Chapter 183
After his relationship with K, when Ian came home and faced Tae-geon, he felt so guilty that he could barely look him in the eye.
Nevertheless, the desserts Tae-geon bought were so sweet and delicious that Ian couldn’t resist and ate them all. Perhaps they tasted even sweeter because Tae-geon had bought them for Ian, who would be alone at home.
Ian still vividly remembered the taste and shape of each sweet dessert that melted in his mouth. The luxurious packages seemed unusual… They turned out to be ceremonial desserts from a hotel.
Ian’s face quickly became gloomy, thinking it was impossible to get them now. The combination of sugar, cream, and fruit was an unparalleled sweetness. He thought it would be the perfect revenge for the spinach incident.
Ian, who had been excited imagining Tae-geon’s disgusted face when presented with mille-feuille, became dejected.
“…I couldn’t make it myself, could I? I wanted to make it for the young master…”
Scott’s face lit up at this, filled with a sense of mission. He was certain that the young master’s dislike for sweet things wouldn’t be a problem at all.
“Ian, do you know something?”
“What?”
“The hotel I worked at was J Hotel.”
“…?!”
“That ceremonial mille-feuille, I developed it.”
Scott smiled warmly at Ian, who was startled, his shoulders jerking up.
“Let’s make it together. When would be good for you?”
Taken aback by Scott’s proactive approach, Ian replied hastily.
“I, I’d like to give it to him tomorrow morning.”
“Then shall we meet here at 5 AM? I’ll prepare the dough in advance. It needs some time to ferment.”
“Yes, that’s fine.”
Right, strike while the iron is hot, as they say.
Ian’s mind was racing as he headed to Jerome’s room after finishing his business. He couldn’t think of a way to make Tae-geon, who would refuse with disgust, eat the mille-feuille. Should he make it into a game? If he loses, he wouldn’t be able to refuse, right?
Just before reaching Jerome’s room…
“Ian!”
Someone called out to Ian from behind. Turning around, he saw it was Carol.
“Hello.”
As Ian greeted her, Jerome beside him followed suit, saying “Hello.” Carol exclaimed “Oh my, oh my!” repeatedly towards Jerome.
“So the new little young master I heard was coming is Ian’s guest?”
Ian nodded in response to Carol, who was smiling brightly.
“Yes, he’s my son.”
“I didn’t know Ian had such a big son. Oh, don’t misunderstand. It’s because Ian looks so young, I’d believe it if you said you were a student.”
Carol, waving her hands, smiled at Jerome.
“What’s the little young master’s name?”
Ian finally realized the source of the unexplained discomfort he had been feeling. The situation where Carol was addressing Jerome formally and calling him “little young master” felt awkward.
“It’s Jerome. Please just call him Jerome comfortably. Not titles like young master.”
“That’s difficult, Ian,” Carol shook her head, looking troubled.
“The butler has instructed us to address him as little young master, I can’t act on my own.”
A big question mark appeared in Ian’s mind.
The strict and inflexible butler is addressing his son as little young master? That’s not like him at all…
He wasn’t the type of old man to give such treatment to the son of a mere employee. Seeing Ian’s dubious expression, Carol added:
“The young… I mean, the small master personally sponsors him, so he strongly emphasized that we should take good care of him.”
…Sponsor.
A helpless laugh escaped Ian’s lips with a “Ha.” The uneasy feeling he had about the nature of Tae-geon’s kindness towards Jerome seemed to dissipate a little now.
Sponsor. It was the most appropriate term to represent their current relationship, but for some reason, Ian felt a bitter taste in his mouth.
Whenever his unconsciously crumbling heart was pushed to an ambiguous boundary, Tae-geon’s clear specification of their relationship would snap him back to reality. He felt the same way when he first heard the word ‘charity’ from him.
Not a relationship where one gives, shares, and feels something simply as their heart moves without calculation, but a relationship that runs on reasons, excuses, rewards, and purposes. There was no need to feel disappointed about it. Because he was the same.
