His cock plunged in deep before sliding out until only the tip remained, pressing against the still-open entrance. As it stretched around him like it was seeking him back, he drove in again—all the way—hard enough that his balls slapped the junction.
“You’ve been seriously misunderstanding something for a while now.”
“Hngh—aaah!”
“I need all of this.”
His blurred vision, shaking with tears, couldn’t catch Ji-ho’s expression. Unable to grasp the meaning behind his words, Hye-seong could only gasp for air as more tears spilled.
“Just like you said—this is all something I need, too.”
“Hh—nn… w-what…?”
He wanted to hear him clearly, but pleasure fogged his ears like they were submerged underwater.
With his cock buried to the root, Ji-ho rolled his hips in a slow, grinding motion. The thick shaft dragged through him heavily, stirring deep inside until Hye-seong couldn’t think, couldn’t form a response.
His vision blurred to white. Even though he’d already orgasmed, his cock kept leaking, dripping clear fluid at every thrust.
“Hh—Ji-ho, wait, just—”
Ji-ho thrust with the force of pent-up frustration, but the moment he heard Hye-seong’s trembling voice, he let out a low groan and rubbed his lips over Hye-seong’s wet cheeks and eyelids. Their stomachs pressed together without space, his cock grinding deeper, and Ji-ho even licked up the tears spilling endlessly until they dampened his hair.
“I’m still confused. You know better than me, so hurry up and explain.”
“Hhik—ah!”
“To you this is just guiding. So why do I feel like a goddamn mutt in heat every time? Ah, fuck—”
It made no sense to Hye-seong. Ji-ho needed him for guiding.
So why did he look angry earlier? Why did his face harden like that?
Wrapped tightly in Ji-ho’s arms, his movements never stopped. Low moans mixed with ragged breaths, vibrating against Hye-seong’s ears.
“I told you. I get hard sucking your hole.”
“……”
“And you still haven’t figured out I get hard watching you cry, have you?”
If you want me to stop, then keep crying like that.
The veins stood out on Ji-ho’s forehead as he bit down on his lip. Hye-seong covered his eyes weakly with trembling hands.
Back when Ji-ho cornered him right after the confession, he hadn’t understood it at all. But now… he was starting to get it.
Ji-ho could only see the guiding. Only instinct. Only what he needed as an Esper. Nothing else.
To him, Hye-seong’s feelings were nothing more than a guarantee—security to keep their Pair relationship going longer. Nothing of value beyond that.
And now, finally, Hye-seong was beginning to understand him.
“If you like me, then you’ll want to stay with me. I won’t have to worry about you leaving.”
Looking back, Ji-ho’s thoughts had been consistent the entire time. Clear. Unchanging.
His chest felt weighted with iron, heavy and suffocating.
God, I’m such an idiot…
Ji-ho kissed his tear-soaked cheek.
Tears on his cheek and temple didn’t bother him at all—he rubbed his lips over them as if savoring them, all while thrusting sharply upward. His cock ravaged him inside while his lips remained absurdly gentle. When their lips touched, Hye-seong instinctively sucked on them.
His mouth opened to receive Ji-ho’s tongue, throat tightening, swallowing the saliva sliding in. Suddenly, Ji-ho groaned like an animal and began driving into him hard and fast.
“Whatever this is— you agreed to stay with me. Don’t look for more answers. Don’t think about going anywhere. Got it?”
“Hhhn—ah!”
“Just stay here. Like before. Like this. Haah… keep staying like this…”
Covering his ears did nothing. This wasn’t something he could “adapt” to.
Not when the person was Ji-ho.
No matter what, he couldn’t turn this into just guiding. He was getting hurt. He would keep getting hurt.
He couldn’t reduce this to some necessary act.
He wanted to separate work from feelings. Wanted to divide guiding from his pathetic unrequited love.
That’s why he said he’d try. But how could someone who loved Ji-ho this much treat sharing a bed like nothing?
It had never been possible.
Tears burst from him again.
Separating unrequited love from guiding was impossible. And so, all night, Hye-seong didn’t answer Ji-ho.
***
Before leaving the office, Hye-seong messaged Ji-ho. Just in case something urgent came up again like last time—it seemed safer to tell him in advance.
And just now, a bit late, Ji-ho replied.
[Ji-ho! I have a lunch appointment with one of my former team seniors today, so I’ll be out for a bit. But I’ll be right in front of the Center, so if you call, I’ll head straight to the Director’s Office like yesterday.^^]
[Got it.^^]
“Wow…”
Ji-ho replied.
“What are you staring at so hard?”
He’d been gawking at the screen in amazement for so long that Choi Yoon-sol, sitting across from him, shot him a curious look.
“Ah—sorry. It’s nothing.”
Snapping to attention, Hye-seong lowered his hand under the table. It wasn’t polite to stare at a pager in front of someone.
Today was the day he promised to buy Yoon-sol lunch. He figured he really shouldn’t delay it any longer, so he’d chosen today.
When he came back to himself, a few more pieces of steak had been dropped on top of his bowl. Startled, he looked up at Yoon-sol.
“You don’t have to give me yours…! Senior, please eat a lot.”
“I’m fine. You need to eat more. Why do you look thinner every time I see you?”
“…Me?”
He was baffled. Auntie said the same this morning—why was everyone suddenly saying this?
Ever since moving into Ji-ho’s place, he had been eating balanced meals three times a day without fail. Plus snacks whenever Ji-ho handed them to him—for months now. He couldn’t imagine why he’d look thinner.
“I mean, of course you’d be adored anywhere, but looking at your face now, I can’t help worrying. Ji-ho is feeding you properly, right?”
“Yes, he really takes good care of me…”
“Then good.”
With a shrug, Yoon-sol resumed eating.
The restaurant they came to was a hidden gem near the Center—exactly the kind of place a senior Guide would know about. It truly was delicious, especially the beef rice bowl he’d strongly recommended.
But somehow, Hye-seong had no appetite. He’d been like this lately. He felt guilty every time he left food uneaten, especially when auntie cooked.
Ever since the day he kept running to the bathroom to throw up, he’d stopped forcing himself to eat.
“Ah—”
Lost in thought, he didn’t notice another piece of steak landing in his bowl. When he looked up again, startled, Yoon-sol was staring at him with mild disapproval.
