Kang Han-gyeom was flustered. It was clearly Korean, but he couldn’t understand a word of it. The hand pressing firmly on his head made it a little hard to breathe, so the only thing he could do was clutch Won-hyeok’s clothes.
“What are you doing?”
“Who’s in front of you?”
The two voices came through in a dull buzz. Since Won-hyeok was pressing his face down and covering him, it seemed they couldn’t tell it was Han-gyeom.
“Han-gyeom.”
“Han-gyeom? Then why’s he like that?”
“He said his head was a little dizzy. He came because he had something to tell me, but could you two go eat lunch first?”
Won-hyeok’s lie was incredibly natural. With that smooth explanation, Han-gyeom somehow became the person leaning on him because he was dizzy. His voice had completely softened. Since he was leaning against him like this, his usual gentle, smiling voice seemed even easier to hear.
Since he was already leaning on him anyway, Han-gyeom decided he might as well indulge his private desires a little more and buried his face deeper into his shoulder. The faint scent of fabric softener clinging to his clothes was incredibly fresh. Since he wasn’t an omega and couldn’t smell pheromones, he was grateful he could at least notice something like this.
“All right. Han-gyeom, if you’re really hurting, go home.”
“Yeah. Missing one day of college won’t make the world collapse.”
At Kim Sun-woo and Kang Yubin’s worried voices, Han-gyeom almost reflexively lifted his head to thank them. But thanks to Won-hyeok deftly pressing the back of his head down again, he ended up not seeing either of their faces until the very end.
Not long after, the surroundings quieted down. The force pressing on his head gradually disappeared too, and Han-gyeom slowly raised it. He had been leaning on him the whole time, so he tried to fix his flattened bangs, when a deep sigh fell from above.
“Hey… no, Han-gyeom. Did you cut your hair?”
“Yes!”
“Who said you could?”
“Pardon?”
“No, I mean, you didn’t say anything to me about cutting it.”
Only then did it hit him. Was this the sort of thing people in relationships were supposed to report too? He hadn’t thought that far ahead, so Han-gyeom fell into serious contemplation, and Won-hyeok reached out with a furrowed brow.
He tugged on the shortened bangs as if trying to lengthen them, then pressed them flat with his palm. Of course, naturally, that did nothing to make his hair any longer.
“I’ll tell you next time. I still don’t really know much about that kind of thing…”
Han-gyeom scratched his head. The lecture hall corridor, long emptied of people, was profoundly quiet. Usually, silence has an excellent effect when it comes to bringing one’s reason back. Won-hyeok, somewhat regaining his senses, lowered his gaze.
The naturally brown hair touched by sunlight streaming through the window gap looked neat. Before, he had occasionally caught glimpses of the eyes behind his glasses through the strands of hair, but now those large, clear eyes were plainly visible without anything obstructing them. The downturned corners too.
“Sunbae, you know… Does it not suit me?”
Maybe it was because of his translucent skin, or maybe it was just his constitution, but Han-gyeom’s face reddened easily. Especially in front of Won-hyeok, his face heated up from the smallest things.
Won-hyeok usually judged that by looking at Han-gyeom’s earlobes or the back of his neck. But right now, the area around his eyes was red as he asked whether cutting his hair suited him. It seemed as though the flush that had risen from his cheeks, not his earlobes or the back of his neck, had spread upward, tinting the area around his eyes a peachy pink.
He was only shyly asking whether it suited him, but somehow even that made him look pitifully lovely. Now that more of him was exposed, an atmosphere Won-hyeok had never been able to see before was beginning to show. It was only today that Won-hyeok learned there was a small mole beneath Han-gyeom’s left eyebrow.
“……”
Won-hyeok braced a hand against the wall and clenched his fist tight. With one hand, he thoroughly ruffled up his own hair. He had gotten up early that morning to style it, trying to cover the tiredness on his face from not sleeping well these days, but it was helplessly ruined.
If he were being honest, he felt like smashing all the window glass and shouting outside. It felt like only then would this inexplicable surge of frustration subside a little.
“Did you… eat?”
But Won-hyeok smiled, suppressing his emotions as much as possible. The corners of his mouth, forced upward, twitched.
“No. I came here first because I wanted to see you, sunbae.”
