“Major?”
Noticing Iberis’s strange demeanor, Lucas called out to him cautiously. Though he had regained his composure, anxiety still lingered deep in his heart.
“No, um, I was just wondering whether I should call you ‘Lucas’ or ‘Luke’ from now on.”
Is accepting a confession this difficult…? Iberis changed the subject, unable to broach the main topic. This was also an issue that needed to be addressed, so it wasn’t exactly avoidance. Definitely not.
“Ah, you can call me whichever you prefer. They’re both me.”
“Hmm.”
Iberis pursed his lips at Lucas’s response. He recalled the origin of the name Luke Illum.
‘Luke was a nickname my late parents used. Even with an alias, I wanted to use a name meaningful to me… General Bismarck also said it’s better to use something related to oneself. It helps prevent losing oneself.’
‘I understand. During my time in the special team, I’ve seen cases where people using fake identities to infiltrate villain organizations either mixed up their real personality or became too immersed, leading to mental issues.’
‘The General was concerned about that too. He probably wanted to prevent me from becoming obsessed with revenge.’
Recalling their earlier conversation, Iberis was pulled from his thoughts by Lucas’s voice.
“Personally, I think it’s best to continue as we have been.”
“Huh?”
“It would be troublesome if you called me by my real name in front of others. General Bismarck and Lieutenant Denver are also cautious about this, addressing me strictly as Luke Illum even when we’re alone.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
Iberis nodded in agreement. As Lucas said, it would be much safer to call him Luke in everyday situations. But something felt lacking.
Having just learned his real name, not being able to use it freely was disappointing.
Iberis took a sip of the sweet and sour tea, savoring the taste. After a moment’s hesitation, he impulsively moved his lips.
“Lucas.”
Freeze. Lucas stiffened, still holding his teacup, at the name that flowed from Iberis’s lips.
“Haha… It feels awkward calling you Lucas.”
Feeling unnecessarily embarrassed, Iberis laughed awkwardly. Then his eyes widened as a shadow fell over his face.
“Again.”
“…Huh?”
“I didn’t hear clearly. Please call me again.”
Lucas leaned forward, placing both hands on the table, asking Iberis to call his real name once more. His eyes, tinged with the sunset glow, sparkled more intensely than usual.
Gulp.
Iberis unconsciously swallowed. The moment he met those brightly shining eyes, he felt a chill down his nape. Conversely, the inside of his throat felt burning hot.
“Lu-cas.”
Perhaps because of this, the pronunciation came out slightly slurred. Iberis opened his mouth again, feeling his cheeks flush. Fortunately, this time he managed to say it properly.
“Lucas…”
Ah. Lucas let out a silent exclamation at the soft call that wrapped around his ears. He didn’t know that this name, which had felt awkward even to himself after not being called for over 10 years, could sound so sweet. Overwhelmed by an intense thirst, he pressed his forehead against Iberis’s.
“More, please call me more.”
“…Lucas.”
Feeling oddly shy at the desperate plea, Iberis mumbled as if whispering. Then, worried it might not have been heard, he quickly said it again.
“Lu- mmph.”
The name that became sound was immediately devoured by Lucas, who suddenly approached. Gray eyes trembled at the warm sensation overlapping his lips. Hot breath and tongue rushed in between lips parted in surprise at the unexpected contact.
“Mmm, mm.”
Iberis reflexively closed his eyes at the suddenly initiated kiss. It tasted slightly sour from the lemon tea they had just drunk. But as their saliva and breaths mixed, his mouth quickly turned sweet.
Creak. As the kiss deepened, Lucas raised one knee onto the table. This caused the table to shift towards Iberis, making the teacup wobble precariously.
“Wait, haa…”
Clatter. Iberis pulled back in surprise as the teacup finally tipped over. A string of mixed saliva stretched long between their lips, as if connecting them.
“I’m sorry, I got excited because I loved hearing my name from you so much, Major.”
Pop. As the transparent line connecting them broke, Lucas barely managed to hold onto his fraying reason. He apologized with a sheepish expression. Even though Iberis had forgiven him, he couldn’t act recklessly as usual.
“You don’t need to apologize… Ahem.”
Iberis cleared his throat, regulating his uneven breathing. Though he had stopped it, he felt disappointed that the kiss ended so quickly. He rolled his eyes around, seemingly uncomfortable with the awkward air that had settled between them.
I need to say it.
