# Chapter 59
Seonwoo spent quite some time pondering a name with his adoptive parents. They checked various meanings, saying it was important since he would be living with this name from now on. The conflict between his adoptive father, who preferred a Korean name, and his adoptive mother, who argued that a Chinese character name could have multiple meanings, was quite amusing.
In the end, Seonwoo followed his adoptive mother’s wishes. The simple reason was that since he was taking his adoptive father’s surname, he would follow his adoptive mother’s opinion for the given name.
“I’ve picked out several options. Would you like to choose one?”
As if prepared in advance, a paper with several names written on it was presented to Seonwoo.
“I wanted to give you a name myself. Your sister said she wanted a name with Mom’s surname.”
His adoptive mother gave a somewhat sad smile. Seonwoo had gained a sister whom he had only seen in photos. The young sister who had been scheduled for adoption before Seonwoo passed away before the process was even completed. The adoptive parents, who had said they would become a family and overcome everything together despite knowing she was sick, ultimately had to send their daughter to heaven before they could hold her as family.
Seonwoo thought these people truly needed a child with whom they could share love. A couple who needed a child to give and receive love had reached out to become family to him, who seemed to need a family the most.
Knowing this, Seonwoo decided to take the name his adoptive mother wanted most as his own.
“Congratulations, our son.”
“Dohyun.”
Seonwoo became Dohyun. Wearing a middle school uniform with the name tag Baek Dohyun. For the first time, Dohyun dreamed of happiness. He thought he could live an ordinary life, leaving home and returning to a home where family existed.
‘Hey, your parents aren’t your real parents, right?’
He could even brush off the thoughtless voices of classmates. Even though they weren’t his birth parents, because he had adoptive parents who cherished him just as much, Dohyun could calmly ignore it.
It was early summer. His adoptive parents, who were taking pictures of him in his summer uniform that had been tailored in advance, handed Dohyun a pre-made card with faces full of regret.
“Dohyun, this is your check card. Mom and Dad are sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Alright. We’ll come back as soon as possible. Understand?”
“Have a safe trip.”
Dohyun told his adoptive parents that he didn’t need to accompany them on their business trip. He said he should be at school and could stay at home, but they asked if it wouldn’t be better for him to come along.
Though it was only a short schedule, his adoptive parents were truly concerned. Even though he was eating well, growing taller, and gaining weight, the two of them worried about Dohyun. Wanting to show them that he could manage on his own, he refused even more firmly.
That day was quite strange. At dawn when his adoptive parents were supposed to leave early, he strangely couldn’t wake up. Feeling oddly refreshed as he got up, Dohyun sent a long text message full of apologies to his adoptive parents’ letter left on the table, and received a reply saying it was okay and that they loved him today too.
There was a seat on the bus that never had seats available, so he could sit on his way to school. It rained on the way. Though he liked rain but worried without an umbrella, the rain stopped just as he was getting off the bus.
The amount of sausage side dish wasn’t overwhelming, with the right number placed on the tray, and the chopsticks he grabbed at random were perfectly matched. The eraser he took from his pencil case fit comfortably in his hand, the back of his carelessly worn sneakers didn’t fold in, and on the way home, the bus arrived as soon as he reached the stop.
Somehow, Dohyun’s hands trembled. Throughout the bus ride home, he felt like he was floating in a dream. It felt like bubbles would burst if he just lightly touched them. The elation that was floating around him came crashing down when Dohyun’s phone rang. Dohyun, who had been in a daze, was instantly pulled back to reality.
“Hello?”
-Is this student Baek Dohyun?
Thus, Dohyun lost the two adults he had first met at twelve when he was fourteen. He thought the world had turned upside down. He couldn’t even remember how he got to the funeral home. Adults kept saying various things and asking him to choose something, but he couldn’t understand what was what. They said they needed to decorate the final journey well, but Dohyun feared even that.
Dohyun felt like everything he touched would harm him. He felt like he would lose his life even if the sun’s light touched his hand. He felt like the stars pouring from the night sky would kill him. If tree branches swayed in the wind and leaves fell, he felt like he would be buried underneath, and if he stepped in a puddle of rain, he felt like he would sink and disappear into it.
‘You… you’re the problem! You devoured them!’
