1-9: Tower of Luminescence (1)
Translator: fascinating thoughts from the author ahead!
Author: I’ve seen some readers mention they haven’t read the old version— I always assumed anyone brave enough to dive into this series had already read The Right Wing of God! So I want to ask: for those of you new to it, do you have any feedback on the revised version? Does the structure or plot feel confusing anywhere?
While revising, I’ve tried to stay as objective as possible, but it’s hard not to slip back into my 2006 mindset now and then, so feedback from new readers is especially valuable.
Also, if you haven’t read the old version, I strongly recommend not doing so. The original draft of The Right Wing of God was pretty rough—no clear framework for the timeline or worldbuilding. Before releasing this chapter, I was sorting through Heaven’s historical chronology and nearly drove myself insane. My head’s still full of random crystal spheres I don’t even remember writing @_@…
This chapter took me over five hours to revise—just to confirm the birth years of Reynor, Michael, and the others. Five hours that could’ve been used to write another 6,000-word chapter! ||||
(1) Since Caro and Isar had already reconciled earlier, the apology scene here was deleted.
(2) It’s hard to portray drunkenness convincingly in first person, so I rewrote the scene as a hazy, dreamlike conversation, something Isar believes he only imagined. (Translator: when Isar topped Lucifer.)
(3) The “cracked bed” foreshadowing was too ridiculous. Shima’s beds wouldn’t have such poor quality, so that part’s gone. (Translator: Yes, Isar not only topped Lucifer, the bed also cracked under them in the old version)
(4) There was a section where Isar is looked down on by the Divine Law students. I felt the tone there was too subjective. The Divine Law Academy and the Academy of the Seventh are meant to symbolize the contrast between the divine and demonic races. As I’ve said before, in this version I’m not elevating the Demon Realm at the expense of Heaven. One stands for freedom and openness; the other for sanctity and order. Since Michael is meant to become the leader of the divine race, he needs to show strong leadership from the start—otherwise, it’s hard to believe his later authority. Some readers of the original Volume II once questioned, “Michael’s life in Heaven was so difficult, why would he fight so hard for it?” And honestly, they were right. So, I removed the parts where he’s scorned by many Divine Law students. From here on, he’ll grow into the role of a true leader of Heaven, making his eventual clash with Lucifer more convincing.
(5) Changed the architecture of the Academy of the Seventh from “Crystal Palace style” to Baroque, with a brief introduction. As mentioned above, the Academy represents the cultural origin of the Demon Realm. Since Pandemonium’s architecture is richly Baroque, this becomes its stylistic foundation.
(6) Made a small change in the scene where they ask for directions. Originally, Isar was the one asking, but given his straightforward, “manly” personality, I let Caro suggest asking instead. (Gender contrast: men usually prefer reading maps themselves while ladies tend to ask others.) The people of the Seventh are also portrayed as more uninhibited, leaning slightly toward demonic temperament.
(7) Reynor’s original death year was listed as 6694, but his birth year was “?” (yes, that was embarrassingly careless of me., wipes sweat). After setting up the full chronology, Michael’s age no longer added up, so I recalculated and reordered Reynor’s birth and death years.
(8) Added the birth years of the Archangels and corrected the war eras and their years (their Berduth?).
…… So many old bugs—especially the crystal sphere section! I nearly died fixing this one…
Below: Angel Lucifer by an unknown artist. (Translator: I couldn’t find it again so have another beautiful artwork instead. This was an illustration when volume 3 was briefly published in a physical magazine for a period)
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1-9: Tower of Luminescence (2)
(9) I honestly can’t believe some are still complaining about me removing the classical Chinese style… My dears, I’m writing a Western myth! How can I not cut the Chinese poetic lines? For example, this chapter originally had a passage like:
“Veiled in floating mist and dewdrop light, like drifting duckweed, like the fleeting sun’s flame—ephemeral and unreal.”
Beautiful, yes, but tell me—what are “floating duckweed” and “sun-flower flames” doing in a Heaven ruled by a Western Creator God? Exactly. So I cut it, and that’s final. Please stop debating this; I’m not budging on the stylistic direction.
(10) (Translator: when Isar and Caro were speaking to Lucifer inside the Tower) Lucifer originally looked up and asked Isar’s group what was wrong, but given how used he is to being watched, that line didn’t make sense; deleted.
(11) Adjusted the dialogue between Caro, Lucifer, and Isar. Lucifer intentionally sends Caro away here, so the question “Aren’t you coming?” should be asked by Caro, not by Lucifer.
(12) Reinserted some previously cut Heaven-related worldbuilding into Lucifer’s lecture.
(13) Revised the dialogue between Rucifel and Isar, adding some lines referencing their shared past.
(14) Metatron’s official height is 182 cm, so Isar wouldn’t be that much shorter. The “height difference” paragraph was removed.
