When Eunho opened his eyes, it was to an unfamiliar ceiling.
“Mm?”
He pushed himself up. The small blanket that had been covering his body slipped off. It was covered all over in stars and moons—clearly a baby’s blanket.
“What is this…?”
Tilting his head, Eunho looked down. Beneath the blanket, instead of hands, he saw two feet. Seeing the paws covered in soft, downy fur, he sucked in a sharp breath.
“Looks like I turned into a rabbit again.”
Had he transformed before falling asleep? He tried to recall what happened before he lost consciousness.
“I went to the hospital trail… Did Ahjussi follow me?”
His hazy memories began returning one by one. The moment he remembered the words about breaking up—and Yi-beom firmly snatching away his shirt—his ears began to tremble.
Even thinking about it again made his heart feel like it might stop. Every time he breathed, it felt as if his heart, sliced into pieces, was stabbing him from the inside. Carefully, Eunho pressed a paw to his chest. Only after taking a deep breath did he manage to look around properly.
“This isn’t the hospital?”
Lately, whenever he lost consciousness, it felt like his location changed in a flash. Looking at the room that was neither the hospital nor his home, Eunho slid his bottom off the bed.
He stretched both feet down toward the floor with all his might, but they didn’t reach.
“Ugh—”
Thump. His body dropped to the floor.
“Ow…”
Rubbing his bottom, Eunho headed toward the door. He wanted to sleep more, honestly, but finding Yi-beom came first.
What he said about breaking up is still bothering me.
Could Ahjussi be outside the door? Staring up at the closed door, Eunho swallowed hard. Remembering Yi-beom telling him to break up, telling him to hit him before he collapsed, it felt possible that he might not even be here.
No matter how high he jumped, in a rabbit’s body he couldn’t turn the doorknob.
“Nggh.”
Eunho put all his strength into his hind legs.
“Huh?”
Soft, pale pink fur bristled upward.
“Why won’t I change?”
He tilted his head.
No matter how much strength he put into his legs, nothing happened. Huh? That’s weird. Wiggling his feet, he looked down at them.
“What’s going on?”
He strained for quite a while after that, but aside from his fur trembling slightly, he didn’t transform back into a human. Wondering if something was wrong again, he rubbed his lower abdomen.
“My stomach actually feels better than before…?”
Maybe it was because he’d slept, but he felt better than he had at the hospital. That’s strange. Looking over himself, Eunho swallowed.
There was only one option left. There was no way he could open this door in a rabbit’s body—he’d have to ask for help. Standing upright on two feet, he began scratching at the door with one paw.
Scritch-scritch-scritch! The sound of tiny claws against wood leaked out. It was small, but loud enough for Yi-beom, whose instincts were sharp, to hear.
After who knew how long he scratched, footsteps finally approached from outside.
The door opened, revealing Yi-beom standing there.
“Ahjussi?”
Out of habit, Eunho stretched out his legs. Even at the sight of the short little limbs, Yi-beom didn’t move an inch. He merely looked down at him with an expressionless face.
“Ahjussi, where are we?”
“……”
“Can I be discharged from the hospital now? They said the baby’s okay?”
Anxious, he fired off his questions quickly. Yi-beom didn’t look angry, nor annoyed, yet there was an oddly cold aura about him. Instinctively sensing that something was wrong, Eunho stepped closer.
“A-Are you hurt anywhere?”
His face looked pale…
“Or… do you not want to talk to me?”
“Yeah.”
At that moment, his heart dropped with a heavy thud.
“I don’t want to talk.”
With those words, Yi-beom turned and walked away. Eunho couldn’t even breathe properly as he crossed the living room and entered the room opposite.
Eunho’s ears drooped inward. It was the first time since they started seeing each other that he’d heard such a cold voice—cold enough to freeze his heart.
He’s just angry… that’s all.
Staring at the closed door, Eunho tried to calm himself.
Ahjussi needs time to think, too.
If the situation were reversed—if Yi-beom were the one pregnant, his life hanging in the balance because of the baby in his womb—Eunho would have made the same choice. Thinking about a future without Yi-beom was just as hard for him.
“It’s okay.”
Stroking his lower abdomen, Eunho whispered,
“Daddy’s just worried. He doesn’t hate you.”
At this rate, it felt like the baby might end up hating Yi-beom the moment it was born. After all, he’d said so many awful things… Remembering all the outrageous nonsense Yi-beom had said, Eunho added quietly,
“H-He’s not a total fucking bastard yet.”
