Episode 44
[Hyung, are you free today?]
[I got some pocket money]
[Let’s go eat something delicious]
He sent a link along with the messages. Looking at the clock, it was almost lunchtime. Although Woo Hyun-se had left money for Si-yul to order food, he didn’t feel like using it.
[This place is Michelin-starred. I know someone who knows someone, so I can make a reservation. Should I book it now?]
[Usually, same-day reservations aren’t possible, but I can do it]
“That’s a bit…”
It felt burdensome to receive something for free when he hadn’t helped at all. The prices on the menu were quite high. He was already receiving more than enough from Woo Hyun-se, and that was sufficient for the sense of indebtedness that went beyond burden. Si-yul texted back honestly that he felt uncomfortable being treated to a meal. The reply came in less than 10 seconds.
[Then hyung, buy me coffee. There’s a cafe I want to go to, but none of my friends will go with me. I’m alone]
[I’m lonely]
There was a whole page of crying emojis. Si-yul’s eyes lingered on the word “alone.” If that word hadn’t been there, he would have refused without hesitation, saying today was difficult.
Si-yul put his phone down on his chest for a moment and looked up at the ceiling. The ceiling at the inn wasn’t very high; if he stood on his tiptoes and stretched his hand high, he could touch the fluorescent light. But not here. The ceiling was so high that even if Woo Hyun-se stretched his hand, it was far out of reach.
Maybe because they were always together, without Woo Hyun-se, the house felt like an empty lot. Even with the TV blaring, it wasn’t enough to fill the void.
“…”
Hadn’t he decided to meet Woo Tae-joo once anyway? Other days were so full of Woo Hyun-se that it seemed difficult to make time separately if not today. Si-yul got up with a grunt. More than anything else, the whining about being lonely tugged at his heart.
Woo Tae-joo waved excitedly from a distance. He walked briskly at first, then broke into a full run, his clothes fluttering. He stopped abruptly right in front of Si-yul, as if hitting the brakes, and grinned broadly when he saw Si-yul’s face. If he were human, his tail wouldn’t be visible, but judging by his behavior, he was like a large golden retriever.
“Si-yul hyung!”
His voice was booming. He stretched out his arms as if to hug Si-yul, but when Si-yul stepped back hesitantly, he quickly hid his hands behind his back. Si-yul still thought he resembled Woo Hyun-se, but his grinning face also looked innocent.
“You must be hungry. Let’s go in quickly. Let’s eat first.”
Woo Tae-joo put his arm around Si-yul’s shoulders as they entered the restaurant. He had said he made a reservation, and when he gave his name, they were led to a table. The atmosphere was similar to the restaurant Si-yul had once visited with Woo Hyun-se. Back then, he hadn’t known whether he was eating through his nose or mouth, and he had an ominous feeling that this time would be similar.
Si-yul followed behind Woo Tae-joo, already feeling queasy. He vaguely remembered Kwon Yuwon’s lament about how caterpillars should eat pine needles, and that if they ate something unfamiliar, they’d fall ill and die, as he watched fancy restaurants on TV.
“I’ve wanted to come here for a while, but I didn’t think I’d come with you, hyung. I’m so happy.”
“Didn’t you say you had a lecture today?”
“Ah, I skipped it.”
“Is that okay? The tuition is really expensive, isn’t it?”
Woo Tae-joo had the obvious air of a rich young master. Although Si-yul didn’t know the specific prices of his clothes or shoes, their quality and style exuded expensiveness. Judging by how easily he made reservations at restaurants like this, he must have grown up without any financial constraints. A greenhouse flower who grew up with plenty of parental love, bright and happy without a care.
To Si-yul, a weed from outside the greenhouse, Woo Tae-joo seemed to belong to a completely different universe. Perhaps that’s why, even when conversing, he couldn’t muster much interest.
“It’s fine. I have a lot of money. And my grades are good too.”
As expected. Si-yul nodded and picked at his food. Objectively, it was delicious, but it didn’t quite suit his taste. He preferred things like ramen or fried rice. Or the pasta that Woo Hyun-se used to make.
The meal ended quickly. Woo Tae-joo was in high spirits. Even with Si-yul’s somewhat bland responses, he skillfully led the conversation. Just like at the motel, he was full of curiosity and questions. He seemed to want to know everything about Si-yul, and his questions were endless.
“Are you always this inquisitive?”
The ice cream in front of Woo Tae-joo was half melted. For a place he said he wanted to visit, he barely touched his food.
“Ah, I guess I was being a bit nosy. I’m just curious about everything about you, hyung. Actually, there’s one thing I’m most curious about…”
“What is it?”
“Will you answer?”
“It depends.”
“Come on, don’t be like that. Just answer. Then I’ll ask.”
Si-yul was also curious about what Woo Tae-joo wanted to ask. The most frustrating way to talk to someone is to hint at something but not reveal the actual content. Si-yul, having taken the bait, nodded and said okay. Having received permission, Woo Tae-joo cleared his throat.