……
It’s a bit out of place here, but since there are already so many Mammon fan illustrations—and I don’t want you all to get tired of them once Original Sin begins—here’s another one anyway! Artwork by Miyari. XD (Translator: Showing an official illustration of Mammon in his famed “Garnet Afternoon Tea” photo instead!)
(Translator: It could also be this famous piece of fan art that the author was referring to)
Author: Today’s blessing: Speak up in the comments! There’ll be two updates this week!
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1-10: Broken Wings
(1) Since the previous chapter didn’t include any scenes of Metatron being with Michael, the opening dialogue in this one was removed.
(2) Caro’s initial reaction upon finding Rucifel’s feather in Isar’s room didn’t quite make sense—he should’ve already noticed it back during the feather-selling incident. I fixed the inconsistencies in that dialogue.
(3) In this version, Rucifel never intended to hide his identity; it’s just that Michael failed to realize it. So I removed the line where Rucifel says, “I know you’re curious about who I am.”
(4) Deleted the profanity from Isar’s internal monologue during his mistreatment scene—image, the image of the Archangel is important…
(5) Added a new subplot where Caro secretly steals Isar’s exam certificate.
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1-11: Angel of Fire (1)
Author: (1) Added a scene where Lucifer princess carries Isar.
(2) Introduced the concept of the Sacred Word.
(3) Added foreshadowing in Chapter 3 for the later scene where Michael kneels before Lucifer to beg for the role of Favored Angel. The new passage reads:
“Yeah. His obsession with Lord Lucifer was something else. The tales of his madness could fill days of conversation, thousands of pages if you wrote it all down. But the most unforgettable part -” Caro rubbed his chin. “He actually knelt down and begged Lord Lucifer to make him his favored angel. And Lord Lucifer kicked him away.”
Caro sighed, as if still baffled. “Do you have any idea how low the chances are for something like that to happen? A favored angel is basically a personal pet to a superior. For a Seraph, a being of the highest order, to beg to be treated like a pet? No wonder he was roasted by every other Seraph in existence. And worse, Lord Lucifer, the most refined and graceful man in all of Heaven, who wouldn’t so much as raise a hand toward a lowly demon, kicked him. Can you believe that? That’s how tragic Michael is.”
(4) Since Lucifer is capable of using magic, it didn’t make sense for him to just leave Isar lying there (TN: after Caro had broken Isar’s wings). I changed the scene so he personally takes Isar back.
(5) Refined and added more depth to Caro’s characterization.
……
Fire Angel Michael — artist unknown. (Translator: I think it was this one?)
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1-11: Angel of Fire (2)
(6) Added additional worldbuilding details about the divine race and the demon race.
(7) Added a new dialogue scene between the minotaur and Isar.
(8) Reorganized this chapter to better align with the established hierarchy and ranks of angels from earlier chapters.
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1-12: A Trip to Demon Realm (1)
(1) Unified the depiction of the Demon Realm with the version in Original Sin.
(2) Clarified that the outer regions of the Demon Realm are still bright, while the mid- and lower layers are dark yet opulent. So in this chapter, they now enter directly into the middle layer, geographically near Schmir City from Original Sin.
(3) When Isar asks Lucifer whether he’s ever been with a demon woman, Lucifer now avoids giving a direct answer.
(4) Moved Lilith’s introduction to the latter half of the chapter for smoother pacing.
(5) Added a scene where Lucifer asks for a birthday gift.
(6) Changed the kiss scene—now Isar is the one who kisses Lucifer.
At last, I managed to update this chapter on Lucifer’s birthday itself! And to everyone taking the college entrance exams tomorrow—good luck, give it your best! Posting timestamp for the record: June 6, 2011.
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1-12: A Trip to Demon Realm (2)
I was planning to wait until finishing The Last Goddess before updating, but the pressure got to me—so here I am crawling online to post this…
Chapter 12 Revision Log:
(7) Since both Lucifer and Isar are inside the cave, it wouldn’t make sense for them to see Kongo and Yanglu flying out—so I changed it so the two walk into the cave instead.
(8) Originally, Yanglu’s name was given by Isar, but since Isar can’t influence the past (or it would create a major logical inconsistency), it now makes more sense for Lucifer to be the one who names him.
(9) Based on later events in the original version, Lucifer already knows Isar has feelings for him—so I changed Rucifel’s line from “falling in love with him” to “You like him, don’t you? You’ve fallen for him again, haven’t you?”
(10) Since the Rucifel Cathedral was already described earlier, there’s no need to repeat that imagery in this chapter.
(11) Added a bit more detail and nuance to the dialogue between Lucifer and Isar.
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1-13: The White Roses of Shima (1)
Author: …There’s something I need to address about the last two chapters.
