# Chapter 46
“Isn’t surviving for a day already quite an accomplishment?”
I never realized I was such an extrovert. Dohyun once again understood the wise saying, “know thyself.” It had only been a day, yet he missed the outside world. Of course, it wasn’t people or conversation he missed, but the hospital smell was suffocating.
Dohyun had always disliked hospitals. Previously, even when he got sick enough to need medical attention, he’d make excuses about not having money to avoid treatment. But now that excuse was gone, and he had no choice but to become a patient. In his frustration, he unbuttoned a couple of buttons on his annoying hospital gown before pulling the blanket over himself.
“Is it that uncomfortable for you?”
Haegang asked in a tone that suggested he couldn’t quite understand.
“Yes.”
“But you like staying at home, don’t you?”
“That’s true, but this is a hospital. Does Guide Choi Haegang like hospitals?”
“I don’t have many good memories of them, so no, I don’t particularly like them.”
After that emotionless response, Dohyun lost any energy to complain further. If you don’t like it, then why are you staying here? Of course, the barrier device belonged to Haegang, and Dohyun could be in danger if Haegang took it and went home. Even if Dohyun tried to get one himself, it wasn’t an item that was widely produced, so he couldn’t obtain one easily.
“…Guide Choi Haegang. Aren’t you going back home?”
“A house doesn’t collect that much dust just from being vacant for a short while.”
But it’s uncomfortable. Since he couldn’t chase away his caregiver, Dohyun pulled the blanket up to cover his face. He didn’t like this. He couldn’t understand why Haegang continued to stay in the hospital room.
Based on what Dohyun knew of Haegang’s personality, it didn’t make sense for him to be here. Being in the hospital room not only affected his sleeping and eating arrangements but also disrupted the routine that Haegang had always followed. Dohyun had clearly observed how Haegang, who had been a swimmer, meticulously repeated the same actions at the same times. The time he woke up, the time he ate, the time he exercised—everything was scheduled down to the minute and strictly adhered to. Yet this person was staying in the hospital for the sake of caregiving. Even though Dohyun wasn’t that sick. Feeling like he was continually becoming indebted to Haegang, Dohyun wished Haegang would show signs of annoyance and just go home.
“Aren’t you going to exercise?”
“I went out for a quick walk around the area.”
Come to think of it, he had gone out briefly after entrusting the device to Dohyun. Even that was a burden for Dohyun. His debt kept growing.
Dohyun felt a little grateful to Haegang for caring about his housing situation. He was also thankful that Haegang had provided Guiding when he was almost in danger after entering a gate he shouldn’t have. That’s why he wished Haegang wouldn’t stay by his side but would go home and rest. So he kept throwing reasons for Haegang to go home, but why wasn’t he taking the bait? He was truly stubborn.
“…I’m going to sleep for a while.”
“Go ahead.”
The sound of turning pages could be heard. In the quiet hospital room, the wide space with a light stillness was filled with the sound of Haegang turning book pages. The rustling sound tickled his ears, making it difficult to fall asleep despite wanting to. How long had it been since he’d tried to sleep with someone else present? That big Guide kept making Dohyun do things he had never experienced before.
With the blanket still covering his head, he opened and closed his eyes, counting numbers. If he could just appear to be sleeping, perhaps the Guide would leave him and do something else.
Dohyun hated feeling helpless. Lying in a hospital made him feel even more helpless. Although he had been hospitalized due to Chan’s stubbornness, the thought of not being able to do anything in the hospital made him uncomfortable.
“Can’t sleep?”
Even though Dohyun had deliberately covered his face with the blanket to make it impossible to tell if he was asleep or not, even when Haegang approached, he heard the sound of turning pages and Haegang’s voice together. They were still coming from the same distance. How did he know Dohyun wasn’t sleeping? Dohyun deliberately pretended to be asleep and didn’t respond.
“I know you’re not sleeping.”
“……”
The Guide’s voice was truly resolute.
“If you’re feeling restless, shall I request permission for you to go outside?”
This was a bit unusual. Why was Haegang trying to take care of him? Although he was asking casually while reading a book, it was still a question seeking Dohyun’s opinion.
‘If you’re just going to lie there, come out with me. Esper Baek Dohyun should start looking at places to live soon, shouldn’t you?’
This was a different tone from when he had confidently spoken before going out to see houses with a realtor, as if he expected Dohyun to naturally follow him. Dohyun finally pulled down the blanket that had been covering him up to his head. He sat up in bed and spoke in the direction where Haegang would be.
“You really don’t need to worry about me. Truly, Guide Choi Haegang, you can go home. After I’m discharged, I’ll find my way home on my own.”