Deciding he couldn’t postpone expressing his feelings any longer, Iberis clenched and unclenched his fist. This seemed like the right moment. Gathering his courage, he looked at Lucas more seriously than ever.
“You know… What were you thinking when you confessed to me?”
“Pardon?”
Lucas, who was wiping the table, looked up with a puzzled expression at the somewhat unexpected question. He then paused, noticing Iberis’s resolute expression.
“You said you were worried I’d hate you when I learned the truth, so why did you confess so suddenly? What if that had happened? Above all, I…”
I could die at any time. Unable to utter the words that had reached the tip of his tongue, Iberis swallowed heavily. No matter how he looked at it, he wasn’t suitable as Lucas’s lover.
“Well, I wasn’t without hesitation. I felt somewhat guilty, after all. So when I realized I was overly conscious of you, I tried my best not to like you.”
Lucas easily guessed the words Iberis couldn’t bring himself to say.
“I told you once before, didn’t I? That falling for you was unexpected for me too.”
“…You did.”
He had said that although he had guided many espers before, he had never been drawn to someone like this. Iberis wrinkled his nose, recalling the day Lucas confessed to him.
‘I kept wondering why it was you, Major. But I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why I was drawn to you.’
‘By the time I came to my senses, it had already become like this… I couldn’t do anything but acknowledge my feelings.’
Back then, Iberis had been too flustered by the unexpected confession to think clearly, but looking back now, he felt a bit happy that he alone was special to Lucas. No, he was happy.
“I realized that emotions aren’t something I can control.”
Lucas picked up the fallen teacup with a bitter smile. His long fingers lightly traced the rim.
“If you fill this teacup with tea to its limit, it overflows, right? That was exactly my state when I confessed to you, Major. My heart was full of affection that could spill over at any moment. Then, on the day I found you dying, engulfed in mana overload, the reason I had been barely holding onto flew away.”
Clack. Lucas put the teacup down on the table and met Iberis’s gaze.
“To be honest, until the terrorist incident, I was arrogantly thinking that if I just kept guiding and treating you by your side, I could eventually cure you completely. But when I saw you accepting death without resisting the mana overload, I realized that wasn’t the case.”
His golden eyes darkened at the memory, still horrifying to recall. It was an experience he never wanted to go through again. Iberis’s actions then had been closer to suicide than homicide.
“Former Major General Logan, villain organizations, monsters… You have many enemies, Major. That means no matter how hard I treat you, you could be in danger at any time.”
That day, Lucas clearly realized that Iberis could leave his side at any moment. Even without being terminally ill, his life was as precarious as walking a tightrope where one small misstep could mean losing his life.
“When I realized you could leave my side at any time, I could no longer suppress my feelings. That’s why I confessed.”
Iberis listened quietly to Lucas’s words. What his foolish self had only realized after seeing Lucas attacked by Carlos, Lucas had known all along.
Now he fully understood Lucas’s sudden confession. After all, he himself had only acknowledged his feelings for Lucas after experiencing the fear of possibly losing him.
“Even if we were to part ways tomorrow… I wanted to be by your side as a lover, not just a doctor or guide, even if only for a day.”
“…Me too.”
“Pardon?”
“I feel the same way.”
Iberis bit his trembling lips and forced a smile. Unlike his shaky voice, his eyes gazing directly at Lucas no longer wavered. After hearing such a heartfelt confession of wanting to live as his lover even for just a day, he couldn’t run away in an undignified manner.
“Luke, no, Lucas.”
Iberis stood up and sat next to Lucas. Then he gently covered Lucas’s much larger and warmer hand with his own.
“I probably won’t be a good lover. I might make you very sad. But…”
Iberis calmly spoke of the unhappy future. Even if he became healthier than now, there was a high chance he would make Lucas experience another loss, having already lost his parents.
That’s why he had tried to give up. He knew it was better not to start at all, considering the future, even if it was hard right now.
But now it was impossible. Iberis too wanted to remain as Lucas’s lover, not just his patient or esper, even if he lived for only a day.
So he decided to be greedy, even if he might be pointed at as selfish. Rather than rejecting Lucas out of fear for an uncertain future, he wanted to focus on present happiness. He now knew that was the best for both of them.
“I like you.”
Smooch. Iberis pulled Lucas’s hand and gently kissed it as if handling a precious treasure. The confession came out so easily, making his long hesitation seem pointless. It wasn’t the cool confession he had initially planned, but his uncontrollable affection poured out.
“I don’t know how much time I have left… but I’ll give you all of my remaining life.”
