He couldn’t help but feel foolish for meddling in matters that didn’t concern him, driven by a curiosity that seemed to have grown unchecked. He had spent too much time and energy on something that wasn’t his business.
So, he decided to stop wasting his time. Although resolutions couldn’t magically control his thoughts, he knew he had to focus on what truly mattered. He needed to concentrate on his own responsibilities, like his current task of guiding.
In truth, nothing was more important than this. Lately, he had been deeply contemplating how to improve his guiding skills. It was a recurring thought, but now seemed like the perfect time to revisit it.
The reason was simple: the Black Mass inside Cha Jae-woo had stopped reducing in size.
“…….”
He silently wished for the mass to disappear, knowing full well that his thoughts alone wouldn’t make a difference.
The mass had, in fact, become more manageable. It had shrunk and calmed down, no longer reacting violently to the mana he pushed into it. This progress had given him hope that he might soon be able to eliminate it completely, especially since Cha Jae-woo had been avoiding gates lately.
However, as if to mock him, the mass had stopped responding to his efforts. It stood firm like an impenetrable fortress, refusing to let any more mana in and instead absorbing his energy before it could make a difference. This constant setback was disheartening.
“……I’m done,” he murmured, his face buried in Cha Jae-woo’s chest.
Initially, he would quickly pull away after guiding, his face flushed with embarrassment. But now, he had grown accustomed to lying together in bed during the process, and he no longer felt the need to move away so hastily.
He slowly shifted his body backward. Cha Jae-woo, too, seemed to have grown comfortable with the routine and didn’t immediately get up.
He wondered if guiding could hit a plateau. It seemed impossible, yet he felt like he had reached a limit. Cha Jae-woo was resting, so why wasn’t the guiding working as well? It felt like he had hit a wall.
“It’s not working well…….” he muttered, feeling the need to explain himself even though Cha Jae-woo hadn’t said a word. Cha Jae-woo remained still, not even nodding in acknowledgment. He had grown used to this reaction and no longer felt hurt by it.
But this lack of progress made him question the point of continuing his daily guiding efforts. He had reached his limit, and it wasn’t enough.
‘What should I do? Is there anything more I can try?’ he thought, his mind racing. But no new ideas came to him. He kept circling back to the same conclusions he had reached before.
‘No, that’s just selfish,’ he told himself.
He knew that increasing physical intimacy might have an effect, but what if it didn’t? Would it just be a selfish indulgence?
‘But it’s true that the more intense the physical contact, the better the guiding works!’ he argued with himself.
But…
He had been toying with the idea that increasing the level of physical intimacy might help him overcome the obstacle posed by the mass. Perhaps the current level of contact had reached its limit, at least with his D-rank mana. The mass was too strong for him to handle.
But suggesting this to Cha Jae-woo felt too forward. Moving beyond hugging to kissing seemed like a big step, and he worried it would come across as inappropriate.
‘Besides, I don’t think I can handle it,’ he thought, feeling his face flush at the mere thought.
He glanced up at Cha Jae-woo and quickly looked away. He didn’t want to take things further out of personal desire; he just wanted to improve his guiding.
So, how could he intensify the physical contact without crossing that line? The answer seemed clear…
“What are you thinking about?” Cha Jae-woo asked suddenly.
“Huh? …What?” he stammered, caught off guard.
“What were you thinking about to make that face?” Cha Jae-woo asked again.
He felt flustered, trying to hide his hiccups. Of all times, why did they have to start now?
Cha Jae-woo’s timing was unfortunate. He had been imagining touching Cha Jae-woo’s bare body. It sounded strange, but he was thinking about it in a purely innocent way—how effective it might be to have skin-to-skin contact.
He remembered a time when he had tried to check Cha Jae-woo’s condition without using mana and ended up unconsciously touching his body. At that time, he had been trying to sense Cha Jae-woo’s energy more clearly. If touching helped him sense energy better, wouldn’t skin-to-skin contact be even more effective? It seemed worth a try…
“…….”
The theory was sound, but he felt guilty even thinking about suggesting it. Cha Jae-woo might think he was being selfish.
He couldn’t even deny it. His dry mouth and hiccups betrayed his nervousness and anticipation.
…Yes, he had to admit it.
He wanted to indulge his desires a little. He couldn’t deny that he wanted to touch Cha Jae-woo.
But his main goal was to guide Cha Jae-woo. Didn’t that make his intentions a little more honorable? His personal desires were just a side benefit.
With that thought, he felt more resolved. He looked up determinedly. Cha Jae-woo had been watching him, his gaze steady and unwavering, as if saying, ‘Go ahead and speak.’
“I, I have an idea,” he started.
“Go on,” Cha Jae-woo replied.
“Um… as you might have noticed, I’ve been thinking… since we’ve been guiding every day, and you haven’t been going to gates much lately…”
“Why the long explanation?” Cha Jae-woo asked, propping his head on his hand and lying on his side.
He awkwardly avoided Cha Jae-woo’s gaze and turned to face the ceiling. Cha Jae-woo’s pose, reminiscent of a lover watching him sleep, made his heart race.
He blinked at the ceiling, trying to calm himself. “What do you mean, ‘what am I planning’? I was just trying to explain!” he protested, his voice rising.
“Doesn’t it sound suspicious?” Cha Jae-woo asked.
He pouted, scratching his cheek. Maybe he had been rambling, but…
“So, what’s your idea?” Cha Jae-woo prompted.
“Well, I was thinking… we could try an experiment,” he said, his confidence wavering.
“Go ahead,” Cha Jae-woo said simply.
He was taken aback by how easily Cha Jae-woo agreed. “Just like that? You don’t even know what the experiment is.”
“Does it matter?” Cha Jae-woo asked.
“Well, yes! What if it’s something crazy?” he asked, turning to face Cha Jae-woo.
He knew he couldn’t read Cha Jae-woo’s mind, but he hoped to glimpse his intentions. “It doesn’t matter,” Cha Jae-woo said.
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because every experiment you’ve tried has had good results,” Cha Jae-woo replied.
He tilted his head, trying to remember. Had they really all been successful? Cha Jae-woo nodded, confirming it.
He felt a surge of pride. He hadn’t realized he had been so effective.
“Ha…” Cha Jae-woo sighed, but he took it as a sign of affection rather than exasperation.
He smiled, feeling pleased with himself. Cha Jae-woo’s sighs and subtle smiles made him happy, even if they were meant to be exasperated.
He quickly composed his expression, trying to look calm and serious. He didn’t want to give the wrong impression by smiling too much.
He cleared his throat and looked straight at Cha Jae-woo. “Could you, um… take off some of your clothes?” he asked, trying to sound professional.
But his efforts were in vain, as his lips kept twitching into a smile. He couldn’t help but feel excited and nervous at the same time.
He quickly looked down and started explaining himself. “It’s not what you think! I’m not doing this for personal reasons, I swear.”
He could feel his face flushing, like a pressure cooker about to release steam. He was embarrassed, realizing he might be coming across as too eager.
“I’ll take off my clothes too…” he mumbled, trying to justify his request. He explained that skin-to-skin contact might improve the guiding process, but his words sounded weak and unconvincing even to himself.
