So it really was true. It seemed Eden Reed had remained celibate all this time.
Had he been living alone in some cabin deep in the woods for the past several years, completely cut off from society? Because otherwise, how could anyone leave a man that gorgeous untouched?
Either every single person in the world had collectively become impotent, or the instant they were enchanted by those beautiful eyes of his, some terrifying curse activated and turned their genitals to stone. Or maybe there was actually something physically wrong with Eden Reed’s body. Honestly, the last option sounded the most believable.
My blatantly downward-moving gaze made Eden visibly uncomfortable.
“Stop looking.”
Apparently realizing words alone wouldn’t stop me, he covered his eyes with one hand. I rolled my gaze through the gaps between his fingers, and in the end he turned his back to me and stepped away. I stared blankly at his back before walking over and resting my chin on his broad shoulder.
“Your ears are red.”
At this rate, they’d turn pink like his lips.
***
Hot. My breathing grows ragged. Every time I lift my head, sweat gathered in my hair spills down in streams. I rub the back of my neck as though wrestling with the thick humidity. The moment I drag my hand across my burning skin and pull away, the air touching me suddenly feels much colder. Soon goosebumps rise across my skin, cooling the heat.
The body’s fierce activity feels vividly tangible—my fluctuating temperature, my racing heartbeat, all of it. The heat that had faded returns and wraps around my whole body. My muscles swell, and my lungs feel tight, as if unfiltered air has seeped inside.
I could’ve pushed myself until I boiled over, expanded, and exploded, but instead I gradually slowed the treadmill down. I’d only started running to loosen up my body after nearly two hours of training, but I’d overdone it. Calming the racehorse spirit that had taken over me, I wiped the sweat gathered on my chin.
I quenched my thirst with bottled water and stretched lightly. My body felt heavy, as if it were packed not with muscle, but thoughts.
“This is all your fault.”
A message had arrived from the perfect man to dump the blame on. It had been sent not long after we parted in front of the apartment.
Passing the locker room, I leaned against the wall and checked my phone.
Stalker
[Didn’t you go home?]
Like a true stalker, apparently he’d been curious about my schedule.
“Sharp instincts.”
Instead of going home, I’d stayed holed up at the fitness center the entire time. I figured moving my body would help clear away distracting thoughts.
[I worked out. I’m heading back now.]
While diligently replying to my stalker, I also felt guilty. My head was completely filled with Eden Reed, which meant I needed to stay wary of his terrifying intuition. I prepared counterarguments in advance in case he accused me with, You weren’t working out—you were too busy thinking about me.
How could I not think about it after hearing you hadn’t had sex since leaving me?
“Not even once…”
That means not a single time, right? Not once had you become hot. Not that kind of heat caused by weather, nor the kind that swells your muscles during intense exercise, nor the breathlessness from overworked lungs. Something entirely different.
As someone who knows exactly how hot of a man you can become, I genuinely can’t even imagine it. How is that possible? Didn’t you crave that heat? Were you living in some insanely hot country or something?
I stopped myself halfway through imagining Eden drenched in sweat beneath the blazing equatorial sun. Because in my imagination he’d appeared completely naked. The body without a single thread of clothing had been constructed from my own memories.
“The pervert here isn’t me—it’s you.”
As I tried to keep myself in check through repeated muttering, a man passing beside me with a cap pulled low visibly flinched.
“Ah, sorry. I wasn’t talking to you—”
Before I could clear up the misunderstanding, he hurried off and disappeared. I could probably find him if I searched the locker room and fitness center, but that would feel way too obsessive and somehow even weirder. Since he was probably another apartment resident anyway, I optimistically decided we’d run into each other eventually and headed home.
I agonized over what movie genre worked best for emptying the mind, but my plans fell apart. The instant I showered and threw myself onto the sofa, the bomb called Eden Reed exploded in my head all over again. The only comforting thing about this damned situation was being able to praise myself for my excellent memory.
Scenes from that early summer when I knew Eden flooded back vividly, one after another. One particular fragment lodged in my brain like shrapnel dragged me deep into memory, and I lay there hugging a cushion with my eyes closed.
One weekday evening, Eden and I sat across from each other in a beer hall popular with office workers, dressed casually among the sea of suits. A waitress with cute braided pigtails kept glancing repeatedly at the customers who didn’t fit the atmosphere. When I answered her with a scrunched-nose smile, Eden asked in a confrontational tone,
“Is that a habit?”
“Hm?”
“Smiling at everyone.”
