Chapter 206
The California sunshine was still hot and intense. Nevertheless, when entering the shade, a pleasantly cool breeze made it feel nice.
To recover from the fatigue of the long flight, they spent the entire first day resting at the hotel without going anywhere. However, for some reason, Tae-geon didn’t seem to be resting properly due to constantly ringing phone calls.
“…I saw the verdict. Good job.”
…Verdict?
Hyeon-woo, who had been dozing off, vaguely woke up to the sound of Tae-geon’s phone call.
“It’s typical scapegoating. They’re pretending it was an employee’s mistake in calculating the battery performance, blaming it on an individual. Just leave it. It’s all over anyway.”
…Battery performance…?
Muttering the words he suddenly heard while half-asleep, Hyeon-woo drifted back into deep slumber. The next day, to coincide with his mother’s birthday, they drove along Highway 1 in a rental car driven by Tae-geon.
Eventually, the coastline meeting the blue sky in the distance spread out before their eyes.
When they reached their destination, the navigation system’s guidance ended. Hyeon-woo grabbed the bouquet of lilies he had placed in the back seat and got out of the car.
Dizzying cliffs, cut vertically along the coast, curved like a snake’s waist and stretched vastly into the fog in the distance.
The black suit tails of the two neatly dressed men fluttered in the sea breeze.
Crash, crash. The waves that must have traveled from the distant sea with some unspoken mission couldn’t overcome the massive cliff they encountered and shattered into pieces. The waves, breaking into white foam in all directions, turned into sea spray and returned to the distant ocean.
The waves that disappeared without a trace would, however, surge back to this place where they had shattered, as they always had, carrying the same mission in their heart.
That was the inescapable fate of the waves, and it was the destiny of the cliff to block these waves but ultimately fulfill their mission by carving away its own flesh and bone. Standing on the coastal cliff shaped by waves over tens of thousands of years, Hyeon-woo blankly looked down at the byproducts left by the waves, holding white lilies in his arms.
As Hyeon-woo took a step towards the precipice, Tae-geon grabbed his shoulder firmly.
“It’s dangerous.”
When their eyes met as Hyeon-woo turned his head towards him, Tae-geon felt an extreme pain as if someone was branding his heart with fire.
Hyeon-woo’s empty eyes, looking terribly pained, eventually left Tae-geon and turned back to the bottom of the cliff.
“…There, I scattered them down there.”
Tae-geon’s eyes, which had followed Hyeon-woo’s gaze to the bottom of the cliff, slowly returned to Hyeon-woo.
Just imagining Hyeon-woo standing here alone, scattering the ashes he held in his hand to the wind, made Tae-geon feel like his heart was being torn apart.
On the bare ground with no grave, tombstone, or even a monument, Hyeon-woo placed the lilies he was holding. The white petals, contrasting with the dry reddish-yellow soil, swayed mournfully in the wind.
“…Mom, Dad. And Jamie. I’m here.”
At the unfamiliar name that came from Hyeon-woo’s lips, Tae-geon finally remembered. That someone had been asleep in the back seat at the time of the accident. Hadn’t he almost gone crazy once, thinking it was Hyeon-woo? It seemed someone named Jamie had been there instead of Hyeon-woo.
“I’m sorry for coming only now. I couldn’t muster the courage.”
Hyeon-woo’s voice was carried somewhere far out to sea on the blowing wind.
“I was scared. Facing my pathetic self, my past self who ran away like a loser, I was afraid.”
Tae-geon watched from a step away as Hyeon-woo painfully confessed his sins and repented.
“I’m sorry. For not being able to reveal the truth. You must have felt so wronged. But I always believed. Even when everyone pointed fingers at us, I never doubted my belief for a single moment.”
The anguish of Hyeon-woo, who must have fought a lonely battle, seeped through his tearful voice.
“And I’ve come to know for sure that I was right.”
“……”
“I met someone who proved that my belief wasn’t wrong.”
Hyeon-woo said, turning to look at Tae-geon standing behind him.
“Come here. You should greet them too.”
“……”
“Hurry.”
Hyeon-woo pulled Tae-geon, who couldn’t readily approach despite the urging, to his side.
“Tae-geon told me everything about who tried to frame us and for what purpose. Tae-geon revealed all the truth.”
“……”
“…I think it must not have been easy for him to tell me this story.”
