Since there were always tons of photos taken out and displayed, it took me quite a while to recall which one it could be.
It had been placed in the front row of the middle section, so it couldn’t have been of graduated seniors. It seemed more likely that it was taken at a recent event.
If I were really curious, I could’ve just opened the door and asked. But the glimpse I caught of that bastard’s gaze kept me from moving.
…I feel like I’ve seen that before. If my eyes weren’t mistaken, it was the same as that time.
The expression he’d worn when he looked down at Go Heemin, asleep in the empty lecture hall.
His eyes, hardened cold, raked thoroughly over the surface of the frame. The thumb hooked over the front traced along the wooden edge at the side.
Min Siheon tilted his head slightly to the left. As if gazing at something fascinating, one corner of his lips curled upward.
Unlike the warm smile he usually wore, this one felt chilling, and it startled me.
The dimples in his cheeks were the same as always—so why did it send shivers down my spine? I asked myself that question.
Then, with the hand that wasn’t holding the frame, Min Siheon reached up and slowly stroked the front where the photograph was set.
The gesture looked tender, almost affectionate—yet tinged with desire—and I found myself holding my breath.
The way he lightly scratched downward with his index finger somehow made my own skin feel prickly.
I could only watch in silence for a long while. Then, with a sharp drop, the corner of Min Siheon’s mouth fell flat.
Through the curtain of his lowered lashes, a glint flashed in his eyes.
Shadows fell over his pupils, darkening them, yet something vivid flickered within. At the same time, his head slowly lowered toward the frame.
Crazy… Min Siheon was pressing his lips against the photograph. Without realizing it, I swallowed dryly.
Why was it that, even while watching such a romantic scene, cold sweat ran down my back? I couldn’t say for sure, but a heavy atmosphere hung around Min Siheon.
Was it because of his eyes? His hands moved with aching tenderness, yet his gaze was frightening.
On the face I’d always thought gentle, there seemed to be an urge—like he wanted to devour the other person whole.
…Devour? Only then did it occur to me that the one Min Siheon had kissed in that frame was probably Go Heemin.
Thud—thud— A heavy pounding echoed in my chest as shock coursed through me.
It seemed I was feeling fear toward the present Min Siheon. I stumbled backward, retreating away from the department club room.
One step, then another. I just wanted to escape from that damp, oppressive emotion.
I must’ve been completely out of it—I didn’t even realize the wall was right behind me.
With a thud, my back collided against the outer corridor wall. The hook attached to my backpack scraped against the fire extinguisher cabinet beside me, producing a spine-chilling metallic screech.
My first thought was that this was bad. At this distance, even inside the poorly soundproofed club room, he must have heard it.
With the sole thought of getting away, I turned the nearest corner and slipped out of sight.
Just as I’d expected, it wasn’t long before the door of the Business Administration club room where Min Siheon had been swung open.
The strength drained from my legs, and I slid down the wall into a crouch. My heart was still pounding violently, as if it would burst out of my chest.
It felt like every sense in my body had sharpened. Goosebumps prickled along my skin as I swallowed, trying to quiet my breathing.
Don’t come here, don’t come here. I squeezed my eyes shut and strained my ears toward whatever Min Siheon might do beyond the corner.
Clutching my bag, I focused on the sounds. The sharp tapping of shoe heels echoed faintly through the wall and floor.
It seemed Min Siheon was still standing in front of the club room, scanning his surroundings.
There hadn’t been the sound of the door closing after he stepped into the hallway, nor any receding footsteps. He must’ve been searching.
In that tension-filled stretch of time, footsteps—presumably his—rang out again.
Thankfully, they seemed to head down the opposite corridor toward the building’s exit, not toward the corner where I was hiding.
Only after the presence faded into the distance did I finally open my tightly shut eyes. I must’ve gripped my bag so hard that it was wrinkled beyond recognition.
Staring at my trembling hands, I collapsed onto the floor. The cold seeping up from the corridor tiles jolted my senses.
I should have left the building then. But strangely, an odd curiosity took hold.
I turned my head toward the corner I’d hidden behind—toward the department club room where Min Siheon had been.
The Business Administration club room door was firmly shut, likely by Min Siheon himself.
Thinking it probably wasn’t locked, I cautiously got up and approached.
When I turned the doorknob with tense fingers, sunlight streamed in, and beyond it, the curtains by the window fluttered in the breeze.
It was the same peaceful sight as always, yet I felt a lingering chill, as though Min Siheon were still there.
First, I decided to look for the frame he had been holding. Unfortunately—or fortunately—I found it very easily.
Among the neatly aligned photographs, one was sitting askew.
He must have gripped it tightly; clear handprints were left on the frame and the glass.
“I shouldn’t have looked.”
Of course, it was a photo I knew well. It had been taken at the department MT I’d attended while pretending to be nonchalant, shortly after transmigrating into this novel.
