I was so stunned that I ended up just opening and closing my mouth like a fish.
Ra Ho-yeon added in a gentle voice.
“After Yu-jin got injured back then, he focused solely on recovery in the hospital for a while. So I’m really glad we could be on such a great program together like this.”
Whoa…
That icy, razor-sharp Ra Ho-yeon—who knew he could smile so brightly?
Sure, it was probably just a business smile, and yeah, I knew it was a textbook compliment.
Still, I didn’t feel bad hearing it.
I opened my mouth, pretending to be bashful.
“…It wouldn’t have been possible without the members. I just followed their lead.”
In reality, I’d thrown them into the air, told them to kiss and fight like maniacs, and left them to figure it out.
Regardless of the truth, the atmosphere had taken a warm, heartwarming turn.
“Wow, complimenting each other like this. So warm, so touching. Feels like it’s spring just here in this studio.”
After that, the show flowed along smoothly. The singers scheduled before us performed their stages. I didn’t know them well, but the songs by those well-known idols and artists were quite pleasant to listen to.
When I glanced to the side, I could see that, for now at least, the members were quietly waiting their turn, listening to the music coming from the stage.
Like Cha Si-yoon said, I don’t really have much to do here.
Sure, after the performance we’d be having a proper chat with the MC on stage, but from the way the members had huddled and whispered earlier, it seemed they’d decided to minimize my role as much as possible.
Which was fine by me.
This place was unfamiliar. The atmosphere felt like an entirely different world.
I closed my eyes quietly and just listened to the others’ performances.
A weird thought came over me, especially before stepping onto my first stage.
…This is really peaceful.
Just sitting still, not being attacked by monsters—it was a kind of peace I hadn’t known in forever.
Waking up in a stranger’s body and somehow becoming an idol felt less strange than this.
I wonder what Je-ha is doing right now.
He was probably hiding out somewhere, avoiding the government’s pursuit. I hoped he wasn’t feeling too stifled.
I was snapped out of my daze by the MC’s voice.
“And finally, let’s hear from our last performers of the night—idol group Secreti!”
So it was our turn at last.
The program had reached its final segment.
We’re supposed to sing together for the finale, right?
As I tidied my outfit and checked that the mic was properly attached, getting ready to go on stage…
The MC suddenly made a suggestion.
“It feels a bit abrupt to end things just like this. How about we play a little game?”
“A game?”
Ra Ho-yeon asked, and the MC winked.
“It’s Yu-jin’s first performance since his recovery. It’d be a shame to just wrap up with the group’s song. Let’s do something fun—a quick surprise stage. Just one person sings, randomly chosen. How about rock-paper-scissors to decide who it’ll be?”
Potato muttered under his breath.
[They say this program sometimes does surprise stages like this for guests. Guess it’s true.]
Yeah, guess so.
At least they didn’t make us perform a completely unfamiliar song.
During the pre-recording meeting, they’d subtly hinted at which songs might be chosen for this kind of surprise. So it wasn’t like we’d be flying totally blind.
That is… for the Secreti members other than me.
Since we were on such a tight schedule, I’d been barely managing to learn Secreti’s title tracks and B-sides.
The other members had agreed to handle the surprise stage stuff so I wouldn’t have to worry.
But if we’re deciding with rock-paper-scissors… I had a bad feeling.
“Only one person…?”
The members exchanged brief but intense glances.
All four Espers shot me a look.
Like they were all silently saying, “As long as it’s not him…”
I don’t wanna be picked either, you know?!
I’d only crammed Secreti’s songs at the last minute—if I got picked and they gave me something else, it’d be an embarrassment not just for me but for the whole group.
Secreti was finally getting some good public reception, and if I messed up now…
[That’d tank us right back to the bottom.]
Yeah, shut up.
If they asked me to sing a song I didn’t know, I’d be totally screwed.
My odds of being picked: one in five.
“…Let’s give it a try.”
