Chapter 57— In This Life, I Promise to Never Let You Down
After retrieving the two little steamed buns, Ling Jingxuan did not return to Ling Family Village right away. Instead, he had Zhao Dalong drive the cart to Xinyuan Restaurant. After instructing Ling Jingpeng to take good care of the two children, Ling Jingxuan followed Shopkeeper Zhang into a secluded private room in the rear courtyard.
No one knew what they discussed. No one knew that Ling Jingxuan had slipped out alone for a time.
By the time they finally returned to Ling Family Village, dawn was already breaking. Many households were up early, preparing to head into the fields before the heat of the day set in—including the entire old Ling family, who had tossed and turned for most of the night.
Bang!
“Y-you… how could you—?”
As the ox cart passed by the Ling residence, they happened to run into Ling Li-shi of the Ling family coming out of the courtyard with a clay jar in her hands. An ox cart was nothing like a carriage; it was just a flat plank behind the animal, open and uncovered.
The instant she saw the two brothers holding the sleeping children in their arms, the jar slipped from her grasp and shattered on the ground with a sharp crack.
The gentleness and maternal warmth she once wore vanished without a trace. Her eyes bulged as though they might fall from their sockets. She looked as if she had been struck by lightning, pointing at the children in utter disbelief.
“How could we what?” Ling Jingxuan curled his lip in open mockery. The smile on his face did not reach his eyes. “Madam Ling, could it be you’ve done something you shouldn’t have? Why else would you look so shaken this early in the morning?”
It was not yet time to deal with them. The children were back safe and sound; he had all the patience in the world to settle accounts slowly. But before that, collecting a bit of interest first hardly seemed excessive.
“I—look at you, Jingxuan, how could you say such a thing? I’m just a woman—what wrong could I possibly do? Heaven is watching. It sees everything. Where have you come from so early?”
Snapping back to herself, Ling Li-shi forced down the fear in her heart and pasted on a smile, pretending nothing was amiss. What she did not realize was that her smile now looked more painful than a grimace.
“That’s right—what people do, Heaven sees. Heaven is watching.” Ling Jingxuan cast her a meaningful glance. “Madam Ling truly understands that rare truth. It’s early, so I won’t trouble you further. Brother Zhao, if you would.”
Without turning, Zhao Dalong flicked the whip in silence. The ox cart rolled past her.
Only after they had been truly gone did Ling Li-shi turn stiffly and hurry back inside to find her husband. The sight of Ling Jingxuan and the two children had unsettled her deeply. Could something have gone wrong on Jingwei’s end?
Back home, the two brothers each carried a child inside and gently laid them on the bed. Zhao Dalong had already taken his leave. The matter they had discussed the day before would have to be postponed for two days because of this incident. He had not complained; before leaving, he repeated the same old line—if they needed anything, just call for him.
“The children may sleep a while longer,” Ling Jingxuan said quietly, sitting at the bedside after pressing a kiss to each child’s forehead. “Jingpeng, go to the kitchen and decoct Jinghan’s medicine and send it over. I told Shopkeeper Zhang there’s no need to deliver fish today. And until the jars for the fruit preserves are finished, there’s no need to go up the mountain. Stay home and rest these next two days. We’ll discuss everything else later.”
He had not slept all night; his stamina was at its limit. He truly had no strength left to move. This frail body of his—who knew when he would finally train it into something stronger?
“Mm. I’ll brew that person’s medicine as well,” Ling Jingpeng replied, his heart aching at the sight of his brother’s deathly pale face. “After all the chaos last night, you must be exhausted. Rest while the children are still asleep.”
His elder brother had wandered in confusion for five whole years. He had only just regained clarity, had only just begun to taste a few days of decent life—why did those people have to torment him like this? They were blood relatives!
“Mm.”
Ling Jingxuan nodded tiredly and leaned down beside the children. His eyes hung half-closed, drained of vitality. If not for the faint rise and fall of his chest, he might have looked no different from a corpse.
“Later I’ll ask Mother to come help watch the children. Just rest easy.”
Ling Jingpeng’s heart tightened at the sight. He clenched his fists and stepped outside, his pressed lips betraying the restraint he forced upon himself.
Toward the Ling family—and toward the main branch in particular—his heart had gone completely cold. One could even say resentment had taken root. If they had not bullied and harassed them again and again, would his two little nephews have fallen into such a deep, unconscious sleep? Would his brother, who had only just awakened to himself, be reduced to such exhaustion?