“Hyung, do you have a lover?”
Si-yul’s hand, which was scooping ice cream, paused. Woo Hyun-se came to mind. But the affirmative answer didn’t immediately come out.
“Ah, our first meeting was in that kind of place, right? I thought you wouldn’t have one, of course, but now that I think about it, quite some time has passed, and you might have found someone in the meantime. That’s why I’m asking. Just… curious.”
Woo Tae-joo rambled. Si-yul mulled over the word “lover.” Although Woo Hyun-se immediately came to mind when he heard the word, for some reason it felt like he shouldn’t say it out loud.
Lover.
Is that what they were?
A voice he had faintly heard over the phone receiver in the past flashed through his mind. Woo Hyun-se answering languidly but firmly that it wasn’t the case when asked if Si-yul was his lover. Time had passed, but the relationship between Si-yul and Woo Hyun-se was still ambiguous. Could he dare to attach the word “lover” to it?
Wasn’t it just a relationship where they only mixed bodies?
“…Do you have one?”
His voice lowered. And that made Si-yul think of Woo Hyun-se even more. He was staring blankly at the table when he heard Woo Tae-joo call “Hyung,” and looked up with a start. Woo Tae-joo was looking at him seriously. Si-yul shook his head vigorously.
“No.”
They spent nights together and were currently living together. In reality, they had crossed all the rivers that needed crossing. But calling Woo Hyun-se a lover felt somewhat lacking. While he easily used the term “hyung,” why did the word “lover” feel as unfamiliar as if he was hearing it for the first time?
He had never heard Woo Hyun-se ask to date, nor had he asked himself. So the term “lover” shouldn’t be applied yet. Si-yul convinced himself and soon accepted this reasoning.
“You don’t?”
Woo Tae-joo’s face brightened up as much as it possibly could. As if feeling a sense of camaraderie in their shared loneliness.
“I don’t have one either, hyung.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. I don’t. I really don’t.”
Woo Tae-joo kept emphasizing. Thinking that he must have been very lonely, Si-yul calmly moved on.
He had said there was a cafe he wanted to go to, but it turned out to be a franchise cafe commonly seen on the street. Here too, Woo Tae-joo paid with the coupon he had sent earlier. In fact, Si-yul hadn’t spent a penny and had been treated the whole time. He felt uncomfortable and tried to buy something, but Woo Tae-joo invariably stepped in and took out his own wallet.
“Hey, I told you I have a lot of money. I also got some pocket money from my cousin hyung.”
“Your cousin hyung gives you pocket money?”
Si-yul knew about getting pocket money from parents or older relatives, but he didn’t know cousins gave each other pocket money too. Seeing Si-yul’s wide-eyed look, Woo Tae-joo grinned.
“There’s quite an age gap between us, and he really dotes on me. I receive a lot of love like this.”
He added, “So I know how to give well too,” but Si-yul let it go in one ear and out the other. Even when Woo Tae-joo boasted, it wasn’t annoying. From what he had shown at the store and elsewhere, he was a person without any creases. Is this how everyone turns out when they grow up receiving a lot of love?
“Ah, I think I shot the gun too enthusiastically earlier. My arm is sore.”
Woo Tae-joo, seated at a window-side table, rotated his shoulder. Si-yul chuckled softly.
“You were shooting well though.”
Before coming to the cafe, they had stopped at an arcade they saw. When Woo Tae-joo saw the zombie shooting game, he boasted that he was quite good at it from his military days. He stacked coins on top of the game machine and took a shooting stance.
However, he was no match for Si-yul, who used to dominate local arcades with Kwon Yuwon when bored. Unlike Woo Tae-joo, who died without even defeating the first boss, Si-yul sailed through triumphantly on his own.
“This is unfair. I just couldn’t show my skills this time. Next time when you come to my house, I’ll show you properly.”
Woo Tae-joo clenched his fist and huffed. His face, with lips tightly pursed and eyes wide open, was so comical that Si-yul laughed out loud. Perhaps he was laughing out of joy at meeting a dongsaeng who acted so friendly, like Woo Tae-joo, something he hadn’t experienced since leaving the orphanage.
Woo Tae-joo stared blankly at Si-yul’s fresh laughter for a moment. His mouth, which had been chattering non-stop, was now firmly closed as he stared, causing Si-yul to touch his cheeks and nose where Woo Tae-joo’s gaze had landed.
“Is there something on my face?”
“…Ah, no. Nothing. No, wait. Now that I look closely, there seems to be something. There, under your eye.”
He pointed to a spot below Si-yul’s right eye. It was where a tear mole was located. As Si-yul was rubbing the wrong places, Woo Tae-joo soon reached out his hand. His hand was about to touch the mole.
There was a loud crash as a drink fell from a nearby table. Si-yul turned around with a start. A man and a woman were arguing loudly. Everyone’s attention turned to them due to the sudden shouts and curses.