“Everyone? Her name’s Jessie. She literally just told us. Already forgot?”
“So if you know someone’s name, you smile at them.”
“I can smile even at someone who has the wrong name. Mr. Alex Howard.”
Alex Howard. One of the aliases Eden used in the past. Instead of reflecting on the fact that he’d deceived me, he’d said some ridiculous nonsense I might’ve said myself:
“Mr. Howard was busy, so I came instead.”
Then, perhaps deciding it didn’t suit him, he acted as though nothing had happened and moved on without another word.
He returned to criticizing my smile.
“If you smile like that, people are bound to misunderstand.”
“Did you misunderstand? I’d love to hear exactly what kind of misunderstanding you had.”
I curled up the corners of my lips and propped my chin on my palm. After a brief pause, Eden’s gaze settled on me.
“Wrong guess. I’m saying other people might misunderstand. Not me.”
I was disappointed by the indifferent answer, though not enough to get discouraged. Smiling even more deeply, I swung my foot lightly. Under the small round table, it was easy to find and bump into Eden’s long legs.
“In case you thought it was an accident, I’ll let you know—I did that on purpose.”
“Bad habit. What if I’d been wearing pants I care about?”
“Drop them off next door. I’ll wash them personally.”
“That’s just another scheme to invite me over.”
“Since you already know, you could just come over. You’ve rejected me five times already!”
“Four.”
Eden wasn’t an easy man. His stiff attitude only made me burn hotter.
“One day I’ll definitely succeed.”
“We’ll see.”
“You came out drinking with me today, didn’t you?”
Whenever I asked him to eat together, he’d say he’d already eaten. If I suggested a walk in the nearby park, he’d say he didn’t want to smell grass. If I invited him to a bookstore considering his tastes, he’d say he’d start buying books online from now on. If I suggested basketball, he’d say he preferred football. If I proposed gathering people to play football, he’d say football was more enjoyable to watch. And of course he’d rejected my invitation to come over four separate times. Every suggestion went astray, so all we’d ever done until now was talk in front of our apartments.
Today, though, I happened to run into him on the street and chased after him asking if he wanted a drink. And finally, he’d agreed.
Though considering the disappointing outcome after all my perseverance, it was hard to celebrate.
“That only makes it worse. I can’t trust the judgment of someone who picks a beer hall like this for a date spot.”
Honestly, even I knew a beer hall packed with exhausted office workers complaining about life wasn’t the best choice. If I’d had time to pick properly, I would’ve found somewhere with a calmer atmosphere, good drinks, and a smooth music selection.
But the pressure to move before Eden changed his mind shoved me into the nearest bar available, and that was how we ended up in a place where everyone except cute waitress Jessie wore business suits.
“Give me a chance to recover. Want to change places now?”
“It’s fine.”
Pouting my lips, I was about to blow out a mocking “pfft” when I suddenly froze. By the time I tilted my head, Eden had probably already realized it too—the phrase in his words that stood out awkwardly.
It was as out of place as a chicken patty in a hamburger. To an Italian, probably the equivalent of pineapple on pizza. Something impossible to ignore.
“Were we on a date?”
“……”
“You said “date spot.””
“It was a mistake. Obviously.”
Eden didn’t stutter or rush to explain himself. His expression didn’t change in the slightest; his face remained perfectly calm. If he hadn’t nearly dropped his beer glass, I might’ve believed him.
“Ah.”
Barely catching the slipping handle, he licked the spilled beer from the back of his hand with his lips. It almost looked like he bit down lightly on his lower lip too.
“See? Good thing your date partner came prepared.”
I teasingly winked and handed him a handkerchief. It was obvious Eden’s reaction would be cold. As he let out a faint scoff, I blinked my other eye at him too.
“Sorry. It’s my first date, so I’m inexperienced. Next time let’s go somewhere classy with a view of the city lights.”
If he’d just played along with the joke, the mistake could’ve passed naturally, but clumsy Eden instead built another wall with a serious face.
“Once I finish this glass, I’m leaving. So if you’re going to tease me more, hurry up and get it all out now.”
Hearing him declare he’d end the drinking session I’d fought so hard to obtain so quickly felt unfair. There was still plenty of beer left in his glass, but if he were a heavy drinker, he could finish it in one go. Hoping he didn’t enjoy alcohol as much as he looked like he might, I grumbled,
“Are you Cinderella? Do you have to go home before midnight?”
“Cinderella wasn’t a princess. And it’s nowhere near midnight yet.”