All the photos around it were memories from that day. And of all of them, he’d chosen this one. A hollow laugh slipped out at Min Siheon’s choice.
“…You’re really that desperate, huh.”
In broad daylight, in the garden of the lodging, Go Heemin was smiling brightly with his arm slung around my neck, both of us wearing our department sweatshirts.
The events of that day came back to me faintly. The moment captured in the photo was when Go Heemin had suddenly pounced on me from behind while I was standing off guard.
In the picture, I was frowning as if startled, looking like I was saying something to him.
I could vividly remember Go Heemin telling me to smile while he posed with a V sign for the camera.
Then, my own face reflected faintly on the glass. It was only for a brief moment under the passing sunlight, but I could see how pale I’d turned.
I raised a hand to my face; my cheek felt cool to the touch. At the same time, dizziness swept over me, as if the ground beneath my feet had given way.
I can’t stay here. The image of Go Heemin smiling in the photo overlapped with Min Siheon’s earlier expression, invading my thoughts.
In a fluster, I returned the frame to its original place, determined to leave at once.
Slipping on my wrinkled, ruined bag, I hurried out of the club room.
I resolved not to answer the vibrating phone in my pocket.
***
Yeah, that’s why. That’s why I started avoiding the club room.
What I’d thought was fear back then turned out, now that I looked at it, to have been jealousy.
Ha, haha… Am I insane? A hollow laugh burst out at the absurdity. When I ran a hand down my face, the guys from my year who were watching me tilted their heads in confusion.
“Hey, Cha Jungwoo, what’s with you?”
“Did you get shocked hearing how insanely brutal Professor Oh’s report is this time?”
“Cha Jung, you’re seriously creeping me out. …No. Why are you acting like this too, after Min Siheon…?”
While I sat with my head lowered, my face buried in my hand, Yoo In-ho pressed himself close beside me.
He bent down and spoke in a low voice near my ear. Just hearing Min Siheon’s name made my face flush hot.
I waved a hand vaguely, saying it was nothing, and threw out a suitable excuse. I was in no state mentally to handle attention.
“I’m just thinking about the assignment.”
“You scared me!”
“Yeah, group projects are terrifying. I get it. I’ll cut you some slack. Assignments during finals are a crime.”
“Group project? Are you taking Professor Kim’s class?”
“Oh right, I heard that class is a total mess again. You’re in it too? Damn… Hang in there.”
I waved them off, saying I was fine. As the club room grew noisy with everyone’s chatter, I began sorting out my thoughts on my own.
So what am I going to do now? That was the biggest question.
Avoiding him might work for a day or two, but I couldn’t just go my whole life without running into Min Siheon.
And he was probably pissed that I’d been ignoring his calls.
For Go Heemin’s sake—and for Yoo In-ho’s—I had to return to acting normal again.
…But how? This first crush I’d ever experienced was causing far too big of a ripple.
Even now, just thinking of him made the back of my neck burn. Could I really keep him close and just watch from the sidelines?
Ah. I felt something like my patience thinning.
How the hell had that bastard Min Siheon managed to simply watch over Go Heemin all this time? It was beyond amazing—it was downright admirable.
And in the middle of that thought, recalling Go Heemin again turned my mind blank white.
He really was a good guy, someone I’d come to treat like a real friend in this reality.
But once I’d acknowledged it, the truth hit even harder.
Fuck, so this is jealousy. Even though my head told me to think rationally, my vision flushed red.
Cheer them on? Cheer what? Just standing by and watching felt like my insides were going to explode.
If I’m being honest, I wasn’t exactly a good person.
I had a foul mouth, a rough edge, and wasn’t particularly delicate.
Maybe that was why, deep down, all I wanted to do was charge straight ahead.
If I hadn’t known the original storyline, I definitely wouldn’t have held back—I’d have rushed in without hesitation.
…Guess I really like him. So this is the foolishness of wanting someone else’s happiness. Realizing that made it impossible to step forward.
I let out a deep sigh as the parade of feelings grew clearer and sharper.
Crazy bastard. If he didn’t already have someone, I would’ve devoured him.
I wanted to see Min Siheon.
***
It was after Yoo In-ho and I parted ways for class. Staying in the club room only made my heart restless, so I got up under the pretense of having something else to do.
How the hell am I supposed to face him? I wanted to see him badly, yet at the same time, I didn’t want to run into him for a while.
I couldn’t get a grip on myself. If I saw Min Siheon now, it would only make my insides ache more.
“…Yeah. Let’s just go to class first.”
Heartache was heartache, but I still had to live in reality. Classes I’d skipped after the semester began—using Min Siheon as an excuse—flashed through my mind.
The time I’d once felt thrilled about my automatically upgraded academic background and dreamed of landing a big-company ending now felt distant and ironic.
It was a love that would never come true anyway. I couldn’t let my life go down the drain over it. I resolved to focus on my studies instead.
