Yeah. You were born that way—what do you expect anyone to do about it, punk?
After the bandit collected the empty bowl and left, I dragged my basket over beside Simon. Sitting there side by side, blinking our eyes in silence, all that came out was a sigh.
They’ve been feeding us three meals a day without fail, so roughly speaking, about three days have passed. For all that time, they’ve done nothing but feed us and keep us locked up. What the hell is their goal, anyway?
Simon looks like a noble, so there’s a chance they’re holding him for ransom. But they never once asked Simon what family he belongs to. That rules out ransom as their objective.
Since I can’t speak, it’d be nice if Simon stepped up and pressed them for answers—but ever since he was captured, this guy’s been glued to the wall, not moving an inch. He doesn’t react much even when bandits come in, so it doesn’t seem like he’s scared… but he doesn’t lash out either. What kind of man lacks this much guts? And I even called this guy a friend and shared my precious hobby time with him—how pathetic. I’m never going to the maid waiting room with him again.
…Well, once we get back home, we probably won’t be able to do anything together anyway.
I let out a deep sigh that had practically fused itself to my mouth ever since leaving the imperial palace, and swished my tail lazily.
This won’t do.
Simon doesn’t look like he’s going to do anything, and there’s no sign of anyone coming to rescue us either. At this point, I’ll have to step in and resolve this myself. It’s already been several days—sitting around leisurely watching is just a waste of time now.
Outside the storage shed door, there are probably several bandits. Simon is useless, and I’m stuck in the body of a small cat. One me versus several large bandits. By common sense, taking them all out and escaping is close to impossible—but I’m not an ordinary cat. I’m the cat who once operated as Phantom Cat K, code name 00K, exposing conspiracies within the imperial palace. I’m also righteous thief K, who stripped corrupt old noble geezers’ pockets clean. For someone with a résumé like mine, the word “impossible” doesn’t exist.
Only one bandit comes and goes with the food. He’s got a shabby sword hanging from his waist, but he’s never actually threatened us with it. Simon’s tightly bound and sitting obediently, and aside from him, it’s just me—so they don’t bother being cautious.
I don’t know exactly how many are stationed beyond the door, but when I first saw them, there were about four or five. It shouldn’t be far off from that. This is just a small cabin, after all—there’s no way many more could be hiding here. Even so, taking them all down alone is impossible.
I glanced sideways at Simon.
He’s unreliable and useless, but still, it’d be better to work together with him. Tossing him out as bait and running away on my own if things go south… yeah, no, my conscience won’t allow that. Either way, I’ll make him lend a hand.
Let’s think.
First, I untie Simon’s bound hands and wait until a bandit comes in. When the guy steps fully inside, I pounce and turn him into minced meat. It’s not difficult. Didn’t I take down that old witch in one go? With my sharp fangs and claws, my powerful front-paw punch and aerial spinning high kick, he’ll be on the express road to the underworld.
After taking him out… hmm… ……..
Then Simon and I grab the horses and supplies outside and run like hell.
If we burst out suddenly, they’ll panic—then we make our escape in that opening. Obviously. Obviously.
With the escape plan set, I hopped down from the cushion and approached Simon.
I leaned in to bite through the rope binding his wrists, but—damn it all. The rope is filthy. It already looked unsanitary to begin with, and after being wrapped around his wrists for days, it’s become absolutely grimy. Just imagining putting my teeth on that thing makes me gag. In the end, I stepped back a pace. I glared at the rope, which undoubtedly hosted over a million bacteria.
“…What are you doing?”
Simon asked, noticing my intense stare. I lifted my head and alternated my gaze between Simon’s face and the rope binding his wrists. I could feel my barely suppressed anger starting to flare again, so I calmed myself down.
As I continued staring at the rope in silence, Simon slightly raised his bound hands and asked,
“You’re trying to untie me?”
I nodded. Then I shot him a look that clearly said, If possible, you do it yourself. I really, truly didn’t want to put my mouth on that rope. One bite and my mouth might rot—or worse, I could catch some disease.