“It’s a metaphor.”
Even when I sighed in defeat, he hardly softened. Watching him leisurely drink his beer while tormenting my nerves should’ve annoyed me, but it didn’t. It felt more like cherishing treasure, or refusing to pluck flowers carelessly. I was weak against his beautiful face.
His pale skin suited both the orange glow of sunset and the city lights at night. Colorful lights stretched across the bridge of his nose and retreated again.
To preserve the possibility of another meeting, I decided not to act pathetically tonight. Instead of clinging to Eden asking him to stay longer, I used the time I’d been given to keep the conversation going.
It would’ve been perfect if he’d fallen completely for my charm and ordered another beer, but sadly that never happened. Just shy of thirty minutes later, Eden set down his empty glass.
I matched his pace.
Leaving generous tips and careless smiles behind for kind waitress Jessie, we exited the beer hall. I liked that Eden lived next door. It meant we shared the same route home. Beside him as he walked calmly, I bounced around restlessly. Walking on his right, then hopping to his left, then walking backward in front of him so we faced each other. I was slightly intoxicated by the gaze constantly following me.
“Be honest. You’re having fun hanging out with me, right?”
“You’ll be disappointed by the answer. Still okay with hearing it?”
“No way.”
Confidently, I stepped repeatedly with my left foot. It was perfectly stable footwork, but when Eden suddenly strode closer, I staggered. Thinking I’d misstepped, he froze with one arm stretched out to catch me.
Honestly, it would’ve been fine if I’d actually been in danger. Then I would’ve fallen straight into Eden’s arms.
Unfortunately, I regained my balance on my own. His hand stopped just short of touching me before pulling away.
“Ha, seriously…”
“It’s impossible to just stand there and watch me, isn’t it? A man like me can’t be left alone.”
“At least you’re aware you’re acting like a mischievous child.”
This time I stepped repeatedly with my right foot. I was in high spirits.
“I’m an adult who’s preserved his inner child!”
“You don’t look like an adult.”
“Then how do I look like one?”
“Stop bouncing around and walk properly while looking ahead.”
Reluctantly, I acted like an adult. Walking beside Eden, silence and conversation alternated between us. Mostly—no, absolutely—I was always the one who spoke first. I tossed out pointless comments or asked questions.
Eden never ignored my words carelessly, but the information he gave about himself was limited, and he constantly redirected questions back toward me. Still, I didn’t mind. I liked that he was focused on me.
“Do you dream often? When you sleep, I mean.”
“Never really thought about it.”
“Think about it now.”
“Not often.”
“Did you dream yesterday? What kind of dream was it?”
“What about you?”
I’d waited until we reached the front of our building because I knew he’d throw the question back at me. Standing there with the elegant five-story Upper East building behind me, I answered,
“A dream about you hanging out in my room. Want to make my dream come true? Come over tomorrow. Anytime.”
“Why are you so…”
“Desperate to invite you over? Persistence is a man’s destiny.”
Truthfully, I’d never really devoted myself to anything before. Things came easily to me without effort, so I’d always been carefree. This persistence I showed toward Eden Reed felt stranger to me than anyone else.
“I’ll prepare coffee you’ll like. Better served in an ordinary mug than some antique teacup, right? I’ll keep the temperature comfortably warm, and play the kind of R&B you said you listened to at my age in the background. It’ll be just as nice as a restaurant overlooking the city lights.”
As I confidently promised to prepare everything perfectly, Eden smiled faintly. It was the kind of unconscious smile that would disappear immediately if he noticed it himself, so I kept my poker face despite once again being struck by how beautiful he was.
Brushing back the smooth blond hair falling over his forehead, he slowly closed and reopened his eyes. Beneath the lids shaded by thick lashes, it looked like a stage designed solely to make his eyes shine brighter. The remnants of laughter on his face blended perfectly with the radiant light around him.
If gazes had physical form, would you have stroked me then? Poked me? Kneaded me? I don’t know how exactly you touched me, but I remember being ticklish from it.
“Sounds good enough to be a date spot.”
By belatedly accepting my joke, he finally accepted my invitation too. After five tries, I’d achieved a historic victory, and I threw both arms high into the air cheering.
“I did it! Woohoo!”
As though embarrassed by me, Eden hurried away with quick steps.
“See you tomorrow!”
The loud voice I’d shouted after him woke me from the memory. The moment I opened my eyes again, a sudden thought struck me.
How had Eden Reed known? That I was going to meet my mother the next day.
