Ruder asked as though he were willing to grant it if Nigel wished for it. Caught off guard by the sudden offer, Nigel parted his lips but couldn’t answer right away.
Become the Duke? Not really.
He had felt a twinge of disappointment when his older brother returned and flawlessly reclaimed the position. But did he ever truly desire to be Duke? No. He had merely latched onto the idea because he’d come to regard the position as rightfully his. That obsession had taken root without him even realizing it. Besides, to become Duke now, he’d have to take the title away from his brother—who’d been raised his whole life as the heir—and he didn’t want that either.
Yet if someone asked what he did want to be, if not the Duke of Magnus, Nigel wouldn’t have been able to answer that either. He’d spent so long pursuing that role, it had been ages since he’d envisioned a different kind of life.
The only thing Nigel had truly wanted for a long time was Inas. But that was a thought he could never confess to his father. So in the end, he gave a polished, safe answer.
“No, I’m fine.”
[Are you really?]
“I just decided I had to do it, that’s all. It’s not the position I wanted. I still don’t even know what it is I do want.”
Besides, right now he had to stay faithful to his role as a divine messenger to earn Achievements.
[If that’s all it is, don’t worry. I won’t force anything on you. Take your time.]
“Yes, Dad.”
[If something comes to mind, just say it. Anytime.]
Nigel nodded. Ruder studied his son’s face carefully, as though worried he hadn’t spoken his true thoughts, then let out a sigh.
[It’s strange. You’ve only ever been loved and cared for, but when I look at you like this, I get this feeling that I’ve spent years pushing burdens onto you.]
“It’s probably just in your head.”
Nigel quickly shook his head. Glarus’s words from earlier floated to the forefront of his mind.
[The fact that everyone loses their memories with each Loop is a kind of safeguard. If everyone remembered the previous Timelines, they’d all lose their minds.]
[If that safeguard no longer works, it means it’s either broken… or reached its limit.]
If Glarus was right… maybe Ruder was remembering the countless times they’d clashed over the years in previous Timelines.
Of course, Nigel had rebelled against Ruder’s ways at every turn when he was younger. But now, he understood there were things Ruder had no choice but to insist on—as Duke of Magnus.
Likewise, Ruder had probably also struggled with dragging his son along according to his will, sympathizing with Nigel in his own way, even as he did so.
Things were different now. He wasn’t a foolish child anymore. Nigel could understand him now—and steer clear of the same kinds of conflicts. He smiled as brightly as he could, hoping to ease his father’s worries.
“Even if you did force things on me… you did it for my sake, didn’t you? I’m just happy that you were thinking of me.”
[Thank you… for saying that.]
Ruder’s rigid lips softened. Nigel couldn’t help but smile too.
Every time he looked at Ruder, he felt grateful that he’d gone back in time. If he hadn’t gotten this second chance, he would’ve spent his life misunderstanding his father, all alone.
[Sleep well, Nigel. And from now on, don’t go out alone.]
“Okay. Good night, Dad.”
[And as for what happened today, Sir Estora will be giving you a word of caution.]
Just when the warm moment seemed to be winding down, Ruder snapped back to a stern tone. Nigel’s smile froze in place, and Ruder chuckled softly from the other side of the screen.
“…I thought I wasn’t getting scolded?”
[You think Sir Estora would scold you? He’s just going to give you some advice.]
That’s still getting scolded, though…
Ruder really was strict about these things. Nigel gave him a pleading look, but his father didn’t go back on his word and ended the call.
After disconnecting, Nigel headed straight back to his room. Waiting outside were Roshan and Inas. If they hadn’t been there, he might’ve just slipped off to bed and dodged the lecture.
“Come in.”
He couldn’t exactly not let them in. So Nigel invited them inside. As they entered, Danil stood at attention. He’d brought Nigel’s medicine and, seeing the three guests, gave a polite bow before leaving.
“Please, go ahead.”
Roshan gestured for Inas to take his turn first. But that really wasn’t necessary. The smell of the medicine was enough to make one wince. Sitting down on the sofa, Nigel took a whiff and promptly squeezed his eyes shut before downing the whole thing in one go.
“Ugh.”
This wasn’t what Ruder meant by “a word of caution”… right? The taste was so vile it could’ve passed as a punishment. Wincing, Nigel put the cup down, and Inas silently stepped forward, offering his hand.
A pink candy.
“….”
Wasn’t he mad earlier? Or maybe he was just doing this out of habit? Whatever the reason, it was awkward enough that Nigel averted his gaze. Back when Inas had been Nigel’s bodyguard, he’d always offer candy after giving him bitter medicine—just a habit of his.
But they hadn’t even known each other that long in this Timeline. Sure, Nigel had sobbed his heart out in Inas’s arms in front of Roshan, but still…
Noticing his hesitation, Roshan cleared his throat.
“Please, don’t hold back.”
“…Thanks.”
This was just embarrassing. He could’ve taken the candy by hand, but Inas still gently pushed it past his lips. As Nigel sucked on the candy, he rubbed his ears, now flushed and burning. God, this was humiliating.
“You were out in the cold, so the medicine was specially prepared to prevent any chance of a cold. Just in case, they said you should take it and get plenty of early rest tonight.”
“Got it… thanks.”
Roshan’s calm demeanor was a godsend. With the candy still in his mouth, Nigel mumbled out his reply.
Meanwhile, Roshan shot a subtle glance at Inas, who was still standing silently nearby. Catching his meaning, Inas moved behind him, and Roshan took the seat across from Nigel. By that time, he had already crunched through the candy.
“Roshan. Uh, like I said before, something like today’s not going to happen again.”
“Yes. Still, the fact that you went out on your own was also my failure. His Grace the Duke was forgiving, but the fact remains—I failed in my duties. I’ll be accepting responsibility.”
Nigel quickly shook his head. What had happened was practically a force of nature. There was no reason for Roshan to take the blame. After all, the only person who could’ve stopped him was Inas, since he knew about the secret passage.
So Nigel decided to be honest to stop the wrong person from being held accountable.
“I didn’t slip out because of a gap in security. I left through a secret passage.”
“…A secret passage?”
“Yeah. I can’t say where, though.”
Roshan pressed his fingers to his temple like he was getting a headache. Nigel suddenly felt like a bratty kid who kept causing trouble.
“That’s fine. But how did you find out about it? Did someone tell you?”
The location of the secret passage… well, of course he’d heard about it. The problem was that he’d heard about it not in this Loop, but in a previous one—back when he became the heir.
He didn’t have a good excuse. If he told the truth, people would think he was insane. Still, it didn’t seem like knowing about the passage would cause too much of a problem, so he offered the most reasonable excuse he could come up with.
“I stumbled on it by chance. I’m really sorry.”
It was a passage nearly impossible to find by accident, but at least he wasn’t a spy. Roshan looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway.
“Have you informed His Grace?”
“No. I didn’t get a chance.”
“…Either way, I’ll be reporting this to him.”
“Mm. But since he looked pretty tired, maybe tell him tomorrow? It’s not a big deal since it was discovered internally, right?”
“Understood. But since we don’t know where the passage is, I’ll have extra guards posted tonight around the hallway and the garden.”
In other words, not to prevent intruders—but to keep him from running off again. Nigel smiled awkwardly.
“I really won’t go anywhere this time.”
“Yes.”
Roshan replied quickly, but he didn’t sound convinced. Instead of lecturing him further, he turned to Inas.
“This can’t be allowed to happen again. So, starting tomorrow, Idenbach—one hour of stable duty each morning for the next week.”
“Understood.”
Inas bowed his head and answered calmly. Wait—why the hell was Inas getting punished now?
