When I let out a sigh, he naturally pulled out a chair at the dining table for me.
To be honest, the fact that he’d said he didn’t want to be alone felt like it was pricking at my conscience.
“I just wasn’t feeling well yesterday, and I didn’t want to be alone. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you. You were sleeping so deeply…. And it was cutting it close for the last bus. It’s dangerous at night.”
“It’s amazing you can say that after looking at my height. …Yeah, well, what’s the point of complaining about something that’s already passed?”
If I had just ended my call with Go Heemin properly yesterday, the one sitting here right now wouldn’t be me—it could’ve been Go Heemin.
Feeling like I’d become some kind of obstacle in their love story for no reason, I stared at the person in question.
He had been oddly touchy since yesterday. I decided it was the result of unrequited love causing affection deprivation, combined with a feverish, half-delirious state from his cold.
He’d always seemed like the type to get attached to people easily, so I brushed it off as just being clingy.
It was a bit more excessive than his usual behavior, but when people are sick, they tend to act like children.
If I hadn’t seen that scene before, I would’ve been completely convinced that Min Siheon liked me.
To be honest, at first, I was confused about whether he had feelings for me. I might be a little slow when it comes to romance, but I wasn’t that dense—at least, I was confident about that.
Even knowing the story of the novel, there had been a time when I doubted whether Min Siheon’s feelings were directed at me.
But that misunderstanding didn’t last long before I realized it had been just that—a misunderstanding.
A faint memory surfaced, and I let out a quiet scoff. I felt embarrassed, as if I’d entertained some ridiculous delusion.
Sorry, but I had no interest in being a substitute, a jealousy trigger, or someone dragged into a lovers’ quarrel. I told myself to just laugh off what happened yesterday as him acting that way because he was sick.
It might seem cold to Min Siheon, but this was my way of being considerate. What would Go Heemin think of me later if things worked out between them?
“Hurry and eat. It’ll get cold.”
“Uh, yeah…. Right. Thanks for the food.”
Unaware of any of my inner thoughts, Min Siheon pushed the plate toward me and urged me to eat.
Warm bread, coffee, and a neatly arranged salad sat before me.
Noticing that only one serving had been carefully prepared, I looked over at where Min Siheon was sitting. In the bowl placed in front of him was the porridge I’d bought yesterday, piled up generously.
As if sensing my gaze, he lifted his chin while still holding his spoon and looked at me.
“What? Do you want some porridge too? Hmm, this is all mine, though.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not stealing it. You must really like porridge. First time I’m hearing that.”
“…Who knows.”
“Sometimes I feel like we’re not even speaking the same language. …My mouth’s getting tired. Let’s just eat.”
He was the one spouting incomprehensible nonsense and making things frustrating, yet his smiling face looked so clear and bright.
I knew nothing good would come from provoking Min Siheon when he was like that. I’d just end up exhausted again. So I gave up and focused on breakfast.
Throughout the entire meal, Min Siheon looked extremely pleased. Even though he barely took a few bites himself, he kept checking to see if I was eating well.
When I raised my hand and covered my face, saying I felt like I might choke from the scrutiny, he muttered an apology and went back to moving his spoon.
And that continued while I borrowed his toothbrush to brush my teeth, and even when I thought it wouldn’t do to walk out dressed in a way that screamed I stayed out all night, so I borrowed his clothes.
He handed me what looked like the smallest-sized T-shirt and cardigan from his closet, but they were still slightly loose. Min Siheon was so tall that even on me—who was tall myself—they seemed a little big.
The white long-sleeved shirt extended past my wrist bones, tickling the middle of my palms. Seeing my sleeves like that, Min Siheon failed to hold back his laughter.
“…Heh.”
“You’re enjoying this way too much. Is it really that funny?”
With his head lowered, he seemed busy stifling laughter over who knows what. Seeing the corners of his mouth curved upward in a soft arc made me start smiling too.
Honestly, if the alternative was groaning and feeling miserable from being sick, this was much better.
“You were sick and now you’ve turned into an idiot….”
“That’s harsh.”
“Then I take it back.”
I’d eaten, changed clothes—so now I really had to leave. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I headed for the entrance.
It hadn’t been intentional, this overnight stay, but I’d slept well and been well-fed. Let’s just call it even for the hospital visit, I thought, tugging at the heel of my sneakers.
Our class times were different, so I waved and told him I’d see him later. But Min Siheon’s expression shifted strangely.
Just a moment ago, he’d been practically scattering smiles everywhere. Now he couldn’t hide his displeasure.
In his dimmed eyes, something close to irritation flickered. …Did I do something wrong? Maybe it’d be better to leave quickly.
“I’ll wash the clothes and return them. You’ve got afternoon classes, right? Pay attention, and if we run into each other, say hi.”
“…Yeah.”
Maybe he still wasn’t feeling well. I brushed it off as that and grabbed the doorknob. It seemed like he had something to say, but if I stayed any longer, I felt like I’d get swept up in his pace again.
“I’m going.”
“……”
I hurriedly waved, saying I’d see him later, and shut the door without hesitation as I walked away. For a moment, I imagined him on the other side of the firmly closed metal door, about to say something.
“So what?”
I’d kept him company all day—that was enough. The cool air outside rushed into my lungs, and a refreshing feeling washed over me.
Even as I enjoyed the faint sunlight, I still couldn’t tell whether this was a dream or reality.