“I’m taking care of you because I’m Esper Baek Dohyun’s contract Guide.”
“I won’t use my abilities, so it’s fine. I won’t make potions.”
“…I’m not monitoring you.”
“Then what?”
Haegang fell silent at Dohyun’s question. He already knew that Dohyun wasn’t very sick, so why was he insisting on staying in the hospital room? Haegang sighed.
“It’s because I feel sorry.”
“…Pardon?”
Was there something to be sorry for? As a confused voice came out, the sound of a book being firmly closed was heard. Haegang, who had gotten up from his chair and trudged over, was looking at Dohyun with an ambiguous expression.
“It happened because I suggested we go out, didn’t it?”
“What did?”
“Getting caught in the gate.”
“…?”
What was he talking about? Dohyun couldn’t understand Haegang’s words. Of course, it was Haegang who had suggested going out. But that and getting caught in the gate were completely separate matters.
“Do you stay at home because you anticipate traffic accidents, Guide Choi Haegang?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“It doesn’t make sense to say I got caught in the emergency gate because Guide Choi Haegang suggested we go out.”
“If we had stayed home as Esper Baek Dohyun suggested, you wouldn’t have been caught in the emergency gate.”
That was true, but the two events couldn’t be explained by a causal relationship in the first place. Realizing that Haegang had been taking care of him due to such an odd notion, Dohyun fell into contemplation about how to address this.
If it had been the usual Haegang, he would have realized that what he was saying made no sense. But why had he gone in that direction? Usually, when people do things they normally wouldn’t, it’s because of a change in their mental state. The look in Haegang’s eyes as he stood at a distance gazing at Dohyun wasn’t much different from usual. There was just a bit of guilt seeping through.
Opening his mouth with an “Ah,” Dohyun remembered his appearance when he saw Haegang in the gate. His clothes and hands were stained red, and blood was dripping from his eyes. Dohyun wasn’t in pain anymore, but perhaps Haegang had been more shocked by that sight than expected. After all, Guides were people too.
“You really don’t need to think that way. I’m truly fine. If I was destined to have such luck, I would have been caught in the gate even if I had stayed home.”
“……”
“Really.”
It wasn’t as if Haegang had known the gate would appear there and taken him there. So please, put down the mental burden and… go home. That was Dohyun’s only wish.
After looking down at Dohyun for a moment, Haegang asked in a low voice.
“Do you really want me to leave?”
“……”
That was true, but… hearing the serious tone, it was difficult to simply nod. After all, this was someone who had apologized to him. Dohyun inwardly groaned.
Moreover, while getting caught in the gate was indeed an accident, Dohyun had received a lot of help thanks to Haegang entering belatedly. It was true not just mentally but especially physically.
Without realizing it, Dohyun had been bleeding and his condition had rapidly deteriorated. When he saw Haegang, despite his resentment about why he had entered the gate, it was a fact that for a moment, he had felt relief. That voice he had heard when everywhere was dark and only a small fireball floating in the void was protecting him—it still hadn’t been forgotten. He probably would never forget it.
Dohyun hadn’t understood what it meant for an Esper to depend on a Guide. Since he had only felt discomfort during Guiding, he had prayed for the Guiding time to end quickly. But after experiencing this incident, his thoughts had changed a bit. The image of Haegang holding Dohyun in his arms, disregarding the blood staining his clothes, and transferring his Vigor, had approached Dohyun with a new sensation.
“…No, it’s not like that.”
Dohyun’s lips quivered at Haegang’s apology. Shouldn’t he also gather his courage? Maybe it was time to talk about that misunderstanding for which Haegang had consistently shown a sharp reaction toward him. Even knowing it was too late for an apology, Dohyun realized that if not now, given his personality, he might miss the opportunity to speak for a long time.
“…I’m sorry too.”
“For what?”
“…For when we first met.”
“Are you talking about saying I was scary?”
Ah, I should apologize for that too. With a complicated expression, Dohyun nodded.
“That, and also asking if I could go home after checking the matching rate…”
“……”
“The truth is, I said it because I genuinely didn’t understand the meaning. I’m sorry… for saying it so late.”
Haegang could consider it an excuse if he wanted. But Dohyun wanted to stop living with this misunderstanding.
He closed his eyes tightly and thought. It would be fine if Haegang got angry or scolded him, but he wished Haegang would say something… Dohyun hung his head low.
“You’re saying such strange things. I already know.”
To his ears, Haegang’s voice came with a tone suggesting it wasn’t a big deal.
Yes… What? He knows? Dohyun’s mouth fell open.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