I’ve seen some readers saying that Isar’s behavior lately feels “too feminine” or “too weak.” So let’s clarify a few things first:
- Are you sure you’re not being influenced by my author’s notes and reacting after reading them?
- Are you sure it’s not because the recent chapters had some mild abuse scenes and you needed someone to vent your frustration on—so you blamed the protagonist?
- Are you sure you’re not just repeating what a few others said without reading carefully, or even without reading at all?
If not—if you’re absolutely certain the issue lies with my revisions—then I have to point out: these two chapters are almost entirely from the original version. The only changes I made were small ones: in the previous chapter, Lucifer kisses Isar; in this one, I added a single extra line—
“Is that so? Then this isn’t a misunderstanding on my part at all. A plaything… is it really necessary to kiss like that?”
and I shortened “It’s nothing” slightly. (Translator: “没事儿” was changed into“没事”, the equivalent of replacing “y’all” with “you all”.)
Aside from that, all the dialogue between Isar and Lucifer remains exactly the same.
So if these scenes are “too soft” or “not manly enough,” yet they’re basically unchanged from the original—then where exactly is this idea that “the original Isar was more masculine” coming from?
You all tend to idealize the original version far too much—your imagination has gone so far that even I don’t know how to respond anymore. Still, I won’t be making major changes to the dynamic between Michael and Lucifer. Most edits will continue focusing on fixing plot inconsistencies, worldbuilding gaps, and overly wordy narration. I’ll have plenty of chances to write more mature works in the future, so let’s allow the precious youthfulness of Michael and Lucifer to stay just as it was.
Chapter 13 (1) Revision Log:
(1) Adjusted Michael’s inner thoughts after the added kiss scene.
(2) In the kiss between Michael and Lucifer, made Michael more proactive—more passionate…. You know what I mean.
(3) Removed Isar’s explicit erotic language—it was too blunt, and lost its tenderness that way.
(4) Cut the scene of Isar feeling sad for Reynor right after the kiss; the emotional shift was too abrupt. Isar had just been kissed by Lucifer, there’s no reason for him to go from joyful to sad that quickly.
(5) Continued replacing all crystalline architecture with Baroque style for consistency.
(6) When the other angels say Lucifer is busy, Michael’s reply “What could he be doing?” sounded off, so I changed it to him preparing to leave instead.
(7) In the Hall of Splendor, changed Lucifer embracing Michael to simply taking his hand—an embrace made him seem a bit too submissive.
(8) Added more of Michael’s inner monologue.
—— Many thoughts below the line ——
Michael and Yellow Bird (Translator: nickname of MC from the author’s other novel, “Diva”) have some personality similarities, but they’re complete opposites when it comes to love. Yellow Bird is a cruel sub, who enjoys tormenting his partner—a playful man who hates being tied down. Michael, on the other hand, is a devoted sub, someone who gets tormented, with a strong, almost “wifely” attachment.
The difference, at its root, is intelligence. Yellow Bird was designed to be clever and quick-witted; Michael, as everyone knows, is a beautiful dummy—simple-minded and strong-limbed. In love, smart people tend to recognize danger early; they control their emotions, try to make the other party pay more, and end up outsmarting themselves. Michael, meanwhile, is the type of slow, naïve child who doesn’t build any defenses—once he falls, he gives everything. To his partner, that can seem ridiculous at first, but over time that unconditional devotion becomes an invisible shackle, one that even the proud and freedom-loving (?) Lucifer can’t break ever again.
As for Yellow Bird and Lian (Qianchen and Bochuan) (Translator: “Lian”, whose real name is Bochuan, is the nickname of Yellow Bird’s beloved) their roles are reversed: Lian is the shackle, and Yellow Bird is the one bound by it, craving freedom yet unable to escape.
Many have asked why Qianchen is smarter than Bochuan, why Yellow Bird outsmarts Lian —that’s why.
But over in Diva, poor Qianchen’s been roasted alive by the readers—
“Why even keep a man like that, Bochuan? Dump him! If he humiliates you again, I swear I’ll lose it!”
“Torment him! What garbage!”
“I’ve never seen a man this selfish and irresponsible—does he even care about Bochuan at all?!”
“You’re married and still running off to America? America, my foot!”
“If Bochuan still takes this jerk back, I’m giving up on love entirely!!”
“He made the same mistakes in his past life—does he have to wait until Bochuan dies again to realize what he’s done?!”
And on and on they go…
Yellow Bird and Qianchen’s archetype is exactly that kind—the one who only realizes the value of what he’s lost after it’s truly gone. Even when they know better, they can’t help but repeat the same mistake.
So, tell me—between the two relationship types, which do you prefer: the dominant bound by love, or the submissive that binds through love?
(To be continued)
Author: A fan of TLZY & JZYZ
Translating
