He stared blankly into those eyes for only a moment before the distance between them vanished in an instant—Justyn had pulled him closer.
Then, he whispered.
“Do you remember the day we first met? I still can’t forget the look on your face, or how light your paw felt when you reached out to me.”
An abrupt change of subject. Suddenly reminiscing about the past? But Ries instinctively held his breath and listened.
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
The rapid thudding of a heart, faster than his own, seemed to overlap with his. As if their heartbeats were resonating in harmony, the rhythm of the two slowly began to synchronize.
“Maybe my answer was already decided back then.”
His eyes behind the mask followed the trail of memory.
He vividly remembered that tiny, fragile creature who had boldly thrown himself at him without fear. Soft little paws clung to him, begging not to be left behind, asking to be taken along.
Justyn hadn’t been able to shake him off. Was it because he looked like he’d break if touched too roughly? Because that limping little leg kept catching his eye?
No—it wasn’t that. Now, he finally understood the real reason behind his impulsive reaction.
“You were the one who held on to me when I was at my weakest. You stayed even after seeing how grotesque I looked. You gave me more affection than I could ever deserve… You were the first. The only one. So how could I ever reject you?”
Everything else had just been an excuse. A small, fragile life that still carried warmth had come to him—unafraid—offering to share that warmth.
How could he have pushed it away?
That had once been his dream. A piece of his childhood, buried deep in a dark, musty attic.
Back when he was still a thin, frail boy who dared to hope, every time he looked out the tiny attic window at the barely visible sky, he thought:
“I want a family too.”
I want to be loved. I want to be someone special to someone. I want to sleep in a warm bed, wrapped in another’s warmth…
He had promised himself back then.
If someone like that appeared in his life—like magic—he would cherish them. Make them smile every day. Hold them tight so they’d never shiver again.
But dreams are dreams. Beautiful only because they can’t be reached. Desired only because they can’t be grasped.
One night, as his body grew taller and his world expanded, the attic became too small to contain him. That night, he accepted his reality.
A child cursed even before he stepped into the world. A young monster born sucking the life from the mother who bore him.
His fate had always been sealed.
He would be hated for every breath he took. Despised. Feared without cause. And soon enough, he would be consumed by the curse and perish.
He never doubted it.
That is—until that tiny ball of fur appeared before his eyes.
“You are… my miracle, Ries.”
The miracle that made a long-buried, impossible dream come true.
“Because of you, I felt something called longing for the first time.”
The first longing of his life—the desire to live, to keep pace with someone, to not be consumed by the curse.
“Because of you… I realized I’m someone capable of wanting more.”
Wanting to know more, to spend more time together, to grow even closer…
And even more selfishly, to become your only one. Your most precious one. That absurd desire—he breathed life into it gently, tenderly.
Justyn curled in a bit more, and soft fur brushed against the edge of his mask. For a moment, a wild yearning flared—to feel that touch with nothing in the way, skin to skin—then died down just as quickly.
“You made me feel alive again.”
This small, gentle miracle had shown kindness to someone the world deemed its opposite.
So yes, he could finally give it a name.
He was his salvation. His haven.
“On the other hand, you also made me realize something I never wanted to admit. Ries, I’m a coward. I worry too much. I lose sleep to endless anxiety, and when I can’t see you, I panic.”
And knowing that made him cling even tighter.
He was afraid the hand that reached for him first might let go. That the warmth he held might suddenly fly away. That if he selfishly tried to keep it, he might crush it.
The monologue dragged on, long and raw. Justyn let out a bitter laugh and returned to the words he had spoken at the beginning. Back to where it all started.
“That’s why… I never tried to name what I feel for you.”
Ries held his breath. His body was stiff, but his eyes—round and wide—spun toward his master.
“Love, affection, yearning… none of those words felt enough. What I feel for you is too vast, too blind. It’s almost twisted.”
His voice wavered with self-mockery, as if confessing sins he had long buried. After several deep breaths, he gathered the last of his courage to ask:
“…If you’re okay with someone like me—if what you told me wasn’t a lie…”
A blink. Their eyes locked.