Completely unaware of Won-hyeok’s state of mind, Han-gyeom answered with his tail practically wagging.
“Let’s eat lunch. We can talk while we eat.”
“Okay, then somewhere around here—”
“No!”
At Won-hyeok suddenly shouting, Han-gyeom’s small shoulders gave a startled flutter.
“Let’s go somewhere as far from school as possible. I’ve eaten around here so much I’m kind of sick of it. Right?”
Han-gyeom mostly ate in the student cafeteria, so he hadn’t tried enough restaurants around here to get sick of them, but if it was Won-hyeok, that seemed entirely possible.
After leaving the College of Humanities building, Han-gyeom simply grinned to himself and trotted along at Won-hyeok’s side. Every so often, he glanced at Won-hyeok too, following his steps with a happier expression than anyone else in the world.
On the other hand, Won-hyeok kept his fist tightly clenched and maintained an even expression by force. Right now, he felt like if he let his guard down even a little, he wouldn’t be able to control his expression properly.
That was how the two of them headed somewhere a little ways away from school. Considering the time they’d need to return for the next class, it was exactly the farthest distance possible.
“Sunbae, do you like gukbap?”
“…Of course. Why? Do I look like someone who wouldn’t eat gukbap? We even went to eat hangover soup together before.”
On the shabby exterior of the restaurant, there was loud lettering boasting something about being the original gukbap place with decades of tradition. Han-gyeom didn’t think of himself as especially narrow-minded, but honestly, he never expected Won-hyeok to bring him to eat gukbap. The man wearing an ivory luxury knit sweater and this shop somehow didn’t match.
“Let’s go in. It’s pretty good here.”
When they slid open the door and entered, a noisy clamor immediately crashed over them. It really did seem to be a popular place. The inside of the restaurant was packed with people, most of them middle-aged men or elderly people.
While Won-hyeok was ordering, Han-gyeom looked around. Maybe if there were one place where Won-hyeok, who drew people’s attention wherever he went, couldn’t show off his skills, it would be here. The men around them were too busy passionately spraying spit while talking about stocks and politics to even notice that a handsome young man had walked in.
Once seated, Won-hyeok looked a little more at ease than before, as if he could finally breathe. It seemed he really did like gukbap quite a lot. Smiling to himself, Han-gyeom thought that was one more thing to add to the memo in his head.
Soon the gukbap they had ordered arrived, and then the owner lady suddenly plunked a can of cola onto the table.
“We didn’t order this.”
When Won-hyeok said that with his usual pleasant smile, the woman chuckled and looked straight at Han-gyeom.
“It’s because this young man is cute and pretty.”
“Th-thank you.”
This was the first time in his life he had ever received this kind of kindness. While he kept thanking her as she told him to ask if he needed more side dishes, there came a sharp creak from across the table.
The top of the cola can in Won-hyeok’s hand was slightly dented, and the veins stood out on the back of his hand.
“Sunbae? Do you maybe not like cola? Should I ask her to change it to cider?”
“…No. Let’s just eat.”
Won-hyeok set the can down weakly.
As he scooped up the hot, savory broth, Han-gyeom stayed busy watching the other person’s mood as he sat across from him, eating neatly.
There was a very important reason he had come to see Won-hyeok today. He wanted to resolve it as quickly as possible.
“Sunbae, um…”
Han-gyeom set his spoon down with a clack.
“What?”
“Are you upset with me about something? You said you were irritated that time, so I kept thinking about it. I wondered if maybe I, I had done something wrong… But I’m not very perceptive, so no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure it out.”
It took a lot of courage for Han-gyeom to ask something like this. Because if words like, “I’m sick of you,” or, “The more I think about it, dating you doesn’t seem like a very good idea in a lot of ways,” came out of Won-hyeok’s mouth, that would probably be pretty sad.
“That’s why I cut my hair too.”
“What does cutting your hair have to do with that?”
A thud sounded on the table. Won-hyeok had set down his spoon too.
“I thought maybe you got angry because of how I look. As you can see, there’s no, no part of me that’s attractive on the outside.”
“No, what… If I say something you don’t like twice, are you going to show up wearing contacts too?”
“Huh? Should I wear contacts too?”
“Just try it.”
