyst, causing Hyeon-woo to burst into tears.
Like a broken faucet, Hyeon-woo’s shoulders, which had been motionlessly shedding tears, suddenly heaved greatly, and soon loud sobs filled the hospital room.
*
Whirr-.
Hyeon-woo carefully dried Tae-geon’s wet hair with a hairdryer while combing it with his hand. Tae-geon felt Hyeon-woo’s touch with his eyes closed, seemingly content.
Over the past few days, Tae-geon had repeatedly lost and regained consciousness. Each time, Hyeon-woo felt like he was going back and forth between heaven and hell. Only after Tae-geon fully regained consciousness and a detailed examination showed no special abnormalities except for the burn on his right arm did Hyeon-woo finally feel at ease.
Click-.
The hairdryer turned off and the warm air stopped. Feeling the loss of Hyeon-woo’s touch leaving his now-dry hair, Tae-geon opened his eyes.
“Arm.”
Tae-geon extended his injured arm to Hyeon-woo, who was gathering the dressing kit. After removing the gauze and disinfecting the wound, Hyeon-woo’s face turned into a frown. Although he should be used to it by now, he couldn’t help but feel upset every time he saw the terrible burn marks.
The cotton applying the burn ointment must have painfully grazed the wound area.
“Ugh…!”
As a groan escaped Tae-geon’s mouth from the stinging pain, Hyeon-woo’s hand holding the tweezers froze.
“…Does it hurt…?”
“……”
“…This hurts?! This little thing hurts?!”
Surprised by the sudden outburst, Tae-geon looked at Hyeon-woo with wide eyes. Seeing that Hyeon-woo’s shouting face was filled with sadness rather than anger, Tae-geon swallowed the words he was about to say.
“Why are you so reckless?!”
“……”
“You and Jerome, you both could have been lost! Then I… I…!”
As if even imagining it was too frightening, Hyeon-woo couldn’t finish his sentence and trembled. Tae-geon grabbed Hyeon-woo’s shaking shoulders.
“We’re both fine, aren’t we?”
Tae-geon’s voice, not yet fully recovered, was a mess.
“…That’s…!”
“Even if I went back to the past, I would do exactly the same thing. I would definitely save Jerome and bring him safely to you.”
Hyeon-woo looked up at Tae-geon, his mouth tightly closed as if swallowing his tears. As if Hyeon-woo’s sadness was contagious, hot moisture began to form in Tae-geon’s eyes as he silently looked at him.
With a tight voice, as if reaffirming his commitment, Tae-geon murmured once more in a low voice.
“I’ll protect you so that nothing can take anything precious from you anymore.”
“……”
“Can’t I atone like that?”
“…What?”
“…Can’t I stay by your side, even if it’s like that?”
Tae-geon’s face, speaking as if pleading, was suddenly contorted with pain. Like the day he handed Jerome to Hyeon-woo after pulling him out of the flames, his eyes towards Hyeon-woo looked terribly pained, stained with a jumble of emotions.
…What on earth are you talking about? Atonement?
Hyeon-woo’s eyes wavered in confusion at hearing words he couldn’t understand.
Although he didn’t fully comprehend Tae-geon’s words, Hyeon-woo could instinctively feel that something overwhelming was rushing towards him at an incredible speed. He sensed that the gears of fate Museok had spoken of, which one could never escape from no matter how much they struggled, had begun to turn, meshing with each other.
“…You said you had something you wanted to ask me, right?”
Tae-geon continued, looking straight into Hyeon-woo’s eyes.
“I promised you that I would tell only the truth without lies. I’ll keep that promise now. I have something to confess to you.”
Tae-geon’s solemn voice brought fear rather than curiosity. Hyeon-woo wanted to run away. He knew that Tae-geon’s confession would completely shake him.
“Stop, stop it. You’re not fully recovered yet.”
“No, I have to do it now.”
“I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to hear your voice. Do you know how terrible your voice sounds right now?”
“Hyeon-woo.”
Tae-geon grabbed Hyeon-woo’s shoulders and met his gaze firmly. Sensing that he could no longer push him away, Hyeon-woo bit his lip tightly.
Had his instincts noticed this fact early on? Had he been constantly postponing it out of fear of facing this moment? Had he repeatedly put it off, saying they would reveal the truth about the accident when Tae-geon regained his sight, when spring came with blooming flowers, after they took a walk together?
Tae-geon spoke to the silent Hyeon-woo as if making a confession.
“The traffic accident that killed your parents, it was because of me.”
“……”
“…They died because of me.”
Why do ominous premonitions always come true so accurately?
Everything turned white before Hyeon-woo’s eyes. Tae-geon quickly caught Hyeon-woo as he lost his balance and staggered, pulling him into his arms.
Tae-geon waited, giving Hyeon-woo enough time for his gasping breath to calm down and regain his composure.
As his blurred vision slowly returned and the fog in his mind gradually cleared, focus returned to Hyeon-woo’s blank eyes. He collected himself and looked up to meet Tae-geon’s gaze.
“What… do you mean by that?”
In response to Hyeon-woo’s trembling voice, Tae-geon spoke as if chewing on despair.
“The target of that traffic accident wasn’t actually your parents.”
“…Target? What are you talking about! Who targeted who?”
At Hyeon-woo’s urgent questioning filled with anguish, Tae-geon averted his gaze and continued.
“There was a group trying to frame me in the process of making new drugs tax-free. Those bastards figured it out. That you were my weakness.”
“……”
“…The original target of that accident was you.”
“…What…?”
Hyeon-woo’s eyes widened as much as they could. Overwhelmed by Tae-geon’s words, Hyeon-woo stammered with a pale face.
“…Why…? Why, me…?”
“I… stupidly let it slip.”
Tae-geon’s terribly cracked voice trembled slightly.
“That you were someone special to me.”
“……”
“That I was secretly supporting you after you left for America. The house, the store, the business, everything.”
Hyeon-woo, who had been listening blankly to Tae-geon’s words as if in a daze, suddenly seemed to realize something and was startled.
The moments of luck when he felt God’s blessing was with him flashed quickly through his mind. Hyeon-woo, now realizing that all of it was actually due to Tae-geon rather than God, asked in surprise.
“Why?”
“……”
“…Why did you do that…?”
Hyeon-woo’s eyes toward Tae-geon were shaking wildly, entangled with questions, bewilderment, and confusion.
“You said we should end it. You said with your own mouth that we should stop everything, so why on earth…?”
Hyeon-woo pressed Tae-geon, forgetting that he was a patient. Their gazes were locked for a not-so-brief moment, but it was Tae-geon who first avoided that gaze.
“…I’m sorry.”
Tae-geon spoke in a suppressed voice and lowered his head with a face full of despair.
His lingering attachment, unable to let go even after declaring an end to Hyeon-woo, had led to this result. It all happened because of his own greed. He had inflicted an indelible wound on Hyeon-woo. And yet, he had inwardly felt relieved that Hyeon-woo wasn’t involved in that horrific accident. What would Hyeon-woo think if he knew this fact? He would probably shudder, calling it terrible.
Tae-geon didn’t have the courage to face Hyeon-woo’s criticism and resentful reproach that would be poured out at him.
Even though he had prepared himself many times. Even though he had held onto Hyeon-woo all this time, thinking he would endure and accept whatever came, now that the moment had actually arrived, Tae-geon felt like he couldn’t even breathe in the face of the enormous fear overtaking him.
Tae-geon’s lips, closed quietly like a death row inmate waiting for his sentence, moved several times as if he had something more to say.
…You promised. You promised that at least once, just once, you would forgive me too.
So forgive me. Just this once, please, forgive me.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