With no real reason to refuse, Ra Ho-yeon accepted the MC’s proposal.
I couldn’t exactly tell them that “Yeon Yu-jin” had lost his memories and was still adjusting.
Please, anyone but me.
I had a 20-year gap in my memory. If they picked a song released while I was dead, I’d end up like a fish out of water, gaping on stage, humiliated beyond belief.
Despite all the practice, I found myself praying. But luck hated me.
“……”
The loser of the final round of rock-paper-scissors… was me.
Oblivious to the impending disaster, the MC beamed and said,
“Looks like Yu-jin will be our special ending fairy for today!”
“…Yes.”
“We’ll count on you!”
I was doomed. Utterly, spectacularly doomed.
I’d have to go up alone, without the other members to cover for me, and sing solo.
Even from backstage, I could already feel the weight of all those audience eyes like a physical pressure.
Did I have stage fright? I didn’t know. But I seriously wanted to run away.
Every single Secreti member, except the MC, had gone pale as a sheet.
The previous performance was wrapping up. I hurriedly took the tablet from the staff and stared at the lyrics displayed on-screen.
Please let it be something I know!
I prayed with all my heart.
And then—
…Oh?
The song they’d picked… was one I knew very well.
This might actually be okay.
The Secreti group performance flew by in a blur.
It was originally a dance track, but to hide my lack of choreography skills, we’d rearranged several of their songs into an acoustic medley.
I had no idea how I managed to sing it.
I was too busy focusing on everything at once—stage presence drilled into me by the members, keeping eye contact with the cameras, not messing up my lines…
And now there was something called facial expressions to worry about too. So I barely managed to keep a soft smile on my face as I sang. Thank god there was no choreography involved.
At least there was no disaster.
All that intense practice hadn’t been for nothing.
I held my own well enough to count as a proper member.
And no one in the audience looked visibly repulsed, so that was good enough for me.
Then the MC brought up the surprise finale stage.
“Tonight’s random singer is Secreti’s very own Yu-jin. The song he picked is ‘To You on an Autumn Night’. A perfect tune for a breezy autumn evening, full of longing. Let’s give him a big round of applause!”
The writers across the stage gave the go signal.
Swallowing hard, I slowly stepped forward and opened my mouth.
“Hello, I’m Yu-jin of Secreti. I’ll be singing ‘To You on an Autumn Night’.”
The wistful, melancholic intro filled the air.
Without hesitation, I began to sing the lyrics I knew by heart.
Do you remember that autumn night
When the full moon lit up the whole world
The day you and I held hands, just the two of us
I had something I wanted to tell you
Words I’d kept buried for so long
Words that meant: I love you
I could sing this song with my eyes closed.
Because this was Hyun Je-ha—Je-ha’s—favorite song.
I’d sung it for him countless times upon his request, and now it stirred a bittersweet nostalgia deep in my chest.
The words I couldn’t say back then
Can I tell them to you now?
Will they reach you?
To the faraway place where you might be
If I shout with all my heart
Will my feelings reach you too?
While I sang, I thought of only one person.
Where are you right now?
Would Je-ha be able to hear this song, wherever he was?
He was probably lying low, avoiding the government. No way he’d be watching some entertainment show.
But still… I wish you’d recognize me.
If miracles were real, I wanted that one.
***
The song ended.
“…Ah.”
Only then did I snap out of it.
…Did I do okay?
I’d been so lost in thoughts of Hyun Je-ha that I didn’t even know if I’d sung well or not.
Next to me, the MC gave the closing remarks. The red On Air light went off, and staff started walking over, saying thanks for the hard work.
I rolled my eyes around, checking my surroundings—only to see the other members frozen solid.
…Did I screw up?
I’d been half-confident, since it was a song I’d sung dozens of times in my past life. But maybe it wasn’t good enough?
Ahh the lyrics 😢
Aww, I hope Jeha heard the performance!!