“Even if I leave, I want to call my aunt and go in her car.”
“I hate to say this in front of your friend, but the Chairman said he doesn’t want to take you in. Like I said earlier, he seems very angry.”
“Then book me a hotel in Seoul.”
When Han Jun stubbornly held his ground to the very end, Chief Kim’s eyes sharpened once again as they turned toward Yi-hyeon.
“Jun. I think it’d be better for you to follow quietly while this can still be handled at my level. If not for your sake, then at least for your friend’s.”
His voice sank heavily.
There was no explicit subject, but it was obvious he had Assemblyman Han in mind. Han Jun’s mouth—usually chattering nonstop without ever losing—clamped shut as if crushed beneath a rock. Yi-hyeon felt like he was on the verge of collapsing to the floor under the pressure.
Did he… see us?
Faced with Chief Kim’s cold demeanor, Yi-hyeon couldn’t help but keep recalling the image of himself kissing Han Jun. If that was the reason for Chief Kim’s chilliness, Yi-hyeon would’ve wanted to rewind time even if it meant erasing the happiest moment of his life—back to before he kissed Han Jun. No, before he ever stepped foot into Actress Joo Mi-yeon’s second house.
No—better yet, back to before he ever lost that bet with Han Jun.
***
The sedan that dropped Yi-hyeon off at the Orphanage roared away with a loud exhaust note. When Yi-hyeon entered his room, he finally realized he hadn’t returned the cardigan he was wearing—but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to contact Han Jun today.
Jun…
He hadn’t been able to say that he’d liked him first. Or that it had all started with Louis.
With a dejected expression, Yi-hyeon fiddled with the cardigan he’d taken off. A faint trace of Mi-yeon’s scent lingered. As his emotions sank hazily downward, one sharp scent suddenly cut through them.
“All this over just one dog?!”
In that instant, the image of Assemblyman Han raising his hand to slap Han Jun came vividly to mind.
“Ghk—”
Like someone who’d just seen a terrifying hallucination, Yi-hyeon trembled violently and clutched the cardigan tightly to his chest.
***
[Photo of Louis’s paw pads] xxhanjunini
– – –
1 [Jun]
1 [How should I return the cardigan?]
This is weird.
For days now, Han Jun hadn’t even opened the DMs Yi-hyeon sent. Even if he’d gotten scolded by Assemblyman Han, Yi-hyeon thought it was strange not to hear anything at all for days. Still absentmindedly fiddling with his phone, Yi-hyeon heard one of the younger kids say someone had come looking for him. He left his room and headed toward the Director’s office at the far end of the building.
When he reached the door, Yi-hyeon couldn’t bring himself to pull the handle. The scent lingering in the air was far too familiar.
Why is Chief Kim here…?
Could something have happened to Han Jun? No—that didn’t make sense. The far more likely reason was that Chief Kim had come to say a few words to a friend who didn’t “match his level.” Or maybe—just maybe—Chief Kim really had witnessed that kiss between Han Jun and himself that night. As all sorts of thoughts spiraled through his head, Yi-hyeon clenched his trembling hand tightly.
A friend wasn’t something that could be measured by “status.” Even if he was a shabby nobody with nothing right now, if he worked hard, he could someday become a friend who genuinely helped Han Jun. Yi-hyeon repeated arguments like that in his head dozens of times—anything he could use to push back against Chief Kim’s words.
After standing frozen in front of the door for several minutes, Yi-hyeon finally loosened his clenched hand and straightened his clothes. He even swept his hair neatly back, trying to reduce even the slightest flaw, before cautiously knocking on the Director’s office door.
“Come in.”
When he opened the door, Chief Kim turned his head toward Yi-hyeon with a brief glance. His high-handed expression was no different from a few days ago, and Yi-hyeon’s shoulders instinctively drew inward.
“That day was hectic, so I didn’t get to properly introduce myself. I’m Chief Kim, from the office of Assemblyman Han Cheol-woo—Han Jun’s father.”
“H-Hello. I’m Yoon Yi-hyeon, Han Jun’s friend.”
“You seem closer than just ‘friends.’”
At the offhand remark Chief Kim tossed out, Yi-hyeon felt all the strength drain from his body—so much that if he hadn’t already been sitting on the sofa, he might’ve collapsed to the floor.
“…What?”
“You know better than anyone what I’m talking about.”
Yi-hyeon couldn’t bring himself to respond.
Just moments ago—when he’d confirmed Han Jun’s feelings—he’d felt like he was flying. The world was relentlessly cruel to him.
“I’ve already finished speaking with the Director. She’s a good person. Sharp, too.”
Finished speaking with the Director. Did that mean he was being sent to another Orphanage? If he got kicked out, where was he supposed to go now? Yi-hyeon could only lower his head and bite down hard on his lip.