“Jingpeng… thank you.”
His thanks came out like a whisper carried on the night air.
Ling Jingpeng’s departing steps faltered for a moment, then resumed. Determination spread naked and unhidden across his dark, thin, youthful face. He had to find a way to grow stronger. He could not let his elder brother shoulder everything alone again.
Ling Jingxuan slept straight through until evening.
When he opened his eyes, the house lay in darkness. Only a thin wash of moonlight filtered through the broken window lattice, spilling faintly across the room. The two children had already crawled back to his side and fallen asleep on their own.
Turning onto his side, he studied their slender little faces in the pale glow. He reached out and took their pulses, fingers resting lightly at their wrists. After confirming that the remaining traces of the drug in their systems would cause no lasting harm, he finally exhaled in true relief.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
A low, magnetic voice suddenly cut through the silence.
Ling Jingxuan reacted instinctively and turned. A tall figure stood blocking the doorway. With the moonlight behind him, his face was unreadable—only the outline of his broad frame visible, and the faint but unmistakable sense of anger radiating from him.
Strangely, warmth stirred in Ling Jingxuan’s chest.
Lying on the bed, he smiled faintly. “And what would telling you have changed? With your current condition, were you planning to go with me?”
“Why not?”
The figure moved in a flash, crossing the distance to the bedside almost instantly. Yan Shengrui stood at the head of the bed, looking down at him stubbornly.
Heavens knew how worried he had been the previous night when he heard no movement from them. Whether he had felt such things before losing his memory, he did not know—but last night he felt it clearly. A hollow ache in his chest, as if someone had carved a piece out of him. It tormented him the entire night; he had not slept at all.
Only after overhearing their conversation and learning the full story from Ling Jingpeng did he manage to piece things together. If not for the last shred of reason holding him back, he would have stormed into town and slaughtered the bastard who dared lay a hand on his wife and children.
All day today, watching Ling Jingxuan lying pale and lifeless on the bed, he had felt both heartache and resentment. Heartache at his stubborn strength. Resentment that he was always kept outside the gates of his heart.
Was he truly so unworthy of trust? So unworthy of reliance?
Some emotions take root in a single glance and last a lifetime. Perhaps from the very moment he opened his eyes and saw Ling Jingxuan for the first time, they had already been destined to entangle with one another.
It was not because of the children. Nor because of a past he could not remember. Simply because of Ling Jingxuan himself.
Though he rarely appeared alongside him, everything that happened within this courtyard never escaped his notice. The more he understood him, the more fiercely his heart beat for him. Without realizing it, his heart had filled completely—with him alone.
“I say,” Ling Jingxuan propped himself up and leaned against the headboard, looking at him with an amused half-smile, “where do you get so many ‘whys’?”
This man… how could he be so blunt? So adorable!
His interest was written plainly across his face. What exactly had drawn him in? Ling Jingxuan did not know whether the man before him had been the same prior to losing his memory. Probably not. If he truly was Prince Sheng—rumored to be the imperial son known as Yan Shengrui—then as a royal born into the imperial clan, how could he possibly have been this candid and sincere?
Perhaps even Ling Jingxuan himself had not noticed: the indifference he once felt was quietly giving way to curiosity.
And more often than not, the beginning of affection starts with curiosity.
“Jingxuan,” Yan Shengrui suddenly grasped his hand, impulsive and direct. He sat at the edge of the bed, his dark, bright eyes locking onto him without blinking. “Let me protect you. Let me take care of you and the two children.”
Ling Jingxuan froze, momentarily forgetting to pull his hand away.
After a pause, he lowered his gaze. “I can protect myself. I don’t need anyone else to do it.”
To say he felt nothing in the face of such naked, focused devotion from another man would be a lie.
But from his previous life onward, Ling Jingxuan had been accustomed to trusting no one. The reason he had so quickly accepted the two little buns and the rest of the family was because, deep down, he had always desperately yearned for familial affection. And Ling Chenglong and the others had truly cared for him.
Romantic love, however, was different.
His tolerance for that was far lower.
“I know you can protect yourself,” Yan Shengrui said without the slightest sign of discouragement. “I’ve never doubted your ability. But Jingxuan, what I want to give you isn’t just protection.”
He lifted Ling Jingxuan’s hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it, eyes unwavering.