Maybe he sensed my desperate wish. Simon stared into the air thoughtfully for a moment, muttering, “About now, then…” Then he brought his bound wrists to his mouth and began chewing through the rope with a crunch, crunch.
His jaw strength was ridiculous—the rope that had looked so sturdy snapped apart in no time. Only then did I look at Simon with a slightly approving gaze. Hmph. At least your teeth are useful.
“Let’s escape.”
Simon spoke in a resolute voice—the same guy who’d been clammed up and sulking for days. I nodded at him, finally seeing something knight-like about him.
Footsteps beyond the door grew steadily closer. Simon and I exchanged looks, signaling each other with our eyes. I saw Simon tense his body, hiding against the wall beside the door. I sat directly in front of where the bandit would enter, steadying my breathing.
The door slid open, and a bandit stepped inside.
I sat calmly, waiting for him to approach. Completely unaware, he trudged straight toward me. As he drew closer, I tapped the floor with my tail, counting silently.
Three. Two. One. Now!
I sprang up like lightning and clamped my teeth onto the bandit’s shin. Caught by my sharp fangs, he let out a groan—“Urgh!” I immediately bounced back, leaping high into the air. Spinning 180 degrees midair, I delivered a kick straight to his nose, landed cleanly, and watched him clutch his face. In that instant, Simon rushed in and smashed his fist into the back of the bandit’s head.
The bandit didn’t even manage a proper scream before collapsing to the floor with a thud. It all happened in mere seconds.
I stepped on the fallen bandit and flicked Simon’s shin with my tail. When our eyes met, Emoni gave an awkward smile. I let out a “Nyaang—” as praise. Punk. You can do it when it counts.
“As soon as we get out, we grab the supplies and run,” Simon whispered.
I nodded while thoroughly stomping the bandit beneath me with all four paws.
Simon slowly approached the door. Before following him, I glared down at the unconscious bandit. Judging by his clothes, he probably turned to banditry just to survive—but a crime is still a crime. I decided to leave him with a criminal’s mark.
I climbed onto his chest and raised a front paw. When I extended my sharp claws, I felt the body beneath me twitch slightly. Startled, I looked down at his face, but he was still unconscious. With my claws, I dragged a long scratch across his cheek and flashed a rotten grin. I didn’t cut deep, so it won’t last forever—but he’ll be carrying claw marks for a while. Bandit Shongki.
Feeling refreshed, I hopped off the bandit and headed toward Simon—but Simon was acting strange. He was looking at the unconscious bandit with pity in his eyes. One wrong move and he might start crying. Looks like feeding him for a few days stirred up some sympathy. Tsk, tsk. With a heart that soft, I worry where he’ll ever be useful.
I tapped Simon’s shin with my tail to hurry him along.
Snapping back to the present, Simon grabbed the doorknob and looked at me.
“Ready?”
At his solemn voice, I nodded. At last—escape.
***
People usually name two things as the most entertaining sights in the world:
Watching fires, and watching fights.
I’m a cool, chic city cat, but I’m still human at heart, so I enjoy those spectacles too. It may be someone else’s misfortune, but watching it can still be entertaining, right?
That said, there’s an exception.
When those things affect me.
Unfortunately.
I’m staring at a massive pillar of smoke rising into the sky.
Not from nearby. From far away. Because getting any closer is impossible. From right in front of me to the distant point where the smoke rises, the flames have already swept through everything, leaving it charred black. Entering a forest burned to ash is suicide.
I stared blankly at the burned—and still fiercely burning—forest, then turned my gaze to Simon beside me.
Simon. That’s the western forest, right? Or is it the southern forest? Don’t tell me it’s the northern forest?
Simon just stood there, eyes heavy, staring into the flames. I turned my gaze back to the burning forest.
The vast forest had almost entirely burned away. Deep within, visible only at the far edge of the horizon, flames were still raging. From what I overheard passing through a nearby village, the wildfire started three days ago. It burned continuously for three days straight, consuming the forest whole. People said they never imagined a fire could last long enough to burn down such an enormous forest.
