Back then, things had fizzled out before he even reached the front door, so this was the first time Baek Hye-seong had gone out alone since becoming Yoo Ji-ho’s Pair Guide. Up until now, he’d always gone out with people from the Center—including Yoo Ji-ho.
A subtle tension lingered in his chest at the thought that a call could come at any moment, but still, Hye-seong headed for today’s main destination: the department store. Once inside the sprawling, maze-like building, he found himself wandering quite a bit. These kinds of places were completely unfamiliar territory for him.
After several rides up the escalators, he finally arrived on the floor with the men’s clothing section.
In his entire life, the only neckties he’d ever worn were for his school uniform, funeral attire, and the Guide uniform. Naturally, he’d never had a reason to pick out a tie on his own. So it wasn’t surprising that he found it hard to figure out what kind of design looked good. Of course, Yoo Ji-ho would look amazing no matter what he wore.
I need to pick a really nice one…
Even though Ji-ho didn’t wear ties often, Hye-seong really wanted to give him one that would suit him perfectly. There were so many things he wanted to give him, and it was frustrating to realize that if not now, he might never get the chance.
Passing right by the sale displays, Hye-seong wandered from one spot to another, scanning the store.
“Oh!”
He spotted a logo that matched the one on the labels of the shirts Ji-ho often wore.
In all the time he’d spent living with Ji-ho, Hye-seong had learned a lot of new things. One of those things was the clothing brands Ji-ho preferred.
Yoo Ji-ho was the type of person with very clear preferences—when he liked something, he stuck with it to the end, and when he disliked something, he avoided it completely. It was the same with coffee; he only drank one particular blend. And the strawberry juice that Hye-seong had come to enjoy? Ji-ho had refused to even take a sip, no matter how many times it was offered.
Clothing was no different. Every time he folded the laundry, Hye-seong would find the same logo on almost all of Ji-ho’s favorite casual wear. So even someone like Hye-seong, who’d never paid attention to this sort of thing, came to know for certain which brand Ji-ho liked.
That’s the kind of person Ji-ho was—once he considered someone “his,” he kept them close, no matter what. That must’ve been why he gave someone like Hye-seong a chance in the first place.
“……”
From the moment he stepped into this store, Hye-seong hadn’t been able to take his eyes off one particular spot. He kept glancing around, but his gaze always returned to the same place. After a moment’s hesitation, he turned toward a nearby employee with determined eyes.
His slender, pale fingers pointed to a deep navy necktie with a clean, minimalist accent design.
“Um… I’d like to buy this one.”
Contrary to his worry that it would take forever, picking out the tie turned out to be surprisingly easy. It was as if his eyes had been drawn to it immediately, like it had been waiting for him. Even when he tried looking at other options, none of them gave him the same feeling.
With the tie neatly packed in a gift box and placed into a shopping bag, Hye-seong headed downstairs to a store that sold chocolate from a famous Belgian brand. He’d looked it up beforehand, remembering it was the same place that sold the chocolates his former roommate, Kim Young-woo, had once gifted him.
They had tasted so good that he’d thought to himself he had to give some to Ji-ho one day. Now, he was finally getting to do just that. Hye-seong even bought a box larger than the one he had received.
And lastly, he bought a bouquet of flowers. He just hoped Ji-ho would be able to accept their farewell with a light heart.
***
Back at Ji-ho’s house, now empty in his absence, Hye-seong set the shopping bags down in the living room and briefly sank into the couch. There were still things to take care of before Ji-ho returned.
The ideal scenario would be to say what needed to be said and leave right away. But realistically, he might have to stay on as his Guide until a new Pair was found.
“……”
Just thinking about it made his heart feel heavy. It would be hard, but even if that ended up being the case, it was probably best for him to move out of Ji-ho’s house as soon as possible. If he stayed any longer, the feelings he’d been trying to suppress might resurface. He might even regret saying he wanted to quit.
Hye-seong went into his room, undressed, and neatly folded the clothes he’d been wearing onto the bed. Then he changed into his own clothes. Opening the wardrobe, he took out all the clothes he’d brought from home and began packing them into his bag.
That was when he realized just how much he had received from Yoo Ji-ho. It was too much.
There was barely any “packing” to do. He could fit all his belongings into the same backpack they’d brought from home together. The bag was only half full. In the end, he had spent all that time in this house—eating, sleeping, living—without even fully realizing that he had brought nothing but himself.
If only he’d never fallen for him, things would’ve been easier.
Then he could’ve simply been grateful for Ji-ho’s kindness and stayed by his side as his Guide for a long time.
These days, just being near Ji-ho would make Hye-seong’s chest tighten, his eyes sting. At first, he hadn’t understood what that emotion was. But now, he knew.
It was resentment.
He resented Yoo Ji-ho.
Even after receiving so much from him. Even after claiming he didn’t want anything in return.
Maybe unrequited love was just an inherently pathetic emotion.
“……”
The packing, which he’d begun with such a heavy heart, ended in vain—with nothing but reddened eyes to show for it.
He even cleaned the place, driven by some vague sense of duty. Then he placed all his belongings neatly on the coffee table in front of the sofa, along with the gifts he’d prepared as a parting gesture. On top of them, he placed a white envelope.
Just as Ji-ho had said he’d be late, he still hadn’t returned even as evening rolled around. It would’ve been nice to share one last meal together. The fact that they couldn’t made Hye-seong feel even more regret.
A melancholy settled in his chest as he fidgeted with the hem of his faded white T-shirt.
Come to think of it, the shirt he’d pulled out of his bag without thinking—it was the same one he’d worn the first time Ji-ho brought him here.
I really am going back to where I came from.
“…Huh?”
Just then, he heard movement near the entrance. Startled, Hye-seong quickly stood up. He grabbed the bouquet from the table and moved toward the sound.
Before he even reached the door, he found himself face-to-face with Yoo Ji-ho in the living room.
“Yoo Ji-ho…”
He’d thought he’d steeled himself, but his voice still trembled.
Having just returned from a day packed with nonstop appointments, Yoo Ji-ho spotted Hye-seong approaching him and smiled.
“What’s that?”
He nodded toward the bouquet in Hye-seong’s arms. His voice was as gentle as his expression.
“This… it’s a gift. For you.”
“Is that so?”
As Hye-seong awkwardly handed over the bouquet, Ji-ho looked down at him, seemingly a little surprised. When he brought the flowers to his nose, his face softened, as if he genuinely liked the scent.
“……”
But the smile that had bloomed from the moment he held the flowers vanished instantly—like a lie—the second he noticed the dark shadow on Hye-seong’s face.
Ji-ho’s gaze, suddenly cold, slowly slid down from Hye-seong’s pale face.
His eyes landed on the neckline of the T-shirt, now worn and frayed.