Han-gyeom shrank into himself timidly. Sometimes Won-hyeok used a voice that was a little scary. Even that was a side of him he hadn’t known before they started dating, so it only made Han-gyeom happy.
“I’m sorry about that day. Actually, my stomach wasn’t feeling very good then. I wasn’t irritated at you, but the words came out wrong. You were startled, right?”
It was his usual soft, gentle expression. The kind face Han-gyeom knew so well. It seemed he really had misunderstood something.
“So you weren’t angry?”
“Of course not. What reason would I have to be angry at Han-gyeom? I should’ve contacted you. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Th-thank goodness. I was really worried…”
Han-gyeom needlessly stirred the white ox-bone broth in the black earthenware bowl. The finely chopped green onions busily swirled over the surface in time with his hand.
“Sunbae, from now on I’ll work really hard.”
“Don’t. Don’t work hard.”
“Huh? I didn’t even say what I was going to do yet…”
“You don’t have to. I like how Han-gyeom is right now.”
At those words piercing straight through his heart, the hand that had been stirring the broth came to an abrupt stop on its own. His face burned hot, as hot as the steaming ox-bone broth before his eyes. If he got this shaken even by a casual remark like that, he still had a long way to go.
Won-hyeok said he didn’t have to make any effort at all, but still, if he wanted to become a lover who suited him a little better, he thought he would have to seriously think about it from now on.
***
After finishing all of their afternoon classes, the two of them went to the library together for the first time in a while. With midterms drawing properly near, the reading room was even more crowded. There were so many students who failed to find seats and had to turn back empty-handed.
Won-hyeok stared at the PowerPoint on his tablet and tapped the screen several times for no reason. His gaze kept trying to drift toward the guy next to him, so he couldn’t concentrate on studying at all. To begin with, he wasn’t the type to sit in one place for this long anyway. In the end, he turned his head in resignation, only to see Han-gyeom nodding off with his eyes closed, his head bobbing.
“Well, would you look at that?”
Won-hyeok let out a soft, incredulous laugh. Resting his chin on his hand, he watched the little head sway back and forth as if it were dancing. Normally, at times like this, his bangs should have been fluttering all over the place. But no. Why had he gone and cut them off?
Tsk. Won-hyeok regretted, just a little, having said things like he was irritated back then. Then again, even if he went back to that day, he might have said exactly the same thing to Han-gyeom in that alleyway.
The words had come out half on impulse, and honestly, he didn’t really know why he had felt that way either. When he was with Kang Han-gyeom, he sometimes felt uncomfortable emotions, and a tingling sensation would spread from somewhere in his body. He hated that.
Being unable to control his own emotions was an extremely unpleasant thing for Won-hyeok.
Then the mouth of the still-dozing Han-gyeom fell slightly open. His lips, contrasted against his pale skin, were quite beautifully colored. Who on earth would think that face belonged to a beta?
Without realizing it, Won-hyeok reached out and lightly brushed Han-gyeom’s lips.
“Uh…”
Startled by the sudden touch, Han-gyeom woke up, barely lifting his heavy eyelids.
“You were dozing off.”
When Won-hyeok whispered softly, Han-gyeom bit his lip tightly, embarrassed. Then, saying he’d go to the bathroom to wake himself up, he hurried out of the reading room.
It was exactly like the back view of a puppy running away as fast as it could from its owner. Won-hyeok shook his head. Thinking he should at least try to focus on studying again, he fixed his gaze on the screen.
Five minutes passed like that, then nearly ten, and Won-hyeok turned off the tablet screen and looked at the seat beside him. The guy who had said he was going to the bathroom still hadn’t come back.
Did he fall into the toilet or something?
Of course, that wasn’t the kind of thing likely to happen in modern society, but for some reason, if it was Kang Han-gyeom, it felt entirely possible he could get caught up in something like that.
With no other choice, Won-hyeok came out of the reading room. He was striding toward the one restroom diagonally across from it when suddenly a familiar back-of-the-head caught in the edge of his vision.
“……”
But he wasn’t alone. Someone was standing in front of Han-gyeom, and the two of them were talking in a fairly familiar atmosphere.
“Who the hell is that punk bastard now?”
Looking at the flashy blond man, Won-hyeok muttered under his breath.