‘I should have adamantly opposed when they said they were adopting a kid like you!’
‘Bring back our daughter-in-law baby! Bring back our son!’
‘If you have any sense, you’ll return the inheritance.’
‘Not even a real son.’
‘Look, he’s not even crying. He’s so cold-hearted because he’s not their real child!’
No tears came out. While an ordinary day passed without a sense of reality, the harsh reality grabbed Dohyun and weighed him down. Even as he walked absentmindedly holding photos, people with white, wide eyes pointed fingers at Dohyun. He wanted to cry but couldn’t.
“I…”
I’m sorry. Because Dohyun felt like a sinner to his two parents, he couldn’t cry freely. Because he was so sorry, because even tears were something to be sorry for, Dohyun shouldered the grief of losing his family directly on his two shoulders.
“Mom… Dad…”
Only the titles he had never directly called them before lingered on his lips.
❖ ❖ ❖
Dohyun fiddled with his watch. The watch that stopped at 3:10, when he received the news of his parents’ death, hadn’t ticked once since then. He decided to stop his time at that moment too. He didn’t use the inheritance that remained intact. No, it wasn’t that he didn’t use it at all, but he felt like he couldn’t survive if he used up all that money in urgency.
He worked various part-time jobs. It was a means to survive, but it was also a struggle to preserve his parents’ traces left in his bank account. Because he couldn’t let go, he kept the watch too. The watch, with only its broken glass fixed, found its place on Dohyun’s wrist.
“My parents were, well, a bit short.”
After finishing his explanation, Dohyun opened his mouth as if tracing back memories. The people who hurt him were all big. Because he was surrounded by people who flaunted their strength with their large bodies, he felt more emotionally stable with smaller people than larger ones.
“I’m sorry. That’s why… that’s why I said I was scared.”
Haegang realized that Dohyun was talking about their first meeting. Recalling Dohyun murmuring that he was scared to someone he didn’t even know, and how he flinched while looking at Haegang, it was rather Haegang who was dumbfounded.
“From the beginning, you should have…!”
Haegang was about to speak accusingly but closed his mouth. It would be difficult to have a proper conversation now with Dohyun, who was already half-asleep, full of alcohol. Dohyun, slowly blinking his eyes from intoxication, looked like nothing more than a small child. He was a child who had many fears and didn’t want to talk about himself, who had built walls after being hurt, and who had been forced to become an adult due to his circumstances.
Dohyun, who had matured too early when he was too young, was still only good at hiding himself while pretending to be composed.
“Hah…”
Looking at the half-asleep Dohyun, Haegang touched his forehead.
“Why don’t you cry?”
Yet Dohyun, who had said it was so difficult, didn’t shed a single tear.
If someone is human, they probably have at least one, no, quite a few secrets they want to hide. The same was true for Haegang.
Haegang sighed at the Esper’s story he had heard. He’s still a small child. Just a young Esper, but Haegang could somewhat sense that he had a past different from what ordinary people experience.
That was it. He had just roughly guessed that it must have been a bit harder than for others, but all of his stories shook Haegang to the core.
‘Well… You don’t need to know about Baek Dohyun’s personal life.’
‘Don’t try to know too much, Guide Choi Haegang. Didn’t you sign a one-year contract with Esper Dohyun? Wasn’t it settled that Esper Dohyun would live at Guide Choi Haegang’s house and the guild would double the living expenses they provide to you?’
Why were there so many gatekeepers around his dedicated Esper? There was no shortage of people blocking him whenever he tried to find out even a little. The friends who sent cautious glances even while greeting him as soon as they saw him, the pink-haired guild member whom he had met not long ago, and even the Guild Master.
Of course, judging by the ability he used, he was an Esper worth cherishing. Even Haegang recalled their disastrous first meeting and thought, “Should I not have done that?”
But the more they lived together, the more he realized that the reason other people couldn’t take their eyes off this small Esper wasn’t simply because of his ability.
Choi Haegang. He had been in the spotlight from a young age. He had everything—physique, looks, swimming results, and even family background. He thought that was natural. He could have what he wanted without having to be mindful of others, and he could discard things.
But somehow, with this Esper, that wasn’t easy. For some reason, he was only irritating.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
