Chapter 53
The roles had reversed from before. With a mix of happiness and worry, Si-yul began scolding first. Kwon Yuwon’s handsome face was in quite a state. He hadn’t even shaved, with patchy stubble on his chin, and the hair peeking out from under his hat was greasy and matted. The dark circles under his eyes and his gaunt appearance made him almost unrecognizable if they had passed on the street.
“Did you go on some cross-country trek alone? Why do you look so haggard? Were you homeless?”
“I still got a lot of compliments on my looks wherever I went. But forget that, let’s eat first. My stomach is sticking to my back.”
The restaurant owner, who had been watching their embrace, stood up on shaky legs. His hearing seemed poor as he kept asking “What?” and leaning in when they tried to order. So Kwon Yuwon ordered in a booming voice. There wasn’t much effort in choosing since the menu only had ramen and tteokbokki.
“So, how was your trip? You never traveled even before the military, what wind suddenly blew you away? You didn’t take a job from that pig, did you?”
“No, really, I didn’t. How many times do I have to say it? Don’t you trust me?”
“This time, I’m a bit suspicious.”
“Trust me. When have I ever done anything to harm you? Even if I had taken a job… I’d never let it affect you.”
“You didn’t take one, right? Right.”
Si-yul narrowed his eyes and questioned him like an interrogator. Kwon Yuwon glared back, complaining about being made to repeat himself.
“I said I didn’t! Why are you worrying so much?”
“Because you’re doing things you’ve never done before.”
“I did manual labor, okay? It was fucking hard. I thought my shoulders would fall off.”
Kwon Yuwon grumbled as he poured water, and Si-yul set out the utensils with practiced ease. Their years of living together showed in how smoothly they divided tasks.
“Tell me what you did. Why didn’t you call again?”
“I changed to the cheapest phone plan. The call minutes were limited. I didn’t even send texts except to you.”
That made sense. Si-yul nodded, then frowned slightly. A sweet orange scent brushed his nose. When he inhaled again, he only smelled the spicy tteokbokki and savory ramen.
“Where did you go?”
“All over. Busan, Daegu, Pohang, Incheon, Daejeon.”
“You really got around.”
“Daejeon was nice. The bread was good too. Let’s live there together someday. Housing is a bit expensive, but we could find cheaper places. Anything would be better than here.”
Kwon Yuwon looked around the small restaurant as if surveying the city. In the past, Si-yul would have agreed without hesitation, but now things were different. There was Woo Hyun-se. If they moved to the countryside, wouldn’t he be unable to see that face every day? Even seeing him daily wasn’t enough; he worried about being apart.
If Kwon Yuwon heard this, he’d say Si-yul was making a fuss over nothing. But Si-yul couldn’t objectively judge his own state.
He wasn’t sure when Woo Hyun-se had come to occupy such a large part of his life. Love was scary. It was like a swamp or tar. The moment you stepped in, you started sinking, and by the time you realized it, you were already gasping for air.
Si-yul wiped his sweaty forehead and gulped down water. His throat kept feeling dry. Was it because of a fever?
The food arrived. Kwon Yuwon inhaled the ramen first. He finished one bowl quickly and devoured the tteokbokki just as fast. It was as if he hadn’t eaten properly during his travels; to say he ate like a horse would be an understatement. Si-yul quickly ordered another bowl of ramen. If he’d known Yuwon would eat this well, he would have invited him to the restaurant where he worked and treated him to lots of delicious food.
The water jug was empty before they knew it. Si-yul went to the water purifier to refill it himself. Lost in thought for a moment, he almost let the water overflow. He quickly pulled the cup away, but a drop from the spout fell into the cup, causing it to spill over.
“How have you been while I was gone?”
Only after devouring two bowls of ramen and even mixing rice into the broth did Kwon Yuwon ask about Si-yul’s recent life. Si-yul had only eaten half his ramen and kept refilling his water cup. His stomach felt bloated and his head dizzy. He had taken fever medicine before coming, but it didn’t seem to be working.
“I’ve been busy working. Oh, and I received a confession.”
“A confession? From who? What girl? Wow, am I going to eat wedding noodles soon?”
“No, it was a guy.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
As expected, Kwon Yuwon cursed. His expression was as if he’d bitten into a bug.
“How is it that you’re more popular with men than women? Looking at you, I’d think women would be all over you. Anyway, that must have been tough. A man, ugh, disgusting.”