***
A few days passed like that. Min Siheon, who had made such a fuss during that visit, came to school with a perfectly calm expression.
At first, I wasn’t sure how to treat him. It seemed like he’d just been overheated with fever, but he had been clingy—that much was true.
I even briefly considered mentioning it to Go Heemin and helping the guy out. But that dilemma didn’t last long.
It was because of how Min Siheon acted, just like before, mingling normally with the group.
Min Siheon didn’t tell anyone—including Go Heemin—that he had been sick. Maybe he wasn’t the type to act spoiled in front of someone he liked; he maintained his usual calm demeanor.
Well, if it were me, I wouldn’t want to show a weak side either, especially when I had a certain image to maintain. So I decided not to bring up the visit at all.
Life returned to normal. School, home, assignments, college life. Ordinary, boring days no different from anyone else’s.
With the weather entering full early summer, the inside of the lecture hall felt stuffy. It wasn’t quite hot enough to turn on the air conditioner, so we were stuck experiencing the oppressive heat firsthand.
As I listened to the lecture, fanning my clothes a bit, Yoo In-ho, who was sitting next to me, slumped over onto his desk.
“What’s wrong with you? Sit up. You’re drawing attention.”
“It’s hot as hell, so damn hot…. If I’d known it’d be like this, I would’ve ditched. I wanna go to Dream Port and just suck down an iced Americano….”
“You can go after class.”
Dream Port was the name of the cafeteria café on campus. Yoo In-ho’s grumbling was annoying, but I was enduring the same summer discomfort while listening to this exhausting lecture.
I glanced at the takeaway cup on my desk, beads of condensation forming along its surface. It really was hot. Yoo In-ho pushed himself upright and tapped my seat.
“Hey, Cha Jung—seriously, what was up with you a few days ago?”
“What do you mean?”
“Lecture. You’re the type who never skips, but you missed class back-to-back. Fine, maybe the first day you just bailed. But the next day, Min Siheon wasn’t there either, right?”
He might lack tact, but his instincts were sharp. At Yoo In-ho’s words, I awkwardly turned my head. Keeping my eyes on the professor, I threw out a vague excuse.
There was no need for me to bring up something Min Siheon had chosen not to mention. Especially not to this guy, whose loose mouth made it feel like poison to share anything personal.
Besides, there was something embarrassing about talking about it. …This was all because of Min Siheon. His strangely glossy gaze came to mind.
“Didn’t you hear from Go Heemin? I just skipped because the weather was nice. Felt kinda restless, that’s all. As for Siheon, I don’t know either. Maybe he had something personal going on. Don’t go interrogating him.”
“Alright, alright~ nag much. Still, so you get affected by the seasons too, huh. Ha, the life of a returning student…. Too old to blend in with freshmen, but half our peers are off to the military and the other half are juniors or seniors, so you gotta hold back. …Hey, Cha Jungwoo. Wanna swing by the department club room for once? There’ll be a lot of girls, but there should be some familiar faces too.”
Yoo In-ho had completely sidelined the lecture, whispering to me. When he nudged me with his elbow, I gestured vaguely in agreement.
The club room…. I’d gone to our department’s room a few times, but never set foot in any others.
Since I’d entered this book after returning from leave, the entire school still felt unfamiliar to me.
I remembered the start of the semester—lying about having seen faces after several years, trying to memorize names and faces. It overlapped with the time I realized I’d transmigrated into a novel, making those days especially complicated.
Maybe I should socialize a bit so people wouldn’t talk behind my back. Even as I took notes, my thoughts were tangled. I could brush off Go Heemin and Kang Taeyoon, but Min Siheon still felt like an anomaly.
Maybe it was because I spent too much time with them. Maybe it’d be better to hang out with people I didn’t know and pretend to be an ordinary college student.
I strongly didn’t want to get entangled with the protagonists of the novel—but the feelings that had already twisted together inside me couldn’t simply be thrown away.
***
After class ended like that, I left the lecture hall with Yoo In-ho.
Dragging along the whining guy who kept complaining about the heat, we headed toward the club rooms. As we entered the building where the clubs were clustered, a strangely familiar hallway unfolded before me.
With a faint sense of suspicion, I glanced at Yoo In-ho. The guy who had been trudging ahead stopped in front of a room that looked familiar.
“What, this is the club room you meant?”
“Yeah. Where else would we go besides our department’s club room?”
A cream-painted metal door with a white nameplate. It was a place I knew well too. After returning to school, I’d often stopped by at the start of the semester to help myself adjust to campus life.
Joining wasn’t mandatory, so it was an open space that any Business Administration major could come and go from freely.
I didn’t know what had happened here during first year, but in second year, I’d pretended to know unfamiliar faces and made small talk.
I used to come here with Min Siheon sometimes too. When we had nowhere else to go, we’d often gather here.
After merging with Go Heemin, Kang Taeyoon, and their group, I stopped coming.
…Come to think of it, how did I stop coming here? It felt like I’d naturally grown distant from the other undergraduates.
Like peering through fog, I tried to retrace old memories in my hazy mind.
There had been some reason, I think. Something with Min Siheon…. Ah, whatever. Whenever it involved him, things seemed to flow past like water, making it hard to remember clearly.
It wasn’t something I needed right now anyway. I didn’t want to add new worries on top of the heat, so I decided to ignore it.