“……”
Tae-geon stared blankly at Hyeon-woo, who was murmuring towards the distant horizon, with an unreadable expression. The sea breeze that climbed up the cliff scattered their hair in all directions.
“…To ask for forgiveness, that’s why I came.”
After standing for a while, letting his body sway in the wind while looking at where the sky met the sea, Hyeon-woo gestured to Tae-geon.
It was a look telling him to hurry up and ask for forgiveness too. However, Tae-geon seemed to have no intention of taking his eyes off Hyeon-woo. As Hyeon-woo made a puzzled expression, Tae-geon’s low voice finally flowed into his ear.
“To be honest, I’m not sure how to ask for forgiveness.”
Hyeon-woo couldn’t hide his bewilderment at Tae-geon, who was facing him directly and saying this. Regardless, Tae-geon continued.
“I’m not denying that everyone’s death is my fault. But there’s only one part of those deaths that I truly feel responsible for.”
“……”
“That you had to go through trials you shouldn’t have because of me. Other than that, I’m not really sure.”
“……”
“…You know too. That I’m not a proper human being.”
Hyeon-woo was left speechless at Tae-geon’s sudden candid confession.
“Every single emotion I felt in my life, I learned through you. The world that was only black and white would become colorful wherever you were.”
“……”
“It’s the same now. If you want me to atone, I’ll do whatever it is. If you tell me to beg for forgiveness, I’ll even get on my knees. However, all of that is for you, both the act of asking for forgiveness and the atonement for it are all for you. Because you are the only one I feel guilty towards.”
A sincere and unyielding gaze, without a hint of lie, pierced through Hyeon-woo.
“I know it’s not right to follow you here and say this. If your heart would be at ease with my inadequate repentance, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, but I don’t want to lie about my true feelings to you anymore.”
With those final words, the surroundings fell silent again, engulfed by the muffled sound of waves.
Hyeon-woo shifted his gaze from Tae-geon to look at the undulating sea surface. Warm sunlight was scattering dazzling jewels over the rolling waves. The emerald sea, covered in glittering scales, seemed like the breath of a massive living being as it undulated with each inhale and exhale.
Hyeon-woo, who had been watching this silently, broke the heavy silence that had settled.
“I understand, your true feelings.”
With his gaze fixed on the blue horizon, Hyeon-woo spoke again.
“Tae-geon. I want to be alone for a while, could you go back to the car first?”
“……”
Turning to look at Tae-geon, who didn’t answer, Hyeon-woo pleaded again with a desperate face.
“Just for thirty minutes.”
“……”
“Okay?”
“…Alright.”
Though reluctantly retreating at the earnest request, Tae-geon kept looking back, seemingly uneasy about leaving Hyeon-woo alone, before finally disappearing from sight completely.
After sending Tae-geon away, Hyeon-woo muttered inwardly towards the sea with an awkward smile.
I’m sorry. He’s always like that. I’ll apologize on his behalf.
Whoosh- The blowing wind gently caressed Hyeon-woo’s hair.
He had been afraid that the sky, angry at his selfishness, might strike him with lightning. Like that rainy night, he thought a huge, earth-shaking thunder and lightning might scold him, carrying everyone’s resentment.
But contrary to such worries, the sky where white cloud fragments floated was incredibly peaceful, and the rolling waves were as calm as a lake.
Hyeon-woo felt his mother’s touch in the wind that seemed to embrace him. Swallowing back the tears that suddenly welled up, Hyeon-woo gazed intently somewhere far away where the wind was coming from. Then he began to pour out the thoughts that were stirring up his heart.
I really don’t know what to do… Actually, that’s why I came.
As if listening to his soliloquy, the wind that had been blowing fiercely suddenly became gentle, and even the noisy sound of waves seemed to quiet down, creating an illusion. Instead of scolding his wicked self, even the air seemed to hold its breath, waiting for his next words in the silence, and Hyeon-woo’s heart ached. Gathering his breaking heart, Hyeon-woo continued his unfinished words.
Tae-geon suffered a lot because of me. I didn’t know anything, that he had imprinted on me, that his eyes were getting damaged.
I wasn’t in my right mind back then either. I was crazy with hatred for Choi Tae-geon. If I could have thrown him into hellfire, I would have sold my soul to the devil.
When I consider the pain Tae-geon endured to stop me, it feels like the devil really granted my wish.
Did I lose everyone, who were everything to me, in exchange for my soul…?
Hyeon-woo’s eyes, which had been inwardly murmuring, became deeply wet.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