Lowering his voice in case Yi-beom heard from inside the room, he continued,
“He is a bad bastard, though.”
“……”
“But I didn’t start dating Ahjussi without knowing he was a bad guy…”
“……”
“Ma-Maybe just… a little less bad…?”
For a long while after that, he stared down at his belly and talked to the baby. Mostly, he made excuses for Yi-beom. That Daddy did bad things just to earn money for his carrots, that he was kinder than he looked. Most of it was hard to tell whether it counted as excuses or insults.
Instead of a reply, his stomach growled loudly.
As if that were the baby answering him, Eunho broke into a soft smile.
“You’re hungry?”
He had slept for so long—it made sense he’d be hungry. And he hadn’t eaten properly at the hospital, either. The thought of food made saliva gather in his mouth.
Trotting into the kitchen, Eunho looked around. It wasn’t home, so he wasn’t used to it yet.
Usually Ahjussi would’ve prepared everything for me.
Clicking his tongue regretfully at the closed door, he licked his lips.
No, this isn’t the time for that.
If your lover is upset, you just have to accept it. Steeling himself, Eunho hopped around the kitchen. The floor must’ve been marble—each step made a little scritch-scritch sound.
Eventually, he found some dried carrot strips beneath a shelf. They weren’t as good as the ones Yi-beom had dried for him, but the scent wasn’t bad. Grabbing the whole bag in his mouth, he ran to the living room and bit at the packaging with determination. After clamping down and shaking his head a few times, the dried carrots finally spilled out.
He chewed them frantically. As the fragrant carrot flavor spread through his mouth, he finally felt like he could live again. Munch munch. Making odd little noises, Eunho held the carrot firmly in both paws. Each bite left small round dents in the strip. To keep from losing momentum, he used his tiny paw to keep pushing more into his mouth.
“I miss Grandma.”
The preservative-tinged dried carrots reminded him of the piles of vegetables Grandma used to heap up for him.
“She’s not worrying, is she…?”
He’d left a careful note, but maybe the wind had erased it—or maybe she hadn’t seen it.
“She seemed like she could read Korean just fine…”
While watching foreign films, Grandma would gasp, “Oh my, oh my, look at that bald head,” and then pat his own head. Thinking of that warm embrace, his appetite faded.
“Maybe I should’ve waited a little longer and said goodbye properly.”
Soon, Eunho shook his head. Thinking about what had already passed would only make him gloomy. He’d go visit once the baby was born.
“……Baby, should we practice doing cute tricks before we go?”
Then Grandma wouldn’t be able to resist hugging them. Eunho smiled brightly.
***
“……So that’s what he was doing.”
Sitting in his room, Yi-beom let out a sigh. No matter how hard he tried not to listen, he couldn’t stop his attention from drifting outside.
Just from the scritch-scritch sounds alone, he could tell where in the house Eunho was. It seemed like he’d wandered around the living room and kitchen, and then a small voice began drifting in.
“He’s not a total fucking bastard yet.”
“……”
“He is a bad bastard, though.”
There was no one else in the house, so he was obviously talking to the baby in his belly.
“Hah.”
Focusing on his voice, Yi-beom let out a hollow laugh. He’s already badmouthing his dad to my kid whose face he hasn’t even seen yet?
“My kid?”
Realizing he’d unconsciously thought my kid, Yi-beom gently furrowed his brow. Even if it was his child, it would disappear soon. More like a disease threatening Eunho’s life.
He dragged a rough hand down his face.
“No. It’s not my kid yet…”
They say beasts have an instinct to protect a pregnant female. From the moment he realized Eunho was pregnant, Yi-beom felt anxious whenever Eunho wasn’t in his sight.
If he could, he wanted to tuck him into his arms and carry him everywhere.
Without realizing it, he stepped toward the door. If he opened it, Eunho would immediately hop toward him. With those tiny ears perked up, he’d ask if everything was okay now.
He wanted, right then, to pull that warm little body into his arms and kiss him. Lowering the corners of his mouth that had begun to lift, Yi-beom slowly closed and opened his eyes.
“But I didn’t start dating Ahjussi without knowing he was a bad guy…”
“……”
“Ma-Maybe just… a little less bad…?”
At Eunho’s continuing words, Yi-beom leaned his back against the door.
“I have no intention of being only a little bad.”
Only if Eunho’s affection for him faded would his attachment to the baby fade along with it. Letting out a sigh, Yi-beom tapped the door lightly with his fingertips.
“Fifteen days…”
There were fifteen days left. Thinking through various options, Yi-beom stood there with his eyes closed for a long time.