“I hear you’re smart. Clever. Then I don’t need to spell out what choice is best for both Han Jun and yourself. This wasn’t an easy conversation for me to have, either.”
Chief Kim said he’d already looked into a facility that would take Yi-hyeon in. Not only that—he’d cover living expenses until Yi-hyeon became independent, and even fully fund tuition for a four-year university. He slid over a memo pad and pen, telling Yi-hyeon to write down his bank account number.
Yi-hyeon knew it. Staying attached to Han Jun wouldn’t help him in the slightest. Now that they’d acknowledged their feelings, Yi-hyeon was nothing but the biggest obstacle in Han Jun’s life.
Assemblyman Han was a man who could cast his own son aside over a single puppy. There was no way someone that ruthless would tolerate a son who’d had his heart stolen by another man. Maybe that was why Han Jun hadn’t contacted him for days.
Yi-hyeon replayed that happy day over and over.
He’d loved the way the guy who usually shoved his face in shamelessly and cracked stupid jokes had trembled in a way that didn’t suit his big frame—his uneven breathing. It had felt sincere. And it was true that when Han Jun said he liked him, the gentle resonance in his voice had struck the emotions Yi-hyeon had been desperately holding back, almost bringing him to tears.
The happiness that had rushed in all at once had left all at once, too.
That was why the emptiness felt even worse. Yi-hyeon slowly pushed the memo pad back toward Chief Kim.
Chief Kim’s gaze flicked to the memo pad for a moment, then returned to Yi-hyeon.
“How should I interpret that?”
“I’ll leave. But I won’t accept a single speck of your help.”
This was supposed to be for Han Jun’s sake. If money got involved, it would turn into a transaction—bartering over the life of someone he loved. He hated that.
“…I do have one request, though.”
“Go on.”
“Whatever you saw that day, please don’t tell Han Jun’s father. And please don’t force him to study abroad. Let him attend school where he wants to. If you keep just those two promises, I’ll never appear in front of Han Jun again.”
Yi-hyeon truly wanted Han Jun to be happy.
Living in the nice house he’d gotten as a birthday present. Visiting Gangwon-do whenever he missed his mom. Going to college. He was good at sports—maybe he’d major in physical education? Oh right, he was good at drawing too. Art school would suit him. He was handsome, tall—he’d never be without girlfriends. Then he’d meet a good person, get married, build a proper family, have a child who resembled him, and live like that…
I’m a place I can never fill. So I can’t be what Han Jun needs.
The moment he reached that thought, his eyes suddenly burned as tears welled up.
“All right. I’ll try to persuade the Assemblyman on those points.”
“Thank you. If that’s all, I’ll be going now.”
“You’ll regret it. You should take the money.”
“I think I’d regret it if I did. Goodbye. Ah—one last request, if that’s okay?”
“Go ahead.”
“I borrowed a cardigan from Han Jun that day. I’d appreciate it if you could return it to him for me.”
“I will.”
Yi-hyeon fled the room before the tears could spill over.
Back in his room, he immediately opened the DM chat where he and Han Jun had been talking. Seeing the number 1 still there, not yet erased, barely gave him the courage he needed.
1 [I don’t think I’ll be able to face you, so even though I know it’s rude, I’m saying goodbye through DM. I’ve thought about it over and over, and no matter how much times have changed, I still think guys doing that kind of thing is a bit strange. That day, the atmosphere kind of swept us along, but what’s not right is not right. I’m really sorry for acting ambiguous and confusing you.]
It’s a lie. It’s all a lie. I like you. I really, really like you, Jun…
If only he’d confessed honestly when Han Jun asked whether he liked him—at least then he wouldn’t have regrets. No… maybe that would’ve made sending this message even harder.
With every letter he typed, tears streamed helplessly from Yi-hyeon’s big eyes. It was the most heart-rending lie in the world.
Knowing it would hurt Han Jun, Yi-hyeon still forced himself to push him away. His chest ached as if it were being torn apart, and he kept gasping for breath. He thought this was his punishment—for his selfishness in trying to stay by Han Jun’s side while hiding who he really was.
Even after finishing the message, he couldn’t press send. When the tear-blurred screen made the send button almost invisible, he finally pressed down with his index finger and sent it.
Yi-hyeon ran to his bed, pulled the blanket over his head, and sobbed in the corner of the room. Since his mother died, he’d never cried this hard.
The next day, after sitting blankly on the bed for hours, Yi-hyeon began packing his things. He had to leave before Han Jun came. He had no idea where to go or how he’d live—everything felt hopeless.
But the most unbearable thing of all was knowing that Han Jun would no longer exist in his life.
Bad puppy 😭😭😭
Uhm I am actually going to crash out over this HELLO?!? Where is my cute fluff from literally two chapters ago????