“Don’t criticize too harshly. What’s wrong with a person liking another person? It’s not like you can control your heart.”
Words he would have brushed off before sounded different today. The person he was seeing now was also a man, not a woman. Though Kwon Yuwon’s disgust wasn’t directed at him knowingly, it still stung Si-yul’s heart. Guilt for hiding the truth from Kwon Yuwon added to the pain, making his chest actually hurt. His stomach also ached, and his head throbbed.
A strong orange scent fleetingly passed by, and Kwon Yuwon seemed to split in two before merging back into one. Si-yul’s vision blurred, so he squeezed his eyes shut before opening them wide. His exhaled breath was hot.
“Any other news besides that… Hey, why are you sweating so much?”
“Huh?”
Was the food too spicy? Or maybe he was having indigestion. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. It was drenched in sweat. Even if it was warm inside, it shouldn’t have been enough to cause this much sweating.
“You…”
Kwon Yuwon looked at him seriously. Then, with eyes as big as saucers, he leaned towards Si-yul. He sniffed a few times before hastily backing away.
“No way, you…”
The orange scent intensified before fading. Nausea rose and his chest felt tight, perhaps from eating even the little he had. He wanted some fresh air. Si-yul said, “Just a moment,” and tried to stand up, steadying himself on the table. His legs wobbled uncontrollably. Most of all, his stomach hurt. He covered his lower abdomen with his hand, feeling a squeezing pain.
“Uh…”
Strangely, his body wouldn’t listen to him. As soon as he took a step, the world tilted, and with a thud, he collapsed to the floor. Si-yul, unable to process the situation, could only blink. The impact with the floor left his body and mouth numb.
Kwon Yuwon shouted something, but it sounded muffled, as if coming through a wall. Even the vague figure he could make out disappeared at some point. Suddenly, nausea rose, and a profound darkness enveloped his vision.
Si-yul stirred at the noisy sounds and opened his heavy eyelids. He saw a white ceiling. Following a long, thin line upwards, he saw an IV drip with yellow liquid hanging at the end.
Not knowing where he was, he just blinked, when suddenly Kwon Yuwon appeared in his field of vision.
“Kwon Si-yul! Are you conscious?”
His eyes were red as if he’d been crying. Crying over someone who wasn’t even dead. Seeing tear tracks on Kwon Yuwon’s cheeks after so long, Si-yul smiled weakly and tried to sit up, but his vision spun and he fell back onto the pillow. He thought there was an earthquake, but it was just his body.
“Why am I…”
“Just lie down for a bit.”
Kwon Yuwon’s expression was utterly dejected. He looked like he was attending a funeral. Si-yul noticed the mix of unfamiliar scents in the air and looked around. It was a hospital emergency room, and there was a commotion in the distance as if an urgent patient had just arrived. But it wasn’t the smell of blood or disinfectant.
“Why do you look like that? Why am I here?”
“You collapsed.”
“I remember feeling dizzy.”
Kwon Yuwon lowered his head deeply, then hunched his upper body more and more. He rested his head on the side of Si-yul’s bed and pressed his interlocked hands hard against the back of his head. He was pressing so hard, as if trying to burrow into the floor, that the backs of his hands turned white.
He seemed to want to say something, opening and closing his mouth about ten times, biting his lips. His lips had white flakes as if he’d been picking at them with his nails, and there were traces of blood.
“What is it? Just say it.”
“…”
“What, did they say I have a terminal illness?”
Worried that he might never speak, Si-yul poked Kwon Yuwon’s side first. Kwon Yuwon sighed deeply and then mumbled in a voice so small it could fit through a mouse hole. When Si-yul couldn’t understand and asked again, he finally raised his voice.
“…They say you’ve manifested.”
“What?”
Kwon Yuwon had said something absurd. Si-yul didn’t believe it. Him manifesting at his age? Kwon Yuwon often teased Si-yul with nonsensical jokes. So he pushed Kwon Yuwon’s shoulder with his fist, telling him not to joke around.
Kwon Yuwon raised his head. There wasn’t even a trace of a smile on his face. His chin and lower lip were trembling.
“As an omega.”
“…”
It wasn’t the face of someone lying. Si-yul prided himself on being able to read Kwon Yuwon’s expressions better than anyone. He was conveying pure fact, without a hint of joke. He said Si-yul had manifested. And of all things, as an omega, which Kwon Yuwon despised intensely.