“You’re a smart man. You know what I mean. And you certainly know what I want. Give me a chance. Let me stay. Let me remain by your side.”
Rejection was something he was beginning to grow used to. It no longer wounded him as before. Instead, it strengthened his resolve to stay.
Having lost all his memories, he had none of the cunning and manipulative nature others possessed. He acted on instinct alone. And right now, his heart told him clearly—He wanted him.
Ling Jingxuan gave a soft laugh.
“A man without memories—what is his promise worth?” His tone was calm, but sharp beneath the surface. “You don’t look that young. At least twenty-five, I’d say. In this era, people marry early—fifteen or so. Can you be certain you don’t already have a wife? Children? A woman you once loved?”
His gaze lifted, steady and clear.
“I don’t know why you like me. I don’t know why you insist on staying. But I do know one thing.”
A quiet finality settled in his voice.
“You’re not the one who suits me.”
Ling Jingxuan didn’t pull his hand back. He lifted his head and met those focused, fathomless eyes—eyes that seemed to hold no one else in the world but him.
No one knew better than he did what kind of man he was. Ruthless. Cold-blooded. He never tolerated being wronged, and betrayal was something he would never forgive. Once he gave his heart, it would be for a lifetime. But if the other person betrayed him halfway through, he would not hesitate to kill him—destroy him, and everything connected to him.
He didn’t want to live so exhaustingly in this lifetime. For now, he only wanted to earn money, steadily and honestly, and raise the two little buns into adulthood. Still… a man had his physical needs. Ancient times were nothing like the modern world he remembered. One-night stands were not so easily found here. A single misstep and one could be branded with the crime of debauchery.
Perhaps, one day, he would find an honest man and live out an ordinary, peaceful life together.
But definitely not now.
And definitely not the man in front of him.
“I’m not married and I don’t have a woman I like. I like you. I want you!”
Unable to bear the possibilities he had just listed, Yan Shengrui shouted back without thinking. The moment the words left his mouth, both of them froze.
He had lost his memory—so how could he be so certain?
“Mm? Daddy, what are you doing? It’s so noisy…”
The two little buns, jolted awake by his unrestrained roar, rubbed their eyes and rolled over to sit up. Ling Jingxuan shot a resentful glare at the culprit, withdrew his hand, and pulled the children into his arms.
“We’re not doing anything. Just chatting. Did we wake you?”
“Mmm… Daddy, I like Father. Don’t chase him away, okay?”
Ling Wu pouted and wrapped his arms around his neck. He clearly wasn’t fully awake, only mumbling out his wish in a daze. On the other side, Ling Wen was the same—rarely showing such childishness. He burrowed into his embrace in a spoiled manner, resting against his chest as he murmured, “Father doesn’t seem as annoying as I thought… I want a father too…”
Wide awake, they would never have said such things. Ling Jingxuan’s already dark eyes deepened further.
Did the two buns really like him that much?
“I’ll stay by your side forever.”
Yan Shengrui was thoroughly pleased. Leaning over, he patted this child and ruffled that one, his handsome face blooming with a radiant smile. He didn’t forget to shoot Ling Jingxuan a smug look, as if to say: See? Even our sons agree.
Ling Jingxuan rolled his eyes helplessly and glared at him. So what if the sons agreed? He, the daddy, hadn’t even given his consent yet. He was a grown man—surely he couldn’t let two half-asleep buns sell him off in their dreams.
“Jingxuan, I’m sincere. Even if I regain my memories in the future, I won’t forget what I said today. Think it over seriously. I promise you—this life, I will never fail you.”
Strike while the iron is hot. Yan Shengrui shamelessly leaned closer, whispering the vow earnestly into his ear. Even someone as cold-blooded as Ling Jingxuan could not remain entirely unmoved. After a long moment, he finally nodded.
“Mwah?”
Overjoyed, Yan Shengrui nearly jumped up. With complete rogue-like audacity, he planted a loud kiss on his cheek. Ling Jingxuan let out a helpless laugh.
There was a kind of man in this world who was endearingly adorable, in his own way—a rogue. Decisive and ruthless before outsiders, lofty and untouchable. Yet in front of the one he loved, he turned into a shameless child.
It seemed he had run into one.
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Translator: LazyHermitGal
Author: LazyHermitGal
A Lazy Hermit Gal. A little support goes a long way! If you’d like to help me keep creating, you can do so at https://ko-fi.com/lazyhermitgal