“Can I give this feeling the same name… as you?”
“……”
Ries couldn’t answer right away.
Just as Justyn had said—it was vast and blind. Ries had known he depended on him deeply, but this went far beyond what he had imagined. A subtle heat crept beneath his furred skin.
That careful voice asking for permission—like a heartfelt proposal. To some, that might have felt suffocating. But not to Ries.
Because of you, I’ve changed. Because of you, I’m alive…
How could he not be overwhelmed by such words?
He drew in a quiet breath and burrowed deeper into Justyn’s chest.
Thump, thump, thump, thump. He could hear Justyn’s heartbeat again—faster than before.
“…Nyaow.”
A short mewl, to say: Don’t worry. Then, he changed forms.
His body gradually grew. The previously mismatched rhythms of their hearts found harmony once again.
Having curled up so tightly to hold a little cat, Justyn’s posture had become awkward in his human embrace—of course it had.
Ries didn’t hesitate. He leaned in even closer, until there wasn’t a sliver of space between them. Their joined warmth burned hotter than usual.
“…I don’t lie.”
His voice was cracked, dry, maybe even pathetic—but his intent rang clear.
Yes, that earlier confession had been impulsive, but it wasn’t a lie. The thought made him flustered all over again, and he added gruffly:
“And why are you asking me for permission? Your heart belongs to you, Justyn.”
“…Haha. Yeah. You’re right. It’s mine.”
A limp laugh, a whisper drained of tension.
But only briefly—because the next moment, their bodies, already close, were suddenly pressed tight.
Justyn had tightened his hold. Ries could barely breathe under the weight of the embrace, and his face grew even hotter.
“Thank you… for coming to me first. For not giving up on me. For giving me a reason to live. For loving someone like me. For showing me… that I’m capable of love at all.”
The whisper brushed right against his ear. And then—Justyn nuzzled into his shoulder.
Ries let out a faint, breathless whimper.
He felt like his ears and cheeks would burst into flames. His stomach churned like a dizzy butterfly flitting madly inside him.
Once, he hadn’t even understood what this sensation was. But not anymore.
Now, he chose to embrace it. He leaned into the arms holding him, surrendering fully.
“…Yeah. And thank you… for finding me.”
That day—when he’d wandered the cold, colorless streets, chased by a vicious stray, when he first met a human who helped him…
That stray cat, who clung to the hem of someone’s pants despite the man’s harsh appearance, could never have imagined this would be the result.
Probably not. He had good instincts, sure, but he wasn’t a fortune-teller.
…Or maybe, deep down, I did suspect it.
Yes, maybe even then, some part of him had known that he and this human would become something special.
Just like a cat choosing a human to call their own—he, too, had chosen Justyn in his own way.
He couldn’t help but laugh. His legs fidgeted restlessly, and he felt as if he were floating.
Like his partner had done earlier, Ries rested his head on Justyn’s shoulder.
For the first time… he felt like he had truly dropped anchor in this world.
It feels good.
So good, in fact… that he could almost—almost—feel grateful to Chesif for being so damn annoying.
If not for his teasing, his provocations, Ries wouldn’t have snapped. He wouldn’t have run away. He might never have met Justyn.
A quiet smile tugged at his lips. Like a spoiled kitten, he rubbed his head against Justyn’s chest.
That security Justyn gave him now, the exhilaration of knowing their feelings had connected, the joy of being able to stay by his side not just as a “pet” but as himself… all of it melted him.
And if one felt that way—there was no reason to think the other didn’t feel the same.
So the two of them stayed locked in each other’s arms for a long while in the office.
Until Ketir, thinking their conversation was probably over by now, returned—only to stumble upon the scene.
“……”
He didn’t bother hiding the troubled look on his face.
Sure, it seemed like the misunderstanding had been cleared up… but why did he feel so stifled? So strangely irritated?
A dreadful hunch whispered that this wouldn’t be the last time he’d feel this way.