Ian recalled once again the reason he decided to stay by Tae-geon’s side. He stayed to uncover the truth about the accident that took his parents and Jamie from him. He planned to demand the unvarnished truth in exchange for spending Tae-geon’s rut with him.
Tae-geon’s surgery had ended safely, and the progress was not bad. Ian knew that unless Tae-geon’s imprint was released, he couldn’t completely escape the sense of debt that troubled him. But through Tae-geon, who was gradually regaining what he had lost, Ian felt the weight of the debt pressing down on him becoming a little lighter.
‘I’m not going to believe what you say anymore.’
That one sentence Tae-geon had uttered, due to the promises repeatedly broken because of Ian, was stuck in his heart like a dagger. The guilt that had been piling up in a corner of his heart like sediment, separate from the debt of the imprint.
Fortunately, there was still one promise left that he could keep.
‘When spring comes, let’s take a walk in the garden together.’
He was determined to keep at least that one promise. Only then could he escape, even a little, from the guilt of staying by Tae-geon’s side with impure motives.
After exchanging good night greetings with Carol, Ian entered Jerome’s room. After bathing Jerome in warm water, dressing him in pajamas, and putting him to bed, the child fell asleep quickly, seemingly tired. Ian turned off the lights and headed to his own room not far away. Sitting on the bed, he counted the days.
It would soon be March. Spring with blooming flowers was not far off. On that day, as promised, he would go out to the garden with Tae-geon and take a walk in the warm sunlight. Then, under the shade of trees with a cool breeze, he would ask about his parents.
Even if Tae-geon accused and resented him, saying this was his purpose all along. He couldn’t delay taking steps towards the truth any longer. When spring comes, after keeping his promise with Tae-geon at least once…
He repeated this to himself several times, as if to strengthen his resolve.
*
The mille-feuille was a complete failure.
“The heart is what’s most important. You can’t be perfect from the start. This is the precious dessert Ian made for someone for the first time. You did well, Ian.”
Scott comforted Ian, but it wasn’t consoling at all.
“…It looks incredibly unappetizing even at a glance.”
“……”
While making the custard cream, Ian accidentally spilled raw egg on the dough. Scott, who was bringing the prepared strawberries, was shocked to see Ian trying to fix it by washing the dough with water.
Perhaps because of that, the pastry that should have been crispy was chewy, and the visual of the subpar cream, hardly worthy of being called custard, smeared all over looked like a rag. He felt like apologizing to the mille-feuille, which means ‘a thousand leaves’, by bowing his head.
Ian, who had been dejectedly looking at his poor creation, cleaned up. It was about time to wake up Jerome and get him ready to send him to daycare on time.
“…Just throw it away. I don’t think even I could eat it.”
Ian took off his apron and left the kitchen, heading to Jerome’s room. After sending him off in the car on time, he hurried to prepare for work.
Ian’s face looked particularly gloomy today as he set the breakfast table. Noticing this, Tae-geon asked what was wrong. But Ian couldn’t honestly confess that he was depressed because the dessert he had made from early morning to tease Tae-geon had failed.
As Ian was reticent, saying it was nothing, Tae-geon, who had been staring at him, brought up a different topic.
“What are you doing this weekend?”
Ian thoughtlessly recited what he had been planning.
“I’m going to the bookstore early in the morning with Jerome. He seems to really like his new room and wants to decorate the bookshelf with books he chooses himself.”
“Does Jerome like books?”
“Yes.”
“What else does he like?”
“He also likes dinosaurs, and among toys, he likes building blocks the most. He seems to enjoy assembling and playing with them.”
“He should go into sciences later then.”
Ian unconsciously smiled at those words, then clenched his fist at the strange feeling that suddenly washed over him. Talking about Tae-geon and Jerome’s future felt odd. Even though it was just idle chat, it strangely made a part of his heart tingle.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
